I have always wondered why is that, in the majority of child custody cases, that the mother seems to get automatic custody of all minor children, be they male or female. I believe that if all things are equal, and the children are agreeable to it, that fathers should be able to raise their sons and mothers raise the daughters. It just seems that young males need the influence of growing up male and females can't impart that as much as a father.
Well here's my opinion I think children need both parents to raise them. You get a lot of things from mom and you get a lot of things from dad. So, I believe the best way to be raised is by both parents even if the parents are divorced if they can at least agree to do the best job they can raising their children together no matter who they live with.
When I think about my own family and mom and dad they were divorced yet they were always there for me. Also it seemed that mom was always telling me to be caefull I could hurt myself and dad was always telling me hey i bet you can climb higher in the tree or run a little faster. But, when I fell out of that tree mom was there to put a bandaid on my knee like only mom can. So I think we need moms to nurture us and protect us and put a bandaid on now and then and dads to push us and dare us to try harder. So I think it takes both no matter who you live with.
Two GOOD-role-model parents is ideal, but the world is full of a lot of fine, strong, accomplished, and kind men who are raised by mothers and/or grandmothers, either because their father died, left, was emotionally absent, or else was just a loser of a human being. It's often mothers, too, who raise sons who know how best to be "a good man" and "a real man" by what they learn from their mothers, even when their poor-excuse-for-a-man father remains in a their lives and the mothers have to find a way to "water down" the influence of such a father.
All things aren't usually equal, though. There's usually one parent who has a better emotional make-up, understanding of child development (in both sexes), understanding of human nature, ability to relate well to children, the most respect for the child's individuality, and ability to form the right kind of bond with a child (or either sex); and there should always be two parents (aren't always) who are willing to do what is best for the child and his overall development and sense of having a normal, whole, childhood as best as possible under the circumstances. If the father is that parent then he ought to have custody of kids of both sexes. If he isn't that parent then he shouldn't have custody of any of the children.
To Lisa: The mother in this case is a woman who would ask her now ex husband, the father of the son, is this the day that you die and make me happy? or would have their son tell his father "I hate you and wish you would die" so this mother has a lot of emotional problems. Yes, I admit that there are some poor excuse for a man fathers but there are just as many sad excuses for being a woman mothers. I am just tired of people assuming that when the fathers leave an abusive relationship and unfortunately, since a woman is female, that the judges think they can raise a male child better than a father.
It would be great if two good role models were available but in the case of where there is a vicious divorce and animosity filled relationship between the parents, I still stand that it should be the father that raises a son.
Are there step parents involved in this situation or is it still the original parents? I agree that if the original parents can be civil to each other especially in front of the children, that is great. However, you must do what is best for the child, not just your ego.
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