HubNnuggets III, The Search for Hank

Cue Star Trek Theme Music....

HubNuggets...the Final Frontier.

These are the continuing voyages of the Starship Hubertise. Her ongoing mission...to explore strange new writing, to seek out new HubNuggets and Wannabes...to boldly go where no Hubber has gone before.

*Cue music swell and fade*

HUBNUGGETS III: THE SEARCH FOR HANK

Captain's Log, Stardate 0507.2010

The unimaginable has happened. Commander PI-Sci has picked up a recorded distress signal from Ensign Hank, who disappeared on our last voyage in the Caribbean.

Unfortunately, Hank was in charge of keeping our storehouse of fresh HubNugget entries safe. It would seem that unsavory characters have kidnapped our drunken mascot and stolen the hubs, too! Do those who hold Hank and the nuggets intend to use our Wannabe offerings for evil purposes? We must assume so.

As yet, we do not know how some villainous scoundrels were able to find and capture our zany yet lovable Ensign. From the bridge, I stand and wonder, Is the signal we're receiving actually a warning of impending danger? The crew and I hope for the best but fear the worst as we prepare to provide rescue. Will there be any Wannabe lists to vote on this week?

"Commander Evilpants, patch me through to HubFleet Command, immediately! Tell them it's urgent!"

"Who, me?"

"Commander, stop being modest. You know very well that those antlers work as a super antenna. We can pick up signals from as far away as the HP Forum Nebula on those things."

"Oh. Well then, call for you on line two. And check that big screen in front of you, there should be a picture coming on there any second."

*Fade to commercial*

Do You Dream of Appearing in Our Next HubNuggets Space Sequel?

Well, if you've been a Hubber for ninety days or less, you qualify to be considered as a potential Wannabe, as long as you meet the following criteria:

  • You have a Hub Score of 75 or higher
  • Your hub has been published within seven weeks from date of current contest
  • Your topic and content fit into one of the featured topics
  • The hub has a score of 55 or higher
  • Your hub has at least 500 words (prefer 800) and at least one photo or video

That's it. Easy, right? Sure it is, just write an excellent, interesting hub and you stand a great chance of appearing in one of our HubNugget Space Sequels. Your hub will get to meet the team and take a ride on the HSS Hubertise, too. Just think how exciting that will be for your hub!

Now, if you're not already a hubber, no problem. Just click on this sentence to go to the sign up screen and get your own HubPages account. Then, just start hubbing (writing).

Don't delay, make your dream a reality! Hub well, hub often and maybe we'll see you here next week!

*End commercial*

Admiral Jason on graduation day at the academy
Admiral Jason on graduation day at the academy
Commander Maddie after her new hairdo
Commander Maddie after her new hairdo
Stock HubFleet photo of Captain Shirley Anderson
Stock HubFleet photo of Captain Shirley Anderson

Captain Shirley Alerts HP HQ

"Admiral Jason, I need to speak to you on a matter of the utmost importance! Ensign Hank has been abducted. We received a distress call a few minutes ago."

"Uh-huh but how are the nuggets? You've got them on board, right?"

"Welllll, not exactly. Hank was in charge of guarding the Wannabe lists while we were fighting off pirates in the Caribbean."

"This is no good! You must rescue those HubNugget entries, right away! Do whatever you must Captain but bring back those hubs in one piece. NOW! There's no time to lose, those things have a shelf life, you know."

"Aye-aye, Admiral"

"Oh, Captain Shirley?"

"Yes, Commander Maddie?"

"Umm, does anyone know how Hank is?"

*Captain Shirley and Admiral Jason answer in unison*

"Who?"

"You know, the missing Ensign whose life may be in danger?"

"He'll be in a lot more peril if those nuggets aren't returned safely, forthwith."

* Some throat cleaning and awkward silence*

"Well, okay then. Thanks for your help, Admiral. Hubertise out."

B.T. 'Radar' Evilpants

Commander Evilpants can alter his antlers at will in an emergency! He doesn't know it but he's holding Ensign Hank's katra
Commander Evilpants can alter his antlers at will in an emergency! He doesn't know it but he's holding Ensign Hank's katra

Warp Speed 7, Mr. Evilpants!

