Hi, would anyone be able to give me some feedback please?

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   Ethan Greenposted 11 years ago

   Hi
   
   I've been busy writing my first 3 hubs this last week. I wrote 2 without doing a huge amount of research, but then read lot's of hubs on how to make a good hub, and also read the learning center's advice on creating a stellar hub, and tried to do what I could. I'd be very grateful if anyone could have a look at this rather lengthy hub and give me some feedback.
   
   I'd especially like to know the following:
   
   Is it too long at 2,600 words?
   Are there too many different capsules?
   Is my profile adequate?
   
   And of course any other pieces of advice would be fantastic!
   
   Many thanks in advance:-)
   
   Ethan
   
   http://ethangreen.hubpages.com/hub/How- … t-insomnia

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      IzzyMposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I apologise for not reading your hub in detail, but at first glance your hub is exceptionally well laid out, comprehensive, easily understood and by the looks of it, will become a must-read article on the problem of getting to sleep.
      
      The jury is still out on whether or not it is a good idea to include a load of external links, but the way you have laid your hub out with those links certainly has got to help it become a resource.
      
      I liked the table of contents at the start, but you may be unaware that there is way to turn that table into live links to take the reader directly to that section of the hub.
      
      One of the greatest hubbers on here wrote an explanatory hub about it - http://darkside.hubpages.com/hub/tableofcontents which you may find useful

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   Sue Adamsposted 11 years ago

   Your Hub is fine Ethan. It is well written and has a lot of useful information for insomniacs. A few layout issues might improve it for you like:
   1. Leave the first capsule as text, long enough (about between 8/10 lines) to give room for an advert at the very top of the page. That means moving the picture lower down.
   2. Further down, you have a lot of continuous text which could be broken up into smaller sections. Maybe alternate text paragraphs / videos? That may mean using more separate text capsules in between the videos, ads or pictures.
   3. Oh, and another small detail: Headings usually have all words starting with a capital letter.
   Generally think of a Hub more like a well laid out magazine article rather than a book of pure prose.

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   Ethan Greenposted 11 years ago

   IzzyM - thank you very much for your response. It's great that you got back to me so quickly! Thanks for the advice and for the link also:-)
   
   Ethan

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   Ethan Greenposted 11 years ago

   Sue Adams - thank you also for getting back to me so quickly. I really appreciate you taking the time to do this, and thanks for the great advice:-)
   
   Ethan

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   rebekahELLEposted 11 years ago

   I think it looks super. It looks like you're a fast learner. I actually like the images at the top and the table of contents visible when first landing on the page.
   Viewers will see the ads soon enough. Ads are also above the heading for signed out visitors, which we can't see when we're signed in.
   
   The hub content is helpful and you've given helpful tips and the videos are nice.
   You could move one up and slide it to the right with a short tutorial message as the capsule heading. Or it's fine like it is as I'm sure you want to follow your table of contents. Izzy supplied a very helpful link.
   
   Great work and welcome to HP! Enjoy.

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      Ethan Greenposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hi rebekahELLE,
      
      Thank you for your advice, and your compliments. Much appreciated! It's great to get some positive feedback as well as all the great suggestions people have given me so far.
      Ethan

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   Arlene V. Pomaposted 11 years ago

   Don't begin a Hub with an explanation of what's going to be covered in your writing.  Whether you are a beginner or an experienced writer, it doesn't help to do this.  Yet, I see it all the time when it comes to online work.  Write a Hub as well as you can, and allow the reader to find information.  As a writer, avoid telling them what you have up front.  This is your writing, and not a sales job of why I, as your reader, need to read your work.  If your Hub interests them, they will continue to read.  If you are a skilled writer, you will never have to explain your work.
   
   Have you ever tried "hooking" your readers?  Use a hook that will grab their attention.  A hook can be a fact, an anecdote, a question or anything brief that will make them want them to read more.  It can be one sentence, a few lines or a paragraph.  Place this information at the very beginning of your article.
   
   When you are telling a reader up front what is in the article, you have given away everything.  And there is a chance that they won't want to read the rest of your article.  Writing is about showing--not telling.  Let your readers discover what you've got to offer, and let them do it on their own.

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      Ethan Greenposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for taking the time to give me this advice Arlene. I will have a think about what you've said for sure:-)
      Ethan

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