here's my latest hub here. what do you all think? good? or just a complete load of bull?
http://hubpages.com/hub/Hookers-and-Cal … n-Hubpages
I think the cynicism of the lead-in is too long. I got bored and decided you were a weirdo - luckily I caught the human trafficking pic just before I moved on. I would make the lead-in shorter and put in more actual (if abbreviated) information about the trafficking as what you have 'mostly' is opinion and what we already know. The idea is good and I like the pimp-talk.
lead in is too long? so are you saying it wasn't remotely funny then around the beginning?
It didn't come across to me as funny - until I realised it was humour by seeing the opposite - then it was funny.
Maybe it is a little too college humour for me - as I am an old fart and not American either ?
hmm..i think i get what your saying there now. Yeah, i think the beginning is a bit too long. You think I should just have the "Pimping 101" part as the beginning instead as a lead in and just take out the text that comes before it? that might work, right?
okay, thanks buddy for helping me out. i'll be sure to work on some changes to my hub now. thanks for the tip buddy.
by the way, i just unpublished this hub to work on it again some more. so just to let you all know. i'll post here again to let you know once i made the corrections to it.
- King Larry Gets Serious For A Moment -
Personally, I think the above heading within your hub sums up your problem here.
Are you seeking keyword recognition here with 'freaking?'
Are you writing specifically for the internal HP 'market?'
You are rolling several issues into one here and undermining their significance by placing them behind a (not-so-funny-if-you-aren't-from-the-US) facade.
I find no humor in trafficing kids and alike... and these issues in themselves would give you excellent hub content.. but you will need to approach it objectively, as you have underplayed it here with BS and 'cheapened' that issue! (Could be seen or taken as BadTaste!).
You have writing skills...
Your humor is not 'fully developed' or engaging enough to use in 'serious' subjects, with a 70% + benchmark for audience appreciation.
This is a Clue that I use to measure my humorous work. It is worth remembering - (Consider it as standup content value at say, the Comedy Club - What is My Message? How well did it flow and I deliver it?)
Why not split this hub (issue-wise) and write on the issues with the depth and 'caring' that they deserve?
Keep in mind the word Caring... as that is the key primary missing element in your article. To engage your readers better... Actually give them at the least a glimpse that YOU CARE (Seriously)
Maybe be Serious for more than Just a Moment huh?
by Rochelle Frank7 years ago
As many of you know, HP has recently provided us with a number of new ways to record feedback to the writers of hubs. In addition to just making ordinary comments, you can now add reinforcing clicks by...
by Debra Allen7 years ago
This is rediculous! Seriously, Adsense has got to get a real life. It isn't only this hubs but some others and I have started putting a poll up asking if the ads are related to the material presented in the...
by Darren3 years ago
Hey all, Just wanted to say hi.I only joined a few days ago and have been having such a great time. There are so many amazing hubs. I hope mine can be interesting now that I have just made it out of boot camp.I can't...
by Becki Rizzuti8 years ago
Well, somebody ripped off one of my hubs (Hubnuggets nominee How to Quit Smoking: An Easy Method). It's hilarious. You can see mine here:http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Quit-Smo … asy-MethodAnd theirs...
by schoolgirlforreal6 years ago
I'm just excited because this is a new exciting topic for me. Have anyone else written about this? How was your experience?Do you like Enya? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1L8uRApYeQ
by chaixkee8 years ago
Lots of ideas here... I think I can also read about funny stuffs here...
Copyright © 2017 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.