A newlywed couple buys a fixer-upper for their first house. About a week after they move in, the wife notices that there is a leak under the kitchen sink.
"Honey," she asks, "the sink is leaking--can you fix it please?"
Her husband snorts, "What do I look like? Mr. Plumber? Call someone and take care of it!"
A few more weeks go by, and it starts to rain, and there is a leak in the roof. Again, the wife asks her husband to place a patch, and gets a similar retort, "What do I look like? Mr. Handyman?"
The following week, her car won't start, and she asks her husband if he can charge the battery. "What do I look like? Mr. Goodwrench?" He snarls.
The wife sighs, calls a neighborhood handyman, and gets all the problems taken care of. She lets her husband know everything is all fixed, whereupon he grumbles, "Great! How much did it cost me?"
"Oh, nothing at all, dear," says the wife. "The nice man said I could pay him by either baking him a cake or sleeping with him."
"So--what kind of cake did you bake him?" Husband asks.
To which his wife retorts, "What do I look like? Betty Crocker?"
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