"Why Men Or Women Do Not Marry When The Woman Gets Pregnant?"

Why Men Or Women Do Not Marry When The Woman Gets Pregnant?

Why Men Or Women Do Not Marry When The Woman Gets Pregnant?

In today's society people are going to have babies. Frankly, I believe that a woman should have an abortion, ONLY where she was raped, or the pregnancy threatens the mothers life, or the baby is deformed or the baby will have some EXTREME physical or mental limitations.

Since I have said all of that I thought this would be an interesting hub to write based on this topic, "Why Men Or Women Do Not Marry When The Woman Gets Pregnant?"

There are so many reasons and circumstances that affect both the man and woman, when the woman becomes pregnant.

Here are just some of the reasons listed below pertinent to: "Why Men Or Women Do Not Marry When The Woman Gets Pregnant?"

*There are men who reject the thought that the child his woman is carrying, is their child

**NOTE** A lot of men and women find themselves in situations where they question who is the mother or the father of the child or the baby. I often hear men talking about they did not wear a condom, or the man, nor the woman, did not use any contraception. If you are not intending on being a part of that person's life, especially the child's, then you should not be having unprotected sex!!! No questions or excuses.

NOTE****I also can't leave the women out, who may have multiple partners that she is having unprotected sex with as well. DO NOT HAVE Unprotected SEX with multiple partners, because if you become pregnant, you will not know who the father is of your child, unless you have a paternity or DNA test performed, and those are very expensive.

*The woman who is pregnant, may not want to have anything to do with the prospective father of the child that she is carrying

*Some men do not take responsibility for their actions, and do not provide financial or emotional support for the woman he has gotten pregnant

Some women, may not know who the father is of their child

NOTE*****Then, there are some men who have multiple women pregnant, while it is hard enough just to be available to give support to one woman, it is definitely, an unimaginable task to provide support for multiple pregnant women.

*The woman while pregnant, experiences hormonal changes, emotional rages, along with bouts of depression, that may drive the man away.

*I also believe that some men are mentally affected by the overwhelming emotions that arise, by struggling to accept that their mate is carry their child

**NOTE** Men, do not use this as an excuse for you to distance yourself from your mate, who is carrying your child, this is when you should be the closest to her, even though, she might be emotional, or have mood swings during the pregnancy, DO NOT Disrespect your mate, who is carrying your child!!

The miracle of life is very amazing.

I take the entire concept of bringing another human into this crazy world, a very serious matter. I often hear men bragging about a man being the major component of conception.

Really, Seriously? I totally disagree, the main component, is the woman, without the woman, there is no conception, and no child, the game is so over! Granted, it takes two to tango!! A male and a female.

*Yes, there are men and there are some women, who do not even have a clue, what is required for him or her to be accountable for their mate, when they are expecting a child. I could not knowingly be with a woman, where I knew I did not have a future with her, or a hand with respect to raising a child.

**Some women or even some men believe that he or she can rear their child without any support from his or her mate, and there is not a need for them to get married.

*Some women would just prefer to have a sperm donor

*Some men do not have the ability to support the woman or women he has gotten pregnant.

*There are some men who will knowingly for whatever reasons, not provide the woman who is carrying their child with the support that they need. Some men, will even leave the pregnant woman alone, and wonder why, once their woman has delivered the baby, that the woman will not give the man visitation rights to the child.(DUH!)

My suggestion to any man, is to do whatever you can for that child, whether the mother or your woman approves it or not. If you know the woman who carried your child, needs help with that child, it is the man's responsibility to pull his load.

Once that child has reached maturity, where the child understands that his or her parents can not co-exist together in the same home, or must live separate lives. It does not matter to me, if the mother or the father of that child or children steps up to be an active role model and parent for that child or children.

If two parents cannot co-exist for that child, then they must learn to shed the bitterness or whatever it is that drove them apart, because the child or children becomes the victims of all that bitterness and mess, that contributed to the parents separating as a family unit.

My biggest concern, is for the child's well being, mentally and physical well being. So, please for your child or children's sake, learn to bury the hatchet, and be an active role model for your offspring.


*NOTE* That's why contemplating having children, or raising them, is a HUGE undertaking and responsibility. No doubt it is rewarding, but both the man and the woman, must share the responsibilities of raising a child or children.

