Teachers Hugging and Touching Students – Is it wrong?

Hugging is something you tend to do to your friends, family, people you feel warm towards and not something you would expect from a Teacher to his/her students, but sometimes it can’t be helped.

 

Teacher Hugging

“It can’t be helped?”

What I mean is this. Example. I teach adults and on the last academic day before Christmas – after having snacks, drinks, exchange of gifts, cards etc everyone leaves. Most students give me a Hug before they leave. Some kiss on the cheeks twice or maybe not quite on the cheeks. Some simply wave goodbye.This also happens at the end of an Academic year where students leave for another class. I would feel awkward if I said “don’t hug me” etc. So, in the spirit of festivities or end of term, I’m polite about it and Hug them back, knowing that it means nothing more than best wishes. ~ Farewell Hug?

If a student is distraught, has just had some bad news, some teachers give a comforting Hug. Also it could be that a student who started learning with you and hadn’t got a clue how to string a sentence together. (E.g ESOL Adult learner). Later in the year, they come up to you looking proud and say they have found a very good Job. Sometimes, you just want to Hug them because you know how far they’ve come and you are happy for them. ~ Encouraging Hug or Congratulating Hug?

Having written this, I feel Teachers should still be wise about it. I visit some websites and have read posts about teen girls being attracted to their male Teacher. Maybe if a teacher knows someone has a crush on them, then instead of hugging - just offer a handshake.

Innocent Hugging at work turns to Sexual Assault Claim

GP who Hugged Crying patient recently cleared of sexual Assault in Dec 09.

Patient’s complaint: “She had complained that he had put a comforting arm around her while she was crying.” Full story

Touching

Sometimes, it so happens that Teachers touch students. I’ve had an instance where a student cried in class and it just seemed normal for me to pat/rub her shoulders a little bit, for comfort. We were doing an exercise on Jobs and she just burst into tears. She then told the class that a few days ago, she had gone for a test for a job (some jobs have tests before interview) she said the people were horrible to her and made her feel so bad etc. She was Chinese, with little knowledge of English at the time, so must have found it difficult to communicate and they were inconsiderate.

Now for men, I would talk to them softly, ask if I can get them a drink or if they’d like to go home. etc (I’ve had a case where a man was upset due to bereavement). For some strange reason, my brain cells don’t communicate with my hands, as much as I would like to comfort a male student in distress. I feel bad about it but, The “education system” rings bells in my head. One has to be so careful in education nowadays - even something as simple as taking kids out for swimming lessons and taking innocent pics of them, could be seen in a “negative” way.

Sometimes, professionally - innocent gestures can get people into trouble.

.

Even Politicians Hug.....

So, in summary, I don’t think there is anything wrong in Hugging Students. As long as it’s not a daily occurrence. Teachers should be wise about it (maybe think twice) and if there is a student who likes to Hug them everyday when they come to class, then I think they might have to have a quiet word with the student. It would be interesting to know what others feel about this issue. Thank you for reading.

~ Update ~

Very sensitive Topic - There are over 150 comments below from people expressing their opinion on this.


Loving this Hug. :-)

More by this Author


Comments 243 comments

ryankett 6 years ago

Hugging adults, nothing wrong with that. If I taught children I would 100% avoid hugging any of them, ever. Period. Happy new year!


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

It is such nasty world that the most innocence hug can get you into deep trouble and that can be soul destroying.


Ralph Deeds profile image

Ralph Deeds 6 years ago

Caution is advisable. But I wouldn't condemn it. I was fond of my 10th grade English teacher, and I'm sure that I was one of her favorites. I used to wonder why she drove on by and didn't offer me a ride when I was walking home. She was a wise woman as well as a good teacher.


Pete Maida profile image

Pete Maida 6 years ago

About 25 years ago I was working in Spain. While I was there I went to the beach with some people I met. One of the ladies was a teacher and a little girl ran up a jumped in her lap. They played for a few minutes and she ran off. I thought that was something that used to be in America but probably could never be again.

