Funny Laws Dumb Laws Crazy Laws

I run. Therefore I ache.
I run. Therefore I ache.

Welcome to Funny Laws Dumb Laws Crazy Laws for Nebraska through Wyoming

Since I am still addicted to reading and writing about dumb laws, here is the second section of my Hubpost on Crazy Laws Dumb Laws Funny Laws (for Alabama through Montana). You will find that the following states, Nebraska through Wyoming, also have some silly, stupid laws on the books. Enjoy!

Nebraska

It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license. Bet the beauty salons promoted this law.

In Omaha, a man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest. Walk, don’t run.

Nevada

In Reno, it is illegal to lie down on the sidewalk. Lie down in a casino. No one will notice.

Benches may not be placed in the middle of any street. The benches may have been placed in the middle of the street for all the folks who lie down illegally on the sidewalk.

New Hampshire

It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name. What if your name really is John Smith?

It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach. First law I’ve read with 3 prepositions in a row!

New Jersey

It is illegal to wear a bullet proof vest while committing a murder. So murder is legal if you’re not wearing that vest?

It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season. Crocheting and needlepoint are still legal.

It is against the law to frown at a police officer. You might hurt his feelings.

If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates. Oh, no, that penalty is way too steep!

You may not slurp your soup. How about drinking it from the bowl?

It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon. Those birds are on really strict schedules.

In Bernards Township, no street-side trees may be planted that “obscure the air.” Huh?

In Haddon, no one may annoy someone of the opposite sex. Confine your annoying to the same sex.

In Newark, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6 pm unless the customer has a note from his doctor. Possible scenario: NJ Doctor to patient: You want a what? For a what?

In Sea Isle City, there will be no boiling of bones on the property. Was a lot of this happening?

In Trenton, you may not throw a bad pickle in the street. So, ask the pickle to behave.

Isn't this the Happy Hunting Grounds?
Isn't this the Happy Hunting Grounds?

New Mexico

In Deming, hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery. Can’t help but wonder – what would you be hunting there?

New York

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun. Throw it only if you mean it.

In Long Island, you may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand. Is there an alternative?

North Carolina

Persons in possession of illegal substances must pay taxes on them. Is that before or after they take you to jail?

Organizations may not hold their meetings while the members present are in costume. That one may be tough on those guys who wear the white hoods.

In Chapel Hill, it is a misdemeanor to urinate or defecate publicly. Does that include cats and dogs?

In Dunn, it is illegal to drive cars through city cemeteries for pleasure. Cars may not be driven on sidewalks. Can’t drive in cemeteries; can’t drive on sidewalks; Dunn is no fun.

In Elon College, there is to be no rollerblading during daylight hours on the roads or on the bricks. Ever tried skating on bricks? Really tricky.

In Zebulon, it is illegal to stand outside the police station for any purpose after dark. You might frighten the police.

Ohio

In Canton, if one loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour. That gives your pet a whole 60 minutes to find lunch.

In Lima, any map that does not have Lima clearly stated on the map cannot be sold. Even if it’s a map of another country?

In McDonald, your duck may not be paraded down Ohio Avenue. Find another street.

In Paulding, a policeman may bite a dog to quiet him. Not too many applicants for the police department here.

In Toledo, throwing a snake at anyone is illegal. And it should be. You could hurt the poor snake.

In Youngstown, you may not run out of gas. And that’s an order!

If you don't mind, I would rather be in a fishbowl.
If you don't mind, I would rather be in a fishbowl.

Crazy Laws

Oklahoma

Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. Isn’t locking the car doors sufficient?

Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus. Hold them in your hands like everyone else.

In Ada, if you wear NY Jets clothing, you may be put in jail. Wow, the Ada-ians really do not like the Jets.

In Hawthorne, it is unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window. Buy a mannequin instead.

In Oklahoma City, one may not tip over a casket at a funeral. Cow tipping, yes. Casket tipping, no.

In Tulsa, elephants are not to be taken into the downtown area. Keep them in the suburbs where they belong.

Mules may not drink out of bird baths. Clothes may not be washed in bird baths. You might leave detergent in them and that could make the mules sick.

Oregon

A door on a car may not be left open longer than is necessary. Existential question – how long is necessary?

Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing. Try worms - they work better.

In Portland, shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street. They are much easier to tie if you stop walking.

