Is It Already Time For Sex Education?

Oh the horror!!
Oh the horror!! | Source

Is It Too Soon?

Do you think 5th grade is too young to start sexual education?

  • Yes
  • No
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The Sex Education Meeting

I had just dropped off my 7 year old daughter at a Brownie meeting at the church. I was sitting on the floor of the church hallway with my friend whose daughter was also in the Brownie meeting, when she asked “Hey, what’s up with that Family Living paper the kids brought home today?” I tried to sound calm even though I had lost all ability to breathe. Then I replied with “WHAT?!” See, this was the first I had heard about this ‘thing’. It turns out my friend’s oldest daughter, who is in the same grade as my oldest daughter, brought home a paper that day. The paper announced a parent meeting in January to go over the Family Living class to begin with the new year. I asked my oldest daughter about this paper as soon as I got home – and of course she had no idea what I was talking about. Then I ran to my computer to look on the school’s website for a special announcement concerning the previously mentioned meeting. No information. Ok, perhaps Family Living wasn’t what I thought it was and the paper was only for other classes and not my daughter’s. I felt much better. Then three days later I saw the email:


FAMILY LIVING MEETING for parents of 5th graders (no students please)

Wednesday January 4, 2012 7pm in the GIS Library
-get a preview of the class
-review the power point
-pick up a very helpful book list
If you have any questions, you can reach me best by email at:


Ok, breathe, it will be ok. I made it through 5th grade sex education once before – I can handle it again. Then the questions started popping into my mind.


A Preview of Sex Education


Why do I need a preview of this class? Is it really that different from what I have lived and learned over the course of being an adult? I mean, I DO have children - so I must have remembered something right from my own sexual education class, right? And a PowerPoint?! Just exactly what are they going to show at this meeting? Will I feel comfortable sitting and seeing this presentation with my mom-friends? Will their husbands go too and make it even more uncomfortable? And when the school nurse mentions a reading list does she mean a list of books for me to read or a list of books for my daughter to read? At that point I was starting to panic.


How to Handle the Sex Education Meeting


The day of the meeting I started running through my list of questions again. Once I arrive at the meeting will it be ok to sit with my friend and her husband or should I give them some space? I know all parents react to this class in different ways…and I don’t want to be in the way of a consoling couple. But then again, what if I need consoled and my own spouse isn’t there? I mean, he had to stay home with the kids. He totally wasn't whimping out! Anyways, if I get upset is it ok to ask my friend to hold me? I don’t think she’d mind. Also, should I tell my ex-husband, the father of said fifth grader, about the meeting? I mean, do I really want to sit with him and watch the horrid PowerPoint presentation? Yes, we’ve been there and done that but it was eons ago! And lastly, but most importantly, am I allowed to be the first to raise my hand during the Q&A session? Okay, I admit it. If I have questions it's probably a good thing I'm going to this meeting. I AM a little nervous what my angelic little girl will learn. Thankfully she will be apart from the boys and in a room of girls when she gets all this information mama has been holding back. Oh, Lord - she'll know I've had... I can't go there.


My Conclusion


The Family Living/sexual education class meeting was last week and in conclusion I’d like to say that I am glad I went. I learned a lot of things. Some things made me feel better about the class and some things did not. For instance, sex education is now taught in a mixed-gender classroom to teach the students respect for the opposite sex. That doesn’t make me too comfortable. Especially since my daughter’s crush is going to be in the same class! However, I did learn that the class is called Family Living because that’s how it is taught – from the point of view that the child will be starting a family by time he or she becomes intimate with another. No, our children will not lose their innocence to a moment of passion but to a moment of marital bliss. The class will also focus on biological matters such as a female’s body parts and the changes that happen during puberty, a male’s body parts and the changes that happen to them during puberty, how an egg is fertilized and the stages of growth and development of a fetus. Oh, and of course now my daughter will know I’ve lied all these years when she asked “mommy, where do babies come from?”


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R9139 profile image

R9139 4 years ago

Very interesting topic, I had no idea education in this area started at such a young age. Although where I grew up, it was a real gutter. Many young children were abducted by predators.

Maybe from a safety point of view teaching children to understand this side of the world from an early age could be an advantage. It sounds like it will be a causal education, based more on the Human biology than the blunt details parents hope their children never find out about. I guess schools where you live hold advanced classes at later age groups, which go into the risks and consequences?

