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If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!

  1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image84
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago

    A friend sent this e-mail to my daughter who in turn sent it to me.

    This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

    Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
    Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on =2 0 FM dial in , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
    Needless to say, she won.

    ~Hi Sue,
    Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all . Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered 20 industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding  the jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five & gt;> other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

    Needless t o say I aborted the dive.I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

    As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't shit for two days because my ass was swollen shut.

    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.

    Now repeat  to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.' Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

    >> May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!! Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

    1. Jerrico Usher profile image61
      Jerrico Usherposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      That was HILARIOUAS!

      1. Jerrico Usher profile image61
        Jerrico Usherposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        oops horid spelling, it was an accident I swear.. anyone got spelling theraflu?

        1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image84
          Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago in reply to this

          Glad to see you back in the forums Jericho. I love that posting it still makes me laugh.
          regards Zsuzsy

  2. Misha profile image74
    Mishaposted 8 years ago

    That's a nice one smile

    Poor guy though, I feel for him sad

    1. 0
      Anitha1978posted 8 years ago in reply to this

      What a bad day at the office for this guy. imagine not being able to do his business for 2 days. here are some other real bad days http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f242/WhoLikeInsideOutOreos/bad_day.jpg http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h315/FIREMOUNTAIN214/BADDAYONTHERIG.jpg

  3. hot dorkage profile image80
    hot dorkageposted 8 years ago

    It might suck but it's a job.  Not everyone has one.  But that is f**king hilarious!

    1. 0
      Anitha1978posted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Its a true story so the only positive thing the poor man can take with him is that he didnt come to a worse end. I heard a jellyfish's sting is poisonous enough kill or paralyse you.

  4. Zsuzsy Bee profile image84
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago

    Those are great pics. That fishy seems to be in a crabby mood...zs

    1. 0
      Anitha1978posted 8 years ago in reply to this

      You know this thread you started i suggest you keep it going by letting those who had a bad day come and pour it out here. give them a place to vent out their frustration... hmm ?

      1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image84
        Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        That sounds like a perfectly great idea. I like it. zs

        1. 0
          Anitha1978posted 8 years ago in reply to this

          OK let me go first. My doggie Ralp did his business in my Papa's shoe. My papa got really pissed off and wanted to throw Ralph out of the house. There was a big fight between me and my papa. He left the house in a huff and is refusing to pick up my calls or reply to my sms. Papa always calls me and check on me but today it has been nearly 4 hrs since i heard his voice. My day started out horrible. Worse is that its the last weekday. I had planned to go out for a movie and dinner with my family tomorrow. Hope he cools down by then. http://th135.photobucket.com/albums/q129/Daphn1995/emotion/th_pc_very_sad.gif

        2. 0
          Anitha1978posted 8 years ago in reply to this

          I thought the thread will be used for the purpose of telling our bad day story. but a few off topic comments and  it can't be used for that anymore. now i feel silly putting up my story there. sigh could not even delete it.

          1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image84
            Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago in reply to this

            Don't feel silly... we can still reroute this thread... If someone has a really crappy bad day...zs

            1. 0
              Anitha1978posted 8 years ago in reply to this

              mmm... lets hope someone has a really bad day lol

  5. Research Analyst profile image79
    Research Analystposted 8 years ago

    Wow, what a story, it sure gets one thinking.

  6. anime_nanet profile image60
    anime_nanetposted 8 years ago

    I think that fish picture is a famous edited foto (aka fake)

    1. 0
      Anitha1978posted 8 years ago in reply to this

      Well if you let your imagination run for a little bit it brings a few giggles right? I dont think even the lightning and the twister picture is a real one too but it is an amazing showcase of nature

  7. Just_Rodney profile image44
    Just_Rodneyposted 8 years ago

    This is soo funny i am Saving this to make a gaint poster for my office, it is to unbelievable.

  8. adrainsean profile image60
    adrainseanposted 8 years ago

    Man i got a  story  similar to this in  my mail box a few days ago......

