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Insults Galore! Here it is folks!

  1. paradigmsearch profile image88
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    The thread we have all been waiting for...

    Post yours or someone else's insults here!

    There are only a couple rules:

    1.    Do NOT direct your insult at ANY specific entity!

    2.    If posting someone else's golden insult, do NOT reveal the author!

    I will start:

    Quote start

    "snipped" wrote:

    "snipped", I could have three lobotomies and be given the diseased brain of a retarded termite, and I would still be more intelligent than you.

    I could outwit you whilst being in a coma.

    Quote end

    Edit: For the purposes of this thread only: When you click the OP “Post a Reply” button, you are really just clicking the “Post to the World” button. So have fun! smile

    Another edit from further down the thread:

    In case there is a misunderstanding.

    I’m looking for humor, genius, and poetry of words only.

    Please do NOT post anything mean or vicious. The objective here is one of entertainment, fun, and maybe even enlightenment.

    1. LiamBean profile image86
      LiamBeanposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I like this one though I don't know who said it.

      "You're so stupid your brain is like a BB in a boxcar."

      1. paradigmsearch profile image88
        paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        It’s amazing how many websites out there specialize in these kinds of quotes:

        “You're red shirt goes well with your eyes...”

        “Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.”

        “Shouldn't you have a license for being that ugly?”

        “All day I thought of you....I was at the zoo.”

        “Listen, are you always this stupid or are you just making a special effort today?”

        *** The last one will be used in one of the political forums within a week. smile

    2. lyndre profile image82
      lyndreposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I was answering the OPs initial thread.

      1. qwark profile image60
        qwarkposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        ok...it's always nice and polite to direct a response by using a name...just my opinion..:-)

  2. profile image0
    DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago

    can I qoute a non hubpages entity?

    1. paradigmsearch profile image88
      paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Yes! smile

      1. profile image0
        DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        "Oh, honey, I can see why your back hurts all the time...having to haul that thing around all day!" accidental insult from hubby, inteneded as understanding and concern.

        1. paradigmsearch profile image88
          paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this



          All men are pigs! smile

        2. paradigmsearch profile image88
          paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          This definitely makes the enlightenment category. smile

  3. J.R. Smith profile image61
    J.R. Smithposted 6 years ago

    Nice thread. I believe that if you really applied yourself and made the extra effort, over time you could be retarded.

  4. paradigmsearch profile image88
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    Edit: For the purposes of this thread only: When you click the OP “Post a Reply” button, you are really just clicking the “Post to the World” button. So have fun! smile

  5. thooghun profile image86
    thooghunposted 6 years ago

    Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs!  Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person!  Ah blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur Keeeng"!  You and all your silly English Knnnnnnnn-ighuts!!!

    Arthur: (getting mad) Now look here, my good ma--

    S: Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper!  Ah fart in your general direction!  Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

    Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?

    S: No!!  Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!

    1. paradigmsearch profile image88
      paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this



      This one is going to be used in the future by someone in the aforementioned forums. smile

    2. mrfluffy profile image60
      mrfluffyposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Is that an African or a European swallow?

  6. paradigmsearch profile image88
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    Edit: If nothing comes to mind, there is a goldmine in the Politics and Religion forums. smile

  7. Whitney05 profile image62
    Whitney05posted 6 years ago

    I don't think this is an appropriate thread, especially if you're intending that hubbers quote other hubbers who have said something inappropriate.

    1. paradigmsearch profile image88
      paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      It’s supposed to be unattributed, but I see you point. Plus, it looks like the rule was too restrictive. I’m changing my answer to DoorMattnomore’s question to “yes”! Qoutes from non-hubpages entities are fine! smile

    2. sunforged profile image63
      sunforgedposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      http://cdn.okcimg.com/php/load_okc_image.php/images/0x0/0x0/0/16164864367061766318.jpeg___1_500_1_500_cb94de6a_.png

      1. paradigmsearch profile image88
        paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        .
        I had to ponder, but I finally got it. smile

      2. profile image0
        DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        he he he. smile

  8. J.R. Smith profile image61
    J.R. Smithposted 6 years ago

    They are already playing this game in the politics and religion forums. It's the same old thing ,the left versus the right with stupidity in the center.

    1. paradigmsearch profile image88
      paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Yep! But on this thread there are no victims. That way we can admire the beauty and poetry of the insult without guilt. smile

  9. paradigmsearch profile image88
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    In case there is a misunderstanding:

    I’m looking for humor, genius, and poetry of words only. smile

    Please do NOT post anything mean or vicious. The objective here is one of entertainment, fun, and maybe even enlightenment.

