How to be an Ambassador for the United Nations to greet and welcome alien visitors from space

Pioneer Plaque Symbology
Pioneer Plaque Symbology | Source

Mazlan Othman

Mrs. Mazlan Othman at the observatory in Hawaii
Mrs. Mazlan Othman at the observatory in Hawaii | Source

Who knew there was an office at the United Nations Office for Outer Space Affairs (Unoosa)?

Recently, it was reported that a Mrs. Mazlan Othman, a Malaysian astrophysicist was appointed to this prestigious post at Unoosa. The proposal for Alien Life Ambassador has been prompted by the recent discovery of hundreds of planets orbiting other stars, which are thought to make the discovery of extraterrestrial life more probable than ever before. Carl Sagan may have been right!

So, if an alien happens to land in your back yard, you now know who to direct him, her, or it to. Mrs. Othman hopes to formalize a treaty for the ethical treatment of aliens. She says, “The continued search for extraterrestrial communication, by several entities, sustains the hope that some day human kind will receive signals from extraterrestrials.”

Mrs. Othman believes the United Nations is the perfect place for just such an office. She is the perfect “take me to your leader” person.

FoxNews, on the other hand, also reported that the U.N. denied that such a post will be filled by Mrs. Othman or anyone else for that matter.

First Contact

There is an existing treaty for the purpose of greeting alien extra-terrestrials. It is the Outer Space Treaty drafted in 1967, which Unoosa oversees. The treaty contains an agreement for UN members to protect Earth against contamination by alien species by “sterilizing” them. Mrs. Othman disagrees and hopes to draft a more humane approach to an alien visitation.

Professor Stephen Hawking warns that alien interlopers should be treated with caution. He said, “I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. The outcome for us would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.”

Professor Carl Sagan’s view on approaching alien life forms was focused on communication. He assembled the first physical message that was sent into space: a gold-anodized plaque, attached to the space probe Pioneer 10, launched in 1972. Pioneer 11, also carrying another copy of the plaque, launched the following year. Sagan also regarded the SETI program (Search for Extra-terrestrial Intelligence) to be a valuable asset toward reaching out to extraterrestrials.

Ambassador Skills

I would imagine that empathy with other species might be a good requirement for ambassadors to alien civilizations. Someone that can “talk to the animals” should be in the lead for an appointment to Unoosa. Perhaps the dog or horse whisperer could work with Mrs. Othman as her assistants.

An alien visitor ambassador must keep the best interests of the Earth in mind.

Ambassadors are responsible for understanding key issues that affect our world.

They must gather facts and figures and report back to the U.N. so that a consensus can be reached on how to deal with the needs of both alien life and terrestrial life.

Ambassadors must be diplomatic and sensitive to other worldly views and must be non-judgmental.

The most important skills required would be experience in government and politics and have an education background at the bachelor’s level (minimum) to the graduate level (preferred).

Ambassadors must keep up with current events at all times. Current policy knowledge is also required.

An Ambassador must be able to build solid and agreeable relationships with both foreign and domestic political leaders.

Being a linguist would be beneficial as would a great deal of cultural studies.

Global travel, and perhaps intergalactic travel, will be involved, so the Ambassador for Outer Space Affairs would have to be physically capable of extended travel experiences in strange lands and cultures.

Good mediation skills would be required.

And suppose the aliens don’t like the way we smell or something? An ambassador would have to improvise and learn not to be offensive in any way.

A CD from Earth...

The sounds of Earth CD on board Voyager
The sounds of Earth CD on board Voyager | Source

What to expect

The Unoosa Ambassador will most likely be working from a plush office at U.N. headquarters at a regular 9 to 5 sort of job. That is until the space aliens land. Then he or she is going to have to have to be on call 24/7/365 and may have to travel to wherever the aliens are. He or she will most likely have to have some hazardous material training as I am guessing the aliens will be segregated until they can be shown to be harmless to humans and the biological sphere in which we live.

According to the college cited above – the typical U.N. Ambassador earns about $150,000 or so per annum. Nice work if you can get it! But that’s not all! Ambassadors are frequently on the receiving end of many gifts and samples. They can also write off any gifts and samples that they give to others. They are typically invited to all of the great parties and every country finds it a distinct benefit to be especially nice to ambassadors and will bend over backwards to avoid “international scenes”.

The Rewards

Imagine being the go-between of alien life forms and our world! What a huge responsibility. Fame would follow quickly and, I’m sure, fortune. Negotiating for all of the alien technology would require thousands of hours of work. Every scientist in the world would be at your door. It would be an immense job!

Perhaps the aliens will bring the secret to a long and possibly eternal life span! After all, they have to travel incredible distances just to get here. They would have to have solved either hibernation issues or have learned to eliminate cellular degeneration.

Hopefully, the aliens did not previously visit our Earth and plant the seeds for humans to evolve. In which case, they might be back to harvest their crop. The aliens landing in Asia might be hungry for a little Chinese Take Out (this is a joke, people).

