How the World Ended but...

The search for knowledge can kill

The rise of menacing swirling clouds

How Science Killed the World

The Last Discovery of Man: “God Is an English Man”

By Jayesef


This is not mere imagination. Beneath the imaginary story, we have a message for those who blindly follow Science.

SCIENCE IS DANGEROUS IF NOT HANDLED WITH CARE

The story of how the world ended in 2075 but was saved by an Indian scientist.

The world ended in 2075.

Twenty days before the end came, a woman scientist from India announced the startling discovery: God is an Englishman.

This was the second time attempts to gain knowledge made by a woman misfired. The first time Eve lost us Paradise. Now this woman lost us the world.

Every discovery of man is the satisfaction of a positive thirst. The collective quenching of such positive thirsts has resulted in where man is today, what he is today, and … that swirling cloud …


Scene I. Year 25 BE (Before Eve)

The Lord sits in Paradise, deep in thought. He picks a handful of heavenly dust and smiles to Himself. He is apparently planning his next step toward creation.

God: Ha! ... and then Earth will never end!

Satan sits perched on his apple tree, the fruit of knowledge in his hand.

Satan: Still planning to create Man? You gonna give him a woman? and brains? ... Ha! ... By this apple of knowledge, your Man will end your Earth.

God: Not a chance buddy. I’ll give Man a brain unlike yours, and I'll put a nice little spiritual heart neatly in his brain.

Satan: You never know.

Satan sits in deep thought, as usual brewing a wily scheme. He leaps down from his perch, stretches his limbs and curly tail, and hisses the evilest hiss ever.

I bet your man will swirl your Earth to a lonesome end.

Noticing that God is not interested, with a flick Satan slicks his remote control, clicks opens his briefcase, and picks out a golden plate. He licks his fingernails red hot and etches the following words on the golden plate in the only language he knows, English:

“Twenty Earth-days from when Mankind Reads This, The World Will End in Swirls.”

Satan gives the plate to the Lord with a cunning leftward glance and says, “Bet?”

The Lord reads it. He is not interested.

“You scared?” Satan taunts. “You keep this plate for safety. Now you bet?”

The Lord is irritated.

God: “Fine. But this plate man will never face. I’ll place it in a safe place in remote space where man will never trace.”

“You never know,” says Satan smiling, steaming brimstone dripping down his crimson lips.

That night when the whole of Heaven rests in deep slumber, the Lord takes a slow walk down the walkways of moon. He makes a small hole on moon surface and slips a golden casket beneath a moon rock. The casket held a golden plate.

The Lord does not notice Satan reclining on a dark rocky moon terrain, munching a bitter fruit he stole from the Garden of Eden and humming a Bollywood number picked from the future.


Scene I. Year: 2075 AD. Date: 19-02-2075

A dark cloud hovers over the eastern horizon; it swirls menacingly.

Every discovery of man is the satisfaction of a positive thirst. The collective quenching of such positive thirsts has resulted in where man is today, what he is today, and why he is being hovered over by that darkening and swirling cloud on the eastern horizon.......


Story so far

The year is 2040. A scientist is born in India.

Velu and Billu are mill workers in a South Indian village. A son is born to them; they name him Muthu.

Muthu grows up into a bright young man and becomes a geologist. Like most neo-scientists, Muthu believes in returning to Nature. One of his most cherished theories is that methane produced from waste could seal ozone holes and contribute to rainfall. He advocated burying bio waste, including human and animal excreta, in six-inch holes to generate natural methane. He had in fact experimented this in his village with the participation of his co-villagers to experience torrential rains. The villagers participated by placing bio-waste on all roadsides of the village for six years. At the end of the sixth year, it was on a Friday in June, the clouds burst violently, thunder shook the skies, and the roads were flooded clean. Since most of the villagers in South India are agriculturists, they continue to dirty all roadsides throughout the year to enjoy thundering showers, torrential rains, and good harvests even today.

