jump to last post 1-17 of 17 discussions (70 posts)

Offensive comment and reply

  1. wilderness profile image96
    wildernessposted 5 years ago

    Well, I got my first nasty comment today; the question is how to respond.  The comment is on a hub about personal integrity and morality standards going down hill.

    Comment:
    wilderness probably got beat up as a child sure judge everyone but yourself because your perfect F.A.G.E.T   (from a non hubber)

    Possible reply:
    As the internet becomes more and more a part of our lives it is interesting to note that our personal integrity takes a step backwards. We can say things and make statements that have little regard for truth or honesty, recognizing that we can never be caught (although that is not strictly true). It isn't necessary to maintain our integrity and honesty; no one will ever know. Unfortunately, it is but another step down the road to losing what little integrity we might have left every time we do such things; WE know who made the statement, even if no one else does.

    Intentionally offensive statements are a dime a dozen, and few people take them at face value any more. Rather we recognize, as Tusitala Tom comments above, that such comments are far more likely to be a reflection on the life and integrity of the poster than on the target of their venom.


    What's your opinion?  Shall I work it into the hub while taking a (polite) slap at the commenter, or just delete it and ignore it?  Does such a reply add to a hub on integrity and honesty or will leaving such garbage offend readers?  Personally I would get a giggle out seeing such a reply and tip my hat to the author, but not sure everyone else would.

    1. ThomasE profile image80
      ThomasEposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Delete and ignore.

      1. paradigmsearch profile image88
        paradigmsearchposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        +1

      2. relache profile image87
        relacheposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        This

      3. EmpressFelicity profile image84
        EmpressFelicityposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Gets a thumbs up from me. Don't give this a**ehole any more publicity than you already have lol

        1. brandasaur profile image61
          brandasaurposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Another +1 for this smile

      4. GmaGoldie profile image87
        GmaGoldieposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        +1

    2. Hollie Thomas profile image61
      Hollie Thomasposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I agree, delete it. The more attention they get the more likely they'll return with other stupid comments.

    3. Xenonlit profile image60
      Xenonlitposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I agree, too. Delete and ignore.

  2. Uninvited Writer profile image81
    Uninvited Writerposted 5 years ago

    I like that reply smile

  3. mistyhorizon2003 profile image90
    mistyhorizon2003posted 5 years ago

    Do not feed the TROLLS. Delete and ignore smile

  4. Danette Watt profile image88
    Danette Wattposted 5 years ago

    I agree with the others -- delete and ignore. People like that aren't worth the emotional time and energy.

    1. Stacie L profile image86
      Stacie Lposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      delete it and move on

  5. sofs profile image85
    sofsposted 5 years ago

    I believe when you respond to a nasty comment, you lower yourself to that state. You save the person and yourself some embarrassment when you quietly delete the stinging remark. IMHO

  6. wilderness profile image96
    wildernessposted 5 years ago

    UW, you and I seem to be the minority here.  My household members disagree, but of course they share in the offense and want to slap back.

    I don't know - it sure makes a good example of what the hub is saying!

    1. Rochelle Frank profile image89
      Rochelle Frankposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Exactly!  It does make your point, quite well.

      As for them coming back for more attention... I doubt they want to hear the point you are making.
      I don't think you are lowering yourself to thier state because you did not reply in their manner.

      Normally, I would say 'delete and forget' this this may be tthe exception because your reply showed thought and class. Delete and forget if they come back again.

      1. wilderness profile image96
        wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Thanks, Rochelle.  I think that's going to be the plan; leave their comment and my reply, but delete and forget when/if they come back.

        And actually my "reply" was not a reply to them at all; it was a separate comment about the one they left but not directed at the poster.  Except in a round-about not-so-subtle way...

        1. Rochelle Frank profile image89
          Rochelle Frankposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Yes, That's what made it "class", objective and above it all.

  7. WaffleCheese profile image76
    WaffleCheeseposted 5 years ago

    KEEP IT!

    And let other commenters do what they will to them.

    1. Jean Bakula profile image94
      Jean Bakulaposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Hi Wilderness,
      I've gotten some really insulting comments just for Astrology hubs. Much of the hub base is either very religious or self righteous. Or both. If you leave it, you will probably get in a prolonged situation where  the person will go on your other hubs and leave inappropriate messages too. I would ignore, but best wishes no matter what you decide. Not everyone can see reason like you can.

      1. wilderness profile image96
        wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Yes, I've thought of that - the troll may repeatedly hit this hub or move on to others.  Either way, though, I've always got the "delete" button; the "I win" option that is only available to the author and that can't be refuted.  It's even still available for both the comment and my reply and always will be.