There is just too much chance that a hug will be misinterpreted; if I were a teacher I wouldn not chance it.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

I think that hugging is fine as long as there's no "groping" involved :D

You brought up a very interesting and controversial subject, as everyone nowadays (beginning in the sue-crazy days) are always looking to slap another person with a lawsuit or at least get the person fired. When I was a kid in school, many children cried when leaving their teachers for the summer break and so would initiate the hug. Each the teachers would always reassure them that they'd see them again int the fall/autumn.

When I was a camp counselor, I hugged all my boys by the end of the camp session. Seriously, I was their friend, father, and brother all rolled into one for 3 to 6 weeks all hours of the day and night. You can't blame them (or me for that matter) for getting attached.

With that said, I think we should let the children initiate it first if anything. The last thing I'd want to do is scar a child.

Thanks so much for a great hub, Lady_E! Happy New Year and Cheers!

Dohn


resspenser profile image

resspenser 6 years ago from South Carolina

I am sure Democrats hug (they do everything else!) but I believe the two guys in the photo are Republicans.

Enjoyed the hub and here's a hug!


quietnessandtrust profile image

quietnessandtrust 6 years ago from Carbon Canyon, California

Great hub!!!

I seemed to be asking myself while reading it though...

"does the need for such an article reveal the times we live in?"

Reminds me of a passage that reads...

"in the last days, the love of many will grow cold"

Glad to see you address this rather strange question.

~Shalom


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

** Thanks for your comments Ryan. Playing it safe...

** Hello hello, I agree it's nasty, but that's the world we live in now. Nice to read from you.

** Hi Ralph, that's interesting. She was wise. You made me remember - I used to give one of my students a lift to College on my way. She was heavily pregnant and i'd give her a lift back home too, but if I were a man - who knows what people might have been saying? Nice to read from you again.

** Hi Pete, that's how life should be. I also think especially for the young ones - when their parents are not around, sometimes they need a little hug. Regards.

** Dohn, I really laughed when I read your comments. I like how you treated the boys. People don't realise sometimes that young ones bond with their teacher and a Hug could be Brotherly or Fatherly. Happy new Year to you too. Thx.

** Hi resspenser, how've you been? Nice to read from you and thanks for the Hug.

Ps. thanks for the note - I changed it to Politicians. Maybe my Contact lenses have expired. lol


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Quietnessandtrust,

Interesting comments you made. Let's hope it doesn't grow any colder. Nice to read from you.


jdove-miller 6 years ago

When I taught high schoolers, I did not hug, and they noticed. They found it strange. On exam day close to my retirement, a whole class ambushed me and did a group hug with me in the center. They knew I'd be uncomfortable; that's why they planned it. I do hug former students (graduates) when i run into them, however.


SEO Expert Kerala profile image

SEO Expert Kerala 6 years ago from KERALA

It depends upon the intention of teachers


H P Roychoudhury profile image

H P Roychoudhury 6 years ago from Guwahati, India

Hi Lady_E,

It is a nice hub for every body to learn. Hugging is nothing but the expression of love and affection and not other way. To curve public’s criticisms, it is better to be wise and careful during hugging too. One should not lose oneself. The depth of hugging should follow the age as well as the gender and also the time as well. Thanks.


hafeezrm profile image

hafeezrm 6 years ago from Pakistan

Nice hub but hugging be avoided when it is fraught with sexual connotation. I genearally pat my male students but never a female one. I must say that hugging or touching shows warmth and sincerty and has good effect but upto a limit.


LPinky profile image

LPinky 6 years ago

What an interesting topic. My son is a 27 year old junior high school teacher, and quit handsome if I may say so my self. This is his second year teaching and the first thing I told him was to be very careful around his students, especially the young ladies. I have worked teenage girls who have shared many fantasies regarding their male teachers. Most are just young girls looking for love and unfortunately they will fantasize about a male teacher who is giving them what they feel is positive attention, and in their minds it can become a dangerous component. So I agree we live in a time when things are just out of control. There are teachers who have done things that have blown my mind. And there are students with emotional issues that have gotten many innocent teachers in trouble. Caution!!! And God Bless You Lady_E and every teacher who commits themselves to helping others.


quietnessandtrust profile image

quietnessandtrust 6 years ago from Carbon Canyon, California

How about we resort to bowing? LOL :-P


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago

Lady E, Great topic, My natural response is to reach out. But the reality is one must be careful today. Your good intentions could be totally misconstrued! There is hardly a week that passes that there is not some inappropiate accusation of touching here in America.