Back to my story of how the world ended. The first discovery of man took shape in the brain of woman Eve. Eve's first piece of knowledge came from Satan. The serpent picked up the fruit of knowledge from the Garden of Eden and asked the First Lady to taste knowledge. She remembered what the Lord had warned, but decided to go ahead and find out more. The fruit looked sweet, and Satan said that knowledge would enlighten even the darkest brain. The most foolish animal living then was Adam. "Probably this'll give him sense," thought Eve. She gave the fruit to the fool.........and you know what happened thereafter.

The first discovery of man, master-minded by a woman, led to the loss of Paradise. The final discovery of man, leading to the loss of Earth, was also master-minded by a woman—Eve’s descendant, a woman scientist from India.

In India, everything is democratically decided. This time the lot to head the Indian Space Research Organization (ISRO) fell on a woman, Dr. Tanveev.

In order to prove the might of female brains, Dr. Tanveev decided to land a man on the moon in 2075, although most knowledgeable people around the world thought it was a cruel joke on the thousands of India's poor who lived on pavements with food not sufficient for them to survive until their untimely death! Don't those dumb heads have something more sensible to do?

But thanks to empowerment of women in India and the female brains in India's ISRO, the spaceship did land a man on moon in 2075. However, unfortunately for mankind and fortunately for science, those female brains made a grave mistake. They decided to send scientist Muthu to the moon for geological studies. To make matters worse, since they believed it was too risky to send a scientist alone to the moon, they decided to send a villager from South India to the moon along with the scientist. Their practical brains told them that the South Indian head-load worker would help in unloading all those gadgets onto the moon.

Just as the villager was selected for the trip, scientist Muthu summoned him and gave him a secret mission: bury a ton of bio waste on the moon to induce moon rain.

Villagers in South India have the habit of taking morning strolls before sunrise every morning, for whatever reason. This is a tradition they have been following since ages. They say it reduces acidity. This man could not resist this habit although on the moon, and he did just that. Since it was rather dark and cold and he was all alone, and a bit scared, he picked up a scientific tool to keep him company in case of an emergency. He also wanted to complete his secret mission of burying scientist Muthu's waste before all those cameras would be turned on, otherwise the whole world would see what he was up to.

The villager walked for a short distance and stopped next to a rock. He started to dig a hole on the moon to bury the bio-waste brought from Earth, and lo!... his scientific tool struck gold—the last discovery of mankind. He found a golden casket buried neatly on the moon below the rock.

ISRO could not be more overjoyed. US-based NASA and company all around the world had sent so many astronauts to walk all over the moon, but finally it lay on the shoulders of a poor head-load worker from South India to find that golden casket buried under that moon rock.

The whole world waited in awe for a whole week to know what lay within that golden casket. Finally ISRO’s lady chairperson made that stunning announcement: GOD IS AN ENGLISHMAN.

Scene II. One Earth-day after Scene I

Satan sits on a rock and looks around. He giggles to himself. He fishes out a creepy packet from his pouch and flings it out into a black hole in outer space.

The packet contained an unused female brain—the brain of Eve he had exchanged with her a few days after she was created for a red-hot piece of his own brain and a bitter apple he stole from the Garden of Eden. That unused brain thrown into that black hole contained a little heart God had designed to pass down through Eve's descendants.

Satan had replaced Eve’s brain with a portion of his own brain!

AND SO SCIENCE WAS BORN, AND THOSE CLOUDS SWIRLS MENACINGLY THROUGH SPACE WHERE ONCE A PLANET CALLED EARTH USED TO BE. SATAN SITS ON A SPACE ROCK HUMMING A SONG HE ONCE HEARD IN BOLLYWOOD, the very same number he hummed in BE 25, picked from the future when.... …

Scene III

Scientist Muthu did not return to earth with the golden casket. He had to complete his secret mission. He also wanted to spend some time in silence by himself. So he sent the golden casket through the South Indian and proceeded with his secret mission: bury a ton of bio waste six inches below the surface and induce moon rain. He could return to Earth later on his time machine, which he had brought along with him to visit his father Velu who had died of lunacy.

After completing his secret bio-waste mission, scientist Muthu decides to meet his dead father. He sets the destination of his time machine to AD 2040 and blasts off into time.

Probably Velu was in his mill when the machine landed in the maternity ward of that village hospital .... and a few days later Velu named his son Muthu.

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