How to do nothing? 10 tips to master the art of doing nothing

"I'm doing nothing! Care to join me?"
"I'm doing nothing! Care to join me?" | Source

Learn how to do nothing with this satirical yet very helpful guide on the art of doing nothing.

1) Find a place

If you want to do nothing, the first thing you will need to do is find a place. Of course, you just can't walk up to any place and do nothing, can you? Find a cool place that is preferably empty, whether it is your friend's apartment, your very own basement or an empty garage.

2) Budget

You thought you can do nothing for free? In your dreams! To do nothing, you will need supplies of food, water and much more to keep you going. So decide on the amount of money you are prepared to spend while doing nothing. It's great to keep a credit card handy for in case of an emergency. Like ordering a pizza.

3) Get company

You thought you were the only one who likes to do nothing? Of course not. Surely your friends will love to join you in this fun activity. Call them over and do nothing together. It's always good to have company, isn't it?

4) Plan your do-nothing activities

To make sure that you don't get bored while doing nothing, you will need to indulge in activities that help you do nothing. Whether it is watching TV, watching movies, staring, sleeping or just being, plan your activities well so you enjoy your time doing nothing. If you've decided to get company, you can even brainstorm this thought with the people coming over to give you company while doing nothing.

5) Inform friends and family

The last thing you'd want while doing nothing is to receive a phone call from a friend saying "Hey come over to my place. Let's hang out" So let them know in advance to not to disturb you because you plan to do nothing. If they call even after you've informed them, feel free to sternly say "Hey don't you remember I am doing nothing today. I can't come"

6) Set your voicemail and automated email responses

Voicemail: Hi. You have called John. I'm busy doing nothing. Please leave your name and number and I will call you when I have finished doing nothing.

Automated email response: This is an automated response. John has received your email and will respond as soon as he has finished doing nothing.

7) Prepare for your pet

While a pet can be awesome company when you want to do nothing, it can also mean trouble if it needs to be fed. Make sure you've stocked up on pet food and other supplies for your cat, dog or any other animal that you may have, so you don't need to interrupt your time doing nothing to run to the pet store.

8) Stock up on good music

Good music playing in the background is one of the most important things that you will need to help you do nothing. Whether it is Rock, Pop, Psychedelic, Trance, Hip Hop, Jazz, Soul or Classical, make sure you stack up on your favorite artists.

9) Prepare a good excuse

Although there is little more in life more enjoyable than doing nothing, some people may find it very absurd and even think of it as a bad habit. Especially people like your boss, teacher, parents or other members of your family. So make sure you have a believable excuse handy just in case someone annoyingly asks you "Move your butt and do something!"

10) Remove all guilt

Last but not the least, you will have to mentally prepare yourself for this. Don't even, for a second, be faced with the guilt of not doing anything. If others put you down for it, you must remember that they are simply jealous that you've perfected the art of doing nothing.

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Comments 21 comments

Donna Sundblad profile image

Donna Sundblad 5 years ago from Georgia

Very funny! I shared it on FB.

phdast7 5 years ago

What fun! I love it. :)

princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author


Thanks heaps for sharing this! I had a good laugh too while writing it!


icciev profile image

icciev 5 years ago from Kuwait

you have really planed this very well, I have to add one thing to music category which is " Today I feel like not doing anything" by Bruno Mars. really thanks for sharing this, Voted up

princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author


I'm glad you liked it!


learner365 profile image

learner365 5 years ago

You have just turned such a simple thing into very classic.Really nicely written.Loved reading every bit of this Hub !!!

Geoff Morova profile image

Geoff Morova 5 years ago from South Dakota

Thought this was great! Hoping to put this plan into action very soon.

FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

I will come back and read this hub later-I just want to comment now that I LOVE your photograph!

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Husky1970 5 years ago

Voted up and funny, princesswithapen. Thanks for providing me with a good chuckle this afternoon.

I looked for something to click on that said "confusing" but couldn't find anything. You see, I just finished publishing my first golf hub of the day and was starting on my second, since I was motivated by another princesswithapen hub to be more hubpages prolific. Then I come across a "How to do Nothing" hub by the very same highly regarded hubber.

Oh what confusion! But then I do seem to remember the use of the term satirical at the start of the hub. The goal will remain the same and, although I may do nothing the rest of the day, other than go to the movies to see "50-50", I vow to get golf hub #2 done by week's end. Following you advice is not so difficult after all.

FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

Cats have perfected the art of doing nothing. And yes, I do watch my cat sleeping and think to myself time for a nap next to Amy. She makes sleeping look delicious.

ktrapp profile image

ktrapp 5 years ago from Illinois

Your title caught my attention since I would like to learn how to do "nothing" better. And then I saw the cat - cats are absolutely the masters at doing nothing.

cjcarter profile image

cjcarter 5 years ago

This is hilarious! I love your topic idea and it was a fun read as well :) Voted up!

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femmeflashpoint 5 years ago

Up and funny! I took notes! As soon as I can find some time with nothing to do nothing with, I'm gonna get right on it!

NiaG profile image

NiaG 5 years ago from Louisville, KY

Love this!

phdast7 profile image

phdast7 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

What great orderly and organized way to maximize the pleasures of doing nothing. Fabulous picture, reminds me of my cats, who are jedi masters at doing absolutely nothing. And they don't even have to mess with the preparation part; they have me for that. :)

princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author




Yes. Most of the times it is the simple things in life that bring us joy and happiness!

Geoff Morova

I'm glad you could take tips.


"..She makes sleeping look delicious" - that was epic.


I'm glad you found this funny. I hope you had fun at the movies!


Cats are indeed, the masters at doing nothing. They make doing nothing seem very cute.


Thanks heaps!


Haha. You crack me up! Thanks for your vote.


I'm glad you liked this. Thanks for stopping by!


You must put up pictures of your cute cats. And the fact that they have you around, aren't they lucky!

P profile image 5 years ago

this hub is just too awesome - voted up. I want to spend the rest of my days doing the things described here - thanks and the guilt-free advice is just so helpful I could cry!(lol)

princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author


Doing nothing surely require a strong guilt-free mind set, doesn't it? The last thing you'd want while doing nothing is for everyone around you to nag you and try to infuse all the guilt in the world they can!

Thanks for stopping by on this one.


Maggie-May profile image

Maggie-May 5 years ago from the Island of Cape Breton to the Eastern Shores near Halifax, NS

Terrific writer!!! VERY enjoyable read! Love your expressive ways with words! Truly sensational topic too!!!

princesswithapen profile image

princesswithapen 5 years ago Author

Hi Maggie-May

I too find it amusing how something very simple yet straight forward can bring smiles to our faces. I'm glad you liked this. Thanks!


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Textured Ideas 5 years ago

Hehe this is a wonderful hub =) You have such a way with words! It can be so hard to do nothing and not get distracted by what we could be doing!

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