jump to last post 1-27 of 27 discussions (73 posts)

Sarcasm ONLY.

  1. Eric Newland profile image61
    Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago

    Oh yeah. This'll be a great thread.

    1. profile image0
      Brenda Durhamposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Oh suuuuurre. roll

      haha wink


      (psst---it can't help but be better than some of the rudely sarcastic ones that've popped up). 
      I like your sense of humor Eric.

    2. Reality Bytes profile image95
      Reality Bytesposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Great idea for a thread......NOT!  lol

    3. Jason Marovich profile image89
      Jason Marovichposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      This was an excellent idea.

    4. Jason Marovich profile image89
      Jason Marovichposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      My traffic is edging up toward 10k views in the past 24 hours as we head into the internet-buzzing weekend.

      1. Eric Newland profile image61
        Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

        Yes, I was just taking to my limo driver the other day about doing a hub on my massive success. He laughed jovially and suggested that I should perhaps complete my collection of every Cadillac ever built to give the article extra punch.

        Well, sure, I said, as soon as Amazon pays me all that they owe me in back commission. I've told them if they can't afford it I'll be happy to settle for the controlling share of the company.

        We laughed all the way to my Olympic-sized champagne pool.

        1. couturepopcafe profile image61
          couturepopcafeposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          Oh, what a cute story. Reminds me of when I invented the 'shopping cart' feature for the then newly exploding world of e-commerce. The children were gathered around the hearth waiting to hear about how my 'day at the office' went. Chuckle. Day at the office. Nothing but lattes and buckets of shrimp these days.

          Anyway. I was telling them that most people actually had to buy their own clothes and food and necessities themselves. (How do you explain to a 5 yr. old that not every child has a Miss Penelope to fend for them?)

          So, as the story unfolded, my little Genevieve said, "Mommy, when you say shopping cart, do you mean like the homeless people we see on the way to the airport when we go to Caan?" Isn't that adorable? The homeless people. That one has certainly learned philanthrophy.

          "Yes, my little darling." Now, all those busy, busy people who don't have time to buy clothes and milk can simply go on their computers and plunk an item into a virtual shopping cart. It's like having their own Miss Penelope."

          Well, the children and I laughed and laughed and then Miss Penelope tucked them in while John and I sat in the aviary and discussed the vines.

          Tah. Must run. Kiss, kiss.

          1. dagny roth profile image84
            dagny rothposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            Bahahahahaha....nice one!
            Although you certainly shouldn't poke fun at those of us who are serious freelancers.  One should always be greatful...if even for a few cents.  Why just yesterday I allowed MY daughter (Penelope less) to purchase a lollipop.  Luckily my writing profits allowed for the splurge.  (And luckily she had a little extra from her piggy bank to cover me) whew!  The things I am greatful for these days.

            1. Eric Newland profile image61
              Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              You underestimate the sheer amount of monetary demand for anecdotes about baby poop written with zero keyword research.

              1. Eric Newland profile image61
                Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                The anecdotes were written with zero keyword research, not the baby poop.

                1. dagny roth profile image84
                  dagny rothposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                  Really?  I just added baby poop to my ebay capsule.  Can you believe you can get it used?!!

                  1. Eric Newland profile image61
                    Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                    Better than the new stuff, really. It's much better after it's broken in a bit.

        2. Jason Marovich profile image89
          Jason Marovichposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          Those Amazon deadbeats.

          Freelance writing might pay well, but the stuff we have to put up with when we could be out walking our poodles...  Nothing's ever easy, I swear.

          1. Eric Newland profile image61
            Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            As I said to them (and to Google, when I recently met with them to discuss ways to push HubPages' rankings even higher with the next Panda update), if you didn't want people to get rich off your affiliate program you shouldn't have created a program so effective that it practically compels the reader to click.

            And don't even get me started on eBay.

            1. Jason Marovich profile image89
              Jason Marovichposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              Sarcasm time-out:  LOL.

            2. couturepopcafe profile image61
              couturepopcafeposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              Jolly good time.

    5. couturepopcafe profile image61
      couturepopcafeposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Whatever, dude.

      1. Pearldiver profile image87
        Pearldiverposted 4 years ago in reply to this

        Yeah... yeah.... yeah!

        So that's a pretty smooth underarm... smile

        But what sort of razor are you using for those lips?  tongue smile

  2. Mark Ewbie profile image81
    Mark Ewbieposted 4 years ago

    It doesn't get any better than this.