Although having said that the father in me is screaming no its far too early! I feel it should be left up to the parents of the child. Was there an option to opt out of this class on behalf of your little girl? I have always thought when it comes to matters like this it should be up to the parents to choose when to have famous "talk" with their kids and not leave it up to the education system. Or at least that is how I grew up.

Glad you made it through your meeting Ardie, I would have been itching to get out of there like any other class while back at school. Its a topic that can cause great upset for parents that is for sure.


A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 4 years ago from Texas

That was exciting! I didn't know how it was going to end....


stephhicks68 profile image

stephhicks68 4 years ago from Bend, Oregon

I have to say that I voted in favor of sex ed in 5th grade in large part because kids this age already talk among themselves and have misconceptions about the "birds and the bees." Excellent hub covering a sensitive topic.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

I remember this class... but I could have sworn it was in 7th grade and part of our health class. I am so glad my child... oh wait... she is in 4th grade... oh now you got me thinking... oh no... great hub ;)


Silwen profile image

Silwen 4 years ago from Europe

There are no reasons to fear sexual education classes. It is very important to give those kids proper information, because in one way or another they will get that knowledge. The topic is well written. Thank you.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hello R! Thanks for reading :) I was amazed at how young the kids were being given this information too. I mean, I HAVE given my daughter the basics about her own body and the changes she will notice – but I don’t think she even knows boys are different there… The class will go over intercourse (ahem – turning red) which is something I haven’t brought up. Having said that – it is a good time because I hear what the kids her age are saying on the bus and on the playground. It’s better to give them correct information than to have them all spreading misinformation. AND like the school nurse said – if WE don’t talk to the kids someone else will who may not have our children’s best interests at heart. Like you, the mommy in me is saying no, no, no but the educated woman is screaming yes, do it! And the school does hold a health class in 7th grade to deal with pregnancy and STD’s.

AA you are always such a good little reader:)I do think I have to work on the ending more though – when Im less tired. Thanks for stopping in!

Stephhicks, when all is said and done I vote in favor of the class too. The kids in my daughter’s class who have older siblings already know most of what the class will cover – and I’d rather my daughter learn the right stuff – excellent point!

Barbergirl (or should I call you barbiegirl hahah) Last school year I didn’t even KNOW this was a possibility in 5th grade. I remember having the “health” class to learn about puberty but not an actual sex ed class! Scary isn’t it?

Silwen, you are right my friend. It’s up to the parents and educators to inform the children in an appropriate way for their own wellbeing. Thank you for reading! I try not to be goofy about the class but the kid in ME still wants to fidget.


rLcasaLme profile image

rLcasaLme 4 years ago from Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Oh my! I'd be nervous as hell having no idea what my little daughter would see in such a presentation.

I laughed at the last statement when you mentioned that your daughter learned that you lied on where do babies come from. I'm wondering what you told her back then. =)


secularist10 profile image

secularist10 4 years ago from New York City

Well I grew up in CT and VT. I guess they do things differently in Ohio, lol.

In 5th grade the kids are 10 to 11 years old. Girls begin puberty at age 10 to 11, and boys age 12 to 13. Girls have their first period at 12 to 13.

So it seems like 5th grade is actually the perfect time to start educating children (that is, developing adults) on these things.

Obviously there is going to be sexual attraction among people at this age. Hell, I was attracted to a girl in 3rd grade (age 8!). By 6th grade (age 12 for me) I was full-fledged sexually attracted to lots of girls at school.

I didn't have sex until later of course, but many people will begin dating and experimenting sexually with themselves and others at this time. (This does not necessarily mean having sexual intercourse.)

It's unfortunate that so many Americans (and it is a uniquely American thing) are scared to death of sex and sexuality when it comes to their children. It leads to a lot of problems. Just because a parent is uncomfortable isn't going to change the hormonal forces in their children's bodies.

Countless studies indicate that American parents haven't the foggiest clue what their kids are up to with the opposite sex. They pathetically think "my kid is different." It's sad, really.

Sex is not something to be feared or avoided. It is a natural, normal part of life that everybody needs to learn to deal with in a responsible way that is comfortable for them. It's part of growing up.

