Writers grow by way of feedback. If we don't grow, we stagnate. I am looking for people who can read something with an eye to its faults and give me a critique that is as brutal as possible. I'm not looking for opinions, I'm looking for a grammatical, plot development, and literary style beat down. Please feel free to post said beat down either here or on my hubs, as I don't delete comments and will refer back to them later on. I'm not one to argue back, that's a waste of time. I don't care so much about my poems or the academic stuff I have up, but of course will take any input I can get. My focus is fiction for the sake of entertaining, and I intend to make a lifelong pursuit of it, if not a career.
I should warn you that some of my hubs contain foul language and/or violence. It's not any worse than you'd see on an episode of CSI, but I make a point of letting potential readers know.
My main focus right now is Teddy Bear.
I'd welcome thoughts on The Believers, Mud Man, and anything else that strikes you as problematic.
Also, if you feel my writing lends credence to my opinion as a writer, I am quite happy to read and critique anyone else's fiction. (Although I should add I am typically nicer than the type of criticism I am looking for.)I came to hub pages to increase my readership and to find out what about my writing doesn't work. So please, lay it on thick.
Thank you for your time.
Home Girl, do you not understand the use of the Extreme Hub Makeover Forum thread?
The hubber was asking for critique. Since I am not into fiction writing, I didn't post any critique.
But your post makes no sense considering the rules of the forum says you're wrong in your statement.
I loved the Teddy Bear prologue, and it definitely makes me want to read more. Your stated goal is entertaining -- and you did. Job well done.
On the nitpicky side of things, 13 of your first 33 sentences began with the word "he." (Yes. I counted.) When I read stuff like that, I begin to obsess about it and then I start to actually look for more instead of focusing on the story. But that's just me...
Wow! I can't wait for the rest of it!!
I think the beginning starts off a little slow. You seem to use more short sentences in the beginning - I think you could mix in some complex sentences to equal it out, without losing the tension. A short description of who Hollis is, at the beginning, would be a good thing. (such as: a relic from the Vietnam War or something like that) I also wonder what hit him while he was washing dishes - I'm assuming it's Teddy Bear, but it isn't exactly clear.
You have three paragraphs in a row that begin with 'He'. You may want to play a little with the wording. I absolutely loved the shadows shifting line!
Oh, shoot! I forgot to follow you - I'll hafta go back!
When the partyers approach Hollis the gun shots come out of nowhere. It's a logical outcome, but not forshadowed.
Okay, going back, now, to follow you!
by Sophia Angelique4 years ago
I have a question.Where did all that need for someone else to critique one's writing come from? I never heard of it until I arrived in the UK in 1999.Is this the result of wanabes that can't write to save their lives...
by Mohamed Farid6 years ago
Hi and Happy New Year EveryoneI have made a quality lens on how to become a freelancer and earn money from home and i wanted you all to give me your opinions and constructive criticism, you won't be sorry and i will...
by Molly Shores2 years ago
So I am interested in honing in my journalistic skills and engaging the reader. Please give me your input on any and all of my content-- this is my most recent. http://mollymillions.hubpages.com/hub/S … -The-Green
by Victoriaaa6 years ago
I want to write a novel, but I want to know what people are reading these days so I know what genre to write in and how to write my vision. What do you guys consider a good book?
by Catherine Mostly2 years ago
First, apologies to Tori since it will SEEM like I'm picking on her HotD - I'm not. These featured hubs need to be touched by an editor if Hubpages is ever going to be taken seriously as a 'real' writing site.1. The...
by whooops6 years ago
Hello everyone, I am new obviously & this is my first time here at the Hubber's Hangout so please be gentle with me.Anyway, I have this nagging question inside my head which I really wanted to ask but I couldn't...
Copyright © 2017 HubPages Inc. and respective owners.
Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc.
HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.