This is my second hubpage,could you please let me know what you think

1. 63

   ravkoposted 13 years ago

   I tried to implement the suggestions I received from my 1st hub, so hopefully I'm on the right track...I'm always open to suggestions and advice, eventually I'd like to be great at writing hubs, thanks a million to everyone...
   http://hubpages.com/hub/Why-Weight-Pull-With-Your-Dog

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2. 61

   CASE1WORKERposted 13 years ago

   Hi
   One thing I noticed- you have "things you'll need" then no products found- perhaps you ought to remove the capsule.
   I enjoyed this hub with the photos and the video and the writing was good.
   
   I hope that other hubbers take the time to read this hub as it is lovely and something that I had not heard of but can understand the need for
   
   thanks for alerting me to you work

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   1. 63

      ravkoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Hello Case1worker thanks for visiting my hub, I'm not sure why the amazon capsule wasn't working I checked from my end and it always worked for me...I have since moved each product to their own capsule, maybe they didn't like sharing the same capsule - lol, also thanks for leaving me  a comment on my hub, you are the very first person to  leave a comment on my hubs...

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3. 95

   wildernessposted 13 years ago

   As case1 says, one Amazon capsule is empty.  Always double check these capsules - they often don't work as expected.
   
   I would also move the bottom Amazon capsule up or delete it.  It probably won't do a lot of good clear at the end of a fairly long hub.
   
   A good hub, though, and well written.  I had trouble with the title in that I had no idea of what it would be about when I saw it, and even thought it must be a mistake.  Perhaps folks more knowledgeable about the subject wouldn't have that problem though.
   
   A neat story - I enjoyed reading it.

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   1. 63

      ravkoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks wilderness for visiting my hub, I took your advice and moved my amazon capsule up from the bottom...Thanks again for enjoying my hub...

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4. 76

   carolappleposted 13 years ago

   Hi - great hub. The content is rich and interesting and I think you are a good writer. My only comment is that run-on sentences and punctuation issues are distracting to the reader. Of course, I edit documents for a living, so I am biased in favor of correct grammar.
   
   But many readers take grammar and punctuation seriously, and you don't want to let piddly grammar issues distract from otherwise terrific writing. I took a couple sentences of your text and edited the punctuation to a more conventional grammar. See what you think.
   
   Original:
   
   "Weight Pulling for dogs isn't a new thing, dogs pulled heavy sleds back in the Klondike days during the gold rush, Bernese Mountain Dogs are still pulling carts to this day...So why not weight pulling for Orca? I did some research on the weight pulling sport, your dog wears a special harness, is hooked up to a sled or cart which holds a minimum amount of weight at the start, your dog pulls the cart either over carpet, dirt or gravel..."
   
   My suggested edit:
   
   "Weight pulling for dogs isn't a new thing: dogs pulled heavy sleds back in the Klondike days during the gold rush and Bernese Mountain Dogs are still pulling carts to this day. So why not weight pulling for Orca? I did some research on the sport and found out how it works. Your dog is hooked up to a sled or cart with a special harness. At the start of the event, the cart or sled is loaded with a minimum amount of weight and your dog pulls it over carpet, dirt, or gravel."

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   1. 63

      ravkoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks carolapple for visiting my hub and suggestion I have implemented your suggestion, it's always nice when a someone who edits for a living visits and leaves suggestions, helps out a great deal...Thanks again

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5. 86

   kschangposted 13 years ago

   The intro needs a bit of work. The first paragraph doesn't grab me. You need a bit more exciting intro. You should have put something like... (I'm just imagining that I'm in your place)
   
   The big day is here. This is the final heat, where Orca, my _____ dog, will attempt to pull 1000 pounds across (distance ____). If he can do it, he will be the undisputed champ in (category / race). As I gave him final bits of encouragement (a rub behind the ears?), I cannot help to think back to where he came from, and how he had gotten here...
   
   (then segue into the puppy days and stuff)
   
   There is a mismatch between title and hub content. The hub content is "Orca and dog weight pulling". The title is "why weight pull with your dog". The two doesn't fit together. If you want to promote canine weight pulling, you need to intermix the challenges of training a dog for weight pulling, the type of dogs suitable for weight pulling (clearly chihuahuas aren't good for that, unless there's a category for that...) and in between throw in your own challenges in training Orca for that.

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   1. 63

      ravkoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks kschang for visiting my hub it was greatly appreciated I will add some more information on my next day off...I'm not sure about the chihuahuas but I have read that people with jack russsels weight pull, I'll have to add that to my hub on the suitable dogs that weight pull great suggestion...Thanks again I do value all comments and suggestions...

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