Here's a stat for you. There are roughly ten (10) million single mothers in the world today, and I believe this is not an accurate number, I believe this stat is a lot higher. This at least, gives men and women in our society something to think about.

Granted, getting married just because the woman is pregnant is a noble gesture, but if you do not love the woman that you have gotten pregnant, go and read my hub pertaining to getting married in our society today.

*Do not ever use your baby as a pawn or use the baby as an excuse to mentally torture the man or the woman in your life. Depending on who has custody of the baby, know why you are denying your mate access to his or her child.

*Do not have unprotected sex with a person, that you know will not be accountable in your life, and DO NOT HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, if you are arguing in your relationship with your mate, it's as simple as that in a nutshell. How many times, have you seen people that you know separate or breakup with their mate, and the next news that person receives from their mate, is that the woman is pregnant, then that's when things become very, very interesting in their lives, to say the least.

*Being legally separated or apart, may solve the issues between a man and a woman, but I would have to believe that it scars the child.

*Do not pretend that you love the person, and do not contemplate that your mate feelings will change, or your mate will love you, when the child is born, you maybe setting yourself up for huge let down or failure.

*A few men lose interest in the woman he has gotten pregnant, because most men do not like their mate gaining weight, or the fact that his woman's body undergoes some physical changes, such as weight gain.

Some men just do not have a clue, that the woman's body will change, because she is carrying child. All women who are pregnant do not experience huge physical changes, but those who do experience physical changes, can exercise to lose the extra weight gained during their pregnancy.

I do not know everything that occurs in a woman's body and her mind, when she is pregnant, because I'm not a woman, but the woman has all of my respect and compassion when it comes to carrying a child. The woman has to deal with the flood of the hormone driven emotions, while riding and enduring a pre pregnancy and post pregnancy emotional roller-coaster ride.

Then, once the child is born, for those women entering back in the workforce, that has to be a huge adjustment, before and after the woman's initial pregnancy.

Do not bring a child or children into this world. if the baby is not going to have a mother and father in the child's life. One of the things that I see each and everyday, is women and men alike, trying so hard to raise a baby by themselves.

I always seem to hear mostly women saying, " I don't need a man to raise my child or children." Granted, a woman can raise her offspring by herself in the world today. I do not believe it is logical or practical for a woman to do it alone, but that is my personal perspective.

I don't enjoy seeing single parents raising their offspring alone, and I do not enjoy seeing a child without both parents. We live in a cruel world, and to be alone with your offspring as a single parent, is just declaring hardship on yourself and your offspring. If the woman can reconcile with the woman's biological father, then do it.

I also become very saddened, by seeing children abandoned, abused, even murdered, and those children did not ask to be conceived into this world. Yet there are people who will bring a baby into the world, only to abuse it, or not provide it with the love and nurturing that a baby requires in this crazy world.

Ask yourself a very important question. Why would you want to bring or conceive a child into this world, that you cannot financially support or love? That does not mean that when you find out you are pregnant, that you run and have an abortion. Be responsible, and understand the consequences, and be proactive, when it comes to your actions.

Just remember that women have to endure so much emotional and physical hardship and distress during pregnancy, and to a certain degree, so do men, who contributed to the women being pregnant. Just remember bringing children into this world is a huge responsibility, it takes two to tango. So keep that in mind....



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Comments 14 comments

ozana 6 years ago

because the child born will not be of his bloodand will not be his caste


lala 6 years ago

i hear you but i feel it is much more


CorpGiant profile image

CorpGiant 5 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

lala it is much more deeper than what I have stated a lot of the reasons society has such a problem with this, is simply because people are selfish and self centered, and there or people who do not think about the child, yet he or she has selfish reasons for wanting to be bring a child into this world.


lee 5 years ago

My boyfriend and I found out that I'm pregnant last year. He made it clear that he's not ready to have another child since he's got 2 kids with different mothers. Now he started reminding me of the things i have done last year that hurt him the most. And today we broke up just because he said its hard for him to forgive me. I've never cheated on him or anything its just that we had misunderstandings. People are telling me its just an emotion that he's going through just because I'm pregnant, once I deliver he will be fine. Is that true and what is the cause of rejection?


