Arrogance Survey

by Emma NL on Flickr
by Emma NL on Flickr

Experience

I recently received a “Dear Jane” letter from a woman I knew. She was announcing how she was disassociating herself from us because we didn’t quite meet her standards. We did not complete tasks as fast as she thought we should. We did not have enough people helping us. We were currently in a building that was a work in progress and her and her husband had been telling us for a long time to move to the more expensive area since the buildings looked better. We were a little flabbergasted. She never volunteered to help unless we footed the entire bill (and they have a ton of money!). When volunteers are needed, we rarely get anyone so we do it all ourselves. That showed us to be n fault according to her. At one time we were in a study together and were each asked what we needed to recover or correct in our lives. She announced that she had nothing to fix. There were no problems in her life. Hello! Arrogance, dear.

We had a friend who decided to tell us what all we were doing wrong. We were raising our kids wrong because they were so disrespectful. This shocked us as we usually get compliments on them. Not saying they are perfect, but the way he talked our kids were wild heathens. By the way, he has no children of his own. He then proceeded on a discourse of the problems in our marriage was and what we should do about it. This from someone who never said, “I do”. He then said that if my husband could be a certified teacher then nothing should hold this man back (lacking education and training need not be mentioned). Is this arrogance again calling?

A dear relative just can’t say anything nice. My daughter stood up to sing a solo in church. She was a nervous wreck. Afterwards, the woman told it was good if only……. My daughter hasn’t sung in church since.

A family gathering and pot luck is the theme. I bring my dish. What does the cousin say? “Oh, you make those? I wonder if they are as good as mine. Why don’t have a cook off?” I hate potluck with the family.

I was meeting some of my husband’s family for the first time. I was having a conversation with a few of them when a distant relative corrected how I pronounced a local city. I pronounced it the way the locals did. She said I should pronounce it the way the French would. I’m not in France.

Another family gathering while I was a new bride – I was new so I didn’t say much. When an aunt asked about my hometown, I talked for a few minutes. This was the first time I really said anything while the rest of them never ever let their tongues rest. One aunt interrupted me not long after I began talking to complain about much I talked. She proceeded to go through the house telling them all. I still don’t talk around them if I can help it.

Everywhere

We deal with them everywhere we go: the workplace, family gatherings, the neighbors, social clubs, school, the store, church, and so on.  You cannot turn a corner without meeting the height of arrogance.  But what if you turned that corner and saw a mirror?  No, there is no way it could be you in that reflection.

Do you have a problem with arrogance?  Most people would feel that they have no problems what so ever with arrogance.  Everyone I know that wears the badge of “Arrogance” like a trophy vehemently deny that they are arrogant.  They feel like they are just stating simple facts.  In their eyes, they have no need to understand humility a little better.  In fact, the ones who need the largest introduction to humility are the ones who deny it the loudest. 

So, in order to help those poor souls out here is a survey that they need to take.  And let’s be honest with each and every answer.

You Need Humility if......

1. No one can cook near as good as you.

2. You cannot give a compliment without adding how you could have done it better.

3. All ideas from other people suck.

4. Everyone should come to you for answers.

5. You have no problems in life.

6. You cannot enter a store that has any items below $100.

7. When helping with a charity cause, you wear all the gold you possess.

8. Everyone else’s mistakes are worse than yours.

9. Other people need to fix their lives before you start on yours.

10. You are the smartest person on the planet.

11. You have to correct the pronunciation of others.

12. You constantly talk about your trouble gaining weight around others who have the opposite.

13. Your views on all subjects are the only ones that can be discussed.

14. You could always do it better.

15. Conversation centers around you.

16. You can only point out the reasons why someone shouldn’t do something.

17. Encouragement is a foreign word to you.

18. The latest fad is always bad because you were not on board first.

19. The level of your education is in the forefront of your mind and the tip of your tongue.

20. You tell others how to raise their kids though you have none.

21. Telling others how to handle their marriage though you never have been.

22. If someone else can do it, you know that you surely can.

23. If you refuse to listen to another opinion.

24. When you find another person’s mistake, you publicly point it out.

25. When your mistakes are found, you brush them off as insignificant.

26. You have to label everyone around you.

27.  You just have to tell everyone how to do things though you refuse to take any direction.

28.  You have to be in charge of all things around you and don't mind pushing people to do it.


If you answered yes to any of these, you have an issue with arrogance!!!!!!!! So now, the question becomes, “Do you want to change?” If so, then I highly recommend reading Humility: True Greatness by C.J. Mahaney. It is an excellent read that will help you begin your road down Humility Lane. It’s not easy but you’ll like what you see in the mirror a lot more.


