A Wolf Spider Meets His Demise In My Living Room
I walked through the hallway and into the living room and froze in my tracks. I was going to head to bed and was padding through the house in my nightgown, barefooted and tired. I felt something swish across my foot and glanced down to see a brown spider scampering across my foot. The second I froze, he did too! It was a good thing that he had cleared my foot, because I would have absolutely flipped trying to get him off of me!
I am not so much afraid of spiders as I am respectful of their potential danger. We live in an area that has the fiddleback, or brown recluse, spiders. They tend to love laundry and clothes and I happen to be a clothes "collector", shall we say! You will find them, brown recluse spiders that is, in drawers, laundry hampers and in blankets or even sofas. You are watchful and you live aware that they are there. If you see one, you kill it and move on. It is life. Yes, I kill them. Again, I am not afraid of them and will watch them spin a web. I will leave them alone if we are both outdoors. However, this is my domain. It is my space. He can leave or die.
I looked at him for a moment and he turned, almost as if to look to see if I was still there. I simply said, "Oh My Gosh, HAND ME A SHOE!!!! I was not about to move, he might run! If he ran at me, I would stomp and dance....I had it already figured out! If he ran away, I wanted to KNOW where he had gone! He WAS going to die!!! My son handed me a tennis shoe, a canvas one and I replied, "Seriously, I need a SHOE! Not this little thing!" Mind you, my son is heading off to college again this fall. He's twenty now and wears a size 11 shoe. There is NO WAY it was little! Go ahead and laugh! I am! Anyway, he then hands me a real shoe, a solid one with a solid sole that I could get a good grip on! Okay.....I am armed!
The spider moved about a foot into the living room. He was planning his escape! My son said, "That is one heck of a spider!" I really looked at it then. Was it a fiddleback....hmmmm.....no. It had a brown body with some black markings on it and two very distinctly black legs. Two big eyes were watching me, well four actually, my son was giving me this..."anytime now" look! Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered something about these big eyes and black legs. Was it a good spider (harmless) or a bad spider (demon devil that has painful venom that kills you spider)? I couldn't remember!! Then....it hit me! I didn't care!! He was gonna die! I leaned over and he lifted one long fuzzy black leg as if preparing to run and then...WHAM! Squish! Peek!
Yup! He was dead! The spider met his demise in my living room. Yuck! He received a burial at sea via the toilet and I proceeded to the computer! I had to know what kind of spider I just murdered!
Researching the Spider
I opened the laptop and searched for a picture of a spider with 2 black legs. I found several, but the best picture with information I found was at a website from a Canadian exterminator. According to their information I had murdered a harmless spider. Sorry, Spidey, I couldn't remember!! In my defense, it said that it could bite and it could be painful and I am a wimp! I was oddly comforted to know it was harmless however. Maybe I should visit this webpage more often and learn how to identify various spiders so I will know which ones are venomous. Ummmm....No...I'm good with what I know. I am bigger. I am stronger. I am woman. You are dead. I'm good!
If you should want to check it out, I can recommend the website I used: http://pestcontrolcanada.com/Questions/spider_identification.htm
Good luck or Happy Hunting....whichever you prefer!
Okay....It has been MONTHS now since the first event with the wolf spider. I have learned that they eat other not so wonderful bugs and they keep away other critters who like those bugs...like the fiddleback spider. Yay! They are my friends.....well.....sort of. I still kill them if we cross paths, but I have learned to go to bed earlier! ANYWAY...I was in the bathroom...yes...IN the bathroom and another gigantic wolf spider came straight at my feet! I grabbed a nearby box of Kleenex and placed it between this beast and my feet! Looking closer at her (yes, her) I realized she was huge because she had hundreds of baby spider-lings fastened tight to her back! Oh MY GOODNESS!!! What was I going to do? How was I going to do THIS!?
Yes....I yelled for "a shoe"! Oh no! The college boy was now a police officer living in his own home! No help there! Hmmm.....he'd shoot it!! No wait, just a spider....just a spider...just a spider! "HONEY!" " HEY!!" "THOM-AS!!!" I yelled from two rooms away! My voice getting louder, longer and higher with each word! "A SPIDER!! A BIG SPIDER!" My hubby comes stumbling to the door. "Huh?" is all I get! In my mind, I could actually "see" him yawning and rubbing his eyes, half awake and barefoot in the hall. BAREFOOT!
"Get a shoe, NOW! Come back and open the door SLOWLY! There's a pregnant spider in here and she's HUGE!!" All he heard was "pregnant". "Who's pregnant?" "Why does she need shoes now?" I couldn't roll my eyes, she might disappear with ALL those kids!!
"I need a shoe to kill a pregnant spider and for crying out loud....get it NOW!!" He raced away and I decided to "get the heck out of Dodge!" I gently nudged her back, and jumped into the bathtub!! I kept one eye on her and started the water. You just can't be too careful! I know, you're laughing at me! Me too! Welllll.....Mommas are MEAN when you mess with their kids....Spider Mommas are probably mean too! Just in case...I was an island!
Tom came back with a tennis shoe, size 12, and the chase was on! She ran behind the toilet to the corner and turned to face him. Now, here he is....6 foot 4 inches....in his boxers, draped across the toilet, reaching out armed with the official spider killing shoe. She runs to the other corner behind the toilet and he spins on his belly!! I break out LAUGHING!! He tosses me a glare and smacks her!
Now is a good time to tell you....NEVER smack a baby toting momma wolf spider! When you smack her, just like he did, ALL the HUNDREDS of babies LEAP to safety! It looked like a starburst firework exploded! He jumped backwards, landed on his behind and I ran for the kitchen! Bug spray....where's the bug spray! I hurried back and sprayed, and sprayed, and sprayed! We were sputtering in the cloud I had just made as we stumbled into the hall. We both had shock on our faces! "It exploded!" he exclaimed. "I KNOW!" I said. "No MORE spiders!" I said, then he said, "who could survive that spray!" I then broke into a laugh remembering his plop on his behind! That drew a great frown until I batted my eyes, picked up his shoe and said, "My hero!"
Hopefully there will NOT be a third event.....EVER!!!
Text Copyright 2011 Deborah M. Carey
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