Unfortunately, American parents tend to fear and avoid it. So the public education system has to step up and tell the kids what's what.

The US has the highest teen pregnancy rate by far in the industrialized world. That's no accident.


JohnGreasyGamer profile image

JohnGreasyGamer 4 years ago from South Yorkshire, England

In all honesty, I think it's humiliating when your parents ask you what you learnt at school, and you have to tell them that.

But on the other hand, it's important to know this stuff - it can lead to questions later on if it's not taught now. So it's best to understand at around 6th/7th grade (or year 6/7 as we call it in England).

Great Hub, as always ^^


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

I started sex ed in 5th grade. It was separate for guys and girls. We started with how puberty operates and then progressed from there. It was helpful because most girls started puberty in the coming 1-3 years.

I had it again in 7th grade, this time combined it freaked me out. It was after lunch and for my poor weak 12-13 yr old stomach it was too much to bear. But overall it was great because it helped shape my decision making for the years to come.

While I'm sure my parents could have explained it to me, as a sheltered only child it was best for me to learn in a group setting. But then again it could have worked out the other way as well. Very interesting and thought provoking hub, I enjoyed reading it.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I think 5th grade might be to late! Not to scare you but my granddaughter is 5 yrs old and is already asking questions that make me think WTH? They are innocent questions such as Justin and Selena are married cause they kissed. Why did I break up with my ex (regarding my divorce from her mama's dad) UGH! Slow the heck down! When my daughters were young and I had to teach them about sex, I referred to it as sox due to discomfort. Whew I'm glad those days are over. They are both married and doing IT, I guess! Hahaha! I loved your photo of your daughter!:) Excellent hub. Parents should do their best to answer all questions with the best of their ability. Voted UP!!! Welcome to 30/30!


Rastamermaid profile image

Rastamermaid 4 years ago from Universe

We have to arm them early,I was alittle late with my son,he was 11. I thank a bff of mine that told me to step it up and that she gave her son condoms and had the talk at 9 in depth. I asked her why,she said from the actions of the girls his age. She had to prepare him before it was too late.

It's alot to explain but coming from your parent honestly and being able to ask question is key.

Explaining that there are other things that can happen besides a baby. STDs and HIV are things you'll have to carry for life,so they need to know to wrap it up.

Of course,I preach abstinence but I would be remiss in my parental duties if I didn't explain all and the importance of protection.

Great hub!

Thanks for sharing!


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 4 years ago from India

I guess every mother goes through this at some point of time. The thing is, one can never get used to the idea of how young they are when it has to be done - and yet it just has to. Love the way you've woven humour into the situation, Ardie!


dinkan53 profile image

dinkan53 4 years ago from India

Excellent way of presentation and interesting. I couldn't see any problem in getting sex education and about what you lied, the child is anyway going to know the truth someday. Let it be in a proper way. thanks for sharing.


Haunty profile image

Haunty 4 years ago from Hungary

Wow! Plenty of comments to answer again. Great hub, Ardie! :)

My parents never got the courage to talk about this and I can remember sex ed at school was a very lame attempt, basically they just had to do it and wanted to get it out of the way as quick as possible. My class was horrible so I don't blame them.

I think a lot of kids don't believe the truth for a long time after they've learned about it. I've heard stories that they believe babies come out of mom's mouth or belly button.

When I think about those little 10-year-olds who probably still believe in many of the fairy tales, my mind screams EARLY! I would wait at least till 6th grade or for when the kids turn 12.

Though times, but I heard rumors that your kid is super intelligent, so I don't worry. Good luck, Ardie. :D


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 4 years ago from Canada

I can't remember ever attending a sex ed class... maybe it was done differently up here in Canada. lol My older kids never came home with that dreaded permission slip. They simply came home and talked about the topics being discussed in phys ed class and in health sciences beginning in Grade 5.

There were no shockers for them or for me as we already begun the "talks". When they see you with baby #5, it becomes easy to explain things. The advantages of having a large family..... :D

Nicely written Ardie!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Almost a year back I watched news report on the BBC which stated that the children as young as 6 years will be given sex education. I don't know if that government policy was implemented.

Though sex is a taboo in my country, government has implemented curriculum in the schools for sex education. Proper sex education can only stop STD and AIDS, and teen age pregnancy.

