High School Friends

BFF
BFF
Like a beautiful scenery, a good friend brings much tranquility
Like a beautiful scenery, a good friend brings much tranquility

Longevity of Early Years Friendships

Do you ever wonder why your high school friendships last for a life-time? I wonder if this is true for most people. Some people are blessed with some great friendships that started even before high school and these friends continue to be close to the point of being considered as family. People who became friends later in life, for example at college do not seem to sustain the longevity as high school friendships, at least in my opinion.

That brings me to my high school friendships, which have survived over the last thirty years. I believe our longevity is due in part to when our friendship started. We began our friendship during adolscence. Erickson describes it as Identity vs role confusion. During this stage our friendship was more important than our families. Our world revolved around our friends. We identified with each other and so our friendship was very intensive. We were excited, happy and free. We shared almost everything, such as detalis about meeting our first boyfriend, first kiss, first love letter, first date. We were experiencing all these firsts together and that created a bond with us.

Let me tell you a little more about three of my best friends and you'll see what I mean about identity and bonding. We called ourselves the DynamicSes because our first names begin with the letter S. I knew one of these friends since we were in grade three and the other two friends I met in grade nine. We were always seen together at school and during the last three years of high school, we were inseparable.

Our family background was similar; we were from christian families. We all participated in church because our parents were very involved in church. We did not all attended the same church as we lived in different communities. Our church activities were not the primary focus of our friendship, as a matter of fact, we seldom spoke about church. We were more interested in normal things that girls our age were curious about. We talked about boys, who was cute, who was smart and who we'd marry. We also spoke about our ambitions in life and what we'd like to do when we were older. We thougth twenty five years was old - by that age we would have a great career and married with children. Needless to say, we did not achieve that goal. Our careers look priority for a while.

As I am writing this article, I realize that we had a lot in common and that may be the reason why we have remained friends. Currently we live in different parts of the world, two of us live in Canada, one live in the USA and another live in the Caribbean. All of us have successful careers; one does marketing for a major communication company; another is a manager of a major health club chain, another is an owner of a company that manufactures and distributes lingerie and sports wear internationally and another was a teacher for a while then switched to community healhcare management. Our values remain primarily the same; hard work and respect of self and others, while putting God first.

Our families are very important to us; three of us are married, (way later than the 25 years old projection) with children and one person is in a long term relationship. We communicate with each other at different times, for instance, I communicate with two of my best friends mostly on their birthday and holidays. The friend that I met in grade three, is closest and we speak at least once per week. We are supporting to each other during major life events such as weddings, birth of children, graduation or promotions and recognitions. Our children call each other "aunty".

I am not sure if this proves that friendships formed in early years survive longer that ones formed later in life, but for these three best friends and I, it appears to be the case. I have formed many friendships over the years, but these three best friends will remain my BFF.

I'll end with a poem about Best Friend by Anon.

For My Best Friend
© Anon

This is for you, my best friend,
the one person i can tell my soul too
Who can relate to me like no other
Who I can laugh with to no extents,
Who I can cry too when times are tough,
Who can help me with the problems of my life.

Never have you turned your back on me
Or told me I wasn't good enough
Or let me down

I don't think you know what that means to me
You have went through so much pain and you still have time
For me.
And I love you for listening even when inside YOU are dying
And I look up too you because you are strong,
and caring
and beautiful.
Even though you don't think you are.

And I hope you know that I am always here
To listen to you laugh and cry and help
In all the ways that i can
And I will try to be at least half the friend you are
To me.

I hope you know I would not be the person I am today, with out you.
My best friend.

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Comments 17 comments

AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

My closest friends are the 3 from elementary school and we are still as thick as thieves and talk or see each other everyday. Since we have moved back to the city we grew up in I talk to them and see them every week. Wonderful Hub!!! :)


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Lovezan, thanks for your kind words about my hub. I have checked out your website and it certainly have invaluable information. I have bookmarked it.

Thanks a million!