"Right away, Captain! By the way, which direction do you want me point the ship in?"

"Straight ahead, Commander Evilpants. Officer PI-Sci (or is it Sci-PI?) has tracked Ensign Hank's signal to the lower quadrant of the Hoochi-Koochi galaxy. Seems our platypus is trapped in a city of pubs, strip joints and games of chance. Those fiends that stole him obviously intend to keep him distracted from his duty as protector of the nuggets."

"Hmmmm..."

"Mr. Evilpants, are you drooling?"

Science Officer PI-Sci (or is it Sci-PI?)

Sleek, sexy and sensible, Office PI-Sci is fast and efficient at the console
Sleek, sexy and sensible, Office PI-Sci is fast and efficient at the console

Thank Heavens for Sensible Officer Sci-PI (or is it PI-Sci?)

"Good work on locating the source of Ensign Hank's signal, Commander Sci-PI! Time is of the essence in tracking down those nuggets he's been entrusted with."

"Thanks, Captain. As we get closer to Hoochie-Koochie, I should be able to get some better co-ordinates and maybe even pinpoint Hank's exact location."

"Marvelous! I'll inform the Admiral of our progress, I'm sure he'll be impressed with your skills, Sci-PI. You might just get a citation out of this calamity."

"Aw, shucks. That'd be great Captain but I think Commander Evilpants deserves a little recognition, too. It's not easy for him to contort his antlers like that."

"Maybe when he comes out of his daydream of being with his buddy, Hank."

Chief of Security, Zsuzsy Bee

When not whipping up a quilt or cooking a gourmet meal, Officer Bee is engaging in auditory surveilance
When not whipping up a quilt or cooking a gourmet meal, Officer Bee is engaging in auditory surveilance

Is It Klingon or Is It Memorex?

"Chief Security Officer Bee, I'd like you to study these messages that Commander Sci-PI has been picking up. They sound Klingon to me. We suspect the signals are coming from the area where Ensign Hank and the nuggets are being held."

"Right away, Captain! I'll be able to let you know in just a few minutes. Thank Heavens I took that Klingon language course on my vacation.

"Very good, Officer Bee. Let me know"

Chief Historian and Tactical Officer RedElf

Officer RedElf uses all the weaponry at her command to secure and retrieve the nuggets
Officer RedElf uses all the weaponry at her command to secure and retrieve the nuggets

Things Get Tense

"Captain, Officer Sci-Pi has pinpointed Ensign Hank's co-ordinates from the new signals coming in on Commander Evilpants' antlers. Officer Bee has determined that the strange language is indeed Klingon and we now know that Hank is being held on the Hoochie-Koochie strip. His location keeps moving but it stays within a four block radius."

"Full speed ahead, Officer RedElf. We must reach those nuggets in time for this week's hub!"

"Oh, I can do better than that, Captain. I'll blast the area with those new slime bombs we got in last week. Those villains won't be able move after getting hit with those babies."

"Fine, just don't hurt the nuggets."

"Aye-aye, Captain!"

Lt. Commander Ripplemaker

Lt. Commander Ripplemaker is our hero! She found our precious nuggets
Lt. Commander Ripplemaker is our hero! She found our precious nuggets

Lt. Commander Ripplemaker Saves the Day

"Wait! Wait! I've found them!"

"Found who? Found what?"

"Ensign Hank and the nuggets! They were down in the wine cellar, behind a barrel of Merlot."

"Excellent work, Lt. Commander Ripplemaker. Just in time, too. The hub is about to be published."

Captain's Log Supplemental

The HubNuggets team showed a valiant effort in their rescue attempt of our precious nugget cargo.

"What's that Commander Evilpants? Oh yes, and Ensign Hank."

Our officers determined that the signals we were receiving came from the watch that the Ensign traded for a keg of ale while on brief visit to Hoochie-Koochie. Apparently, while the rest of us were dodging pirate foils, Hank slipped away for a bit of fun.

Thankfully, every one of our nuggets is safe, sound, in tact and appear in our Wannabe listings below. What will happen to Ensign Hank as a result of his little AWOL adventure? HP HQ will handle that issue.

Which one of this week's Sports & Recreation nominees is your favorite?

