Advice to Youth - 2 -Panache
Advice to Youth – 2 - Panache
Well, Young Man, the subject of the last lecture was Women and we have covered the subject quite extensively, thanks to contributions from students in attendance such as, reading from left to right, “lisapreston”, Feline Prophet, Lee B, “glassvisage”, “manlypoetryman”, “jcwinn228”, Gypsy Willow and last but not least, that world famous producer of beautiful children, Cheryl. Many thanks to all of them and their high grades shall reflect the value and appreciation of their contribution.
Leaving frivolity aside, how does a pimply, insecure trouble maker like yourself can possibly hope to succeed in life? Street fighting is not an Olympic sport as yet and it is unlikely to impress those around you, unless they are regular guests of HM Prisons.
The answer, to put you out of your misery, is Panache. From the blank, fish like, stupefied expression on your blemished face I would venture to assume that you are not familiar with the word. Let me explain:
There is no translation of this unique French word in any language, so I can only illustrate it by example. In the 17th century the French and English armies faced each other across a few yards of no-man’s land, in the centre of which lay a ruined and deserted farmhouse, which had been pounded to rubble by cannon fire.
Despite the mysteriously high mortality rate at that particular spot, a group of French officers decided to stroll over to the ruin for a spot of lunch in the form of a picnic. They ambled over and while their servants prepared the lunch, they enjoyed a glass of wine in full view of the British, who were understandably miffed by such arrogance.
British officers are well known for their Christian charity and forgiving natures, but they tend to draw the line when they are given the finger, even figuretively as in this case. They also tend to like french wine, so the temptation to wander over and exchange pleasantries in accordance with the tradition of the time in such cicumstances was ireresistible. In consequence, a bunch of them sauntered over, armed to the teeth and spoiling for a fight.
The French being a courteous and civilized race, properly got up from their luch out of politeness, with mouthfulls of chicken and frog legs being leisurely muched. It was the custom of the period in such cases to first fire a volley from the single shot pistols the officers carried and then dive in with foils to finish off anyone still standing after the first volley was fired. Consqently, whoever fired the first shot had quite an advantage.
The French do not speak with their mouths full as their mothers are quite strict on this point, so they waited for the first one to properly swallow his nibble and after delicatly wiping his moustaches with a silk hadnkerchief he said on behalf of all the slow eaters: “Après toi, monsieurs” or, in free translation that you can properly comprehend, “Go ahead you poor chumps, have the first shot but before the day is out we shall have your guts for garters”.
That then is Panache. The apparently casual indifference to adversity in all its forms, including death.
So what lessons are to be learned from all this?
1. If you are on the British side and a nutcase offers you the chance to shoot first, take it and make sure you don’t miss, as you simply don’t know what this madman is capable of.
2. If on the other hand you are on the French side and having made your sporting offer you see that the other side cannot take a joke and is ready to take you up on it, shoot the bastard in the balls before he has a chance to raise his pistol, as anyone without a sense of humour deserve to die in excruciating pain.
3. Most importantly, please note that the only ones who had no say in the matter were the French servants who prepared the food and whose lives were in as much danger as those of the officers, aka The Bosses. So, the lesson from this is that if you are going to die anyway and if you are not going to be allowed to shamelessly grovel for your life since you are required to die with equal panache as the officers, you might as well be an officer. In other words, get a proper education and try to become the next inventor of the company which will compete with Google.
Further lessons shall be be provided only by request.
I am sure that you will have pleasure from visiting some of my own favourite authors on HubPages, who are:
Zsuzsy Bee, Gypsy Willow, _cheryl_ , Joy At Home, lisadpreston, Feline Prophet, Lee B, glassvisage, jcwin228, sunflowerbucky, tonymac04, IzzyM, Merlin Fraser, Internetwriter62, gaming-guru, Ladybird33, Nicole Winter and i scribble.
You may also enjoy reading:
“Go West Young Man” has already been done, so if one is to give Advice to Youth one must try to think up ways and means to keep Youth from falling asleep during the advice giving process.
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This Hub is written in response to: A Writing Challenge: Are You Up For It? http://hubpages.com/literature/A-Writing-Challenge-Are-You-Up-For-It
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