I'm a winner again please congratulate me I'm getting so much money I really would like to share with all of you my friends here at hubpages... At last count I should have about )601,293.5 millions (601,293,500,000.89) all in USdollars and SterlingPounds and Nigerian what-ya-may-call-it's and HongKong dollars. (plus 89 cents my adsense earnings from last night) I've accumulated all this wealth within the last three months. I assume because I'm so great that I am going to stay the chosen one for a bit longer. As I said before I want to share so leave me a note of how much of this you would like and naturally in what shape or currency you would like it in. I've added this latest e-mail just to show you that I'm serious about this after all Sir Mario Domenico said I was a final recipient
regards Zsuzsy Bee
(I'm just so tired of this s**t e-mail daily)
I won 6 lotteries today alone, so thanks for the offer Zsuzsy, but I've got money comin' out my ears already! Didn't get any pesos though, so if you did I wouldn't mind a few million of those. I'll trade you for some dead guy's goldmine that I apparently inherited.
Oh yeah, and Sympatico wants me to email them my email address and password right away. I know that because they emailed me. They've warned me now, so I shouldn't go crying to them if my account gets shut down for not doing so.
Is it me, or is there a tidal wave of these things lately?
Sorry Shirley I'm fresh out of pesos but what can I trade you for that goldmine? You sure the guy is dead?
I was away for a few hours yesterday when I came home I thought I'd check my e-mail as I'm waiting for one (that didn't come) but my eyes almost dropped out of my head. In 5.5 hours I had received 112 pieces of c**p. It had calmed down a bit over the past months for me but here we go again. Even one from "Mirosoft" and the best one "Work for Googelworks" (the spelling of both kind of gave them away).
I don't know what they wanted as obviously I just scrapped them all in one big swoop... I can't help thinking that possibly I've ruined my life for good... I might have been able to buy (what's his name) the 'Mirosoft' guy, out with my inheritances
LOL, you'd look good sitting behind Bill Gates' desk, Zsuzsy. Much more attractive, too.
Hmmm, I'm not sure what else could get me to part with that precious, and I'm sure very real goldmine. I'll have to think about that, but right now $20 sounds good.
You sure are a ray of sunshine Bob! You just ruined my day for good I had plans for that 'dough' zs
But that's just because you didn't give them your bank information...
Those guys are getting sooooo lazy. I remember getting long email like 1000 or 2000 words - and look what I just got:
AFTER OUR QUATERLY AUDIT OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT'S ACCOUNTS LAST FRIDAY,
WE DISCOVERED YOUR INFORMATIONS AS ONE OF THE CERTIFIED BENEFICIARIES
OF SOME FUNDS THAT RUN INTO MILLIONS.
ON THE ADVISE OF THE AUDITOR GENERAL, I WAS MANDATED TO VERIFY THE REASONS WHY YOU HAVE NOT BEEN PAID . BE ADVISED TO TELL US WHAT THE PROBLEM IS BECAUSE THE PAYING BANKS ARE OF THE OPINION THAT YOU REJECTED ALL THE PROCESSES OF YOUR PAYMENT.
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. YOUR REASONS WILL BE TREATED WITH UTMOST
PROF. DAVID NANA
It wouldn't even qualify for a substandard hub
I must be one of the luckiest people in the world! I've won every single online lottery. And no matter what I don't do, I'm winning a few of these lotteries every single month!
Here's one I recieved in my mail just a few minutes ago:
PRICE WINNER NOTICE !!
Your e-mail address was selected as one of the lucky winner
of £1,000,000,00 GBP among other 10 lucky winners in our monthly
draw of the POWER BALL LOTTERY ONLINE AWARD TEAM.
Winning: Ref Nr: PBL/CN/6654/CP
Winning: coupon No.PBL2348974321
Contact Person: Mr Anderson Moore
Mrs. Stella Bryan
I've been thinking about getting myself one of those secret Swiss Bank Acoounts!
I'm glad to see I'm not the only "lucky" winner. I guess with all of you getting your fair share of winnings I with draw my offer of sharing my riches and I'll just become a filthy rich old batty recluse. I'll buy myself a mountain top cabin. zs
Hi dear All
I just won the Nokia International Award, when i haven't used a Nokia Phone in my whole life
AWARD PRIZE AWARD 2008
Your email address has just won you the sum of ￡900,000.00 GBP in the
satellite software email lottery conducted by NOKIA E-MAIL PROMO
INTERNATIONAL In which e-mail addresses are picked randomly by software
powered by the Internet.