However, I hear the US has one of the highest teen age pregnancy in the developed world. Perhaps President Bush was so wrong to implement abstinence programs.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

I remember that class in 5th grade! I am 35 now, so I guess 5th grade has been the standard for a while now. However, they did still separate the boys and the girls back then during the class. Later, in 6th grade, boys and girls were taught in the same class and it was far more descriptive. It was like Sex Ed Part 2 or something. It was taught in science class at that time and it was a biological approach. In a way, that can be better.

Interesting hub and voted up!


molometer profile image

molometer 4 years ago

Education can never be to early in any subject. I have always been of the opinion, that if a child has the ability to form a question, then they it is right to give them an answer, appropriate to their level of understanding.

As they and you grow in confidence, they may be able to ask those more difficult questions.

Every year in the UK we have roughly 36,000 under 16's pregnant.

We have been teaching sex education in the UK for many years. How many more underage pregnancies would there be without sex education classes?

Great hub to get the debate going, well done voted up.


cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

Eek. I don't have kids of my own yet, but I do teach 5th grade. I know that starting in 4th grade, the kids (at least where I teach) start passing notes about crushes and the like. In 5th grade they seem to get really hormonal. You hear them talking about who is going out with who - all stuff I never dealt with until middle school. I can't decide though, if it's a catch 22: if we tell them about the birds and the bees are they better off in fifth grade or in middle school? I have no idea what age is really appropriate because sometimes I feel like if they have the information, they can "act" on it. But, if they don't and they hear it from someone else other than you, the parent, then who knows what they're telling them. It's so complicated...*sigh*


BakerRambles profile image

BakerRambles 4 years ago from Baltimore, MD

Thats awesome, and yes I am very scared of the day in which I will have to attend that meeting. I was there once though, and my parents wearnt crazy about it. See how I turned out. Goodness.


poshcoffeeco profile image

poshcoffeeco 4 years ago from Cambridgeshire

Ardie what a great subject for a hub.We have all been there at some time.Strange to think of our kids growing up and needing this information.I can remember our classes all those years ago sitting at the back giggling.Happy days.


VendettaVixen profile image

VendettaVixen 4 years ago from Ireland

Honey, relax! Wow, I remember my mom worrying about this a while back when I brought home a note stating that my class would be having a sex ed afternoon. Now, I'm 18, so I don't have any kids of my own, but I can remember what it's like to see your parent's reactions to things like this really well. I don't mean to give advice on something I might not know nothing about (me not being a mum and all,) but maybe a different perspective will help?

I know it's not a fun thing to think about, but kids already talk about crushes and the like at that age. I know my friends and any other kid I know acted very differently at home than at school, so even though it might not look like it, they're already gossiping about this stuff.

At that age you think you already know absolutely everything there is to know about relationships, so a big plus to this class is that it'll put right all the misconceptions they have about kissing, sex, babies, boys and girls, etc.

Also, I'm not sure why this is, but there's a huge difference between how today's adults and the kids of today regard sex. To an adult, it's almost taboo (or, well... it seems that way,) but as far back as I can remember, talking about those things with my friends was as easy as asking the score of last night's football game.

Just remember that though this may seem scary to you, it might not necessarily be that way for your little girl. In saying that, you obviously know your daughter better than anyone else, and in the end, you'll do the right thing for her.

(Oh, and she won't resent you telling her that babies come from somewhere else. I've never heard of anyone being mad at their parents for that. Heck, I don't even think of it as a lie.)


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 4 years ago from India

Oh dear - the travails of parenthood! Hang in there, Ardie!


Cris A profile image

Cris A 4 years ago from Manila, Philippines

That tough, huh? Anyways, I'm with the feline one on this one - hang in there! And oh good luck on the challenge - write like it's the last 30in30 challenge on HP! :D


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

rLcasaLme, I was nervous until I went to the meeting but now I see it’s really just the basics. I don’t know what I was thinking hahah Oh, and you probably really don’t want to know where I told her babies came from. Let’s just say she thought chickens pooped out eggs and babies came out the same way :X

secularist10, holy cow I better get my glasses on! You are right on your timeline of average age of onset of puberty, which I had already discussed with my daughter since most women in my family hit puberty around 10 or 11 (she’s 10). I never realized little boys started having attractions so early...I was never really interested in boys until I was much older because I was so busy with other stuff. I figure if my daughter will be surrounded by these little boys she better have an idea what’s going through their little heads! Thanks for stopping in and commenting :)

