Bring Back the Bastille

There are times that things from the past are found to be quite useful. I mean there are times I wouldn’t complain about the guillotine. My mantra used to be “Off With Their Heads!” Now it is “Purge the Gene Pool!” Why? Because there are way too many people who can’t use the brain given to them. I think we need to bring back the Bastille.

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What is/was the Bastille?

The building was originally built as part of a defense system against the English in the mid to late 1300s. It was in the perfect location to protect Paris. That use of ‘protection’ extended to many internal conflicts. But it is best known as being a prison.

The large structure was less than a hundred years old when it was converted to holding state prisoners. It was under this position it got the most use. Louis XIV decided it was a great place to stick those from the higher classes of society if they tended to disagree with him. Sounds like a good idea to me.

Its use expanded over the years to include anyone the crown and its minions deemed a threat in any fashion. Speak out against the crown and you found a new address in the Bastille. Wonder if cable was provided?

Princeton University reports that over five thousand prisoners called the Bastille home at one time or another. That means it was a well used government building. With the high traffic going through the prison, it stands to reason that it was a pretty crummy place. Research has shown that as far as prisons go, it wasn’t too bad. In fact, “inmates were kept in relatively good conditions”. (http://www.princeton.edu/~achaney/tmve/wiki100k/docs/Bastille.html) But like today, the truth doesn’t always matter even if it could be improved upon. Even back then, what people had to say made the ‘news’. A few who were able to leave the Bastille found a voice and wrote about the time spent in the prison. Their published books got the attention of the government and the public. Reforms were put into place. (Rotten reformers!)

Add discontent to financial problems and anything can happen in a society. That is when the famous storming of Bastille occurred in 1789. The event was so momentous that around the world it is celebrated in festivals on July 14 now known as Bastille Day. The Bastille was no more.

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The Bastille Today

Want to go to the Bastille today and help me open it back it up for all the idiots out there? Well, we are out of luck unless we plan on building a new one. The storming of the fortress pretty much demolished it, literally. A few stones remain but that is all. I don’t think we can do much with stupid people with those few stones. Then again….



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What About Bringing It Back?

What would we do with a new Bastille today? Oh, I could think of a lot of things. There are many people who could benefit from the Bastille or at least allow society to benefit. Think of all the idiots we could get rid of. I know I’ve got a few in mind already.

What about those people warning labels are made for? I mean who tried to dry their hair while washing it? And how about these:


  • Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

  • Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.

  • On Bottom of Carton: Keep Upright

  • Toilet Plunger Package: Do not use near power lines.

  • Window Cleaner: Do not spray in eyes.

Do we really need to tell people this? And just because some idiot did it, do we all have to be warned? Our society has come to this? Sadly, the answer is yes. That is why the Bastille would be the perfect solution. Take those who have no common sense and stick them in it. Though space would be a problem.

The size of the original Bastille would be horribly inadequate. I am not sure if the number of idiots is rising or it’s just the overall population catching idiot disease. But the size of the original prison just won’t do in today’s messed up world. Too many need to be housed there.

We need to build a bigger and improved Bastille! That’s the answer. How much better life would be!

Bring back the Bastille!


Note: For any of you who do not have a sense of humor to see the satire in this have reservations already made for you. Enjoy your stay!

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