Funny Laws Dumb Laws Crazy Laws
Welcome to Funny Laws Dumb Laws Crazy Laws for Nebraska through Wyoming
Since I am still addicted to reading and writing about dumb laws, here is the second section of my Hubpost on Crazy Laws Dumb Laws Funny Laws (for Alabama through Montana). You will find that the following states, Nebraska through Wyoming, also have some silly, stupid laws on the books. Enjoy!
It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license. Bet the beauty salons promoted this law.
In Omaha, a man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest. Walk, don’t run.
In Reno, it is illegal to lie down on the sidewalk. Lie down in a casino. No one will notice.
Benches may not be placed in the middle of any street. The benches may have been placed in the middle of the street for all the folks who lie down illegally on the sidewalk.
It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name. What if your name really is John Smith?
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach. First law I’ve read with 3 prepositions in a row!
It is illegal to wear a bullet proof vest while committing a murder. So murder is legal if you’re not wearing that vest?
It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season. Crocheting and needlepoint are still legal.
It is against the law to frown at a police officer. You might hurt his feelings.
If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates. Oh, no, that penalty is way too steep!
You may not slurp your soup. How about drinking it from the bowl?
It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon. Those birds are on really strict schedules.
In Bernards Township, no street-side trees may be planted that “obscure the air.” Huh?
In Haddon, no one may annoy someone of the opposite sex. Confine your annoying to the same sex.
In Newark, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6 pm unless the customer has a note from his doctor. Possible scenario: NJ Doctor to patient: You want a what? For a what?
In Sea Isle City, there will be no boiling of bones on the property. Was a lot of this happening?
In Trenton, you may not throw a bad pickle in the street. So, ask the pickle to behave.
In Deming, hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery. Can’t help but wonder – what would you be hunting there?
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun. Throw it only if you mean it.
In Long Island, you may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand. Is there an alternative?
Persons in possession of illegal substances must pay taxes on them. Is that before or after they take you to jail?
Organizations may not hold their meetings while the members present are in costume. That one may be tough on those guys who wear the white hoods.
In Chapel Hill, it is a misdemeanor to urinate or defecate publicly. Does that include cats and dogs?
In Dunn, it is illegal to drive cars through city cemeteries for pleasure. Cars may not be driven on sidewalks. Can’t drive in cemeteries; can’t drive on sidewalks; Dunn is no fun.
In Elon College, there is to be no rollerblading during daylight hours on the roads or on the bricks. Ever tried skating on bricks? Really tricky.
In Zebulon, it is illegal to stand outside the police station for any purpose after dark. You might frighten the police.
In Canton, if one loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour. That gives your pet a whole 60 minutes to find lunch.
In Lima, any map that does not have Lima clearly stated on the map cannot be sold. Even if it’s a map of another country?
In McDonald, your duck may not be paraded down Ohio Avenue. Find another street.
In Paulding, a policeman may bite a dog to quiet him. Not too many applicants for the police department here.
In Toledo, throwing a snake at anyone is illegal. And it should be. You could hurt the poor snake.
In Youngstown, you may not run out of gas. And that’s an order!
Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. Isn’t locking the car doors sufficient?
Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus. Hold them in your hands like everyone else.
In Ada, if you wear NY Jets clothing, you may be put in jail. Wow, the Ada-ians really do not like the Jets.
In Hawthorne, it is unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window. Buy a mannequin instead.
In Oklahoma City, one may not tip over a casket at a funeral. Cow tipping, yes. Casket tipping, no.
In Tulsa, elephants are not to be taken into the downtown area. Keep them in the suburbs where they belong.
Mules may not drink out of bird baths. Clothes may not be washed in bird baths. You might leave detergent in them and that could make the mules sick.
A door on a car may not be left open longer than is necessary. Existential question – how long is necessary?
Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing. Try worms - they work better.
In Portland, shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street. They are much easier to tie if you stop walking.
Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. Those Amish are powerful lobbyists.
Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. See above – worms work better.
In Danville, all fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires. How is this possible? ESP ?
One must make a loud noise before passing a car on the left. Can I just use my car horn instead?
In Providence, it is illegal to wear transparent clothing. Unless you want to make a lot of new friends.
By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place. You can bet there’s a lot of “he said, she said” going on.
In Hilton Head, one commits a nuisance if he or she leaves a large amount of trash in their own vehicle. How would anyone else know?
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. Also impossible.
The definition of “dumb animal” includes every living creature. Can’t we leave people out of this equation?
In Fayette County, you may not have more than 5 inoperable vehicles on a piece of property. No one would know if you didn’t put all those cars up on blocks
In Lexington, by law, anyone who has been drinking is sober until he or she cannot hold onto the ground. Hold on to the ground? How would you define that?
In Knoxville, no one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk. Of course not. Put it in a dish or a cone.
In Borger, it is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or riding crops, and explosive firecrackers of any kind. How did feather dusters, whips and riding crops get on that list?
In Clarendon, it is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster. What’s this obsession with feather dusters?
In Dallas, it is illegal to possess a realistic dildo. If it is not realistic, possess away.
In Harker Heights, drivers of city vehicles must respect all traffic rules just like the rest of us. Hear, Hear! We could use that law in all 50 states.
In Lubbock County, it is illegal to drive within an arm’s length of alcohol – including alcohol in someone else’s bloodstream. How could you possibly know if you were breaking the law?
In Port Arthur, obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator. When the elevator starts, hold the farts.
In San Antonio, it is illegal to urinate on the Alamo. And positively un-American.
In Texarkana, owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights. On the owner or the horse?
It is a felony to persistently tread on the cracks between paving stones on the sidewalk of a state highway. I knew “step on a crack, break your mother’s back,” but I never knew it was a felony.
In Monroe, daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor. What if it’s night-time?
In Trout Creek, pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches. Oh, the amazing things you learn on these pages!
It’s illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole. Everyone knows you should use a parking meter.
There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery” by any person other than candidates. So if you’re a candidate, feel free to bribe away.
It Prince William County, it is illegal to park a car on railroad tracks. Also dumb, crazy and stupid.
No person may walk about in public if he or she has the common cold. That should cut down on foot traffic.
All lollipops are banned. Very unfair to those with oral fixations.
It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag. Stripes, obviously, are OK.
In Seattle, you may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length. How does one go about concealing a 6-foot weapon?
It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus because the sound of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers. Yep, sloshing always drives me crazy.
In Wilbur, you may not ride an ugly horse. Unfair. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
A tax of one cent is levied for every 17 and 9 ounces of coke sold in a store. Does Pepsi know about this opportunity?
In Nicholas County, no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service. Makes sense - they might wake you up.
Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons. Those convicts deserve nothing but the best.
While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license. And an extremely weak sense of smell.
In Milwaukee, if one is thought of as offensive looking, it is illegal for him to be in public during the day. Can I take him outside if I put a bag over his head?
It is illegal to purchase or use sparklers in the city. But you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns.
In Racine, it is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep. What if the firehouse is burning down?
In Sun Prairie, nuclear weapons may not be manufactured in the city limits. Outside the city you have carte blanche.
Even if one gets his/her change stolen by a vending machine, hitting the machine violates a city ordinance. To help you remember this, keep in mind that “Change is inevitable – except from a vending machine.”
It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking. No problem if you have really long arms.
If you enjoyed reading Funny Laws Dumb Laws Crazy Laws (from Nebraska to Wyoming). check out the first section: Crazy Laws Dumb Laws Funny Laws (from Alabama to Montana).
© Copyright BJ Rakow Ph.D. 2010, 2011. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So."
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