John GG – Its funny you mention the parents questioning because we were encouraged to ask daily “What did you learn in Family Living today?” I have no problem listening to my daughter describe what they learn but I know Daddy will! Thanks for reading

Alecia, welcome! I can only imagine learning about STD’s and the like right after lunch, ugh… I have had talks with my daughter about the birds and the bees but I’ve always let her ask the questions with minimal prodding. She can actually say anything and she knows I won’t be shocked and I will answer her honestly. I can just hear the questions that will start in a couple weeks!!!

Hi Lady Sunshine! 5?! Oy noooo. You called it sox hahaha that’s so funny. I wonder if my daughter will opt for a code word too – probably not. She’ll love confusing her little sisters by saying a word and following with “Oh you can’t say that, you’re too little to understand”. I figure by time I get to number three I won’t even have to have “the talk”. Thanks for reading!!

Hi Rastamermaid, I love your name! You’re right – the earlier the better. The school nurse said “If you don’t tell them someone else will. This way you have control over them getting the RIGHT information”. It’s great you had the talk with your son and prepared him to deal with other people. I think that’s the way I need to look at it. I’m not preparing my baby for sex I’m preparing her to deal with everyone else out there who might look at her that way. Thanks for stopping in :)

Hello Shalini! Thanks for seeing my humour – it helps me survive. I’ll be honest and admit my daughter is all for taking the class and learning about the body. She’s very science-minded so she sees this as just another learning opportunity, whereas I’m freaking out hahah

Dinkan53, Thank you very much! I always knew my daughter would find out I lied but my explanation for how we got babies was so far-fetched that she actually already knew I was lying! She never really pushed the issue so I never went into details. Thanks for reading!

Aaah Haunty, I love the comments! I like knowing I’ve reached someone :) even if it isnt all good. As for your class being bad I don’t believe it! Okay, maybe I do. And I don’t blame the teacher. I wonder what my daughter will think when she hears how babies are made and where they come from…she’s already horrified to have kids because she thinks they get cut out of the woman’s belly thanks to an aunt who had a c-section! Yes, she is bright so I think it will be ok once she stops giggling!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi Beth100! I don’t recall my mom ever getting a letter or anything about us starting our sex ed classes either. I think we just got split into boys in one room and girls in another to learn about puberty and babies. Then later in health class we hit on the topic of sex…but who really remembers? Ahahah baby 5, yes. I imagine it does get quite a bit easier. My babies were all so close together that the first doesn’t recall a time without the other two and vice versa. Thanks for stopping in!

Vinaya :) Yes, the right education is necessary to prevent STD’s, AIDS, and unwanted pregnancies. If my daughter has to learn about sex now, at age 10, in order to keep healthy and living a good life then I am all for the class. I think it’s up to parents to talk to children about practicing safe sex. When I was in high school I had a steady boyfriend – we were dating for a year when my mom asked me if I needed to get birth control. She laid down the law - NO kid of hers was going to get pregnant young. Thanks for reading Vinaya!

Hi Jeannie, Thanks for the votes! I think the kids will get a more detailed picture of sex and STD’s and what-not in 6 or 7 grade like you did. I think it’s better that way too so the kids can have time to absorb the information before they’re bombarded with even more.

Molometer, hello again! You’re right – even though I think of my baby as well…as a baby!...she is really a young woman. She has a right to the information that will keep her safe and healthy. Your point is an excellent one – maybe it’s not that sex ed is THAT bad – maybe it’s THAT good. What would happen without it? Well for one the parents would have to step up. And I don’t know how well that would go!

Cclitgirl, omg’sh it’s great to hear from someone who is inside it all! I don’t know how the average 5th grader acts…only my daughter and her friends. And because they’re the gifted students they don’t really act like the other kids. If the other kids are getting hormonal then it’s time to talk the talk! Thanks for an insider’s view :)

Mr Baker, yes, you will go through it too hahah Maybe I’ll let you know how it went in a few years so you can know what to expect! And I won’t even think about how you turned out in terms of my daughter – yikes! Kidding, kidding. You’re an accomplished writer who adores his daughter so I think you did alright ;)

Hi Mr Coffee Beans! I can just picture you sitting in the back giggling too. While talking to a friend about this one day her little girl said “if this class goes anything like the plant reproduction cycle the boys will all end up in the hall.” Thanks for reading!