    Deja VU

  9. crashcromwell profile image81
    crashcromwellposted 8 years ago

    I've had plenty of bad days at work, but none are coming to mind that there is a humorous element, so I'm afraid I would just wind up depressing everyone!

  10. 0
    sandra rinckposted 8 years ago

    I had a bad day once.

    I was at work at a hotel and was training for my new position as desk manager.  Now this one day I decided to take advantage of the hotel pool and me and a couple of friends and a 12 pack of beer down and were enjoying our time.

    at about 9:00 this troublesome lady comes down and gets in the jacuzzi with us.  We are friendly to her, though we do not like her very much.

    After a little while longer I was pretty drunk, but still having fun obeying the laws of the pool.  Some chinese men come down and also hang out in the hot tub. 

    Little did I know I was trying to speak chinese to them (which was my later emberassent).  Then my friends were telling me to shut up, so I did, still laughing like it was the funniest thing in the whole world, and I jump into the pool.

    That lady I was telling you about at first, well she jumped in after me.  Nothing bad seems to be going on.  I get out and get back in the hot tub.

    The manager comes down at 11:00 or so and says we all have to go cause the pool is closed for the night.  We all get out, still no problems.

    After a day in the sun, and some drinking, I retire to one of the rooms for the night.  At about 2:30 or so I get a knock on the door.  I open it and there is two cops standing there. 

    I am still pretty wasted and bewildered as to why they are knocking on my door at 2:30.  They ask me if I have  bottle of whisky.  I says no.  They tell me some lady said you stole her bottle of whisky at the pool.  They ask me to check and make sure, so I do and no, I don't have any whisky.  Next they say, she also said you stole her keys. 

    I look at the floor where I dropped my hotel key and my towel.  I notice, yip I did accidentaly take her key.  I give it back, say sorry and go back to bed. 

    Then I get a call from my boss.  They are blazzin mad at me for something.  They say get you ass down here.  Ok, so I go, still a little buzzed and confused.

    they said Sandy, did you steal that girls bottle of whisky, I says no, why.  Well apperantly this lady said that I personally tried to drown her in the pool, stole her bottle of whisky and her keys and that I was calling her names.

    None of which I can remember.  I tell them they are crazy, I didn't even want to talk to her.  So they check the hotel camera and no, I didn't steal her whisky or do anything of the sort to her, however...

    This lady insisted on it so much that she spent a while screaminig at the top of her lungs, yelling my name to the entire hotel that I tried to kill her and I am a theif and I need to be fired. etc...

    Now, come to find out this lady is totally whacked, she had also acussed many of the people at the hotel of doing her wrong and such, it goes on and on.

    The worst part was, I was demoted.  Just like that!  When I asked why I couldn't have my possition back after it all settled and the alligations were dropped, they said:

    It doesn't matter, she used your name and you are in association with the hotel and you were drinking.  and some other rubbish.

    Anyways the only good thing that came out of it was a deal I inadvertantly stuck with the chinese men at the pool while I was tanked.  Turns out they thought I was funny and decided to buy lots from the hotel and it was credited to me.  smile

    1. 0
      Anitha1978posted 8 years ago in reply to this

      They demoted you even though she was lying? I think a nice long threatening letter from your laywer might have helped but you still got some money in the end. i wonder how you sounded like when you tried to speak chinese. lol

      1. 0
        sandra rinckposted 8 years ago in reply to this

        Probably like Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man.  LOL smile

  11. DJ Funktual profile image85
    DJ Funktualposted 8 years ago

    I thought I had horror stories (and I do) but nothing that prevents me from basic bodily function!

    1. 0
      sandra rinckposted 8 years ago in reply to this

      come on!  It was a pretty tight story. lol

  12. 0
    Poppa Bluesposted 8 years ago

    You're right! That is quite funny!

  13. AEvans profile image72
    AEvansposted 8 years ago

    Now that made my day !!! It had me rolling as the image was impressed into my mind,
    I couldn't imagine that happening , that story brought me to tears!! I do Love my Job!!!

  14. ripplemaker profile image89
    ripplemakerposted 8 years ago

    Hi zsuzsy bee, may I never have a bad jellyfish bad day!!! lol