Child Neglect and Unwanted Children: Who Takes The Blame?

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Taking the high road I made a conscious decision to write this article. The idea given to me by a post I responded to on Facebook - Monday January 7, 2013.

The post was the photo to the right which I responded to, regrettably. I apologize for removing the link. Apparently the post was removed.

You can judge for yourself the actual way the discussion ended, I will not be discussing that particular discussion in this hub, what I will do is speak about the issue itself.


The problem of unwanted, abandoned and starving kids

There are millions of children around the world who are neglected, unwanted, unloved and abused. Many of these kids are as a result of promiscuity and careless relations. On the other hand many of these children are also a result of abuse and personal violations. Please understand that I cannot use certain words in this article as they are against the rules . But many children and women have been abused by predators and relatives alike resulting in unplanned pregnancies and unwanted kids.

In some cases, children are born into poverty by loving parents who cannot afford to care for them the way they should be cared for.

The population below the poverty level is increasing as many people are suffering, jobs are scarce and food is virtually non-existent in many places. This breaks many hearts and many of us do what we can. To feed a hungry soul is to save a life.

I now ask these questions

  • Who is to blame for this?
  • What is the cause of this
  • What role does sex play in all this
  • Is sex the cause of unwanted kids and poverty?

  1. Casting blame on one entity is quite redundant as many of these kids, as pointed out, are as a result of carnal abuse. Many women who find themselves pregnant after such ordeal may give the child away, for adoption, abort them or abandon them.
  2. The situation has to be assessed thoroughly with keen attention to circumstance before making a judgement.
  3. Awareness is another element in this matter. How aware are women and their spouses are about contraception?
  4. A consideration of cultural and religious barriers. We all know the controversy surrounding the Catholic church and contraception.

Statistics

Africa

Let's talk about Africa where there were lack of proper contraception methods and anti-abortion laws. Women would resort to illegal and sometimes dangerous methods of aborting their unwanted children. Statistics show that in Sub-Sharan Africa, about 3% of women abort their children using risky methods each year. The awareness and use of birth control has risen from a mere 5% in 1991 to 30% in 2006 in these areas.


China

In 1979 a 'one child' policy was implemented in the Republic of China. This was done to control population growth and the women were educated about contraception and given birth control. Now, over 70% of the population uses birth control methods. China has one of the best economies in the Eastern world.


India

India seems to be behind when it comes to married women using birth control. Less than half of the married women in that country uses preventative measures. Up to 2009 it was reported than around 76% of married women found it difficult to obtain any kind of contraception.


The UK

Sine 1974 contraception has been offered free to women under the National Health Service. It is also believed than more than 74% women of child bearing age use some form of birth control.


The USA

Statistics clearly show that around 64% women of child bearing age use some sort of birth control and around 98% of all women have used contraception at some point in their lives. Despite this, more than 50% of pregnancies in the US are unintended even with the abundance of various kinds of contraceptive methods.

Responsiblitiy

Social

Population affects economic growth; whether positively or negatively. It is the responsibility of the government of every nation and country to educate and make available contraception for not only women but men as well.

Religious leaders need to be aware of the implications of overpopulation and step down from their high horses and allow people freedom of choice.

It is the responsibility of every government to institute laws that will protect the welfare of family, including objective laws governing abortion.


Personal

Every man and woman should bear the responsibility of their own choice. It is believed that all third world and developed countries have provided access to contraception for their citizenry.

Many people will argue that sex is the culprit and people should abstain. While I believe that abstinence is one of the best and most effective methods against pregnancy and STDs, I also believe that sex cannot happen without two people. Hence, the responsibility to not get pregnant lays with the couple doing the deed.

In the discussion I had on Face-book, I used the comparison with a gun. A gun is a useless weapon that cannot be fired on it's own. One has to first load then expel the weapon for it to kill or injure. I am not likening sex unto a gun but rather sex unto death. You cannot die by the gun unless someone fires it. That in no way implies that you are not free to own or use the it.

In other words, sex was created specifically for procreation but has evolved into the use for pleasure. Because of this we tend to forget that we can and will get pregnant when we have sex and we focus more on the pleasure.

Sex by itself is not evil, bad or negative. It is the responsibility if those having sex to protect themselves not only against unwanted pregnancy but disease as well. In conclusion the ultimate responsibility is with the couple. The act itself cannot be blamed.

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Comments 26 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

Thank you for writing this. My hub today is related. I am tired of the blame game; every one of us is responsible for the insanity in this world. We have to stand up and speak out for the children in this world.


rasta1 profile image

rasta1 3 years ago from Jamaica

Every man has the right to decide their own destiny. I think no one should take the blame because life is about imperfection. All human beings that are here were meant to be here.

In the section about China, did you mean 70% use birth control. China's policy is ironic because it is their large labour force that grows their GDP.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Hi Billy, in our society we often hear that it's our government to blame because of this or that. I want to ask, where is the individual responsibility? Why can't we take responsibility for our actions? Thanks for reading and commenting Billy.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Hi Rasta, yes it's 70%. Thanks for pointing out the typo. You are right. It is the choice of the individual to procreate and live with the consequences.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

Thanks for sharing this. It is so easy for any of us to blame someone else for our lack of judgment. It is indeed those involved to step up to the plate and own their behaviors. Important words for a time when caution and wisdom are often thrown to the wind.