    1. Eric Newland profile image61
      Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Your sarcasm is of the highest quality.

      1. Mark Ewbie profile image81
        Mark Ewbieposted 4 years ago in reply to this

        I can't thank you enough for that Eric, it has made a great day even better.

        1. Eric Newland profile image61
          Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          I also am having a great day. I awoke feeling well rested, and I'm just sorry it's Friday and that I don't have to go to work tomorrow.

          1. Mark Ewbie profile image81
            Mark Ewbieposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            Thankfully your responses have...

            Actually.

            I didn't think it was possible to run out of sarcasm.

            1. Eric Newland profile image61
              Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              (not sarcastic) I think we stacked the meta-sarcasm too high and it fell over. sad

              (sarcastic) I'm sure things will improve.

              1. Mark Ewbie profile image81
                Mark Ewbieposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                Yep.  There's only one way this can go now.

                edit: Two ways.

                1. profile image0
                  kimberlyslyricsposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                  lol  sorry.

  3. lobobrandon profile image83
    lobobrandonposted 4 years ago

    Wow this is amazing! Never seen such great stuff before wink cool

  4. Melindas Mind profile image83
    Melindas Mindposted 4 years ago

    Whatever.

  5. profile image0
    kimberlyslyricsposted 4 years ago

    Seriously?

    1. Eric Newland profile image61
      Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Deadly so.

      1. couturepopcafe profile image61
        couturepopcafeposted 4 years ago in reply to this

        I think a tear has escaped my well lashed eye.

  6. 2uesday profile image89
    2uesdayposted 4 years ago

    I had to remove some of my pages because the amount of traffic they had been getting lately was causing the site to crash. wink

    1. couturepopcafe profile image61
      couturepopcafeposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      I hear you. I talked to my buddy, Rush, today and he told me what to do. I don't sweat the small stuff though. When I pick up my magamillions tonight, I'll turn HP back over to the little people.

  7. Rochelle Frank profile image88
    Rochelle Frankposted 4 years ago

    I don't do sarcasm very well, but I'm participating in the thread to raise my hubscore, hubkarma, hubberscore, accolades, follower count, and earnings. I'm sure it will help.

    1. Eric Newland profile image61
      Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      I'm sure it will get you Hub of the Day for every single one of your hubs in a row. Four solid months, all Rochelle, all the time. Congratulations in advance.

    2. Pearldiver profile image87
      Pearldiverposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      OMG.... Had you noticed that your Owl had Expired Rochelle? yikes

  8. Kangaroo_Jase profile image83
    Kangaroo_Jaseposted 4 years ago

    Seriously, i really dont know how all you people whom joined HubPages after me survived this site based only on my extremely good looks alone...

    1. Pearldiver profile image87
      Pearldiverposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      That answer is easy... Clearly you were too busy with your nasal pruning to notice it was posted on the same day! roll

      I believe a Forum Troll described the relationship she had had with you Jase, quote: "as being something akin to jumping a joey while the roo was looking the other way!" yikes

      I have absolutely no idea what that meant... Just saying... you know... not sarcastically or meant to hurt your feelings! big_smile  tongue

      1. Kangaroo_Jase profile image83
        Kangaroo_Jaseposted 4 years ago in reply to this

        PD,
        I believe you just described the 'Wombat Principle' said Forum troll had had with me in terms of that relationship smile

        1. Pearldiver profile image87
          Pearldiverposted 4 years ago in reply to this

          I've heard of that Jase.... smile

          So I bet you feel really violated... sad

          Was it your Joey or your Pouch that got stretched mate? yikes

          1. Kangaroo_Jase profile image83
            Kangaroo_Jaseposted 4 years ago in reply to this

            Lets just say it is no longer as big as a Kiwi Fruit wink

            1. Pearldiver profile image87
              Pearldiverposted 4 years ago in reply to this

              ONO... so it was your poor little Joey then?  yikes

              That will teach you for feeding the Trolls Jase! big_smile

              Take Care Digger!

              1. Kangaroo_Jase profile image83
                Kangaroo_Jaseposted 4 years ago in reply to this

                roflmao

  9. SomewayOuttaHere profile image61
    SomewayOuttaHereposted 4 years ago

    i'm terrible at being sarcastic...it's just not in me...so i'll just read the posts...i know, i know, boring young me......