  • 15% 10 Tips To Survive A Bear Attack
  • 64% How Reggie Miller Saved Indianapolis
  • 5% 10 Paintball Games You Have To Play
  • 7% Interior Features to Look for in an RV
  • 0% Outdoor Clothing
  • 8% Traveling Cheap in Bocas Del Toro, Panama: It's Better Than Tahiti!
59 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

Which one of this week's Travel & Places nominees is your favorite?

  • 11% Fishing on the Piers of the OBX aka Outer Banks of NC the basics
  • 42% Hidden London landmarks you've probably never visited
  • 4% The Scottish Malt Whisky Trail
  • 2% Habitat for Humanity trip to Malawi, April 9-22, 2010
  • 31% American Dialects: I Speak American, How About You?
  • 9% Discover Canada one Adventure at a Time
45 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

Which one of this week's Games, Toys, & Hobbies nominees is your favorite?

  • 23% An Introduction to Yu-Gi-Oh! Trading Card Game: Monsters
  • 15% Answer to Jane: My Favourite Antique is.......
  • 8% Architectural Antique Salvage
  • 15% The Making of Teddy Bears
  • 19% US Postage Stamps: 1933
  • 19% 1956 Topps Baseball Cards
26 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

Thanks for Flying Hubertise!

Thanks for supporting our Wannabes by reading and voting. I know they appreciate it a lot!

If you're one of our beloved Wannabes yourself, don't forget to promote your nominated hub on Facebook, Digg, StumbleUpon, your blog, website or even by word of mouth to all your friends and neighbours. People don't have to be a member of HubPages to vote, they just have to come to this page, click the little circle beside their favourite from each category then click the Vote button. That's it, easy.

Hope you enjoyed spending a little time with the HubNuggets crew. Join us next week, when Commander B.T. Evilpants will take us on another exciting space adventure aboard the HSS Hubertise.

Captain Shirley out.

More by this Author


Comments 32 comments

Enelle Lamb profile image

Enelle Lamb 6 years ago from Canada's 'California'

Done and voted :) great hub Shirley, or should I say, great hub Captain Shirley...


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

Why thank-you, Enelle!

Don't worry, I'm not formal, you can call me, Cap'n. :-)


RedElf profile image

RedElf 6 years ago from Canada

Tactical Officer RedElf reporting, Cap'n. I'm holding the slimeballs in reserve for our next mission - the weapons slimeballs, not the slimeballs who led Hank astray - oops, I mean "who kidnapped our plucky Ensign Hank". Love the new "do", by the way.


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

Thanks, Officer RedElf. Glad you like my new hairstyle...or did you mean Commander Maddie's? They're both very flattering, I think.

Sorry to disappoint you re those slimeballs. I know you were looking forward to trying them out. Maybe next time!


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 6 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Cap'n, I would like to request a set of earmuffs just like Commander Maddie. Please.. in orange...

RedElf how about we do some slimeball target shooting on the 'Rec-Deck'?

Who'll clean up the mess? you ask... Hank of course he's in the baaaad books so we'll have the upper hands and we can make him do anything (hahaha it's always bad when you do something stupid but it's worse when you get caught doing something stupid)

Great hubs ones again, hubnuggeteers, congrats on being selected wannabes and good luck.

Read and voted.


jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 6 years ago from Bristol England

The decision gets harder and harder, great hubs. Voted and rated up


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

Your a marvel with writing all this. Thank you for the joy reading it and have a good giggle.


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

Officer Bee, I'm sure we can arrange to have large, orange donuts on either side of your head for that Commander Maddie look. I'm sure the colour and style will be very striking. Stay away from B.T. though, he hasn't had a butter tart in a long time and he may dive for the sugar fix.

RedElf, don't forget to take your video camera along to the Rec Deck when you and Zsuzsy go target shooting with the slimeballs. I'd love to see that bad-breathed platypus try to clean up slime. It'll be great fun to show on movie night.

Yes JayJay, it's our job to make it difficult by choosing the best we can find. :) Thanks for voting and rating!

