...go out for a day hiking in the woods. It is late in the afternoon, and they are just turning around to head home. As they make their way down the trail, they spot a bear.
"RUN!!" Shouts Bob. They take off running, and the bear begins to pursue them.
Bob realizes he is running alone, and turns to spot his buddy, Tim, sitting on a rock changing his shoes. "What in the world are you doing?!" asks Bob. "Putting on my running shoes." "Do you really think we can outrun a bear?" "I don't have to outrun the bear; I just have to outrun you!"
As a guest was leaving I was going to bring out a bag of trash (because I don't really like going out in the dark yard alone). There are woods around my street, and we have all the usual woodland creatures (and...