  10. Jonathan Janco profile image81
    Jonathan Jancoposted 4 years ago

    This really is a fantastic thread Eric. Did you create this all by yourself, or did you hire a couple of fouryrolds to help you?

    1. Pearldiver profile image87
      Pearldiverposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Why do they Dress YOU in Pink? yikes

      1. Jonathan Janco profile image81
        Jonathan Jancoposted 4 years ago in reply to this

        It's a soft focus created on the lens of the camera due to the light I emitted as a child.
        wink

  11. Randy Godwin profile image92
    Randy Godwinposted 4 years ago

    You guys are great!  smile


                                           http://s1.hubimg.com/u/6186572.jpg

  12. Shadesbreath profile image89
    Shadesbreathposted 4 years ago

    You guys are hilarious.

    1. Kangaroo_Jase profile image83
      Kangaroo_Jaseposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Yes, still awaiting some of the gals to throw out some babies.....I mean funnies.

  13. pedrog profile image59
    pedrogposted 4 years ago

    I think this thread should be about religion, there are few threads about this issue on this forum!

    1. Shadesbreath profile image89
      Shadesbreathposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Genius idea.

    2. Eric Newland profile image61
      Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Ditto politics. I've found that it's extremely difficult to rouse people because everyone is so objective. The right-wingers refuse to believe that Obama is Hitler and Stalin combined, and the left-wingers refuse to believe that the Tea Party and the Jews are plotting together to take over the world! Don't people have imaginations anymore?

  14. Eric Newland profile image61
    Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago

    Since I became a father I sometimes fear that I am getting too much sleep.

    1. couturepopcafe profile image61
      couturepopcafeposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      If I knew having kids was going to be so much fun, I could've saved a lot of money on drugs.

  15. Eric Newland profile image61
    Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago

    Since it's April Fool's Day, every post must now be completely literal. You might think this means you can't be sarcastic, but you would be wrong. It's meta-sarcasm.

  16. Keith Worth profile image60
    Keith Worthposted 4 years ago

    This is the only thread I've found worth posting in.

  17. ytsenoh profile image91
    ytsenohposted 4 years ago

    My dad died on April Fool's day.  I think he did it on purpose.  Do you really have a limo driver?  If so, why aren't you running for President?  You could make the world laugh and Ewbie could draw your campaign slogans.

  18. dagny roth profile image84
    dagny rothposted 4 years ago

    thought I would troll for the lamest thread I could find.  Just wanted you to know you were in my thoughts today.

  19. nonslick50 profile image79
    nonslick50posted 4 years ago

    Interesting.

  20. paradigmsearch profile image89
    paradigmsearchposted 4 years ago

    http://media-cache.pinterest.com/upload/129408189262729266_Z5Rxkhhd.jpg

    1. Rosie2010 profile image84
      Rosie2010posted 4 years ago in reply to this

      lol

  21. jennzie profile image84
    jennzieposted 4 years ago

    I'm so glad I get to go to work tomorrow. Nothing better than working on a Sunday (or any day of the week really). big_smile

  22. tobey100 profile image60
    tobey100posted 4 years ago

    My favorite forum topic, hands down!

    1. Eric Newland profile image61
      Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      Wait...

  23. profile image0
    donnaMhicksposted 4 years ago

    Can we post this topic on Facebook so I can "unlike" it?

    1. Eric Newland profile image61
      Eric Newlandposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      That sounds like a great idea.

      1. Jesus was a hippy profile image60
        Jesus was a hippyposted 4 years ago in reply to this

        So does your mum

    2. Jason Marovich profile image89
      Jason Marovichposted 4 years ago in reply to this

      I don't know, can we even post HP forums on Facebook?  If so, we can post it.  I'm sure everyone that reads this is at least trying to post it on Facebook, trending topic that it is.

  24. Xenonlit profile image61
    Xenonlitposted 4 years ago

    Yeah, this idea is so great that I might take tomorrow off and read all of this forum post! But ooops...I have a life, so I guess I won't be able to. Soooo Sorry. I'm with you in spirit, though!

  25. profile image0
    markbennisposted 4 years ago

    Naah!  She will be back to read it from start to finish and in the flesh too.  wink

  26. By His Way profile image61
    By His Wayposted 4 years ago

    Mindless therapy...aahhhhh

  27. By His Way profile image61
    By His Wayposted 4 years ago

    http://www.uniqueframesanddecor.com/shop/images/products/preview/xl1717.jpg

 
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