Pennsylvania

Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. Those Amish are powerful lobbyists.

Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. See above – worms work better.

In Danville, all fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires. How is this possible? ESP ?

Rhode Island

One must make a loud noise before passing a car on the left. Can I just use my car horn instead?

In Providence, it is illegal to wear transparent clothing. Unless you want to make a lot of new friends.

South Carolina

By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place. You can bet there’s a lot of “he said, she said” going on.

In Hilton Head, one commits a nuisance if he or she leaves a large amount of trash in their own vehicle. How would anyone else know?

 

Do you think he used a lasso? What's that in the background?
Do you think he used a lasso? What's that in the background?

Tennessee

It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. Also impossible.

The definition of “dumb animal” includes every living creature. Can’t we leave people out of this equation?

In Fayette County, you may not have more than 5 inoperable vehicles on a piece of property. No one would know if you didn’t put all those cars up on blocks

In Lexington, by law, anyone who has been drinking is sober until he or she cannot hold onto the ground. Hold on to the ground? How would you define that?

In Knoxville, no one may eat ice cream on the sidewalk. Of course not. Put it in a dish or a cone.

Texas

In Borger, it is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls, feather dusters, whips or riding crops, and explosive firecrackers of any kind. How did feather dusters, whips and riding crops get on that list?

In Clarendon, it is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster. What’s this obsession with feather dusters?

In Dallas, it is illegal to possess a realistic dildo. If it is not realistic, possess away.

In Harker Heights, drivers of city vehicles must respect all traffic rules just like the rest of us. Hear, Hear! We could use that law in all 50 states.

In Lubbock County, it is illegal to drive within an arm’s length of alcohol – including alcohol in someone else’s bloodstream. How could you possibly know if you were breaking the law?

In Port Arthur, obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator. When the elevator starts, hold the farts.

In San Antonio, it is illegal to urinate on the Alamo. And positively un-American.

In Texarkana, owners of horses may not ride them at night without tail lights. On the owner or the horse?

Utah

It is a felony to persistently tread on the cracks between paving stones on the sidewalk of a state highway. I knew “step on a crack, break your mother’s back,” but I never knew it was a felony.

In Monroe, daylight must be visible between partners on a dance floor. What if it’s night-time?

In Trout Creek, pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches. Oh, the amazing things you learn on these pages!

I may have change in my pocket but I can't reach it.
I may have change in my pocket but I can't reach it.

Vermont

It’s illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole. Everyone knows you should use a parking meter.

Virginia

There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery” by any person other than candidates. So if you’re a candidate, feel free to bribe away.

It Prince William County, it is illegal to park a car on railroad tracks. Also dumb, crazy and stupid.

Washington

No person may walk about in public if he or she has the common cold. That should cut down on foot traffic.

All lollipops are banned. Very unfair to those with oral fixations.

It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag. Stripes, obviously, are OK.

In Seattle, you may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length. How does one go about concealing a 6-foot weapon?

It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus because the sound of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers. Yep, sloshing always drives me crazy.

In Wilbur, you may not ride an ugly horse. Unfair. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

West Virginia

A tax of one cent is levied for every 17 and 9 ounces of coke sold in a store. Does Pepsi know about this opportunity?

In Nicholas County, no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service. Makes sense - they might wake you up.

I can't believe it's really butter!
I can't believe it's really butter!

Wisconsin

Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons. Those convicts deserve nothing but the best.

While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license. And an extremely weak sense of smell.

In Milwaukee, if one is thought of as offensive looking, it is illegal for him to be in public during the day. Can I take him outside if I put a bag over his head?

It is illegal to purchase or use sparklers in the city. But you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns.

In Racine, it is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep. What if the firehouse is burning down?

In Sun Prairie, nuclear weapons may not be manufactured in the city limits. Outside the city you have carte blanche.

Even if one gets his/her change stolen by a vending machine, hitting the machine violates a city ordinance. To help you remember this, keep in mind that “Change is inevitable – except from a vending machine.”

Wyoming

It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking. No problem if you have really long arms.

If you enjoyed reading Funny Laws Dumb Laws Crazy Laws (from Nebraska to Wyoming). check out the first section: Crazy Laws Dumb Laws Funny Laws (from Alabama to Montana).

