Education to prevent abuse

The cycle of abuse may be able to be broken with the help of education. Knowing the warning signs probably helps. If a child that was abused is never taught that what happened to them was wrong, they are likely to fall into the same category, an abuser. They might realize that they were hurt as a child, but they might not know any other way to discipline their own child. If that same child gets to be in a setting where abuse is talked about and how it effects children and is able to say, "I went through that, but it shouldn't have been that way." they might be able to go get professional help and work on healing the wounds left by their abuser. Knowing something was wrong and working through it go hand in hand. Once they work through the emotional damage, they might go on to more classes on parenting and find alternative ways to discipline. I have seen many cases of children that were hit or abused as children that did not know how to discipline their child any other way but did not want to hit children either. In many cases, those children would be without discipline and be out of control. In some other cases, there were children that had been rescued at a young age from an abusive situation, but the pity their rescuers had for them made it so there was no discipline for them either. Everyone was afraid that if they were told "no" they would feel abused again. The scares from their abuse were permanent. They had mental handicaps and bones that would never heal right, but they would most likely do better in life if they had some one that was willing to raise them with proper discipline, explanations, love, support, and guidance. Instead, they slipped further away from normal children because they lacked rules and structure completely. They clung to the few teachers that would guide them when they were doing wrong because they wanted some one that set boundaries for them. Most toddlers do. The cycle could easily repeat for children that receive no discipline and no education on how to discipline. If they are put in a situation where a child is telling them no and they have never been taught not to hit a child, they might find that to be the easiest way to get their point across. They might have something left in the back of their mind that tells them that this is how they were disciplined when they had discipline. Education is a powerful tool. It teaches right from wrong, where to seek help, to know our limitations, and when we have had enough. Education may also save a child from abuse. If a teacher is talking about the warning signs and different forms of abuse that a child has never heard about, they might recognize what they are going through in the lesson. This might be enough for them to reach out and get help, either from social services, a friend, the teacher, or some other person the child trusts.

 

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DTroth profile image

DTroth 5 years ago from My Little Hole In The Wall, HubPages, USA

Hi kantrybe,

I was just Hopping Hubs and came across your new posting.

You have some very valid points and good reasoning behind them...BUT...something you wrote kinda bothered me.

"If a child that was abused is never taught that what happened to them is wrong, they are likely to fall into the same category, an abuser."

This is a true statement for SOME people, but honestly, that statement hits a nerve with me because I am a survivor of child abuse in every way, shape and form possible and never knew anything different when growing up. I am also a survivor of spousal abuse. I basically just married a clone of my father. Do I hear a great big "DUH" coming? I have done a lot of research on this subject over the years when healing myself from the emotional damage my father (and sometimes my mother as well) and ex-husband have caused, so I know the statistics.

I am in no way passive, but I am in no way an abuser, either. I am a strong advocate against any type of abuse for animals, children, senior citizens and anyone else who can't defend themselves. I would protect ANY of them regardless of any consequences...even to my own death if need be. I have always been that way since I was a young teen.

I know there are many people who were abused as kids that grow up to become abusers themselves, but the majority of us are the opposite, because we KNOW how it feels to be abused and wouldn't dream of hitting or verbally abusing a child or anyone else.

"Most evil adults were abused as children, but not all children who were abused become evil adults." D.T. ~ 1980

Just a little food for thought.

May peace be in your heart...always,

Diana

P.S. Don't give up writing on this subject just cuz of one sh%thead like me. Your Hub IS a very good one and people need to learn about this stuff.

Thanks for sharing it with us. (:


Kantrybe profile image

Kantrybe 5 years ago from New Hampshire Author

To clarify, I was not trying to say at all that every abused child will be an abuser, I was talking about the ones that do, and if education can help change one victim to abuser's ways then it is worth every bit of effort to educate every person on abuse. I know there are many people that over come abuse. I have a question for you now that I clarified: do you think that education had an influence on your ability to overcome your situations? That is what the post was about, so your input, especially being first hand experience, is important.


DTroth profile image

DTroth 5 years ago from My Little Hole In The Wall, HubPages, USA

Oh yes, the education did help. But it wasn't until I was in my late 20's (28 to be exact) when I started doing my own research on the subject. My son was 6 years old at that point and I have never abused him, even before I educated myself. Basically, I just did the opposite with him of how my parents raised me. As an abused kid, that was the only education I got from them or anyone else, for that matter, learning what NOT to do. My son did have consequences and tough love discipline when he needed it, but he's really laid back, so I admit I had it pretty easy with him. He's almost 24 years old now and we still have a good, solid relationship, so I guess I did somethin' right.

I wish there were more adults (teachers, neighbors, family members, friends, Hubbers like YOU etc) who would take the initiative to "rescue" more of these kids emotionally and maybe even physically remove them from harmful households. Just to let them know that they're not alone and that somebody really does care about them.

Educating kids to all the ways that abuse is wrong is a wonderful thing and a very important step, but I think we need to take it even a step further and better educate their parents to stop them from abusing their kids altogether. After social services steps in and makes them take classes to learn about abuse and anger and how to control it, don't let them off so easy. Make it one strike and your out. If they're late or miss just one class or fail any of the tests, then make the consequences really harsh and take their children away from them and plop their butts in jail...at least temporarily...until they can get their sh#t together and start realizing what precious gifts their children really are.

That's just my thoughts. I know...too many of them. (:

Just because I'm way too opinionated and passionate about this subject, doesn't mean I don't like your Hub. I still think your Hub is very important and it is a great write.

Thank you for being so patient with me. (:

take care and be blessed,

Diana

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