Your email address was amongst those chosen in this quarter and you are to
contact our CLAIMS OFFICER with the informations below for Clearance.
CONTACT NAME: DR TERRY FLOYD.
I get 20 to 30 mails daily like this,i enjoy reading them.
Terence you bet the party will be at my mountain top all are invited, You too ProCW.
Shinujohn! Wow, you won the much sought after Nokia awards, you're so lucky I never won that one.
Weblog! Do I detect a slight bit of envy in your comment? Come on 'fes up. I might be able to put a good word in to the luck-fairy for you just so you can win awards like us. let me know
Unfortunately (:p) I never get any prizes in my inbox. I would love a spare million to play around with
How would you like it, unfortunately I'm fresh out of pesos... zs
I'll take mine in the form of butter tarts! Oops! Did I say that out loud?
I win at least 10-15 such lotteries every week. I don't encash them. I simply put them in the SPAM.
Zsuzsy! Hahaha I just had to laugh at your exasperation!
You know Michelle, every so often I just need to blow off some steam at the garbage that is floating around. We, the human race have not only polluted the earth, the same is being done to cyber-space now too... all this spam. (Something to ponder: Will it ever overflow?)
I thought we all could use a small little half smile as we shake our head and press delete.
greetings from a beautifully sunny Canada zs
Here's one for kicks and giggles:
UK NATIONAL LOTTERY HEADQUARTERS:
P O Box 1010 Liverpool, L70 1NL UNITED KINGDOM
This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of
£500,000(Five Hundred Thousand (BritishPounds) held on the 23rd of July, 2008 in London UK.
Contact our fiduciary agent for claims with:
Agents Name: Mr.David williams
Tell: +44 702 403 2774
+44 702 40 32659
REF No: UKNL-L/200-26937
BATCH No: 2005MJL-01
TICKET No: 20511465463-7644
Fill the below:
3. Marital Status:
8. Country of Residence:
9. Telephone Number:
What I find interesting is that they inform me I'm a WINNER, but how do they know that if they don't even have any of my information? They ask for my phone number, country, occupation, address and even my NAME, so how can I be a winner if they don't even know who I am? Good stuff.
Holy-Moly! "fiduciary agent" I haven't heard that one yet. Half the time these messages don't even have proper sentences let alone words like fiduciary. I still love my "Mirosoft" awards the best though.
I hope your family is well, I bet little schnooks is growing like a little weed regards Zsuzsy
Or how about this one supposedly from UK:
Your email address has won $4.6M from the UK Lottery online draws held this month with your Lucky Number:MX014926583 Contact Mr. Jonathan Ong with your Full Name,Address,Sex/Age,Tel,Occupation,Date of Draw on (firstname.lastname@example.org)Tel+447045772228 for delivery of your cheque
- UK National Lottery Organisation
Since when has the UK alphabet included symbols?
My favorite spam is the one that says I'm the distant relative of some joe schmoe (usually in the UK) and that he had died and left me a large inheritance. Too bad I can't find one of those when I really "need" to so I can post it for some laughs...
Okay, last one just because I'm having too much fun with this:ATTENTION: Beneficiary,
We, the entire members of the Federal House of Senate, Under the auspices
of the new civilian Head of State(FRN), held a meeting last week with
Stake Holders prior to the Call for Justice by the UN, US and other
International Communities in respect of your Overdue Inheritance Payment.
On going through files, we discovered that your file was dumped untreated
this juncture we apologize for the delay on your payment. Kindly Re-confirm
your Inheritance/Contract amount to the Federation Auditor General through
his email thus: email@example.com and you will be paid you through a
Creditable Bank oversea's as a resolution has been passed regarding it by
Senator David Mark.
It makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside to learn that "the entire members of the Federal House of Senate" held a meeting just for me. I mean seriously, who else can say that they had some country's congress convene solely on the behalf of their financial benefit?
Now I'm simply waiting for my money to be paid to me through that credible overseas bank.
Thanks for asking zsuzsy yhey're great! The little one is in my lap as I type. She's strongly against me using two hands to type...
I just love how the personal messages always start of with "My name is Mr.Blah-blah" when does anyone introduce themselves as Mr., Miss, Mrs. or Ms.... zs
Here is latest one more
ATTN:CONTACT UPS NOW.
Due to your effort, sincerity, courage and trust worthiness you showed during the course of the Uk Online Lotto Winning cheque shipment to your location, I want to compensate you and show my gratitude to you with the sum of $850,000 USD (Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand United States Dollars) in cash but I have arranged the money to be delivered to you via UPS DELIVERY COMPANY as I will be out of the country for a 4 Months Course and I will not come back till ending of October 2008.
