A Thirty Three Year Old Chapter Of My Life That Has Ended

This Hub is a thirty three year old chapter of my life that has ended, with some what of a surprise to some and then again not a surprise to others at all.

Way back thirty three years ago I had been dating a young girl for some months and was basically my real first girl friend. Both of us were really too young to even realize and know what love was. We just keep it as boyfriend and girlfriend for the time being with each other.

We did what every young couple these days do and lived life with out a care in the world. There then comes a time in a couple's relationship that sex comes into the picture, and by not thinking clearly in your mind, things happen that were not intended to happen, yes I mean pregnancy.

This is a huge shock and change in ones life for all involved and the couple has to decide which road they are going to go down.

They ask themselves ,shall we keep the baby and raise him or her the way we should? Do I really know who the real father is or just guess at it and say it is I? Is the man or should I say boy going to stick by the girls side or just vanish into the thin air.

Truly so many men, and I know a few, just hit the road like nothing ever happened and left the girl and now mother to be, fend by herself, with no support from the man or should I say boy.

Yes, we tend not to think of what the consequences may be during these few moments of love between the boy and girl and really at that point in time we just don't care. In doing so and by not caring and thinking straight this will become a drastic change in both parties lives.

It has happened to me, but I stuck by the side of the girl and was willing to do what had to be done to make this situation proper and right.

I was turned down basically with my intent to help and really not knowing if this child was truly mine. My question was to myself that I'm offering my support and help, so why is it that I'm being turned away?

Two years after the birth of the child, I was served a court summons for child support. What a shock it was, because as I said, I was turned down two years earlier for my offer to help. I went to court several times and nothing was decided by the judge for various reasons I will not get into.

As i wondered and worried what would be next, the phone rang and it was my lawyer stating that all charges were dropped and I was a free man. Well, what a surprise to me considering that I was served a summons for child support and now it has all been dropped.

What would you think if you were I? Thinking to myself, I thought maybe she figured out that this child may not have been mine. That's the only thing I could think of.

Have I had a child taken from me that could of been mine and will never know if it was? Have I been mislead through the courts and the decision to drop charges? Has my life been turned upside down by what I had to go through for no reason and no out come? These are just a few things that went through my mind.

First, I was the father, so they say, and the next thing is that now I'm apparently not the father. What is one to think when you are pulled in two different directions over the same situation.

Life then went on, but deep down inside of me I carried a fear and worrying about the question that was embedded in my mind. Was this child really mine or not? Years had gone by and I was married and had two beautiful children with my wife. One day a woman came to my door and said that (.....) would like to meet you. Now we are talking like thirty one years after the fact.

I said if I would like to meet (.....) then I'll let you know and left it like that and she left. One year had passed and I got a knock on the front door and there stood a man claiming his name was (......) and would like to meet me. I was down stairs at the time my wife answered the door and she came down and said you have to see this man!

I came upstairs and just starred at the man in shock. We introduced ourselves to each other and carried on a lengthy conversation. After realizing this person looks some what like me and has all the same interest as I do, I decided at that moment that we should both take a DNA test and find out the true answer to a thirty three year question I had in my mind and I'm sure in the man's mind in front of me.

We took the test and sent it off to the lab. The results came back in about a week and it was determined that this now man was 99.999% mine.

So, a thirty three year old chapter of my life has now been solved and has ended by one single test. I had missed out on the birth, the growing up, from a child to an adult and missed out on everything. The results were in front of our faces in black and white and then reality set in.

By me, being mister nice guy, and offering my help and support, has been mislead and a child basically stolen from me and my life. I had missed all of the years as a father and most important the child had NO father to raise him. (Such a shame) We both missed out on our lives together.

I truly think that our God has reasons for everything in our lives. This reason may of been in my eyes that I did have an alcohol addiction for many of years and maybe God thought that having my own wife and children plus one extra child might of not been the best for all involved.

We are now speaking and getting to know our families slow, but sure, and as far as making up for thirty three years of life, it would be hard. So, we must start out now where we are and continue to get to know each other.

As far as how and why this has happened this way I will leave it answered through God. He makes all the correct decisions in our lives and I will not question his words or reasoning's.

 

Life Went On

Life then went on, but deep down inside of me I carried a fear and worrying about the question that was embedded in my mind. Was this child really mine or not? Years had gone by and I was married and had two beautiful children with my wife. One day a woman came to my door and said that (.....) would like to meet you. Now we are talking like thirty one years after the fact.

I said if I would like to meet (.....) then I'll let you know and left it like that and she left. One year had passed and I got a knock on the front door and there stood a man claiming his name was (......) and would like to meet me. I was down stairs at the time my wife answered the door and she came down and said you have to see this man!

I came upstairs and just starred at the man in shock. We introduced ourselves to each other and carried on a lengthy conversation. After realizing this person looks some what like me and has all the same interest as I do, I decided at that moment that we should both take a DNA test and find out the true answer to a thirty three year question I had in my mind and I'm sure in the man's mind in front of me.

We took the test and sent it off to the lab. The results came back in about a week and it was determined that this now man was 99.999% mine.

So, a thirty three year old chapter of my life has now been solved and has ended by one single test. I had missed out on the birth, the growing up, from a child to an adult and missed out on everything. The results were in front of our faces in black and white and then reality set in.

By me, being mister nice guy, and offering my help and support, has been mislead and a child basically stolen from me and my life. I had missed all of the years as a father and most important the child had NO father to raise him. (Such a shame) We both missed out on our lives together.