CorpGiant profile image

CorpGiant 5 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

Lee this is the thing I do not understand about men, that say and do these things. He is sleeping with you, the two of you conceived the first child together, yet he has multiple kids by different mothers.

Frankly, I would let him know, that you have been faithful to him, yet he has not been faithful to you. Sounds like to me, he is trying to make you feel guilty for him straying outside of the relationship you have with him.

I don't think he is going through any emotion stress due to your pregency, besides guilt, and he is trying to lay down a guilt trip on you, to make you feel guilty for him fathering multiple kids outside of the relationship you have with him.

I can't tell you what to do, but I would suggest that after your 2nd baby is born, you stop having sex with him, if you going to have sex, have protected sex only, and sat down and talk to him.

Let him know, that you are not his problem, he created this mess by sleeping outside of the relationship, and then you both collectively decide where you want to go with the relationship.

You've got two babies by him now, he should be accountable and active in those babies lives. I wish you the best. I hope what I said, helps, if not, let me know, if I can be of any further assistance for you.

CorpG


Guest 4 years ago

Well i guess it is easy to say that ine should not bring a child in the world without a father... I was thinking the same before i got pregnant... I was dreaming of sex after marriage, honeymoon , love and respect... How much wrong have i done? I was commited to him in front of God, not religious officials. I trusted my 2 year partner with whom i live together, that he will marry me as soon as finances allow. But i found out that he has an arranged maariage in his country , has cheated on me, and swears he loves me while is scared to death of having a child now , and going against his culture and family. So yes, of he won' t man up i will say that i can raise a child on my own.


CorpGiant 4 years ago

Hello Guest,

Wow, that's a lot for me to take in, but I do understand everything you just wrote to me. Let me start off by saying, I do appreciate you reading this hub, and I appreciate you being candid about your personal ordeal as well.

I don't believe that a person should raise a child by his or herself. I do understand that a woman can have a child when she chooses, but just because you may have the ability to do it, does it mean, you can do it without thinking about the ramifications of conceiving a child alone? whether you are artificially in-simulated or you have a child, by engaging in sex.

If you are committed to a person in a relationship, and you are not married,

I personally do not see a problem with two people who love each other engaging in sex. Our human existence engaged in sex, way before we developed a society, and established these guidelines, that you can't do this, before you do that, and so on.

You have not done anything wrong, and I cannot and I don't want you to feel like you have to be judged by others, who may say you did or thought something wrong, because, first of all, we are ALL human, and you and I are not perfect.

The best thing you can do, is sit down and discuss with your partner, how much hurt he has caused you, by not being honest about his arranged marriage to another woman.

He has no doubt hurt you, and violated your trust, by cheating on you. Trust is something, once it is violated, it is very difficult to regain back.

Ask him, if he really loved you? You might get an answer or you may not, and since you already feel betrayed, it may not matter now.

I you cannot forgive him, just break off your relationship with him, and move on with your life. Inform him of your decision, and explain to him why, you are doing what you are doing, because you have been hurt by him, and he is committed to another woman elsewhere.

Explain to him that you wanted a child by him, but he is scared to death of having a child, yet that is what you desired, before you found out he was chosen in a pre arranged marriage for another woman.

My final suggestion, is, if you cannot forgive him, and he continues to pursue the marriage with the other woman, you must leave him alone.

As painful as that may sound, you will heal eventually, and Love will find you again, trust me... I hope this helps, and I do wish you the very best. Be blessed and prosper. CG


arthur 4 years ago

What about the girls who reject the father of their unborn child only a few months into the pregnancy and don't give a reason!


CorpGiant 4 years ago

Hello Arthur,

I believe that if you really question the woman who is pregnnt with the child, something was done or said, by one or both parties, that has given the pregnant woman was reason to to reject the father for having any interaction with the mother or the unborn child.

WE don't live in a perfect world, and when there is a disagreement, somebody will end up taking the brunt of the disagreement. If the matter is never resolved, the child will also be negatively affected by the parents not interacting, or the father not being allowed to interact with the child or the mother.

