Martian Tourister

Martian Tourister, rickzimmerman 2010
Martian Tourister, rickzimmerman 2010

[Dateline — Olympus Mons, Mars, 11 November 2033] The Samsonite Corporation today heralded the 100 Year Anniversary of the founding of the American Luggage Works — creator of the American Tourister brand, and a company long since acquired by Samsonite — by Rhode Island immigrant luggage-maker Sol Koffler.

If you are of sufficient age, you may recall American Tourister’s popular TV commercials in which a gorilla tested the luggage’s durability by jumping on it and thrashing it about its cage.

Well, now Samsonite has embodied an impressive array of high-tech improvements in its new ‘Martian Tourister’ line (MT©), arriving at stores just in time for the inaugural launches of Virgin Spaceway’s London-to-Mars interplanetary route.

Such items as GPS locator, NASA-licensed telemetry, emergency oxygen tanks (both adult and child size), voice-command activation, and titanium-niobium alloy finish are standard on all MT© products. To suit Mars’ lighter gravity, the MT© line comes in significantly larger sizes than Earth-bound luggage; the largest MT© bag stands 11 feet tall, and is equipped with heavy-duty tank treads for self-propulsion. And, as Mars is distinctly lacking in available water, each MT© bag and valise incorporates a personal USPW (urine-&-sweat-to-potable-water) unit capable of recycling 1 or more liters of the carrier’s fluids per day. [The top-of-the-line ‘World-Beater’ model comes with a USPW unit capable of making cocktail-size ice cubes as well.]

The entire Martian Tourister line is offered in just one color: a fluorescent lime green hue that the manufacturer claims has the best overall visibility against the iron oxide cast of the Red Planet. Imagine — never losing your luggage again!

More by this Author

Comments 2 comments

stars439 profile image

stars439 6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Wonderful hub. Very cute about the luggage never getting lost. God Bless you. Like the drawing too.

rickzimmerman profile image

rickzimmerman 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio Author

Thanks, stars!

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article