One Tough Arachnophobic


With the warm days of spring come open windows and doors to let in the warm breezes and fresh California air. Unfortunately, those open doors are welcome mats for all the bugs in the neighborhood to come on over to my house, mainly because they know how afraid I am of them.

Sure, in the day time, when I’m brave and I have the hours of daylight to protect me, I’m rational and know that I’m a ba-zillion times bigger than they are and all I have to do is raise my foot and squish them. During the day, though, I don’t see as much as an ant, nothing. When the sun goes down is when I have my problems. I can’t figure out where they come from. I have an exterminator. Sometimes I wonder if he’s using aracho-pheramones around my house.

Of all the bugs in the world that I’m afraid of spiders can make me jump from a very high place, and spiders are what I have the most of. I am deathly afraid of them. I think they seek me out just to taunt me. Well, last night I saw my very first spider of the year.

I’m sure they’re in my house, but as long as they stay hidden from me in the garage, closets, or deep in the corners of boxes where I don’t have to see them, I don’t mind that they live here.

Last night I was watching TV, I wanted some munchies to go with my TV show, so I went out to the kitchen, when I turned the light on there was a spider scurrying, as if he had on ice skates, across the kitchen floor – toward me. He was a small thing, but my fear made him big enough to cast a shadow on the wall.

I had to think fast or he was going to kill me; well, scare me to death. I had no shoes on, so I couldn’t step on him, I don’t think I would have had the nerve to have his smushed dead carcass under my foot anyway. Just the thought gives me the creeps.

I hopped around the kitchen from one foot to the other as if the floor was made of hot coals. It seemed like he was following me, he stayed close to me as I hopped and screamed, screamed and hopped. I yanked open a cupboard and pulled out a box of Cheez-its. I took aim and as soon as he was still I took out all of my frustrations out on him. I hit him so hard there was nothing left, no spider juice, no spider bones, nothing - job done. The box went to the trash can.

I sprayed floor cleaner on the floor and mopped up my mental image of the spiders smushed body, then I went back to watching my TV show. As I watched I remembered what I originally went into the kitchen for, Cheez-its. The Cheez-it’s that are now sitting in the bottom of my trash can.

Comments 4 comments

tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 4 years ago from New York

Cute hub. Poor spider though! You did a nice job of explaining your fear that led to that poor spider's demise. I could almost see you hopping around the kitchen. I voted this up and funny.

teddi6 profile image

teddi6 4 years ago from Northern California Author

Thank you. In hindsight it's funny, but in the midst of it I was crying for my mommy...I'm a grown woman :).

Voyager28 profile image

Voyager28 4 years ago from Chandler, AZ

That hub article is too funny. I dread spiders too, especially tarantellas. I live in AZ and luckily have only seen one in the wild thus far. Nasty things huh

Teddi6 4 years ago

Thank you.

Arizona is gorgeous, but the wildlife is a bit too wild for me. I marvel at your spunk!

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