HH, hello there and thank-you. Glad you enjoyed it, hope you remembered to vote.


humagaia profile image

humagaia 6 years ago from United Kingdom

Thanks for the nomination whoever made it. I hope I fulfill the promise that the nominator saw in my writing. I'm here for the long term but appreciation in the early stages of developing a Hub presence obviously helps. It also hones ones mind down to how to develop a strategy to promote ones Hubs. I looked for other Hubtivity to do with HubNuggets to make sure that my stategy was unique. I think I have managed it for the outside backlinks but I am sure all my ideas for inside backlinks have been utilised before.

Love the startrek serial - how do you run your family life when you are 'in character'?


Joni Douglas profile image

Joni Douglas 6 years ago

Love the Star Trek theme! Thanks for the nomination. Sure do appreciate the encouragement. The voting is difficult, they are all such good hubs. And the 'dos' are out of this world.


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Wow, amazing our adventures! I'm glad to have been able to help, Captain Shirley. I've been moving about and have been sending hub announcements as fast as I can.


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

Humagaia, congratulations on your nomination and good for you devising promotion strategies to increase your percentage of votes!

Re family life while in character, my kids are grown and gone, so I only have to worry about my computer and a plant, both of which follow orders pretty well when I issue them. :-)

Good luck in the contest, Humagaia!


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

Joni, congrat to you for making the Wannabe list! Glad you like the theme and the team's new look. Think we needed a little something new for spring.

Good luck this week, Joni!

Hi, Angel Michelle! You are doing a wonderful job, no worries. Besides, you've been very busy celebrating your birthday. ;)


Crazdwriter 6 years ago

Well done hubnuggeters. All of you hubs were great. I have voted hehehe

And Shirley great intro!


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

Thanks for voting, Crazdwriter and for the compliment. :-)


Joshua Kell profile image

Joshua Kell 6 years ago from Arizona

Sooper coool!


B.T. Evilpants profile image

B.T. Evilpants 6 years ago from Hell, MI

These Wannabes just keep getting better, but I managed to pick my 3 faves!

I don't think we'll need to worry about Hank anymore. As soon as he was back aboard the Hubbertise I took the liberty of tying a cowbell around his neck. He's also being guarded by the Gorn, so I don't think he'll be getting into any trouble.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 6 years ago from North America

But also get an Orion girl that knows CPR on board - that will both keep Hank in place and relieve Skipper.


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

Thanks, Joshua!

Thanks for voting, BT. More than that, THANK-YOU for getting Ensign Hank under control. I hope HQ will tighten up their recruiting requirements in future. I've wondered if Hank didn't sign up to escape someone or something. This keeps up, I'll be the one running away. :)

Patty, I appreciate that helpful suggestion!


wordscribe41 6 years ago

He he, Shirley, creative hub you have here. Voted, as always. Thanks for highlighting these fabulous new hubbers!


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

voted, Congrats everyone, Maita


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

Thank-you, WS! For both the compliment and voting.

Hi, Maita. Thanks for voting!


Money Glitch profile image

Money Glitch 6 years ago from Texas

Hi Shirley Cute picture of the team with a nice selection of hubs to read. Congrats to everyone!


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

Hi, Shirley! Just voted...How much time is left?


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

Thanks, Money Glitch.

Hi, Dohn! Time is up, actually. The polls are now closed. :)


Starfishfelix profile image

Starfishfelix 6 years ago from California, United States

Thanks for the nomination, visits and comments! :)


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

You're very welcome, Starfishfelix!


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 6 years ago from North Carolina

Bummer! Missed the vote, but loved the article. What fun!


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

Sorry you missed the chance to vote, Denise. Don't worry, we have a new batch of HubNuggets every week, so you'll have lots of opportunities to vote.

Glad you enjoyed the hub, though. :)


TheMMAZone profile image

TheMMAZone 6 years ago from Kansas

OH WOW what a great hub Shirley. I wonder if there will ever be another classic like this.. Great job of organizing all the ideas and information you have in this hub. I find that to be one of the hardest things about writing hubs.


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada Author

Thanks, MMAZone! You're right, organizing ideas and info can get tricky.


thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 4 years ago from West Virginia

Votes up and A,I. Shirley and a great read it was. You are an amazing writer and great story teller. I look forward to reading more of your work. Take care.

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