Hello VendettaVixen! Thank you for offering a young person’s view to this mess :) Misconceptions is a great topic here. If the kids are talking about all this on the playground I can only imagine what they are repeating and not getting right! I’d rather my daughter have the right information than wrong information that might get her into trouble. You offer some very sound advice and if you ever do become a mum your children will be blessed to have such an understanding adult in their corner. As for the lie – she knows I’m not telling the truth because I change the explanation each time she asks and it gets more and more outlandish each time! Thanks so much for adding to this conversation.

Feline Prophet, thanks so much for your encouragement hahah

Cris A there you are! Thank YOU too for the encouragement on both fronts. Im trying to keep to writing – Im not very good with deadlines…Im a free soul and this kills me ? Thanks for reading!


jenubouka 4 years ago

Hi Ardie!

Wonderful and enlightening read. I remember this class, many, many years ago. The girls and boys were separated and were taught the basics of a period and how it take a boy to make a baby, I think the boys were given bananas and a product to exhibit what to do with that product, I just remember being jealous because all the boys were eating bananas at recess.....


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Oh jenubouka! You made me do a belly laugh - I hope I dont pee my pants :D I am just imagining all those boys working over the nanner and then peeling it down to eat it....oh goodness. Thanks for the comedy relief girl!


kelleyward 4 years ago

Oh no.... I'm not ready for this. I remember those days and the confusion I felt looking at all the slides of veneral diseases. Gross! Not sure what it's like now but I can only imagine


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi Kelley! I actually think my daughter would love seeing the slides of the diseases...she's a strange child and if she sees someone is hurt she asks two things every time without fail 1) are you ok? 2) can I touch it? hahah


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

K Artie - were freaked out together on this one:) lol. I also have 3 girls - even though I went through all of this with my 23 year old....my 10 & 12 year old are all new to this. My oldest was fine and she still has not ever had any kids:))))) lol. Maybe the film was effective!

I hate that part of their education though it's necessary. They still split our girls and boys up. So glad! She already didn't want to go to school that day:) lol. I talked with her and she was fine but it's just so young for them to think about this junk!


jenubouka 4 years ago

Anytime Ardie, again imagine 150 boys running the playground with peeled bananas chasing and teasing the girls, later we learn this is a tactic at the local bar.


molometer profile image

molometer 4 years ago

You have tackled a very tricky topic in a great way. It has really fired up a great debate. When our 3 children were young we always had a ground-breaking copy of a video titled 'How life begins' or something like that .

It was produced I believe by the BBC education unit and it showed the process from beginning to end in a very easy to understand way. It wasn't dumbed down but was treated as a series of processes beginning with puberty onto impregnation right through to childbirth full on, noisy and messy.

Our children never had to ask us anything as they already knew. We treated this topic as just another aspect of one's life. Forewarned is forearmed, they were not relying on the gossip of the playground.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Not having kids you have now made me curious as to how things are handled here in Latvia. I have this sneeky suspicion that sex education is left entirely up to the parents. I think it's best that they have it at school because it's a rather difficult subject and suppose you leave out some very important detail. I'd rather have my child come home with questions and info they got at school so we can go through it together.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

RHW, so you've been there and you've seen the program work! I think as soon as my daughter sees the film she will be so grossed out hahah I wish the class was more focused on puberty and changes but I dont have a say in this. I did try to talk to my daughter about the birds and bees to forewarn her but she wanted to wait until class and talk about it after :P

Jenubouka - some things never change, huh? LOL

molometer, its great to see you again. I wondered how this would go over. I thought there would be very strong opinions but everything has stayed civil! I have a feeling I will be filling in a lot of gaps after this class. They wont even touch on birth control, STD's, abortion, or same-sex relationships... And I WILL fill the gaps because I am much too young to be a granny anytime soon.