Sending you Angels this evening..:) Sharing


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

Great points Cardisa, we often forget that many countries, especially Africa, do have this religious policy of no contraception. Which in itself is plain stupid by the religious leaders. they need to open their eyes and see the suffering of the children, nell


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Thank you Pstraubis 48, you are so right. How about we stop blaming somebody and look in the mirror. There is nothing wrong with sex or bearing kids, it's just selfish to keep having them and not being able to feed them.

Blessings.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Hi Nell. The religious policy extends to the Catholic church where it was strictly forbidden. They have been reviewing this rule for a while. I hope they rule in favor of good judgement.

Thanks for the support.


janshares profile image

janshares 3 years ago from Washington, DC

Very important points you raise, so many factors in the US and all over the world make it so complicated as to who's to blame. I do believe that for free people who have choices and access to contraception, it is about getting caught up in the pleasure of irresponsible sex. But if it's about pregnancies as a result of social and economic victimization, the neglect of all those children is just tragic.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Great hub. Thank you for this. When I was a kid, we would see Mrs. Coombs. She took care of us.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Hi Jan, I agree that we, the free get caught up in the pleasure that we forget the responsibility to ourselves and the children we may bear. In places like India, it is tragic that women are still victimized by men and there is nothing they can do about it.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Thanks for reading MHatter, was Mrs Coombs kind to you? I hope she was God bless her.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

Interesting, As i have said many times, there are women and men who should not have children. Abuse of any child anywhere is unacceptable. The church has no business in the bedrooms. God is the judge, not the church. Children are starving due to over-population. China is a great example of knowledge. We can learn from them...


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Hi Ruby,

I believe that if you are unable to care for kids then don't have them. Overpopulation drains the economy. I agree with you 100%


moonlake profile image

moonlake 3 years ago from America

I really have to wonder why the percentage is so high in the US. Contraceptive are free to anyone that wants them here. Many young unmarried girls are smart and know how to work the system here. They know more babies means more money. It's sad for the children.

I don't think the Catholic church here has much to do with it. Our family is Catholic and many of our friends are and it didn't stop any of us from using contraceptives. We no longer go to church and see big families in the pews like there use to be.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Hi Moonlake, I think the Catholic church might be becoming more understanding when it comes to contraception hence the small families.

The question of why the figure in the US is so high reminds me of the tv show called Maury where on one memorable occasion, a young women could not find the father of her child and had over 20 paternity tests done on different men. I wonder, are these people crazy. How can one woman sleep with so many men in a given period? Some women don't even have half this amount of men in their lifetime.


moonlake profile image

moonlake 3 years ago from America

I know there are many around that have 4-5 children and each one has a different father. I don't understand it and it's not all women. They had a guy on tv he had 10 children and each one a different mother and of course he didn't take care of any of them. He thought it was pretty funny. Just crazy.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Gosh, what's wrong with these people? I would be scared to be with a guy like that. You never know if they have some STD lurking under the surface. How can people be so irresponsible?


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

How sad that children suffer in this way. Being neglected and abandoned is so damaging and only leads to a life filled with emotional turmoil. The statistics around the world on contraception and pregnancy are amazing. Thanks for posting this so that people are aware of this need.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Thanks Teaches, I am glad that the discussion went so badly or I may never would have been inspired to write this hub. Thank you.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

Cardisa, I read your hub and totally agree. I have written similar hubs on the subject at hand, please check them out. I am a feminist who is a staunch advocate and believing in family planning and the benefits of the small family. I believe that ALL children should be wanted and that in large families, there are SOME children who are going to be neglected while others will be cared for. Furthermore, there is a stronger likelihood of impoverishment in larger families than it is in small families. Many people are inculcated with the premise that more is better.......Not necessarily the case in point.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Gmwillimas, I totally agree with you there. More is not always better unless you have lots of money and a family business which needs to grow..lol

All children, I believe are wanted, just not by the people who bear them. I want every child but I can't care for them and that's why I haven't adopted any yet. Every pregnancy cannot be planned but we can plan not get pregnant and that's where the responsibility comes in.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 3 years ago

Cardisa my Luv ! I truly believe that MAN is the culprit in almost all of today's problems from war to unwanted children , battered women to incest , domestic violence to murder ............where does it end ! As a man , I am actually ashamed of our record of falures !......ed


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

Ahorseback I hope you mean "man" as in the species and not the gender. Man the species is to be blamed for all we face but man the gender is just another victim in all this.


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 3 years ago

No Cardisa , I mean man , no I believe that man has so much more potential for greatness , and yet buries himself in selfishness , egotism ! Where woman is far more socially adept , capable of single parenthood , responsible for raising children and much much more socially mature !.......Like yourself !...........:-}


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 3 years ago from Jamaica Author

But when it comes to sexual and parenting responsibilities both man and woman are responsible. The man alone cannot be blamed.

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