© Copyright BJ Rakow Ph.D. 2010, 2011. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So."

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Comments 36 comments

GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA

Hey Doc - Check this out...

You mentioned this rule (not law) - "In San Antonio, it is illegal to urinate on the Alamo."

Let it become widely understood - The Alamo (Texas shrine) is regarded as "sacred ground." You will likely be escorted from the grounds if you laugh loudly, talk loudly, spit, smoke tobacco or anything else, drink anything (even water), eat a candy bar, or try to remain inside wearing shorts or some other "unseemly" clothing. Yes indeed, the Alamo is a totally "Don't Mess With Texas" sort of place, and it is fiercly monitored whenever folks are allowed to come in and tour the place. Oh, Yes!!!

Gus :0


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, Gus, for that historical information.

I'm not surprised by the stringent rules - Texas is a unique and independent state. Wasn't it Davy Crockett who said: "You may all go to Hell, and I will go to Texas."


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 6 years ago from USA

drbj - Davy Crocket is rep;uted to have said to his fellow legislators in Tennessee, "Gentlemen, you may all go to hell. I am going to Texas." So much for that, right? The Alamo is looked after by (and I may not have the name right...) The Daughters of the Texas Revolution. They truly make the rules for the Alamo, and they do not kid around about it. More than historical, the information about maintenance of super decorum within the Alamo and its grounds is also very current.

Gus :-)))


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

I'm happy to learn about the D.T.R., Gus, now I'll be on my very best behavior when I visit the Alamo. I promise not to malign the shrine.


healthgoji profile image

healthgoji 6 years ago

This is a funny article. Thank you for your research.


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

It was my pleasure, healthgoji, delighted that you found it funny.

I got so addicted to researching and writing about these cray laws that I wrote 3 more about the U.S. and one about worldwide stupid laws.

You might also like to read my hub about interpretation of proverbs. It's funny, too.


GojiJuiceGoodness profile image

GojiJuiceGoodness 6 years ago from Roanoke, Virginia

So, I find what you say about the Alamo interesting. Why is is illegal/bad to wear shorts inside the Alamo? Especially since TX has pretty hot weather.

I found this article to be very entertaining; some of these laws are just too good to be true!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, G.J.G. - you're absolutely right. These crazy laws are too good to be true but they still exist on the books of the various states.

As to the ban on women wearing shorts inside the Alamo - probably because it is considered a shrine and you are expected to dress in a respectful manner. Shorts don't get no respect

Thanks for the visit.


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

If we ever we have a need to be reminded what our politicians work so hard at, revisit the lawbooks. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

Springboard - you are so right.

When I first became addicted to researching thses dumb, crazy laws, I tried to imagine what lawmakers had in mind when they enacted them.

But that made me even crazier - so I stopped.


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

lol. Yeah, that was probably a good idea. What we don't know won't hurt us.


BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 6 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

I think NJ scares me the most - whew! I'd love to know who made such a law like 'you can't wear a bullet proof vest while committing a murder.'

But I love these crazy laws for some crazy reason. So I must check out the other hubs too.

Lots of fun! Thanks! And whew!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, "Brooklyn," sounds like you're becoming addicted to these crazy laws just like I am. It's really hard to imagine what these "law"-makers had in mind for many of the laws when they were first created.

Glad you find them fun. You're welcome. It was my pleasure.


Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

All thoes brilliant laws are great fun, but the New Jersey "do the murder, but keep the vest off" makes more sense than any other. Will read part one as well, thank you for all the fun


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

I can think of few subjects, Petra, that I enjoyed more when I was researching all these dumb, funny, crazy laws.

Each time I thought I had discovered the zenith of craziness, I would find another that surpassed it. What fools these mortal lawmakers be!


annathequietone profile image

annathequietone 6 years ago from the big state of Texas

Some of these were too funny .. Wow do we really make laws or rules that are that dumb .. I guess each state has it's own issues huh ? funny but still some are dumb...


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

You hit the nail on the head, Anna, wouldn't do any good to hit it anywhere else, no?

These are all real, actual laws that were enacted and put on the books for some crazy reason that some lawmaker had. They are DUMB, but nevertheless really FUNNY.

Thank you for your visit. Hope to meet you again.


Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 6 years ago

WoW - can't believe how dumb and crazy some of these supposed laws are? I guess we are blessed with some really dumb and stupid lawmakers - did we expect any better?

