Gifted Kids Say the Darndest Things

I was labeled "gifted" when I was ten years old. I spent my middle school and high school years with the "nerds" as my best friends, sharing gifted classes with them for the entire duration of our school days. After college, I decided I wanted to be a teacher of gifted students, not because they are "smarter" or "brighter" or "easier to teach" (all misconceptions, by the way), but because they are the quirky ones...they are the ones I understand.

After 14 years of teaching them, I have accumulated some gems that they have said over the years. I plan to continue my list, but I definitely wanted to share a few as more than just FaceBook status updates to make my friends laugh. A few need some background information, but all will testify to the fact that gifted kids say the darndest things.

1. 6th grader, after being asked why he cries all the time, replies, "I'm a Pisces, and we're just extra sensitive..."

2. 7th grader: "Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs?" 2nd 7th grader: "A Super-Sized McWiener. That just doesn't sound right." 3rd 7th grader: "I'll have a Chili-Cheese McWiener." (shakes head.)

3. 7th grader: "If you do well at Home Etiquette, you could be a lunch lady! Or lunch man."

4. 8th grader: "Gullible has the word Bible in it!"

5. 8th grader: "What's that thing you put your head in and they chop it off?" 2nd 8th grader: "That's a CAT scan."

6. 8th grader: "Miss, did you know that if you say "orange" rrreeeaaalllyy slowly, it sounds like gullible?" Resounding around the room: "Ooooorrraaannngggee..."

7. 7th grader when faced with the dilemma over which side of town he would live on (while studying the Berlin Wall) if our city was divided: "Oh, Miss, I don't know...the side with Toys R Us? Or the side with my doctor?"

8. 8th grader: "I'm gonna flow like a jellyfish and sting like a bee."

9. 8th grader #1: "I'm not 6 inches shorter than you!" 8th grader #2: "Fine. 8" #1: "No I'm not!" #2: "Ten then." #1: "Good grief, no I'm not!" #2: "We'll make it a foot if you keep talking!"

10. 8th grader: "I think my little brother is dyslexic. He's allergic to shrimp"

11. 6th grader: "Please call me DQ9-4? (dee-cue-nine-dash-four-question mark)

12. Skinny 7th grader: "I don't do drug-free red-ribbon week because no one would believe me. Everyone thinks I'm on steroids because I'm so swole (flexes biceps). I made 35 cents today off my moneymaker (makes gestures to face). If someone gets me in a long shot (studying cinematic effects), people think it's a close up because this (flexes muscles again) fills up the whole frame."

13. 8th grader: " I tried to draw an octopus, but it only came out with six arms, so I guess it's a hexapus...with a mustache."

14. 8th grader: "My ex-uncle named Virgil is seven feet tall."

15. 7th grader #1: "What's 'eliminated'?" 7th grader #2: "water, lemon juice, sugar..." 7th grader #3: "Not 'lemonade'! 'Eliminated!'"

16. 8th grader: "Miss, do you want to hear something nerdy? I went to a Gears of War Convention dressed like a Halo Master Chief." 2nd 8th grader: "That's like going to a Harry Potter Convention dressed like Frodo!"

17. 7th grader: "Miss, knock knock." Me: "Who's There." 7th grader: "Wu." Me: "Wu Who?" 7th grader: Don't get so excited, Miss, it's just a joke."

18. 7th grader: "Miss, what did the robot say to the chicken?" Me: "I don't know, what?" 7th grader: "Stop being a chicken!" Me: ... 7th grader: "See, Miss, it's funny because the robot has no arms!" Me: ...

Even I, after all these years, don't COMPLETELY understand gifted kids.