How many did you answer "Yes" to?

  • 0
  • Less than 5
  • Less than 10
  • All of them
See results without voting

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Comments 15 comments

Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 7 years ago from California Gold Country

My favorites are those who are proud of their humility.


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

You are SO right. I forgot about those. Thanks for the reminder. I just know that I'm not as arrogant as others :) :)


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 7 years ago from California Gold Country

I certainly wasn't referring to you. I thought if I makrked "o" on the poll, I might be.


Everyday Miracles profile image

Everyday Miracles 7 years ago from Indiana, USA

Wednesday of last week, in church, the pastor announced to the congregation that he was fasting all but one meal out of every week. I know that the church is doing a fast (though not the purpose of it) but I found this announcement to be defeating and indeed, arrogant. I've always found myself turned off by this pastor, but never more so than last Wednesday.

The opposite of what you describe are those with low self-esteem. I guess I must fit into that category. It's a good reminder that I need to stop talking myself down. Not quite the same thing Rochelle is talking about, but pretty close!


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

(I didn't take it to mean me. I had just heard someone say that at least they were not as arrogant as someone else. I almost hit the floor laughing.) I don't think it makes you arrogant of being humble or even humble to mark "0". I personally think that we are all arrogant to a degree. Some are just much more than others and that is why they stand out so.


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

EM - I understand. I agree with you on what the pastor said. Unless he was using to call for others or such, scripture says that we are not to brag about such things. I honestly think that many don't understand what it means to brag or how arrogant their actions can be. I'm like you in always talking myself down. I think a lot of it has to do with always being told how wrong I was.


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 7 years ago from California Gold Country

It's funny that you posted this at about the same time as I posted my poetry hub and re-named it "I'm going to win a poetry contest!"-- (but I don't think that's arrogant because the contest is fixed.) And to Everyday M: Maybe the pastor skipped over the parts where Jesus talked about people who did those kinds of things so that others would see them.


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Rochelle - LOL - You are right. It is not arrogance if true.


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 7 years ago from India

The world is full of know-it-alls...the best we can do is steer clear of them.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 7 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

So well put, I hate people like this, although I have been guilty of the number 12 in the past, but not to make overweight people feel worse, simply because I get equally as frustrated trying to put on weight, as they no doubt do trying to lose it. I don't intend to make them feel bad any more than it would make me feel bad if they banged on about their problems losing weight, around a person like me who struggles to gain weight. I hope this makes sense :)


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

I'm opinionated.....but I think you have a right to your own opinion and I listen as you tell it.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio

I call them "little gods" .....they are usually very boring, close minded people. Cool hub...thanks. :)


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 7 years ago from Southern California, USA

I think we all have our issues with arrogance, but as a few have noted sometimes self-esteem is the issue.  For years people treated me as if I were not good enough because of the clothes I wore, the way I looked, the house I lived in, etc.  For better or worse this has made me more of an introvert, and I really only spend time outside of work around my family.  Occasionally I see my friends, but many of my friends from the past have fallen away.

I do regret certain things that I may have said to them that came across as arrogant, but in hind sight I know they made far more comments like that towards me.  I do not think they are bad people or anything, but I know I had a few friends that were so rigid in their ways I could never fit in their perfect world.

Some people have spoken down to me because I have never really driven, but that is the way it will always be.  I tried on and off for several years, but I came to terms with the fact I will never drive.  one friend told me she has achieved so much because she drove at eighteen and was accepted into to a business program, but at that point I just did not really care anymore.  I know I have my issues with foregiveness more than anything else because it is often hard for me to let go of the hurtful things my friends said to me.  I am trying to learn to let those things go, but that is my weakness.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

People who have never had children don't get it.  I remember before I had kids, I would see a kid acting out in a store and say to myself, "If that was my kid I'd tear him up like a can of kraut!"  But once I had my own I had an entirely different attitude, of course.

I really liked # 17 because people crave encouragement, it costs nothing to give, but it is not common.

Excellent Hub!  I enjoyed it.

I will admit I had to answer YES to # 10. :D


RGraf profile image

RGraf 7 years ago from Wisconsin Author

Thanks for stopping by everyone.

I once got to know someone better and discovered that his overbearing arrogance was a way of dealing with the death of his mother. It was not an excuse but it was a reason, and I looked at him differently. the problem is that once the arrogance is there it pushes others away that could be beautiful parts of your life.

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