Fun Facts: Blue Laws of the USA - Part 1
Singing The Blues
America: Land of the free and home of the brave. The land of opportunity. The land with a rich history and a diverse culture. It is also the land of ‘what the heck were they thinking’? I’m talking about the quirky world of Blue Laws. What are Blue Laws? Historically it is believed the term was coined by Reverend Samuel Peters of Connecticut back in the 18th century. Despite popular belief these laws were not printed on blue paper. There are a lot of Blue Laws that in the modern view are just plain… well… no longer applicable in the 21st century. I hope.
Every state has Blue Laws so I’m just going to pick a few that I think are well into the… quirky category for each state.
A few of Our 50 States
Alabama Blue Laws
- You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
- You may not drive barefooted.
- Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
- Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
- If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.
- There is a decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
- It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
- Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
- Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.
- It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.
- In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
- It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
- Silly string is banned.
- You aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.
- Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
- Selling two beers at once for the same price is not allowed.
- It is illegal for one to make a disturbing sound at a fair.
- Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
- Residents may not fish from a giraffe’s back.
- A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.
- One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth.
- Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
- It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.
- A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
- One-armed piano players must perform for free.
- Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
- Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
- Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
- Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
- No one may catch fish with his bare hands.
- The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
- One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.
- A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission.
- Dogs may not molest cars.
- It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.
- It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts.
- Deer may not be fed.
- Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
- An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
- Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
- All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
- The last Sunday in June of every year was named “log cabin day”.
- There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
- Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
- It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
- It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose.
- It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
- Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.
- Worrying squirrels will not be tolerated.
- Balls may not be thrown within the city limits.
- If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
- It is Illegal to go whale fishing.
- It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
- A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
- You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
- On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
- Idiots may not vote.
- You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.
- It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
- Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.
- A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting.
- The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
- A man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
- It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
- Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
- One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
- It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
- It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
- No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.
- Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses.
- It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.
- Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
- It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
- Fun Facts: Blue Laws of the USA - Part 2
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