3 Fundamental Secrets to a Happier Life

Illustration by Alberto Ruggieri
Illustration by Alberto Ruggieri | Source

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines happiness as "a state of well-being and contentment" and "a pleasurable or satisfying experience".

According to Aristotle, “Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

What is Happiness?

Einstein's recipe for happiness was simple: "a table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin."

Nowadays, people need much more elaborate (and expensive) reasons to be happy. And yet, all the luxurious cars, beachfront houses and exclusive resorts in the world won't make you happy if your mind is restless, your soul is wounded, and your body is depleted of nutrients.

This article explores the fundamentals of happiness found to be universal for all humans, even though the concept of happiness isn't.

Experienced meditators tend to be happier than non-meditators.
Experienced meditators tend to be happier than non-meditators. | Source

1. Cleansing the Mind with Meditation

What hasn't been said about the benefits of meditation?

It's practically considered an antidote for any kind of stress-related illness, in addition to alleviating chronic pain, depression, anxiety and even some side effects of cancer treatments.

Experienced meditators also tend to be happier and more peaceful than non-meditators.

Neuroscientists studying the minds of Buddhist monks found that meditation fosters uplifting mental states such as joy, compassion and "loving kindness," as evident by an explosive electrical activity in the pre-frontal lobes of the monks' brains.

Dr. Josipovic, a leading neuroscientist studying the brain during meditation, says that

"Meditation research <...> points to an ability of the brain to change and optimise in a way we didn't know previously was possible."

His Holiness the Dalai Lama, the spiritual leader of the Tibetan people, is the best prove that meditation increases happiness.
His Holiness the Dalai Lama, the spiritual leader of the Tibetan people, is the best prove that meditation increases happiness.

But what if you have trouble meditating because you can't seem to quiet your mind? This is a a common misconception.

Meditation is not about getting rid of thoughts, it's about changing the habit of grasping on to them.

When you grasp on to thoughts, you experience strong emotions, usually of the negative kind. It happens because you get caught up in your thoughts, and the mind becomes preoccupied with judging what's right or wrong, acceptable or forbidden, black or white. That creates tension, anxiety and what people in the western world know as "stress."

The practice of meditation creates greater awareness of the mind's tendency to cling to distressing thoughts, which enables us to actually label thoughts, and to let go of them easier. In the words of Alan Watts,

"when we no longer 'cling' to these passing thoughts which are always influencing our emotions, something else completely different arises, that which is called the great silence, which is just like living in a walking meditation."

So give meditation another chance. You'll be happy you did.

The Happiest Man Alive Talks About Happiness and Meditation

A traumatized individual feels trapped, frozen, unable to move forward in life.
A traumatized individual feels trapped, frozen, unable to move forward in life.

2. Cleansing the Soul: Resolving Past Traumas

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” - Rumi

Unresolved traumas from the past have a way of manifesting in the present as sadness, frustration, anger and other undesirable emotional experiences.

Consequently, a memory of trauma keeps the focus on the past, reliving it over and over, even though the original trauma circumstances no longer exist. An individual feels trapped, frozen, unable to move forward in life. In those severe cases an intensive trauma therapy is recommended.

Although you may not have had extreme traumatic experiences associated with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), most people have some kind of unresolved issue from the past that creates unhappiness in the present.

Suppose you had a hard time making friends as a child. You felt rejected by your peers and this (perceived) rejection planted the seeds of the inferiority complex and the social anxiety you experience as an adult, even though you've made many good friends and other social connections in your life.

Childhood experiences have the most profound influence on a person's life, often creating extremely rigid defense mechanisms that prevent one from recognizing the issues. Clinical psychologists are very familiar with the phenomenon of psychological resistance, but that is not to say that it can't be overcome. In fact, resistance gives the most valuable clues about one's subconscious.

Unquestionably, identifying and resolving past traumas can go a long way in creating lasting happiness and well-being.