When a child or an adult is stuttering putting your hand on their shoulder usually relaxes them. When someone is distraught or mourning a hug is appropiate. A pat on the back is encouraging! I believe one must be aware and respond with care yet cautiously. No need to be paranoid just extra careful not to put yourself in a possible compromising situation...

Thank you for sharing and bringing attention to an innocent gesture that could possibly be misunderstood. Many varied interesting responses! As always much Love & Blesssings!


fishtiger58 profile image

fishtiger58 6 years ago from Momence, Illinois

Hugging children in a professional setting is probably not a good idea in this day and age. To many are quick to point their fingers and cry child molestation. And even if you are innocent this accusation will stay with you for life. Someone will always remember it. I used to run a kids bowling league and I only hugged a kid when their parent was present and watching. The rest a small quick pat on the back as I was telling them good job or something to that nature. Thanks for a great article.


hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

Good hub Lady. If you want my opinion on the subject for what regards children it's better to keep always an eye open, but it's quite natural for them to express feelings toward their teacher. It's not something reserved only for their parents. As regards adults things should go smooth, but in this world it's better to be detached a little, just to avoid being sued for nothing. Children must be protected at all times and all costs, but we can't live like robots, humans are social animals. Of course there are also cultural differences to take into account: in Italy we always hug and kiss with friends while in other countries a handshake is more than enough. There is a saying here in Italy that many times "The one which sees the flaw has it". Most of the times there is nothing sexual involved.

But as I said better keep an eye always open. :)


Philipo profile image

Philipo 6 years ago from Nigeria

Ordinarily, teachers hugging and touching students sholdn't be an issue but this depends on the people and the place involved. Adult male students may read different meanings to it if it comes from female teachers. Adult female students may also read different meanings to it if it comes from male teachers. In all however, it is good to play safe.


andromida profile image

andromida 6 years ago

I agree with you that there is nothing wrong in hugging students occasionally. In fact it gives lots of moral boost to weak students.I like the pic. of Siberian tiger.


Cari Jean profile image

Cari Jean 6 years ago from Bismarck, ND

I remember getting hugs from my female teachers when I was in elementary school but I don't think I would have liked if my male teachers would have given me a hug. Nowadays I think all professionals need to be extra vigilant when it comes to touching - it can be easily misconstrued and also the parent of a child can try to turn it into a sexual harrassment case just to get the money.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

** Hi J Dove-Miller - I like the way your students ambushed you. lol. I'm sure they probably understood why you didn't. They must have felt at ease with you to do that. Nice to hear from you.

** Thanks for your comments SEO Expert. Best wishes.

** Cheers Roychoudhury, I agree. One must be wise about it. Thanks for stopping.

** Hello LPinky. I'm glad you spoke to him because no one really sits teachers down to talk about this. I was separating 2 teenage girls fighting years ago and then got told by a teacher that I shouldn't have got involved. She said if I was a male teacher, they could say I touched them while separating them. (rolling my eyes back). So should I have just stood there, while they were punching each other and said softly "please stop fighting?".

So it's nice to be warned in advance. Regards.

** Hello again Quietness. Bowing? Well......... :)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

** Hello Deborrah

Lots of words of wisdom from you. I also feel some teachers who are parents just react as if it were their child. That Maternal or Paternal instinct. It's just doesn't feel right to have someone crying their eyes out and just stand there saying "take it easy". As you noted, it's a natural response. Thanks for stopping. Best wishes. :)

** Hello Fishtiger - noting your comments "not a good idea in this day and age". The world has changed so much. Thanks for stopping. :)

** Hypnodude, I hear yah. Wise words indeed. Nice to read from you again.

** True Philipo - the opposite sex might see it differently. Na Wa o! Lol.

** Afeezrm - I like your comments and appreciate you stopping by.

** Hi Andromida, It does actually give moral boost to weak students. Interesting Point.

** Rightly written Carie Jean. All professionals have to be vigilant as we can note from the article in the Hub. A Doctor being accused of sexual assault for comforting a patient in tears. Thanks for stopping.