For your information, I have paid for the delivery Fee, Insurance premium and other charges so contact DHL International Delivery Company now to know when they will deliver your Consignment to you because of the expiring date.
The only money you will send to the UPS DELIVERY COMPANY to deliver your Consignment direct to your postal Address in your country is $300USD (Three hundred United States Dollars) only being Security Payment/Keeping Fee of UPS DELIVERY COMPANY.
I would have paid that but they declined because they don't know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage. You have to contact UPS DELIVERY COMPANY now for the delivery of your package with this information below;
Directors Name: REV.MIKEL LEYDEN
That three hundrend in unmarked US dollars is well worth the exchange for what was it $850,000 I bet my answer to you is hitting you in the back end as your rushing out the door to get the cash. There really is a need to hurry you don't want to wait till October as the REV.MIKEL LEYDEN might forget or change his mind and give it to me instead... zs
I won BMW 5 Series also
You won the sum of £750,000.00 GBP and BMW 5 Series Car in
the BMW promotion Seasonal E-mail Programme Award,please contact the
claims officer with your:Names..,Tel....Sex...Age..Occupation Nationality
Yeah the way I tell if it's a hoax or not is dependent upon whether they ask for my social security number.
If they ask for the SSN it's legit.
If they don't ask for the SSN it's fraudulent, because how could they award the prize without your social?
HI Zsuzsy, I woke up at 2 am groan. Anyhow ended up tinkering with the school's website. Yes its pretty okay to let off steam every now and then. I was smiling at you with the I won I won I won I won I won I won I won thingy...and I could imagine delete delete delete delete delete delete delete delete going on too... I do that sometimes...just the entire folder and wham! goodbye...no more messages for me.
Its 4 am...maybe I should try going back to sleep. Take care...
If you guys decide to throw any of your winnings away , ill take them so you dont have to
You asked for congratulations and none has given yet.Okay accept from me,you deserve it.Remember Misha also
I too have been winning all kinds of major money prizes, pulitzers and stuff like that. I had to get a uhaul trailer to get it all home and then put it in my garage. I do appreciate your kindness and if there was anymore room in my (now filled with green backs) garage, I would take some of that off your hands. Thanks!
My email account has been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$1,000.000,00 (One Million United States Dollar Only). Time for an eparty
We can have a spam party . I have 423 unread emails in my spam folder. You all can have a good time reading them
UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA,
Attention Mr. /Mrs.
I am an Accountant with UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA formerly known as the STANDARD TRUST BANK PLC,My name is Mr. Lauren David, a Banker I am the Personal Account Manager to Engineer Michael of your country, who used to work with shell Development company in Nigeria. Here in after shall be referred to as my client On 6th may 2002, my client, his wife, and their three children were involved in a plane crash along kano state,en-route Abuja (The Capital City).All occupants of the plane member lost their lives. Unfortunately on this same flight were other dignitaries like the Nigerian Sports Minister and a host of others. The following websites could be referenced:
http://www.hinduonnet.com/thehindu/2002 … 51500.html
http://www.hinduonnet.com/2002/05/05/st … 70101.html
Since then I have made several inquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended Relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.
I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client before they Get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were lodged, particularly the UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA formerly known as the STANDARD TRUSTBANK PLC. Where the deceased had an account Valued at about ($15 Million US Dollars)has Issued me a notice to provide the next of kin. Or have the accountconfiscated within the next ten official working days.
Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 2 to 3years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since youhave the same last name so that the proceeds of this account valued at ($15 Million US Dollars) can be paid to you and then you and me Can share the money.40% to me and 55% to you. 5% will set aside for defrayal of any expenses that may be incurred locally and internationally in course of the transfer.
An attorney will be contracted to help us revalidated and notarize all the necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make.
All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. You can reply me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Mr. Lauren David
Apparently I lost another branch off my family tree. Poor Engineer Michael...
ZB--and everyone else--
"Even one from "Mirosoft" as per Zsuzsy's first post.
Got a warning in yesterday not to open anything from Microsoft. It has a whopper of a virus in it that, as of 8-8-08, has no cure.
Careful all, opening this stuff is really dangerous! Just hit the delete button instead!
Thanks for the warning Ruthie! You're absolutely right this kind of c**p shouldn't be opened. I had some dealings, a while back, with some branch of Microsoft, it sure would have been easy enough to open anything with their name on. (Mirosoft the spelling alone told me what it would be)
Have a super duper day and kindest regards Zsuzsy
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