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Hi AEvans, thanks for your feedback. You are so kind, I think you are a great friend. Isn't it nice to appreciate the special people in our lives before they die? I am successful and happier because I have great friends.


sheenie 7 years ago

Great job "S" you have for sure captured the essence of friendship........ your words touched a cord deep down in my soul - I know exactly what you are talking about. Even if i don't get to talk to my friends for awhile when we do connect we pick up right where we left off..........


frogdropping profile image

frogdropping 7 years ago

My closest friend is indeed from school. I met her at nine, she was 12 and uppity! We clashed and have remained close friends ever since. She's the only woman I will trun to for advice, she just knows me so well.

Nicely hubbed DynamicS! :)


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Sheenie; Girl, you know that you are one of the friends mentioned. Good to hear from you. I am blessed to have you as a friend, even though life is busy and we do not have the time to chat all the time, you are always on my mind.


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Hi Frogdropping, thanks for your comment. You are so right, sometimes friendships have a rough start, but end up being the best thing ever... Keep on being a friend..


LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl 7 years ago from London

My Dad's closest mate still is his best friend from secondary school - they were each other's best man at their weddings, and he and his wife come and stay for a week after Christmas and week in the summer (they live in the far north of England, several hundred miles away)


LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl 7 years ago from London

My Dad's closest mate still is his best friend from secondary school - they were each other's best man at their weddings, and he and his wife come and stay for a week after Christmas and week in the summer (they live in the far north of England, several hundred miles away)


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Thanks LondonGirl, it's great hearing about your dad and his friends. We are blessed to have people in our lives who share so much love and joy and celebrate with us in our milestone moments.

Is it raining in London?


LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl 7 years ago from London

Not raining now, no, but was last night.


glassvisage profile image

glassvisage 7 years ago from Northern California

I was actually expecting to read that they DON'T last that long, but I guess it's because of my own experiences. I still have friends from grade school - one of them is my best friend - but my other two best friends are people I no longer speak to. I'm from a small town, so I think it's because there really weren't many people to choose from :S


Laughing Mom profile image

Laughing Mom 7 years ago

Friends in high school get a side of you that the responsibilities of adulthood, marriage and parenting seem to take. If they were true and valued friends through everything in those roller coaster years, maturity and going through everything we do as adults will only strengthen that bond, I think.

College was a time when my focus was so much different than it was before or after, and my best friend during those years reflected that. I married and had my first child before she finally settled down. When she asked me to be in her wedding, I realized that after the ceremony, we were more than likely not going to be friends anymore. And I was right. Her focus is still the same, mine is not.

My best friends from high school are still people that support me through my best and worst times. It sounds like yours were strong and valued, too.


christine almaraz profile image

christine almaraz 7 years ago from colorado springs

Very well written. My best friend from high school just got back in touch with me just a few years ago (we were best friends in high school and jr. high) after an eight year absence. She found me through my sister's my space. We hadn't talked in all that time but when we did it was like we never stopped. Great hub. I'm gonna call her right now:)


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Christine, thanks for your comment and sharing about your re-connection with your best friend. Social network are extremely helpful in locating long last friends. It will be fun catching up with your friend.

I spoke with one of my bff today. She was calling me from her vacation in Austrilia, telling me that I'd love it there. Thanks goodness for Skype.

Thanks for dropping by...


Daniela 4 years ago

You are all very blessed. I did not have such a great start with friendships lasting...I have one friend from high school left and I still live in the same town that I grew up in. It is very depressing and embarrassing...I've always envied others who had their big groups of friends still around. Some people just don't either meet the right people or connect with the right people or know how to keep them.


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 4 years ago from Toronto, Canada Author

Daniela, thanjs for your visit and your comment. Indeed I feel blessed to have friends like those in my life. although we do not communicate as often as we should, we remain friends and I'm eternally grateful for them. They are my sister friend and I will keep them close to my heart.

Daniela, cherish the one friend; let him/her know you value the friendship. You can find something positive about your town, otherwise you'd have left to live elsewhere. You have much to be grateful for.

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