Mortgagestar1 profile image

Mortgagestar1 6 years ago from Weirton,West Virginia

It depends of course. Some kids are negleted &/or abused at home. There are more homeless and latchkey kids today than ever. The spiritually loving teachers demonstrates warmth and tells the kids they are appreciated and loved.

Today, we see petiphilia with " Gougar " teachers and it is so common that we are desensitized. Rumors have ruined many teachers careers from jealousy to kids wannabe fantasy.

America is becoming more liberal as time passes and this too will become accepted by society. Sadly so.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

So sad! What has gone wrong with the world? When my Father died I chose to go into school the following day and took my Maths c.s.e. The Headmaster at my school (now deceased), was wonderful. I went to his office to tell him my father had died the night before, and being the lovely warm Welshman that he was, he put his arms around me and gave me a huge hug and asked if I wanted to go home. This very act of kindness at the age of 15 touched me so much that I found myself completely choked up.

I finally managed to say that I was happy to stay at school for the day, and he then made a total effort to go around all of my teachers that day and tell them what had happened so they would make allowances for any lack of concentration I might show in their classes.

A truly wonderful man, a heartwarming experience (in 1985), and something that stayed with me for the rest of my life so far, so much so that when he died I heard about it from my Mother, and although I now lived in Tenerife I went to the effort of emailing a letter to the Guernsey Press newspaper telling them of this wonderful experience and how wonderful and memorable it was.


fits4life profile image

fits4life 6 years ago from Richmond

I love this hub. I do give a lot of hugs as a form of greeting. I coach children and am around the elderly also. While hugging conforts, I also feel that there is a time and a place for everything.


TattoGuy 6 years ago

Personally I see nothing wrong with a teacher hugging a kid, some of the poor little kids prob dont get one at home and to be honest today's over the top reaction just makes me sick.

Not everyone is a perv, most people care about children but because of today's world I myself wouldn't stop in the street if I saw a little girl crying, not worth the risk, tis a sorry world we live in and the only loser is some poor kid.

Great hub !


JeniMarie17 profile image

JeniMarie17 6 years ago from Florida

I really enjoyed you hub! I found it extremely useful to me and I hope others will as well. I know that as a student i have received hugs from teachers however it did not mean anything more and there was still that level of professionalism and respect. and I know as a future educator I will probly give a hug once or twice just because that is the way I am. I completely agree with you that a hug is just that a hug.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

** Hello Mortgagestar - that came to mind when writing the Hub. Some kids receive no warmth at home, some don't even live with their biological parents and a Hug means so much. Thanks for stopping.

** Exactly Misty Horizon, what is the world coming to? Sorry to hear about your Dad, but it gladdens my heart to know of how your teachers looked after you. That's how it should be. (So courageous of you to go to school the next day). You made another interesting point there too about you never forgetting it. There are positive things I still remember about my teachers, that I share with others to this day. Nice to read from you.

** Hello fits4life, interesting comments. Have you noticed with the elderly when they talk to you or say thank you, they tend to even pat you on the back. lol. So, now you the teacher also get a moral boost. We're all human with natural instincts :)

** Aaaaw Tattoo Guy, it's a pity.... and I bet your heart would be so out there to comfort that little girl. Society!! Hope your fine and not snowed in.

** Hello Jenimarie - glad you enjoyed the Hub and had a nice experience with your teachers. I wish you success in your teaching career and hope you enjoy it too. :)


bayareagreatthing profile image

bayareagreatthing 6 years ago from Bay Area California

Hugging is good. We all need hugs. Why does physical touch always have to be interpreted as a "bad thing"? Did you know that babies who are never touched will die? I say hug away.


