Hello everyone, I am new here and would like some constructive criticism. I just made my first hubpage, so please take a look at it if you can and tell me what you think. You can see it at:
Yep - this is the place for it
I looked at it and it seems to have everything that sucessful selling hubs has.
I was not so keen on the writing, I find it too rushed and so it seems to kind of jumble together (although when read carefull it is not actually jumbled - just looks and feels). The individual parts of it are fine, just the way it is put together I think.
Maybe more paragraphs to break it up a bit might do it, re-writing would be too much effort relative to my minor criticism I think - but if you do then it could be padded up a bit to make each sentence or group of sentences more relaxed and seperate it a bit from its bunch?
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