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Need Help Made First Hub Page

  1. superbob17 profile image60
    superbob17posted 5 years ago

    Hello everyone, I am new here and would like some constructive criticism. I just made my first hubpage, so please take a look at it if you can and tell me what you think. You can see it at:


    Thank you.

    1. kannanwrites profile image84
      kannanwritesposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Its good, add a supporting video if possible.

  2. 0
    Website Examinerposted 5 years ago

    I find it very well-written and interesting.

  3. 0
    china manposted 5 years ago

    Yep - this is the place for it smile

    I looked at it and it seems to have everything that sucessful selling hubs has. 

    I was not so keen on the writing, I find it too rushed and so it seems to kind of jumble together (although when read carefull it is not actually jumbled - just looks and feels). The individual parts of it are fine, just the way it is put together I think. 

    Maybe more paragraphs to break it up a bit might do it, re-writing would be too much effort relative to my minor criticism I think - but if you do then it could be padded up a bit to make each sentence or group of sentences more relaxed and  seperate it a bit from its bunch?