Stop trying to control other people's lives: you have no right

Allow people the opportunity to make their own decisions


I see it all the time. People interfering, becoming a hindrance, or an obstacle, in other people lives. We know that children need our direction in their lives at times because they are children, and therefore, they expect our input or advice. But when it comes to giving adults advice, lets give them a chance to ask us for our input or advice.

It bothers me that some people think that the have a right to give people advice, even when it is not asked for, or appreciated. Religious people are often guilty of this violation, that is, trying to give people advice when it is not wanted or appreciated. People's lives are important and they have a right to try to make choices or decisions for themselves. If they run into difficulties, or have a particularly difficult situation or problem that they cannot solve, give them the opportunity to approach you to ask for help. Don't force your advice upon an individual before they have had the time ask you for it.

The hub may seem like a waste of time talking about the obvious. We all know that we have no right to mess around with other people's business, or to give out unwanted, or force unasked for advice upon others. But since I see people making this mistake, I have taken the opportunity to talk about, for the sake of people who may want to avoid the mistake. Even though I am a doctor (a fairly decent doctor, even if I have to say so myself), I am very careful, that is, extremely reluctant, to give out free advice when it is not asked for. I don't do it. A doctor have to be particularly careful about giving out advice because he or she is held accountable, under the law, what the advice that he or she gives to people.

On occasion, I may give out free advice to people if the ask me a question. But even then, I don't care to give out advice very often, unless it is to answer a simple and obvious question, to do a person a favor because I have a lots of knowledge in my head that I feel fortunate to have. And according to my world-view, the knowledge that I have is a gift from God, and not because I am so special, or so deserving of the knowledge. I have this world-view that physicians are born and not made. In saying this I mean, we physicians were born with special gifts that facilitate the ease with which we learn medicine and surgery. It is a gift that we physicians were born with. Many physicians will not agree with me in my thinking on this subject. Many physicians will say that it was because of their hard work, intelligence, gifts and self-worth that they are able to be "great physicians." In other words, they are "self-made." Trust me, a great physician is born unto greatness and the education process and society just facilitates the process of "a physician's becoming." I know, because I have gone through the process and I have studied the process in other physicians during a period of 20 years.

To end this discourse. Let people be. Let them grow to reach their full potential. Don't mess with people's lives. Give advice only when it is asked for. And try to be the best that you can be. I hope this discourse have been useful. "As you go, Peace."

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Comments 8 comments

Marie-AnneLeClerc 5 years ago

I agree with you Dr Haddox its a 100% score from me...


Dr. Haddox profile image

Dr. Haddox 5 years ago from a Franklin, Tennessee native, who travels globally. Author

Marie-Anne,

I appreciate your comment and support. When one writes a hub of this Nature, he or she is not sure how well it will be received by readers, so I really needed your input. Thank you.

Dr. Haddox


Ruthcurley profile image

Ruthcurley 5 years ago from Bozrah, CT

Yes, we human beings do LOVE to interfere in other's lives. Probably to cover up the fact that we can't advise ourselves. A great Hub.


Dr. Haddox profile image

Dr. Haddox 5 years ago from a Franklin, Tennessee native, who travels globally. Author

I like your very wise comment, Ruthcurley. When I wrote this hub I was hoping it would, somehow, touch many people, helping to make the world more peaceful, a better place to live for all of us. Again, thank you.

Dr. Haddox


Me 4 years ago

Advice isn't control, it's just recommendations suggested to the person who has the problem, given by a person who went through a similar problem once. It's not controlling if you just offer them information that they may or may not use. But maybe it's a good idea to think about pointing out to people, before you give advice, that you don't intend to tell them what to do but only to share your experiences as options that they may think about.


Dr. Haddox profile image

Dr. Haddox 4 years ago from a Franklin, Tennessee native, who travels globally. Author

Yes, the above comment is a good one. There are times or situations when those giving out "good advice" really mean well. Thank you. Dr. Haddox


Fikri 23 months ago

Simply wish to say your article is as hntnissaiog. The clearness in your post is just spectacular and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your RSS feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the gratifying work.


Dr. Haddox profile image

Dr. Haddox 23 months ago from a Franklin, Tennessee native, who travels globally. Author

Thank you, Fikri. I appreciate your kind words for the quality of my work. Yes you have my permission to use my RSS feed to keep up to date on my posts.

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