An Important Book on Trauma

Carbs before bed can trigger the release of the brain chemical serotonin
Carbs before bed can trigger the release of the brain chemical serotonin | Source

3. Nurturing the Body: Food and Brain Chemistry

Sometimes the experience of persistent unhappiness is related to inadequate brain chemistry.

The natural mood-enhancing chemicals like serotonin can become depleted, which is why so many people use antidepressants and other substances to feel better.

While they may provide temporary relief, it comes with the side of addiction and certain emotional nuttiness.

There are 4 brain chemicals (neurotransmitters) that are responsible for how you feel:

  • dopamine,
  • GABA,
  • endorphin and
  • serotonin.

When they are depleted, it leads to the so-called "pseudo emotions" such as depression, anxiety, irritability, anger etc. These fake emotions nonetheless feel real to the people experiencing them, and can be as debilitating as the effects of trauma, loss, neglect, abuse etc.

Although some chemical deficiencies are inherited, anyone exposed to prolonged stress can deplete their natural feel-good sedatives, stimulants and pain-relievers.

Eventually the brain can't keep up with the demand, you experience more and more of those unpleasant pseudo emotions and you start substituting the lack of natural pleasure chemicals with chemicals from drugs, alcohol and comfort foods. This is the genesis of addiction.

Chemicals from these substitutes actually plug into your neuron receptors the way natural neurotransmitters do, sending the brain signals to reduce or stop the production of pleasure chemicals altogether.

Now every time your brain needs a "fix", you reach for ice cream or a drink. But every high must be followed by a low, so you get caught up in a vicious cycle of cravings, binges and relapses.

Typical mood enhancers we crave to feel better.
Typical mood enhancers we crave to feel better. | Source

So what can you do to get your brain back on track?

  • Eat more protein. Most diets avoid foods that are high in protein (such as eggs, fish, meat, nuts, seeds, cheese) with a purpose of losing weight, but protein is essential for building amino acids that make up the "happy" brain chemicals.
  • Reduce or eliminate the consumption of refined sweets and alcohol. Sugar and alcohol are very similar on a biological level in that they're both simple carbohydrates that are easily absorbed. Both raise blood sugar levels and the levels of at least two mood-enhancing chemicals, so when we use food or alcohol to self-medicate, we disable our brains' natural capacity to self-heal and self-regulate.
  • Stop using any kind of artificial sweetener. Five FDA-approved sweeteners are Aspartame, Sucralose, Neotame, Acesulfame and Saccharin. They are marketed as health-beneficial weight loss substances but are in fact very dangerous to our nervous systems. Aside from being highly addictive (in a 2007 study rats preferred saccharin to cocaine), the use of artificial sweeteners has been linked to a variety of neurological and mood disorders, migraines, Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and even fetal brain damage. If you're looking for a healthier alternative to refined sugar, use brown (cane) sugar or Stevia - a derivative of a South American plant that's been used as a natural sweetener for centuries.

12 Simple Things That Nurture Happiness

12 ways to increase serotonin levels
12 ways to increase serotonin levels | Source

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Comments 4 comments

SidKemp profile image

SidKemp 3 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach)

Thank you. This is an excellent introduction to our freedom to create our own happiness. I particularly liked the section on meditation. I look forward to reading more. Voted up, beautiful, interesting, and useful.


kalinin1158 profile image

kalinin1158 3 years ago from California Author

Thank you Sid! I'll add more as I discover other things and try them out. For me - the thing that made most difference in how I felt about myself was finding a loving partner... Maybe I should have written about that hehe. Thank you for reading and voting!


Mel Carriere profile image

Mel Carriere 8 months ago from San Diego California

We mistake comfort for happiness. Happiness comes from within, from being at peace in our own minds. So much to contemplate in this world, and too little time. Great hub!


kalinin1158 profile image

kalinin1158 8 months ago from California Author

So true!! On the one hand, happiness is simple. On the other hand, it's such a complicated concept. Im not even sure what it is, or whether I'm living it. One thing I'll say though - I tend to appreciate things retrospectively, so my main struggle is to be in a state of grace, state of gratitude NOW.

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