I truly think that our God has reasons for everything in our lives. This reason may of been in my eyes that I did have an alcohol addiction for many of years and maybe God thought that having my own wife and children plus one extra child might of not been the best for all involved.

We are now speaking and getting to know our families slow, but sure, and as far as making up for thirty three years of life, it would be hard. So, we must start out now where we are and continue to get to know each other.

As far as how and why this has happened this way I will leave it answered through God. He makes all the correct decisions in our lives and I will not question his words or reasoning's.



© 2010 Mark Bruno

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Comments 21 comments

christiansister profile image

christiansister 6 years ago

Wow!! There are so many women raising children fatherless because fathers dont want to be involved.

It is such a shame that she chose that for your child and you! It is awesome that ya'll have the chance to share in each other's lives now. :)


the clean life profile image

the clean life 6 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Yeah I (we) have many years of catching up to do. But all in time it will happen.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 6 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

@ saleheen Thanks my friend!! It is just fine,but a little adjustment in my life but no problem, its all good.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 6 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

@ saleheen. Thanks so much my friend!


BeckyA 6 years ago

You are right to concentrate on today forward. The past is out of reach and right now is so precious. May God grant you much love and many years to enjoy it!


the clean life profile image

the clean life 6 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

@ BeckyA, Thank you for your kind words and it has taken some getting used to, but now everyday seems to get a little better.


Ashantina profile image

Ashantina 5 years ago

What an emotional rollercoaster! You have a positive attitude in terms of moving forward with your son from where you are now. Beautiful! :)


the clean life profile image

the clean life 5 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

@ Ashantina Thank you kindly for your comments and for being my fan too. It has taken some time to get used to the change in my life but it's getting better each day that passes.

Have a Very Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year!!!


pedrn44 profile image

pedrn44 5 years ago from New Berlin Wisconsin

This really touched me. I hope your son does not blame you for missing out on his life as it seems your efforts to be there were thwarted. It's wonderful that you are finally getting to know one another. Wishing you the best in recovering your relationship with him.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 5 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

pedrn44 Thank you so much for your comment. I will email the latest if you don't mind. I'd rather not say here.


The Reminder profile image

The Reminder 5 years ago from Canada

Wow. This feels like it's been pulled straight from a movie. I never thought your son would come knock at your door. You have been given a second chance to know that someone who belonged and still belongs in your life. Good luck in discovering him and catching up for all the lost time.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 5 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

The Reminder..Thanks so much, but months after this hub was written things went down hill big time. I believe I was being setup by mother and son for financial reasons and not for love. many bad things were said that I will not go into here, but believe me it was not good.

See you in the forum


the clean life profile image

the clean life 5 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

The Reminder..Thanks so much, but months after this hub was written things went down hill big time. I believe I was being setup by mother and son for financial reasons and not for love. many bad things were said that I will not go into here, but believe me it was not good.

See you in the forum


slaffery profile image

slaffery 5 years ago from Kansas, USA

This made me cry. It brought me back to my own childhood and how I hardly knew my father mostly in part to my mother's behavior. I am inspired to write about this and hopefully some of the healing process can begin. The only problem is, my father passed away nine years ago. I was happy that you both got a second chance and then sad to see in your comments that it didn't work out. I can imagine the pain and frustration that you feel.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 5 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

slaffery, First off I am so sorry about the paaing of your father and how you never had a real chance of knowing him, You should really write about that as I did in this hub. It will make you feel a sense of relief. unfortunately my story went bad for many reason not of my own. The words and lies that were said to me after all those years from his mother that really started it turned me completely away as if I never even met him. such a shame for him and myself, but I will not stand for anyone to speak to me as he did when he doesn't even know me and only met me 3 times. Write your story and if you ever need to talk I am aways on my gmail.

Mark


slaffery profile image

slaffery 5 years ago from Kansas, USA

Thanks, It took me two days to write it but I got it done :)

Stephanie


the clean life profile image

the clean life 5 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Stephanie good job. Is it published because I would love to read it. Let me know.

Mark


slaffery profile image

slaffery 5 years ago from Kansas, USA

Yes it's done :)


the clean life profile image

the clean life 5 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

JherusiaLhean

Thank you so much for your comment. I glad you enjoy my hubs. Sorry it tookk so long to reply :)


Barbara Turpin profile image

Barbara Turpin 5 years ago from N. California

Yea.....my brain did a flop back in time. At 19 I found out (by accident!) that the man I called Daddy, was NOT my bio dad. I told no one I had this info, my grandmother (maternal) told me she had ALL info on him AND, my half brother. She gave me information about my mother that was sickening. A lot during WWII. Basically she was a harlot. I didn't get there in time,

I had 2 young children and she died suddenly. I don't think bio knew there was a child, Dad married my mother while pregnant w/me.......which explains my violent childhood.

I'm sorry your 'son' used you, but, I'm glad you realized it before serious damage was done. Sounds like he learned his 'way of life' from his maternal half. I'm so so glad you saw it, I'm sure your family is as well.

Peace Be With You and God has Blessed YOU!

Voted up and all but funny

Again, thank you!!


the clean life profile image

the clean life 5 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

@ Barbara- I am sorry to hear that after 19 years of thinking he was your dad and finding out different must of been a shock. I am sure he loved you as his daughter. Did yo ever find your Bio Dad? I just re-read your comment and you said you had a violant childhood. That is horrible Barbara. I hope everything has worked out for you and your life. As far as mine goes, I really don't think I will be in connection with him for a long time if at all. Maybe my thoughts will change but as far as now I don't see it happening.

God Bless you and yours Barbara and thank you so much for commenting and the Vote Up.

Mark

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