Maybe I'm just wasting my time. Then again maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm going against every piece of advice that has been given to me over the last couple of years. Maybe I should continue to listen to my heart more than anything else. Maybe my heart will end up killing me, then again maybe not. Who knows right? Maybe the life I lived and shared with others over the years wasn't my life at all. Maybe it was a dream that I still long to be reality. A dream that if were true would complete the answers to the question... who am I? Some say that the experiences that we share over the years carve us into person we will be. That the life we left behind paints the picture of who we are. Well if that is the case then I'm a Picasso painting. Decisions we made during our most indecisive moments seem to be a blur as we now deal with the outcome of those decisions. Decisions that seem to be out of the blue when in fact we should have seen them coming. Maybe you can't run from the past and move on. Maybe the emotional weight, though it makes you stronger, only slows you down. Maybe it's ok to carry it for a while, but when do you let it go? How do you let it go? Maybe you don't. Maybe trying is not enough, or maybe it is. Everyone wants a chance at whatever makes life worth living. How could one have a chance if they don't take a chance? To take a chance is to take a risk and to take a risk is to “have a chance” which makes life worth living. So why do we regret it in the end, and spend our whole lives trying to forget it. Trying to forget the very things that remind us how alive we really are.
If one may chose to leave this place
before a chance to say goodbye
If tears are running down your face
then one who cares will wipe your eye
if tears should fall upon the ground
by deep emotions as you cry
Then earth will savor sorrows sound
with sweetness from your lullaby
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