How to Release Past Experiences That Are No Longer Serving You

It is not easy to let go of the past. We somehow feel anchored to them, they give us an identity that is much easier to hang on to than to release.

I had clients who, in the beginning, were not able to transcend childhood trauma for a long time. Change can only come from within. It cannot be enforced.

I can not relate to the traumas but I have found that this ritual works for both childhood trauma and broken hearts.

You can do this at any time, anywhere. You simply need a place where you can do the exercise and not be disturbed. Yes, even in the bathroom but No, not while driving or operating heavy machinery.

Close your eyes. Find yourself in a dark hallway where at the very end there is a door that has light seeping in from the outside. As you go through the hallway, you hear the sound of doors closing behind you.

The doors represent something that you need to leave behind.

An abusive childhood, an abusive lover..etc etc..You can have as many doors closing behind you as you like.

You walk, not afraid, because you see that at the end of the hallway is this door with light coming from the outside and you are confident that there is something wondeful that awaits when you open the door. You do not hurry because it takes time for the other doors to close behind you.

As you reach the end of the hallway and open the very last door, your eyes needed to adjust to the sunlight and when you have, you see that right in front of you is a beautiful, beautiful garden, with all the plants you have ever loved! The flowers of the season are in full bloom!

You look further and you see there is a natural waterfalls where the garden was built, and there is a natural pool, not too deep and not too shallow. You cup your hands and taste the water and it is sweet.

You look at your reflection in the water and you find yourself as you have always imagined you would look, full of beauty, full of strength, full of life, full of happiness and you figure out that this water is magical. It is inviting you to go in.

You dip your toe in the water and find its temperature most perfect. You take off your clothes and soak in the pool. The water is removing every pain, every bruise, every emotional baggage that you carry.

You stay a while, feeling that the water seeps into every cell of your body and removing every painful memory from them. .

They no longer serve you and you need to release them into the healing water where it is transformed into an elixir instead.

Your cells are renewed and in place of the painful memories, the imprint of unconditional love has been placed instead.

When you have felt cleansed and are ready to go,you look at the clothes and they are now shimmering white, clean and ohhh so soft. A group of fairies were cleansing it while you were taking your bath.

You put on your clothes, follow the other path that leads away from the pool and out of the garden. Behold, you see your home! As you were on the last step out of the garden, Merlin appears and hands you a stone [this can be anything that you hold dear to your heart and you associate with what is possible. A piece of jewelry, a memento from someone you loved and who loved you unconditionally, a symbol of unconditional love, something that holds meaning for you] and he tells you that that stone is your portal to the magical garden.

Your instruction is to rub that stone every time you wish to enter your magical garden.

You can always come back to your magical garden anytime, anywhere. You simply have to be present.

© 2009 by Melinda M. Sorensson

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Comments 17 comments

maotianwu201 profile image

maotianwu201 7 years ago

work hard!

msorensson profile image

msorensson 7 years ago Author

Yes, working hard, physically will take your mind off of it for a while. But they come back. Hence the ritual.


DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Melinda, so good to hear from you. Thanks for such well thought out and clear directions to accelerate change. While my childhood was not exactly traumatic, I've experienced trauma, on a collective unconscious level - through my ancestors. I've pushed these trauma down, but every now and then they show their ugly head and I have moments of torment. The next time I feel those dark days of pain and anger, i will remember your visualization.

Thanks as always you are awesome.

Peace and goodwill.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 7 years ago Author

Dear DynamicsS,

Thank you for bringing that up.

We can not undo all the traumas at once. Our psyche can not handle it, that is why we do them a little at a time. That is why therapies take years.

We compare it to a wound. It takes time to heal. The itching at the end of the healing of the wound is an indication that it is almost healed and the natural tendency is to scratch it again and open the wound again.

It is in those moments that we do not scratch it that is our test.

We bless the past. It is part of us and there was a lesson we needed to learn from it.

Much love,


Ladybird33 profile image

Ladybird33 7 years ago from Georgia USA

You know Melinda, this is wonderful, change can bring good but getting to that change is hard. Thank you for this article.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 7 years ago Author

Hello, Ladybird33,

Thanks for stopping by. I am sorry I have been so busy I have not had a chance to read your newest posts.

Any change is a symbol of growth and that is what we have to remember.

To adopt a change is not so difficult, it is sticking with it that it most difficult.

We all want to go back to where we were, even if where we were is painful, only because we are familiar with it.

The ego wants us right where we were because it only operates on the past experiences and keeps telling us "This is where you were. This is what you know. Let us go back to it because where you are heading is unfamiliar to me."

Wish you a great evening,

Much love,


Ladybird33 profile image

Ladybird33 7 years ago from Georgia USA

Melinda, your words have such wisdom, and I thank you for that. I embrace change, however, my husband struggles with it. Your insights are very help to me. Thank you so much.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 7 years ago Author

Dear Ladybird33,

You make me smile because you remind me of me when I was young.

We can not change others. We can only change ourselves and our perspectives. When we have done that we would see that there was nothing we had to change about the other person, that all we needed was to change the wey we look at things.

Much love,


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 7 years ago from Normal, Illinois

We all had past experiences which we rather forget. Time will not heal all wounds but it helps that wound to fade. Learn from the bad and there is always good comes out of it! Thanks, Melinda. You are one smart lady that I have so much to learn from!

msorensson profile image

msorensson 7 years ago Author

Thank you tim-tim. I only write what I have already experienced and try to distill from those experiences so that others may look at the similarities with their own lives and own up to them. We can not really "teach" others. We can point the way, but that is all.

viola woolcott 7 years ago

Personally I do not believe in 'time is a healer'. We learn to live with it. Therefore 'time is a helper' with our perception.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 7 years ago Author

Hello, Viola,

The only ones who can heal ourselves is us. We do this by whatever means we deem best for us, be it by prayer, being in meditation, being occupied with work, consciously forgiving. When we are no longer preoccupied with our past and the pain associated with it, we forget time.

Thanks for visiting and joining the discussion.

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

This is all true. Eventually I may be able to release. I need to record my life right now and I need to remember. But someday- maybe! Thanks Melinda.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author


Thank you!!

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

The past is gone and to a certain extent, it can be undone. This is what psychiatrists do. They bring you back into the past and then undo the emotional damage while you are reexperiencing the event.

You do not need to go there. Just enjoy the present moment. Thank you, vhinia.

freelanceauthor profile image

freelanceauthor 5 years ago

Nice hub on the art of letting go. Cheers

msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Thank you, freelanceauthor

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