        1. ThomasE profile image80
          ThomasEposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Or the troll may get really angry at your comment, and decide to click bomb your adsense.

          1. wilderness profile image96
            wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            It's possible, and I even thought of that.  I doubt, though, that very many of the kind of people that make these comments would understand click bombing.

            Had there been some back and forth, making them mad, maybe.  But this kind of comment, completely out of the blue?  It's likely just someone that wants attention and makes a habit of doing this kind of thing to get it.

  8. psycheskinner profile image80
    psycheskinnerposted 5 years ago

    Trolls are general people with histrionic personalities who adore it when you slap back. They poke you so they can laugh and point with their juvenile friends and you get all annoyed in response.

    I would suggest just denying the comment.  It has no value. Responding to it will make your hub a troll magnet.

    1. wilderness profile image96
      wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Very true, except for one thing - I'm not annoyed.  Just wondering if I can use that silly and offensive comment to improve the hub and make it more valuable to the reader. 

      As is, the comment is worthless but can I make it useful by turning it into an example of what the hub is proposing?

      True, the person and their friends could become annoying by bombing all my hubs with similar garbage, but the time involved in denying them is the price I would pay to make a better hub.  I can't imagine it would last long when none of their comments were ever seen.

      It's all about providing a better experience for the reader, not my own emotional response.  There isn't one, except a certain sadness that people degrade themselves this way.

      1. kirstenblog profile image78
        kirstenblogposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Normally I would say delete and move on but I do think in this case the comment may well add to your hub by illustrating your point so well. I say keep this one comment (and should the poster make rational posts to your reply) but delete any other posts they make. I really think your readers will be a lot more likely to see this comment as a perfect example of what you are talking about and show you to be a person of integrity for allowing the post and responding so reasonably and rationally. This is probably the coolest case of an abusive comment, on a subject talking about the lack of integrity found so easily these days, not even your hub is safe from it! lol

        1. wilderness profile image96
          wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          That's kind of what I'm thinking and hoping for. 

          It wouldn't work anywhere else, but on this hub it makes a perfect point, and one provided by someone other than I! 

          Plus, I have to admit, it tickles my fancy to turn it so neatly against the poster without ever becoming rude myself.  To benefit from the comment instead of becoming upset.  I guess i just have an odd sense of humor. smile

          1. kirstenblog profile image78
            kirstenblogposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Nothing more annoying then someone who stays cool and calm when you are trying to upset them and get a rise out of them lol
            Ain't it fun to be annoying that way? lol

            1. wilderness profile image96
              wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              Me??  Would I ever do such an evil thing??

              Probably.  Sometimes HP is fun just to be a part of and have special abilities like that. lol

      2. Momma Mia profile image79
        Momma Miaposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        wilderness,
           I happen to agree with you!  If we allow others to show their truth, we allow everyone to see it too.  The world deserves to see the untampered truth and to know what is out there ( as if we didn't) but just a reminder that ugly rears its head and to take notice and be aware. To make change ...... we sometimes have to let others find the answers ..... and only can they if they are allowed to express it and possibly be judged for it.  A personal attack on you was not nice......    I bet this "non-hubber"   will not like his just reward.      So glad you take a higher road my friend!  Need more like you around!   KUDO"S to you !!

        1. wilderness profile image96
          wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          You've certainly got that right - I didn't make them look like an idiot.  I may have allowed the commenter to do it, but they accomplished it quite will all by themselves.  I didn't have to add anything at all.

      3. Jlbowden profile image81
        Jlbowdenposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Hello Wilderness:

        I would just delete and ignore the individual. Most likely they are caught up in their own make believe world. And are probably either envy or are jealous of you as a person and writer. And basically wish they had the God given talent that you possess. Take that to the bank, for whatever it's worth.

        Jl

  9. psycheskinner profile image80
    psycheskinnerposted 5 years ago

    If you make an example hub I would suggest making it a new hub, quoting the comment as an anonymous example.

    1. shibashake profile image84
      shibashakeposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      +1

  10. shibashake profile image84
    shibashakeposted 5 years ago

    Delete and move on.

    It is tempting to respond, but in my experience they will just keep coming back and ultimately, it becomes a colossal waste of time.

    Time is precious, and best spent on comments that will actually make a positive difference.