  10. profile image0
    Home Girlposted 6 years ago

    "To call you stupid is an insult to stupid people!"

  11. J.R. Smith profile image61
    J.R. Smithposted 6 years ago

    Well, there goes the fun. Might as well go to the dentist.

  12. Greek One profile image78
    Greek Oneposted 6 years ago

    Your mother is a <snipped> who is <snipped> because <snipped> didn't <snipped> and <snipped> the horse too, you <snipped> <snipped> <snipped> !!!

  13. profile image0
    DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago

    my friend's boyfriend, while trying to be romantic and carry her into the bedroom
    "oh, wait, we can't fit through the door."
    "what?!"
    "No, I mean..you wont fit through the door."
    "that's not any better."
    "NO!! I mean..the door way is smaller then you."
    "ok..umm.."
    "NO!! I mean..your not big, but...nevermind."

  14. profile image0
    DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago

    when I was kid.."Oh, don't be sad. Im sure you were pretty when you were younger!"

  15. frogdropping profile image85
    frogdroppingposted 6 years ago

    Me: "I know I know, I'm sorry - I can't sing very well"

    Simões: "You can't sing. Period"

    lol

    1. profile image0
      DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      lol  oh yeah, Ive heard that too.

  16. Greek One profile image78
    Greek Oneposted 6 years ago

    "Have you called Jenny yet?

  17. profile image0
    DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago

    Im trying to explain to my straight faced daughter a joke I had just made up..she interrupts with a  huge sigh  "I get it mom, its just not that funny."


    or my eldest's favourite description of me.."Mom, your ridiculous."

  18. profile image0
    DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago

    "oh, its you."

  19. paradigmsearch profile image88
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    Bumper Stickers:

    You have delusions of adequacy.

    I love you more today than tomorrow.

    You are obviously a fine human being in your own right. And I mean that.

    You are a total waste of protein.

    The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

  20. frogdropping profile image85
    frogdroppingposted 6 years ago

    Ma: "*sighs* I don't know. You're nothing I wanted. Look, I just don't like you"

    Me: hmm

    I need a new mommy big_smile

  21. J.R. Smith profile image61
    J.R. Smithposted 6 years ago

    You say you cry because daddy drinks. Honey, daddy drinks because you cry.

  22. Daniel Carter profile image89
    Daniel Carterposted 6 years ago

    "You're so narrow minded your ears touch."


    "If your brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to drive a piss ant's motorcycle around the inside of a cheerio."

  23. ddsurfsca profile image69
    ddsurfscaposted 6 years ago

    I might be fat but you are ugly, and I can go on a diet, you are stuck with it.

  24. ddsurfsca profile image69
    ddsurfscaposted 6 years ago

    You are so dumb, that if brains were dynomite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.

  25. ddsurfsca profile image69
    ddsurfscaposted 6 years ago

    I'll love you till the end of time---
    I'm praying for the end of time

    1. profile image0
      DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      heyyyyyy thats a song!!!  tongue

  26. paradigmsearch profile image88
    paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

    “Paradigmsearch publishes another hub.”

    A sigh of excitement ripples across the forums…

  27. Stacie L profile image87
    Stacie Lposted 6 years ago

    did I fall into Top*x??
    i guess that was insult enough...smile

    1. paradigmsearch profile image88
      paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

      Feel free to announce your hub publications on this thread, but only if you insult yourself (or your hub) in the same post.smile

      edit: But no links! That would be a no-no.smile

      1. profile image0
        DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        just read your bumper stickers.  good stuff!!  big_smile

        1. profile image0
          DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          oops, I realy mean that, I was not posting an insult..honest!!

          1. paradigmsearch profile image88
            paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            lol

    2. Mikeydoes profile image79
      Mikeydoesposted 6 years ago

      You have about as many friends as Stevie Wonder has eyes to see.

      You're about as funny as 9/11

    3. WryLilt profile image86
      WryLiltposted 6 years ago

      Not really an insult, more of a threat (said by a cranky old bus driver on our school bus to a kid):

      Keep that up and I'll pull off your arms, stick 'em in your ears and ride you around like a motorcycle.

      Yeah, we had some creepy bus drivers in school. The kid shut up and sat down, however.

      1. profile image0
        DoorMattnomoreposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        HA HA HA HA!!!!!!! Oh, maybe I shouldnt be laughing? the kids on my bus would have deserved those comments tho..

    4. Pcunix profile image88
      Pcunixposted 6 years ago

      It is unfortunate that you are too ignorant for me to insult you properly.