Hi Gypsy Rose :) Im glad it's not just up to the parents too because so many parents in the states seem too busy for their kids and this would be one more thing to NOT take care of. A tag team approach is best!


secularist10 profile image

secularist10 4 years ago from New York City

Ardie:

This article in the FT today made me think of you (might require free subscription): http://www.ft.com/intl/cms/s/2/1c9567f8-3c0b-11e1-...

It's about the differences between Dutch teen sex and American teen sex. From the article:

9/10 white American middle class parents would definitely not allow their teen to spend the night with their boyfriend or girlfriend in their home. 9/10 white middle class Dutch parents would allow or consider it.

Dutch parents, by allowing the sleepover, enjoy significant control:

"The parents can put their daughter on the pill beforehand. The sex happens practically under their noses. The partner – whom they probably already know – might be summoned for family breakfast the morning after. If they don’t like him, they can subtly start ousting him. If they do, he is adopted as a kind of son-in-law... Often the teen sex evolves into a bland mini-marriage. When we were young, a Dutch friend told me he couldn’t dump his girlfriend because his parents would be upset."

Unsurprisingly, Dutch teen girls are 5 times less likely than American girls to get pregnant. It continues:

"By contrast, Americans banish these activities to zones of disorder. American parents forbid sleepovers, and so teen sex typically happens without contraception, in places like the backseats of cars. Kids have to 'sneak around', something that Schalet calls 'an important ritual of American adolescence'. In fact, sneaking around enhances the thrill."

Activities like sex and drugs that in the US are thrilling and exciting because of the taboo, in the Netherlands are made into safe, boring things approved by authority figures.

Interesting stuff.


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hello secularist10 :) I'm amazed - there are quite a few differences between Dutch teen sex figures and American teen sex stats! The numbers are there to support your side so who am I to argue? I do think Americans need to make sex less taboo. If we take the thrill out of it and make it more natural perhaps kids will wait longer or act smarter about it.

I have had several very open conversations with my daughter since publishing this hub. I was trying to prepare her for the sex ed class, and amazingly she is taking a rather scientific approach to it all. She doesn’t think sex is evil or dirty so hopefully that will be my best weapon for the future when it comes time for her to make certain decisions. She will know she can come to me for ANYTHING.

Thank you for sharing your article with me and the others here. It definitely gives us all something to think about ;)


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Hey Ardie,

Funny that I do not have kids, will not ever be having kids at this point, and yet I totally loved this article and all it's comments. Honestly, your writing style and humor are very entertaining to me. I can see so many future hubs just about your girls growing up. And I think you are right. By the time the youngest will go through "this" - she will have learned so much from her sisters that it will be a breeze. I know, I'm the oldest of three girls!

Sharyn


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

Hi Sharyn! I dont think it matters if you have the kids or not - just thinking about having "the talk" with a kid can make anyone nervous!!! The comments have been very entertaining here. When I hit publish all those days ago I was nervous about the extremists but I havent seen any of those thankfully. And now that I know you are the oldest of three girls I will be coming to YOU for advice and opinions!!


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

I do get a kick out of your sense of humor. I had to teach this class to middle school students; I think I was more nervous than they were. The diagrams of the sexual organs had some kids covering their eyes. Glad I survived and great hub!


Ardie profile image

Ardie 4 years ago from Neverland Author

billybuc! I will never think about you the same now :D There is NO way I could teach this class to anyone...not kids, not adults. I would die of complete embarrassment. I know my daughter was a mess the day she learned how the sperm meets the egg...yup. She now hates the word 'insertion'


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 3 years ago

Todays children grow up faster then when I was a kid in the 70's.It is so important to be informed and teach children the right information at an early age.Another informative and important hub.


LEWMaxwell profile image

LEWMaxwell 3 years ago from Tulsa, Oklahoma

I think all parents have this panic attack when their own children have to go through that class. I know I did. Thank you for sharing.


Kathryn Stratford profile image

Kathryn Stratford 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

Wow, that must be one of the most awkward subjects to worry about when you have kids. I really wouldn't know what to expect, because my parents wouldn't let me and my two brothers go to the sex education class. But I can imagine how much I would have been blushing if I had gone. It's good that, as parents, they let you know what the class is like. If I had kids I would want to know, and I really doubt most kids would be too happy to explain how the class went afterward. This is definitely informative and funny.

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