  11. Aficionada profile image92
    Aficionadaposted 5 years ago

    wilderness, I really like your proposed response and I understand the appeal of using the comment as an example.  But the problem that I see is that the poster is juvenile, a troll, someone who actually has not yet even developed personal integrity - so they can't have lost it, since they never had any to begin with.  I honestly don't believe that this particular comment would provide the kind of example that you want for the point you are making.

    I suggest using the response you propose (in your OP) as the basis for another Hub.  You could even link the Hub to an article that I read elsewhere on why we should be required to use real names in comments on the internet (the idea being that a person tends to be less trollish and more mature when they have to give their real name - underscore tends to be).

    I agree that you should delete the comment and move on to another Hub (or do as psycheskinner suggested - use the comment anonymously in the other Hub; but I would say that you should use other comments too, not only this one).

    1. wilderness profile image96
      wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Actually, all of this is making me think of writing a hub about troll behavior.  Maybe we'll see a whole rash of them on HP. smile

      Real names, however, is another question.  For the truly deranged (and they are out there) Aficionada is a lot more difficult to trace down and locate than your real name would be.  Many of us use noms de plume for just that reason, as well as for simple privacy.

      1. Aficionada profile image92
        Aficionadaposted 5 years ago in reply to this


        Yes, agreed, and that is why I have been slow to share my real name here, even though I have done so privately on occasion. 

        The comment that I mentioned had to do with people who leave comments on articles, in forums, etc.  Those noms de plume are even harder to track down than these (ours here) are, and they tend to give the poster a feeling of invisibility and invincibility, which can lead to more bad behavior than would occur otherwise. (Presumably)


        And that wouldn't have been quite so nerve-wracking, if it had not occurred so close to the 2:00 PM Emergency Broadcasting System test!!

  12. sunforged profile image63
    sunforgedposted 5 years ago

    I would have to ask what the acronym FAGET may mean. My curiosity would eat at me, is it a new slang, some type of new meme or technospeak.

    So, I googled it:

    "This hideously misspelled derivation of 'faggot' is primarily used by uneducated rednecks who fail to see the irony of calling someone a derogatory name but having no idea how to say the word."

    after reading that, I would delete and forget.

    1. wilderness profile image96
      wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      I didn't believe you - no one would put that definition out - so I googled it myself.

      It's true!  Urban Dictionary actually defined it, and just that way!  I love it. lol

      1. mom101 profile image58
        mom101posted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Hey, sorry for intruding,  but I have tried replying to a post about the upcoming emergency post and it will not let me post.

        I am getting worried.  The forum, this is just a test. Can anyone else reply?

        1. Aficionada profile image92
          Aficionadaposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          I had a similar problem. It seems to be resolved now.  I was panicking for a few minutes!

  13. Aficionada profile image92
    Aficionadaposted 5 years ago

    I think it was actually a problem with the entire forum, not just with posts.  When I would try to navigate from the list to a specific thread, I would get a "done" message, but with a completely blank screen.  Yikes!!

    1. wilderness profile image96
      wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Yep.  Stats went down for a few minutes as well.  Forums came and went - some showed while some didn't. 

      Seems fixed now, though.

      1. brandasaur profile image61
        brandasaurposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        I thought i got banned. Showed up the sign in button even though im already signed in. when i visited my profile, it is not existing. so i went to Answers portion, it didnt. I checked the forums, i can see everything but the threads werent loading too even the hubs and other profiles. I think they edited something and need to have a quick maintenance.

        1. wilderness profile image96
          wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          Or somebody tripped over the cord and pulled the plug! lol

          I didn't even get that.  Just a blank screen.

          1. mom101 profile image58
            mom101posted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Sorry yall.

            Wilderness, sorry to hear about the abusive comment.

            Just overlook it.

          2. brandasaur profile image61
            brandasaurposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Hahaha! My God Wilderness, im pregnant right now, and your last post just made me laugh >____< big_smile

            1. brandasaur profile image61
              brandasaurposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              The emoticon u used is sooo infectious. Argh.

            2. wilderness profile image96
              wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              Oboy!  Does that mean that there will soon be another member of HP?  An innie or an outie?

              Or do you need to laugh harder? lol  lol  lol  lol  lol

              1. brandasaur profile image61
                brandasaurposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                My tummy's only five months and its a risky pregnancy. Haha. Its hard when u cant laugh out loud. Hahaha. I have to ask my husband to read and check your reply first so i wont be infected in case you'll make a funny reply again! hahaha

                1. wilderness profile image96
                  wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

                  Now that's funny - I don't care who you are.  Have to get hubby to check it first!