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 6 years ago from East Coast, United States

It's a sad world to live in when hugging become controversial. I've heard some talk where people are upset that students are hugging one another in greeting. My friends and I always hug in greeting. It's a human necessity.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

** I agree bayareagreatthing. Hugging is good. Interesting comments. Thanks.

** Hi Dolores. It's a nice, warm gesture to friends. So natural. Thanks for stopping.


wannabwestern profile image

wannabwestern 6 years ago from The Land of Tractors

Hugs are wonderful to share among friends but I think it is professionally dangerous in most circumstances for male teachers to hug teenage girls or vice versa. Call me a prude but I am speaking from personal experience that innocent behaviors can easily be maligned. Having worked with children off and on for about 13 years I have seen parents become more and more sensitive about a non-parent teacher hugging their young kids in conventional church settings. I would stay far clear of doing so unless you are working with another adult in a team setting and have a "witness." To my mind this is simple prudence, and I have to agree with the others who have said it is sad but necessary. MistyHorizon's comment shows a case where an exception is appropriate, but be careful out there, teachers. It is a form of self protection. Knuckles, (totally cheesy in my opinion), high-fives, and hand shakes work, but they don't replace hugs. Sorry for the long soap box. Just touched a bit of a nerve.


Nancy's Niche profile image

Nancy's Niche 6 years ago from USA

It is sad that we are teaching our children not to be affectionate yet expect them to grow up being loving human beings. All due to laws that are so misused, uninformed individuals and paranoid parents who fail to teach their children how to protect themselves.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California

What a shame, when the person that needs it the most, (a hug), can't get it, because of the world we now live in. Because of the crimes of the few, the needy are denied the simple affections that are natural to humankind. Lady_E you really did this subject justice. Very, very good hub.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

Hugs are good, but it became controversial as some misused it, we cant help it isn't it?,as it is very comforting too, very nice hub Lady, Maita


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

** Thanks Wannabwestern, you raised some important and interesting points. Thanks for the advice.

** Cheers Nancy, food for thought "Paranoid parents". Thanks again for stopping.

** Hi Fastfreta - touching comment. Sometimes, they really do need it. A little bit of affection. Best wishes.

** Thanks Maita. Important point "we can't help it". Sometimes, its' done without thinking - especially if its someone distraught. Nice to see your smile.


Nicks 6 years ago

Have we all gone mad! Where did the appalling idea come from that adults (particularly men) are sex obsessed, paedophiles unable to touch someone else without it being sexually driven? This is lunacy and deeply offensive to the vast, vast majority of people. Surely, this overly politically correct, intellectually bogus 'philosophy' needs to be dismissed with contempt from our societies?


Alan Choi profile image

Alan Choi 6 years ago from NC, USA

it's a touchy subject when children are involved. I say a teacher should never initiate hugging but if the child gives a hug how can you say no to that? :)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Nicks. Lol - thanks for comments. :)

Hello Alan, I hear yah Alan, but that's a child. Nice to read from you. :)


shinujohn2008 6 years ago

i will not come to your home even if you invite me for lunch, especially , becuase i know you have a tiger and i would become a lunch for your pet.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Lol Shinujohn, we can't have that. I will keep it occupied in the garden while you enjoy Lunch. Nice to read from you. :)


Audrevea 6 years ago

Interesting! Especially all the comments. Hmm .. I think best avoided if at all possible. The restrictions aren't just there to protect the teacher, some kids aren't going to be as comfortable being hugged (just like adults) by someone outside of their home unit as others might be. There's a power imbalance and the child is too young to fully assert their rights / feelings on the matter.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks Audrevea, interesting comments - such a sensitive issue. I'm glad you stopped by. Regards.


Lamme profile image

Lamme 6 years ago

I wish we didn't even have to discuss whether hugging was right or wrong. Isn't that sad? But, I also understand the way the world is nowadays. So, in the right circumstances ... with the right motives, hugging SHOULD be OK. Thanks for a great hub, nicely written.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Lamme, I wish we didn't have to either. Thanks for your interesting comments. Society has indeed changed. Best wishes.


perihelionecho profile image

perihelionecho 6 years ago from Michigan

I believe that it depends on the age of the student and the gender as well. I believe hugging is okay with pre-K through elementary, although I might start to think twice about hugging a male student older than the age of, say, 9 or so. I believe hugging in Jr. High or high school should not be allowed. Adult education I believe would be okay when comforting a member of the same sex, though, as you stated above.