The only thing I can suggest, is that ALL parties involved, should do their best to resolve their differences, especially for the sake and the emotional well being for the child. I hope this helps.

Best Wishes,

CG


tears 4 years ago

My loving boyfriend of 3 half yrs want to leave tho i just informed him im pregnant Again for the 2nd time (have a 2yr old son) because he has had issues with How i 'liberal' i am and how i dress, no matter how much i want to work on this and i am totally willing to change my clothing which is really not 'scandalous' as he calls it He is still willing to just be done because of my history, which i told him from the Very begenning cuz i wanted all in the open to give him a fair choice to stay or go plus he has known me for 17yrs, for my clothing which is the same as when he met me thot i've made an effot to slowly change to a more conservative yet sexy look out of "respect" for him because he wants No1 to look at me with desire, and because i Dont care what plp think about me & how i look. i trully think he is very insecure, he says the thot of everything i've done in the past makes him think what i cud b capable of, ANY1 ia capable of anything! no matter what their past, i want this to Work for my Son's sake but him wiling to leave for such superficial reason has me ... disapointed. he Was wiling to go to councelling but keeps on focusing on things that are All in the past, i've asked if theres any other more valid reason but no. i keep a clean house, im a hard worker, can take care of all my finances, im 30 yet can still fit in ALl the clothes i have since 16, i cook and care for my son devotedlly and i have Never cheated on him nor would i want to since i Thot We were happy....


CorpGiant profile image

CorpGiant 4 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

Kathryn,

First and foremost, PLEASE do not come on my hubpage telling a person that she is dumb, please refrain from doing that, or I will delete your posts!.


CorpGiant profile image

CorpGiant 4 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

Hello Tears,

Let me start off by saying thank you for being brave to come on my hubpage and express your feelings pertinent to your personal problems that exist between you and your boyfirend. Firstand foremost, regards of what Kathryn said, you are NOT dumb!

First ad foremost, we are humans, and yes as humans, we ARE NOT perfect! We ALL make mistakes in life.

I believe from reading what you described as your boyfriend behavior, is that he seems to be a little controlling.

I believe when you are in a relationship with a person, male or female, WE must learn how to forgive one another, granted that may be difficult to do, depending on the person, and it really depends on what was done.

We first, must learn how to forgive, and not hold on too old baggeage, or things that happened that caused pain in the relationship. If you can't do that, the relationship will not survive. You should dress however it makes you feel. I think some men are very insecure, when his mate dresses in a sexy or provocative manner. So what, I love seeing a women express their self, through the way they dress, and EVERYBODY has an opinion, on what a woman should wear, and you are right, you should not care what others think.

Do what your heart tells you to do. I think that people who cannot move beyond the things that were done in the relationship, that caused him or her pain, should consider removing themselves from the relationship.

You cannot go through life, worried about what your boyfriend thinks about the things that occurred in the past in the relationship. If he can't move pass those things, then you may need to consider breaking off your relationship with him.

If somebody truly loves you, he or she should always look at you with love and desire in their heart, regardless of what you may or may not have on, from a clothing perspective.

Your boyfriend needs to lose the past, and move on with you, if that is his plan, plus you have another child on the way, and it is imperative that he remain an active father figure in those children lives. You continue to be a hard worker, and a great mother, I salute you honey!. Br the best you can be, and if that is not enough for him, then, talk to him again, if things do not change, then consider where you need to be with him in your life. Just insure that he is still in your children lives, if you decide to move on without him.

I hope this helps honey.

BEST of The BEST TO You, Be Blessed

*****For The Record***** This is for anybody that post on my hubpages, Please verify, that you are respecting each other, I'm the moderator, if I see Anybody verbally abusing one another, I will delete your post!


GardenofGreatness 2 years ago

I think most people follow what's in the media. The media is corrupt and puts bad or evil thoughts into people's minds. They see that and want to copy it. How many movies and TV shows (Maury) have you seen that really educated people on how to live a good life? Most shows display trashy themes. Have you heard of 16 and Pregnant?! The Jersey Shore? Exactly my thoughts. It's time this stuff stopped. It's not going to help our new generation (youth) that what they have for role models are trash.


GardenofGreatness 2 years ago

Plus, our generation today is shallow and selfish I read.

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