                  I'll be good (for now), though.  You just be sure to get the new one on the keyboard ASAP. smile

                  1. pstraubie48 profile image89
                    pstraubie48posted 5 years ago in reply to this

                    ...just ask yourself, what would i do if this had happened in person? if you do not reply, you steal the power the person wants to have over you....sorry it happened

  14. Hollie Thomas profile image61
    Hollie Thomasposted 5 years ago

    Ok, I misread it, I understood it to be that the poster had said from a non-hubber. Which, I thought was weird, because why would a non hubber have to say that. I also believe that the vast majority of hubbers would never behave in that way, but there's a lot of non-writing hubbers here(if you can call them that) I don't get it. Maybe they're just lonely. I still believe you should keep writing about that particular issue, though. Then, ignore the idiots, like you say, there's always a rotten apple.

    1. wilderness profile image96
      wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Oh, lots of reasons to be a non-writing hubber (what an oxymorom).

      Some sign up just to post on the forums - that's what drew me in a year ago.  I had no idea you could make money posting on the net, and had never even joined a forum before.

      Some sign up, look around and write a hub or two, then never come back.  I've got a couple of referrals that way.  It just doesn't work for them, or they find out it isn't a get rich quick thing.

      Or maybe they get married and spouse is jealous of the time.  Could be anything.  We even have a few successful hubbers that won't forum post from their main account - it can draw skimmers and they don't want the attention.

  15. Sally's Trove profile image98
    Sally's Troveposted 5 years ago

    Coming late into this thread...your response could be "Thank you for your comment. smile" and let it go at that. A troll/flamer can go find its meal somewhere else. You don't need to provide the food. Or just delete the comment and forget it. Depends on how you want to posture yourself.

    1. wilderness profile image96
      wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      Now that I can't see.  I'm not about to thank them for a nasty remark.  Delete it yes, but never thank them for it.

      I hate deleting a comment - I've even left some that are there to get a backlink if they make a hub responsive comment - but I would normally delete anything like this in a heartbeat.  I just think I can actually improve the hub by leaving it and using it to prove the hub's point.

      1. Sally's Trove profile image98
        Sally's Troveposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        Perhaps you missed the sarcasm?

  16. Jerrico Usher profile image59
    Jerrico Usherposted 5 years ago

    I use "moderate all comments" because there are those people that are simply rude for no reason and I have a solution for them *Click-Delete* *Delete Permanently*.

    Honestly- don't give it a second thought unless the comment has some merit or information that's useful- even then what I do is republish the comment (since you can't edit it) with the useful info and crediting the name for it- i.e. comment on your own hub including the information you want there and omitting what you don't and I'll even tag "the rest of this comment left was of no value to my readers and only serves to insult them" or something like that .

    If the comment is utterly useless and negative in any way I just remove it- nuff said- most of these trolls comment and leave- but it's up to you not to let their "viral" attack get the better of you. Some people do it just to vent- so let them, it's moderated out.

  17. Jerrico Usher profile image59
    Jerrico Usherposted 5 years ago

    I think when you mark it as spam their IP address is flagged so they can't tag your post again- not sure but I think that's what "mark as spam" does essentially. If you delete it completely it will not block them from leaving more posts- but if you mark just one comment on one hub as spam I believe it will stop that person (IP ADDRESS) from posting on ANY of your hubs...

    1. wilderness profile image96
      wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      That makes sense, and isn't something I'd thought of.  A good thing to remember.

      1. Rochelle Frank profile image89
        Rochelle Frankposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        I hadn't thought of that either, but go with your gut feeling---- and if you get more s--- (spam) from this source, a spam designation sounds like an option.

        1. wilderness profile image96
          wildernessposted 5 years ago in reply to this

          But will HP accept a spam designation when it isn't actually spam?

          I guess we could report these posters and get their ip banned that way.

          1. Rochelle Frank profile image89
            Rochelle Frankposted 5 years ago in reply to this

            Probably-- though spam doesn't necessarily need to have a link...? 

            A good experiment, if it comes up.

            1. Jerrico Usher profile image59
              Jerrico Usherposted 5 years ago in reply to this

              I don't think it's a spam filter for the site but rather for your account specifically, i.e. like in your email box marking something spam just marks that persons IP address and email address but other people can still be spammed by them- it's account based as I believe the spam comment filter is, just a way to give you more control over your comments and whose banned and whose allowed in. I can only speculate but one thing I know is the same IP address hasn't been seen on any of my hubs after they spam or leave a post i don't like. It doesn't have to be spam it's automated if anything, spam is just a control that lets you ban idiots not just spam by definition- it seems to work on my acct, but I can only speculate.

 
working