I am a chosen child, not an accident-An Adoption Story


This is a great subject for adopted children. I hope to present my side of the adoption process and show the advantages of being a wanted child and not an "accident"

I was born in the 1960's when "free love" was just coming into vogue. When I was adopted at three days of life, my parents were told that my mother was 45, divorced, and that I had an older sister getting married at the time that my birth mom was pregnant with me. If that is the case, then my natural mother would be in her late nineties and probably deceased.

I would like to believe that my mom was a young girl, either in high school or college and found herself pregnant with me. Abortion was not really an option back then and probably my natural dad either couldn't marry her or didn't want to. In either case, this woman carried me for the nine months and placed me up for adoption. She didn't toss me into a dumpster or have me flushed down a sink.

My parents had tried, unsuccessfully to get pregnant on their own but were never able to conceive naturally. They sought out an attorney and with in a matter of months, I was placed into their family.

I could not have asked for better parents. They raised me with strict moral values and never skirted the idea of be being adopted. My parents explained that I was a chosen child, never an accident. They raised me with love and acceptance. I even looked like my adopted mother and my sister, who is also adopted (we are not blood sisters) looks like my dad. My parents disciplined me when I needed it but never abused me. They took us to church and so we were instilled with Biblical teaching.

Some people have such a stigma about adoption. That the child is worthless and so the birth parents didn't want them. That is SO NOT the case. People who do adopt are desperate to have a child to call their own when their circumstances prevent them from having a "child of their own" Just because that child doesn't have their same DNA, they don't believe that they could love that adopted child. NEWSFLASH!!! A child is a child and needs a loving family to raise it.

I don't believe that single people should be allowed to adopt a child. A child needs a mother and a father. That's the Biblical way. A child needs both male and female influences. If a single woman or single father adopt, that child is missing 50% of the influences that will mold their lives.

I also believe that adopted children should know as soon as possible that they were chosen. I have never understood the idea of waiting until a child is 16 or 18 to spring it on them that they are not natural children. this is a major disservice to that child. When you are an adolescent, you don't know who you are anyway but then to spring it on them many years down the road, it is very confusing. They have grown up in that family and now it is sprung on them that they are not biologically related. It is devastating. And believe me, in this computer age, anyone can find out anything and it is very damaging.

So if you want a child, married and unable to have a natural child, I highly recommend adoption. There are wonderful agencies out there that will place a needy child into your life.

And isn't that what it is all about? Having a child?

Comments 10 comments

acidqueen1961 5 years ago

I'm glad to see the positive effects of adoption rather than treating adopted children as second class citizens! It sounds like you have a very healthy attitude towards your real family!


Esmeowl12 profile image

Esmeowl12 5 years ago from Sevierville, TN

Great story. Thanks for presenting the "other" side. Voted up.


Reynold Jay profile image

Reynold Jay 5 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

I've worked with inidviduals like this all my life. It’s great to see a new HUBBER and welcome to HUB writing. I found I enjoyed this very much. You have this laid out beautifully and it is easy to understand. Keep up the great HUBS. I must give this an “Up ONE and awesome.” I'm always your fan! RJ

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http://hubpages.com/education/Ben-takes-a-Quantum-...


mytrinity profile image

mytrinity 5 years ago from Amsterdam

'don't believe that single people should be allowed to adopt a child.' when you say that, do you mean that its better for the kid to stay in the orphanage than to have a loving parent?


hair bender profile image

hair bender 5 years ago Author

mytrinity, like i stated before, a child needs both masculine and feminine influences. i know that widowed people are sometimes left to raise a child on their own and that is a tragedy. maybe if there are grandparents that live close by, that child can have the influence of the missing parent. But I still believe that it takes two married persons of the opposite sex to raise a child. Also, some people believe that since they want a child, that is enough. But usually single parents also have to work and that child is placed in a daycare instead of the parent being there. Thanks for your input though!


gretchen c profile image

gretchen c 5 years ago

You never said if you have looked for your birth parents. Is that something you might do one day? Thanks for posting this hub. I voted up and you sound like a well adjusted individual


hair bender profile image

hair bender 5 years ago Author

Gretchen C, I did look into my birth parents several years ago but couldn't really find out anything but that was before the real boom on info so maybe I'll look back into it. I would only want medical info and to thank my birth-parents for being unselfish enough to give me to parents that could really give me a better life


lover of travel 4 years ago

Great hub!


anotherdivorcee 4 years ago

I like this!


traveling redhead 4 years ago

Wow! Comedy with sincerity!

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