I work in a Kindergarten class and I disagree with you on the fact that you wouldn't really think a teacher would hug a person out of warm and fuzzy feelings toward the students. In teaching young children you can't help but feel a sense of compassion and protectiveness. You see them as "your kids", so when another staff member or another child's parent,or a random stranger on a field trip treat one of your kids rudely you can't help but become defensive. So naturally when a child is upset or just plain needs a hug you want to give them that comfort. Plain and simple.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks for sharing your comments and experience perihelionecho - very interesting. As for the fact that you disagree with me on the fact that I wouldn't really think a teacher would hug a person out of warm and fuzzy feelings.... the first paragraph stated:

"Hugging is something you tend to do to your friends, family, people you feel warm towards and not something you would expect from a Teacher to his/her students, but sometimes it can’t be helped."

The last sentence: sometimes it can't be helped.

So, I am actually on your side and also feel protective over kids or sometimes adults that I am teaching. It's natural, but we should be wise as - you also noted, you would think twice about hugging a 9 year old male.

Best wishes.


opismedia profile image

opismedia 6 years ago

Hugs between adults/politicians can't be compared with hugs between adults and kids. This is a very sensitive topic and it's easy to be misunderstood by all kind of people. Anyway i don't agree with the "Teachers Hugging and Touching Students" idea. Teachers should act strictly professional to avoid any kind of suspicion. Anyway interesting hub, thanks.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Hello opismedia,

Thanks for sharing your comments. Lets look at it in a practical way....

This week commencing 24 May - There was a terrible Motor Accident, in which Teenagers of a School were involved. (Cumbria). They were on a School Trip. Two Teenagers died and their death was witnessed by their school friends who travelled with them. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article71...

"Act Professional" in that situation... ofcourse I would. When they return to school the first day, I'd check how they are feeling, give comforting Hugs (doesn't have to be all of them, as a teacher you know the ones who are more sensitive than others) and maybe let them share good memories of the teens who died.

I understand we should be wise about it. If they were adults 20s+ in that situation, maybe no hugs, but Teens are merely Kids. I will not stand by rigid and all "professional" when they have just faced a Trauma.

.... and whoever wants to, can sue me for that.

Lovely to read from.

Best Wishes

Elena.


mquee profile image

mquee 6 years ago from Columbia, SC

The world has changed a great deal since I was a student in high school. My teachers at that time were tough, in the way of discipline. The lady teachers, would on occasion give a student a hug. I never saw a male teacher give a hug or touch any of the students. Students go through many emotions regarding teachers, making some heroes, having crushes on them, looking at them as parental figures, and the list goes on. Teachers just have to be careful in this day and age.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks mquee,

I particularly like your comment on "Students going through many emotions...". Some see sisterly, brotherly, motherly or even Father figures to care for them, others have crushes. Indeed we need to be careful and wise. I appreciate you stopping by.


jj200 profile image

jj200 6 years ago from My Bedroom

Great topic, great hub, great discussion. The student's age, the situation and the teacher's gender have a lot to do with what's acceptable and what can get them in trouble.

As a male who's worked inside and outside the classroom with elementary school students to college students (some no more than a year younger than me), it's been tough. I"m a very loving and caring person in general, and children are so tortured these days by their world and their emotions. You want to be there for them in whatever capacity you can, but you also have to defend your own professional standing. From my experiences, men have to work hard to earn a reputation of being trustworthy, whereas women are generally awarded it without merit.

I've always kept my distance from students simply because, as someone said, all it takes is one instance to sully one's reputation. And men working with kids are under enough of a microscope. So when a student comes to me with open arms, I just pray for the best. You can't reject a spontaneous hug from a student, for fear they will feel rejected and make their moment of need feel worse. But then you also don't want to get the reputation of being "the teacher who hugs his students"...even though it's actually "the teacher whose students hug him."

I prefer a high five or a hand shake, and if a serial hugger (as we call them) is just trying to get some physical contact, I offer one of those two options instead. Also, keeping a physical barrier between you and a student (your desk, their desk, etc) helps deter and keep them from getting into the "hug zone." I make sure I'm eye to eye if possible and find that expressing, facially and with vocal inflection, sympathy and caring works very well in place of physical contact.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks JJ200 - for taking the time to post this long comment. I appreciate you sharing your experience - infact, we both seem to think alike in many ways concerning this issue. It's a pity that men have to work hard to earn a a reputation - that's what society has come to.