      1. paradigmsearch profile image88
        paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        I actually have run across a few people like that.smile

        1. paradigmsearch profile image88
          paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          OOPS. I better clarify.

          I am very happy to say that I have not run across any such persons on this website.smile.

          1. profile image0
            china manposted 6 years ago in reply to this

            What you meant to type was I would like to RUN OVER a few people like that big_smile

            1. paradigmsearch profile image88
              paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this

              Uh-Oh. It's getting so that everything means the opposite on this thread. I'm scr*w*d.smile

              edit: I better put some stars in that...

    5. profile image0
      china manposted 6 years ago

      thank you for your input, god bless you and I wil pray for you

      On losing the argument.

    6. ddsurfsca profile image69
      ddsurfscaposted 6 years ago

      some people are so narrow minded, that thoughts cannot even make it through their minds if they turn sideways.

    7. Reality Bytes profile image93
      Reality Bytesposted 6 years ago

      There is only two reasons why someone would not agree to what I just presented to you.

      One is that they are simply stupid.

      The other being that they do not fully understand what has been presented.

      I know you understand the proposal!

    8. ddsurfsca profile image69
      ddsurfscaposted 6 years ago

      You are so stupid you sit on the TV and watch the couch.

    9. ddsurfsca profile image69
      ddsurfscaposted 6 years ago

      what do men and sperm have in common?  --  they both stand one in a million chance of becoming human.

    10. ddsurfsca profile image69
      ddsurfscaposted 6 years ago

      You are so fat your blood type is ragu, and when you wake up you wake up in sections.

    11. dutchman1951 profile image60
      dutchman1951posted 6 years ago

      go take a shower, you got stupid all over you!

    12. dutchman1951 profile image60
      dutchman1951posted 6 years ago

      you mean that lump on your shoulder is your head!

    13. profile image0
      china manposted 6 years ago

      This thread seems to be getting a little old - maybe we could try for the most subtle or ironic insult smile

      . . . . is not a racist

    14. mrfluffy profile image60
      mrfluffyposted 6 years ago

      Said in response to someone asking my partner how well I played the guitar, she replied “he plays well when no one can hear him”.  I haven’t picked it up since!

    15. kirstenblog profile image78
      kirstenblogposted 6 years ago

      I just saw this and though it belongs here smile
      http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs11/i/2006/201/6/6/Random_by_next2nick.gif

    16. kirstenblog profile image78
      kirstenblogposted 6 years ago

      This cat has more sense then you wide load!
      http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs41/f/2009/020/1/1/funny_by_xiaofeihui.gif





      Ok I just really wanted to post that! Too Cute!

    17. ddsurfsca profile image69
      ddsurfscaposted 6 years ago

      Here is a surefire way to lose 15 pounds of ugly fat--cut off your head

    18. mrfluffy profile image60
      mrfluffyposted 6 years ago

      One that’s doing the rounds with us
      “I am one of the few people that genuinely like you”!

    19. Pcunix profile image88
      Pcunixposted 6 years ago

      In response to "What am I missing?"

      Brains, talent, looks..

    20. Pcunix profile image88
      Pcunixposted 6 years ago

      Eat at (local restaurant) once, shame on them. Eat there twice, shame on us.

      1. dutchman1951 profile image60
        dutchman1951posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        lol,,,can you say Alka-seltzer!

        1. Pcunix profile image88
          Pcunixposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          This was a real Tweet I made about a local restaurant. Both times we had problems with the food and both times the kitchen argued with us!  For one, the chef even came out to personally tell us that we were wrong and his food was fine.  I never would have gone back but someone gave us a gift certificate. I told my wife to throw it away or give it away, but she wanted to given them another chance.  Never again!

    21. kirstenblog profile image78
      kirstenblogposted 6 years ago

      I just heard the most obscure and funny one!

      In an attic somewhere there is a painting of you getting prettier.



      Gotta have read Dorian Grey but that is hysterical! lol

    22. paradigmsearch profile image88
      paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago

      This thread resurrected by popular demand!smile

    23. qwark profile image60
      qwarkposted 6 years ago

      I don't understand.
      I can't be insulted/offended.
      Doesn't one have to allow oneself to be insulted/offended?
      If so, isn't that a personal decision?
      Why should anyone be banned for a decision, by someone, to be insulted/offended.
      Confusing....

      1. paradigmsearch profile image88
        paradigmsearchposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Good Philosophical Post!

        Agreed!

        What about personal attacks and stalking?

        smile

        1. qwark profile image60
          qwarkposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          ..call the cops...lol

     
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