Moonpie Mike on Extended EVA

Moonpie Mike on Extended EVA, rickzimmerman 2010
Moonpie Mike on Extended EVA, rickzimmerman 2010

Moonpie Mike always wanted to be an astronaut. In childhood he earned his nickname not from the ice cream treat (of which, nonetheless, Mike was exceedingly fond), but from the fact that he would, each night, in his mother’s words, “stare at the moon so much that it plumb made him pie-eyed”.

But it was, ironically, his fondness for moonpies that almost kept Mike earthbound. By the time he was ready to apply for the astronaut training program, his livelong consumption of those delectable confections had made him rather bulbous and bloated. It looked like Mike might never slim and trim down enough to get in under the extraterrestrial wire, so to speak.

Enter grandperé MegaloMike, the First (he of the 100% ownership of MegaMaxiMart of Tickfaw, Louisiana). Seems MegaloMike simply placed a call to the White House and asked how much it would take to double NASA’s budget for the next seven fiscal years — seven being just about how many years Moonpie might be able to stay in any astronautical capacity. Then Moonpie’s grampus simply cut a check payable to the U.S. of A.’s space program, and — SNAP! — Mike the younger was being fitted for a fatty spacesuit (with extra bulbous helmet).

Here we see Moonpie Mike on an extended EVA, perhaps planning his next scheduled space experiment, or, more likely, just staring pie-eyed at the moon all over again.

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