The 'Face' on Mars - Real or Not?

The infamous face on Mars
The infamous face on Mars | Source

Do you have what it takes to be an Alien Ambassador?

Would you submit to an alien probe?

  • Yes
  • No
  • Maybe
See results without voting

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UFO Files (2 Disc Set)
UFO Files (2 Disc Set)

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Comments - Tell us what a good alien contact should be like... 28 comments

qwark profile image

qwark 5 years ago

Hahaha...

Funny read Austin!

I loved it! :):

I voted it up and funny!

Qwark


simeonvisser profile image

simeonvisser 5 years ago

It's funny because it is true! Well-written hub and it's indeed interesting to analyze what skills are needed for this unique job. Being an astrophysicist has certainly helped her getting the job but imagine doing job interviews to "fill this vacant job position"!


diogenes profile image

diogenes 5 years ago from UK and Mexico

Hahahaha...nice to see someone wasn't wasting Xmas. Submit to a probe...mmmm, I don't think so, not without dinner first. Perhaps they'll land somewhere like Paris, Texas, and get a traditional Southern welcome...Blam!! Great hub, great!!


lightning john profile image

lightning john 5 years ago from Florida

I wouldn't doubt it, if we were harvested in some way. But if they are coming for the consumtion of fully developed brains, they may be a little disapointed.


christopheranton profile image

christopheranton 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

They may be here already. When dealing with a species as suspicious and capricious as us, it would make sense to send spies first.

Maybe "Third Rock from The Sun" is not so fanciful after all.


Old Poolman profile image

Old Poolman 5 years ago from Rural Arizona

Interesting Hub. Perhaps we should hope we are not just being raised as a food source? That planet earth is not just a convenience store where space travelers stop for a quick snack on their way to some other far off planet. I suspect that with government involvement we would require the alien visitors to fill out and file a huge stack of confusing forms before we allowed them to freely roam about our planet. I suspect we would need to form many separate government committees that would take years to come up with a plan on how to properly handle the alien arrival. The committees would never agree with one another and we would still be operating without a plan. Our visitors from outer space would probably just leave before we ever figured out how to greet them.


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA

Lela (Austinstar) - Where do I get the "skills" needed for a nifty job like this one? I studied this kind of stuff one time, years back at that. I learned what to tell a "moon man" if I came upon one on the moon - "Take me to your liederkranz." Or, if a curvaceous and comely lady space ambassador were to show up in on my porch roof, I was taught to say, "Take me to your ladder, lady. I'll meet your leader later."

Funny article.

Gus :-)~


GusTheRedneck profile image

GusTheRedneck 5 years ago from USA

(Twtchy finger, Lela!)


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 5 years ago

I enjoy waking up to laughter. Great read.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Hmmm, I wonder which one of you guys voted in the poll to be probed?

Thank you Qwark! You have an interesting sense of humor. This is a serious job.

@Simeonvisser - I'm not sure what being an astrophysicist has to do with greeting aliens. I mean, it hardly has a bearing as to where they're FROM. I should think it would be more important to be a diplomat (asskisser).

@Diogenes - Yep, I'm afraid that if they land in Texas, they will most likely be met with many gun-toting, beer drinking, skoal chewing, pickup driving rednecks from hell.

@lightningjohn - fully developed brains? Who ever heard of such a thing? But I think the taste of brain-tartar might be to their liking.

@christopheranton - Wouldn't that be just like an alien? To send spies first. Heck, that's what I would do!

@OldPoolman - The bureaucracy would have a field day if this day ever arrived! I wouldn't mind it if Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith ran the alien police department though.

GustheRedneck - you old goat, you're probably dreaming of some Angelina J. looking alien right now! I see them male species as looking more like The Rock :-)

You guys have made some good points here. I may have to add to this hub.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Hi BreakfastPop! Again, this is a SERIOUS hub.... well, mostly.


Jane Bovary profile image

Jane Bovary 5 years ago from The Fatal Shore

Omg...it's all so beautifully civilised. 'The Ethical Treatment of Aliens'. That is too funny. I agree with Ms Othman, the powers that be will have to rethink that sterilization treaty..it's not exactly a friendly approach!

"Hopefully, the aliens did not previously visit our Earth and plant the seeds for humans to evolve. In which case, they might be back to harvest their crop"

That reminds of an old Outer Limits episode where super intelligent aliens came to Earth to 'guide' us, bringing with them an impressively ultruistic book called 'How to Serve Man' . This was all swell, except it turned out to be a cookbook.

Strange how the majority of people who claim to have been abducted and probed by aliens seem to come from farms in Mid-Western America. Just sayin'..


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon

Let me make it clear, Lela - I'm not submitting to ANY probe. Unless it's the one-eyed snake! Sorry....on vacation and me thinks I'm giddy with happiness!

