Confessions of a Former Homeschool Mom

Homeschooling is still a bit controversial today but was really frowned on it when I pulled my 4 children out of public school. I had a lot of reasons. One of my children was not learning but being passed onto the next grade year after year. By the fifth grade, she still could not read beyond a first-grade level. The oldest girl and my son were being bullied at school and the teachers and principal were doing nothing about it. The middle girl was acting up and her teacher was having trouble interacting with her. All these reasons and more made me want to find another solution for my children’s education but I didn’t really want to homeschool. I knew that was going to be a lot of work on me and I wasn’t even sure I LIKED my children that much. They would come home from public school each day and immediately begin fighting and snipping at each other. I felt like a referee more than a mother.

We couldn’t really afford private school but I didn’t want to be responsible for their education myself. After a prayerful summer wondering what I was going to do that fall, I was left with only one option beyond public school: homeschool. I remember telling my husband that I would give it a try for one year and if I didn’t like it, back to public school they were going to go. Little did I know that I would LOVE it. Here is what I learned:

Who knew they were actually cute when they were studious. I LOVED seeing the light go on in their eyes when they “got it”. It was more exciting for me than I ever would have imagined.

They began getting along better almost immediately. We took a break in the mornings and they would pair off, challenging each other to a game of chess. I thought for sure the body snatchers had arrived and substituted my children for these wonderful people. I just hoped the mother ship wasn’t returning anytime soon.

I was able to find deficiencies in their education that I was totally unaware of before. Not once in any parent-teacher conferences did they clue me in that my oldest daughter was 2 years behind in math. And I did see that the youngest was a little behind in reading but I wasn’t aware of how far behind she actually was.

I noticed that sometimes they would try to get away with doing the least amount possible. In creative writing, my son would write a couple of lines and turn it in. I told him I knew he could do better because I’d seen him do better before. He said they accepted it in public school… and that’s when the lights came on for me. They were trying to slide by because they could… but with me, they couldn’t because I knew them better. I really like that I was able to squeeze the best out of them. Side Note: that same son has now written several fantasy books for teen boys. Would he have if I hadn’t insisted he give me his best?

I was able to gear the school for each of the children’s best learning style. My son wasn’t able to spell very well when I had spelling tests written, but when we had oral spelling bees he excelled. He learned best by hearing. My oldest learned best by seeing and reading, while the youngest was constantly out of her seat and roaming around. She learned best when we got up and did “hands-on” things. She loved science experiments and dissecting specimens.

When the time came to apply to college, I made some phone calls. I was concerned that my children would be penalized for being homeschooled. What I found out was a revelation. I was told that many colleges and universities prefer homeschooled students because they know how to study and are usually serious about their education; as opposed to public school students who tend to be party animals, going a little wild when finally getting away from Mom and Dad.

I found learning experiences everywhere. In the car on the way to appointments, we played alphabet and vocabulary games. In the grocery store, I had each of the children calculate what would be cheapest according to volume and often found surprising results. They would scour the isles with calculators in hand finding what we needed for the best price. To practice fraction skills, we would often go to the kitchen and each makes one half or one-quarter of a recipe of cookies. They had to figure out what ¼ of 2 ½ cups of flour might be. We watched growing things each spring and even did some experiments with decomposition. We buried paper, cardboard, cloth scraps and Styrofoam to see how fast and what would decompose first. The results were much more interesting than reading about them in some book.

I found that I bonded with each of them in a way that would not have been possible before. I learned more about them, their likes, dislikes, and dreams than I imagined possible. Instead of it being a strain, it was a bonding experience. They are wonderful people.

If you are considering homeschooling or are looking for reinforcements to keep going here are a few things to remember. There will be battles. There will be people who don’t understand and judge you. There may even be people who put thoughts into their ears of how abused and oppressed your children are. Sometimes even family members are unsupportive. But they don’t know how important this is. Protecting them from the abusive, corrosive influences of peers on the playground is more important than any lost socialization. Keeping them pure from the ideas and vulgar talk that goes on at some campuses is key to me.

When things became hard and stressful, I only needed to remind myself that this too will pass. It was only for a season and now they are all grown and raising families of their own. Interestingly they are each homeschooling their children as well. I guess it couldn’t have been the oppressive, controlling environment that the critics say it is if each of them wants the same for their children.