Thank you drbj. A hub like this is a welcome break from the usual routine. Thank you!!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Shil - your comment is very apt. We had some really dumb and stupid lawmakers then and we have some really dumb and stupid lawmakers today. Some things never change!

It was my pleasure to provide a laugh break for you. Any time.


jimcrowthers profile image

jimcrowthers 6 years ago from Port Charlotte

Wow, lots of humorous stuff in here. It must have taken quite a lot of time to go through them all to find these gems.

What I kept thinking while I was reading this hub was what situations brought about these laws? Was it one instance, or several that made the lawmakers get together and write these things down? It takes a lot of energy and time to pass a law through (or does it?), so it had to have happened numerous times!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, jim, nice to meet you. It did take a while to find all the gems in my 5 crazy law hubs, mostly because I had to stop researching so often to hold my stomach which ached from laughing.

Some of these dumb laws seem to have no rationale whatsoever for their creation. I would guess that the first law, however, about mothers giving home perms might have been created by pressure from beauty parlors in Nebraska who were losing business because of those "new-fangled" home permanents.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Oh, too funny!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, habee, for your seal of approval. We humorists have to stick together.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan

What a lot of research you did for these! I loved your commentary as I read as well. Gift of the Glib?

Sometimes I think the Law makers had to have been drunk when some of these laws had been enacted. I wonder, if any, are still alive!!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Susie. Are they still alive? Nope, they have probably been drawn and quartered by now.

Delighted you enjoyed the commentary and "gift of the glib" is a unique appellation - think I'll keep it.

Thanks for visiting; come back any time.


JillKostow profile image

JillKostow 6 years ago from Pennsylvania

I found myself laughing out-loud while reading all these laws!! I am going to share it with my mom, she will really get a kick out of them!!!!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

Yes, Jill, by all means share this with your mom and anyone else with a sense of humor who enjoys laughing.

It took me a while to research all these laws and those on the other four hubs as well, but I could have saved a lot of time if I didn't stop typing so often to laugh myself.

Thanks for stopping by and your gracious comments.


agaglia profile image

agaglia 6 years ago

Hi drbj, This was fun and funny to read. thanks for the yuks.


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida Author

How nice to meet you, agaglia. No disrespect intended, but your name sounds like a dyslexic trying to pronounce 'Lady Gaga'.

Thank you for the fun and funny comment and yuks I love. The pleasure was all mine. :)


Tammy L profile image

Tammy L 5 years ago from Jacksonville, Texas

No shaved chest but a waxed chest is okay.

You can’t frown at a police officer but you can shoot at one, huh?

Large amounts of trash in his or her own car is illegal. What about leaving it in someone else’s car?

The urinating on the Alamo law was a result of Ozzy Ozborne’s highly publicized act of urinating on the Alamo which angered a lot of Texans.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Tammy, do you get the same feeling I do when reading these crazy, dumb laws? They just get dumberer and dumberer.

Thanks for the visit and the tip about Ozzy's defamation of the Alamo. I don't think his porch light was lit at the time.


Tammy L profile image

Tammy L 5 years ago from Jacksonville, Texas

I'm not so sure his porch light even works. :)


jenngirl 5 years ago

Y do we really need laws?any way?I thought it would be easier to not have any laws in the first place.who needs laws?


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

You pose an interesting question, jenngirl. Even though some of our laws seem antiquated, even dumb and crazy, a nation without laws would be a country of anarchy. People would be stealing and hurting others and committing crimes non-stop.

Come to think of it, with unemployment over 9%, they are doing that today!!!


mark 5 years ago

In many states,there exist some laws which are really dumb or stupid. I have just found some stupid laws of different laws. Some of dumb laws are.

1. Dogs may not bark after 6pm.

2. No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

3. It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.

4. It is considered an offense to shower naked.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida Author

Thank you, mark, for adding your dumb law research. I appreciate your commitment. Here are my suggestions:

1. Get your dog a wristwatch so it will know when 6pm occurs.

2. Perhaps if you put cruise control on your car set for under 6o miles, it could be exempt (without a driver) from this law.

3. This law I would not repeal. Anyone who is dumb enough to walk backward when it's dark deserves to bump into trees and stuff.

4. Showering with your clothes on does save you the chore of washing them separately.

Whatcha think?

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