Seriously, I think I'd make a great ambassador because I'd just get 'em with laughter. A couple minutes with me and I'd have them rolling in the aisles but then on second thought they might take me to their leader and have me whisked away for study or locked in a spaceship institution for the mentally challenged!

Great piece and ya gotta wonder. I guess I'll send in my ap just in case there are any openings!


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

How to serve Man! hahahaha I love it. Jane, you crack me up.

Audrey, you would probably trip on the space ship entrance ramp, fall off and cut yourself and when the aliens saw the blood they would be so amazed that they would cut their own heads off to see if they had blood inside and then you would be carted off to an interrogation room and quizzed for days on how you "murdered" the aliens, then they would release you and proclaim you a hero for saving the planet by causing all aliens to commit suicide.

Being probed is the least of your worries :-)


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon

Lela - now that's hilarious! I have a feeling you are most accurate in your assumption of my athletic prowess on the ramp. Of course once I saw my own blood I would swoon and pass out and then the probing could begin without my knowledge! Yikes!! Too funny. Merry Christmas a day late - and have a great New Year's!


Druid Dude 5 years ago

Uhhh, Great plan, guys. Shoulda paid better attention to Kirk and Spock in "The Journey Home". It is abundantly clear from the evidence that is right in front of our faces, that there is/are sleeper agent or agents among us. Have been all along. These are our "ambassadors", and they have been born among us, and have learned, over the extent of our recorded, and unrecorded history, to be very careful in revelations to this uncivilized place, where the populace still insists on rising up, and slaying their own brothers, sisters, fathers, and mothers. Such Star Ambassadors have only revealed their own deaths at the hands of these same blood thirsty lifeforms, who have so little regard for life, that they practice genocide against their own children, by the millions. Those same children are coming still. To "appoint" their "ambassador" reveals that they have no clue the position they are in. Those who are of the Six, are BILLIONS of years more advanced than we, for THEY started life here. They are OUR ancestors. They are our descendants. They are our past, and they are our future. Can you not now perceive the perfection of the WHEEL? The Circle which becomes eternal? WE MUST STOP NOW! Good hub. Like to think I instigated some out of the box stuff here. Good job. I just hope that the point of it was to demonstrate the fact that our species still suffers from overactive Hubris complex. I think you could be a fine ambassador. Voting it up.


drbj profile image

drbj 5 years ago from south Florida

Hi, Lela, I know several folks who would be ideal for the alien visitation program. They have been talking to aliens from outer space for years. Of course, when they take their meds, the voices are not as clear. And when they remove their tinfoil caps, communication seems to mysteriously end. But they are willing to travel - anywhere!

Thanks for a provoking and funny read. :)


Thelarkside@yahoo 5 years ago

At least now we can see where some of the economic stimulus money was spent =) Great post.....fascinating that this is for real.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ! Thanks for the link....


SteveoMc profile image

SteveoMc 5 years ago from Pacific NorthWest

I know a whole bunch of people that I would like to nominate for an alien probe. Let's start with one of my neighbors whose dog starts barking every morning at 5 AM. I think they should probe both him and his dog. If you discover a nomination process, please let me know. LOL Enjoyed the read.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

@DruidDude - Are you personally acquainted with "the Six"? Can you provide some details?

@drbj - I wore my rabbit ears while typing this hub. No bananas were harmed during the writing. I hope to take more meds soon. Like tonight :-)

Hiya rattler! (Thelarkside) - I have learned that Area 51, 52, and 53 did receive a nice chunk of stimulus money. The military is SO redundant!

@SteveoMc - The dog would probably love the probe! Dogs bark to get attention. Perhaps you could toss a hot dog or two his way. I think the nomination for the U.S.A Ambassador would have to come from Obama, so send your cards and letters today!


lightning john profile image

lightning john 5 years ago from Florida

Hi, Lela, I know several folks who would be ideal for the alien visitation program. They have been talking to aliens from outer space for years. Of course, when they take their meds, the voices are not as clear. And when they remove their tinfoil caps, communication seems to mysteriously end.

This kind of mean, cold comment is not what I expect to read. I'm starting to see a pattern here. LJ


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

LJ - No aliens were harmed in the writing of this hub either (to my knowledge anyway). We must forgive drbj for making comparisons to the asylum folk she lives with :-)


lightning john profile image

lightning john 5 years ago from Florida

Ha, ha yea, my relatives. lol.


Druid Dude profile image

Druid Dude 5 years ago from West Coast

Took me awhile to read this...when you are rich and famous, don't forget the Dude!LOL


doug williams 4 years ago

not shore if that was all a joke or if you guys are being for real. If this is real ill take the job for 10.00 per hr, i would need sum overtime though. By tihe way i didn't find that question funny. Dont ask dont tell. right bill


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 4 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

So, no alien probes for you, huh?


ginaunn 3 years ago

we in UNN think is a good way to treat aliens.


Austinstar profile image

Austinstar 3 years ago from Somewhere in the universe Author

Me too ginaunn!

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