From what I have read, I'm sure you enjoyed/enjoy teaching and I hope in future you still get to meet some of your students. It's always lovely when you get to see them again.

Best Wishes.


noorin profile image

noorin 6 years ago from Canada

Very interesting topic, to add to the controversy, I am a practicing muslim and physical contact with males isn't encouraged. Having spent 2 years in a class where in most of the classes, I was as girliest as it could get, I learned how to turn some guys down using humour to diminish the awkwardness brought by the whole situation. By the end of the year I had a lot of virtual bear hugs and understanding guy friends. I also taught kids for a year, and I enjoyed having and getting hugs without facing any problems, at least I was never sued ;-) Rated it up and will be following you so keep the controversial hugs I mean hubs coming =)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Totally understand you noorin. One has to be careful with the opposite sex. I'm so glad you enjoyed your teaching experience. Thanks so much for stopping. :)


Sherlock Holmes 6 years ago

Frankly, I must disagree vehemently with those who say hugging is a bad idea. In the vast majority of cases, a hug is simply a hug, and I can say that from experience; when I was in high school, I became good friends with my English teacher/forensics coach. He was a kind man by nature, but also extremely professional when it was required; he hugged many of the students, as he saw and respected them as young adults, as his equals, in a way that no other teacher did. My high school years were by no means easy, and by having that teacher available as a friend, mentor, and confidante to get occasional hugs from when there was no one else there for me changed my life for the better. I don't know what I would have done without him. And throughout the years that I knew him, I never had any "fantasies", as some are claiming; he was just an important friend, nothing more.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks for dropping by, Sherlock. Interesting comments and I'm sure a lot of students can identify with you. "a hug is simply a hug."

I'm glad you had such a wonderful teacher who had a positive impact on you.

Best Wishes.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

Sadly enough the Political Correctness in every aspect and field of employment has found corruptness. Professionals have had their wrists slapped and their careers ruined over the folly of either a fellow worker or a student reporting them for something as basic as a warm pleasant, appealing, fuzzy and just appreciation HUG.

One would think that a reaching out in this way would not cause such mind numbing explosion of rebuttal from colleagues. So I totally agree with jj200, if I was in the teaching profession, I would keep my distance from students.

There are too many who would like to turn on their teacher and have him/her nailed to the cross and be ejected from their positions in the academy of higher learning and teaching. Very sad, but cautionary measures have to be regarded.

As for me in my daily life with family I try to hug as much as possible, after all life is to darn short not to extend a hug of friendship and love to your fellow man. I respect and adore those who can HUG without caring and be regarded for it.

Those videos on Utube about people with signs in the streets of the big cities. Have you had your Hug today are such a welcome to my tired eyes.

Thanks for the share, this is a great Hub, I hugged you oops, please dont' report me:o))))


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Wow Saddlerider - very deep comments and they are so true.

"Sadly enough the Political Correctness in every aspect and field of employment has found corruptness. Professionals have had their wrists slapped and their careers ruined".

We've had kind people pray for hospital patients and the patients complained. Doctor comforting a lady who was crying - she complained he molested her, but apologised later. It's so sad. I guess we need to exercise wisdom and hope that the people who work closely with us can testify to our characters.

Glad you are a "huggy" person. lol (not sure that word is in the dictionary)

Thanks for stopping. :)


mosaicman profile image

mosaicman 6 years ago from Tampa Bay, Fl

Wow, such a taboo subject. I am a school counselor at a high school. We have to be careful because we are watched like hawks. I personally tell my students I will upon them graduating, I will give them as many hugs as they want. In certain situations when a student has gone though a tragedy or is hurting, I wouldn't think twice about giving them one. If a student has passed their hardest state mandated graduation test that they had been struggling with for a long while, I would definitely give them a congratulatory hug.

The major problem is that many students are not receiving that affection at home because the parents are always fighting (attention is taken off of the student) or their parents are divorced or never married. This also puts a strain on the family unit (kids are usually happy to have both mom and dad at home).


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Good to know mosaicman - it shows you have a heart even though you are a teacher. As you pointed out, some learners don't have any affection at home and it's nice to feel loved and accepted.

Also, we teachers who have spent about a year with a student come to accept them like our own little sister or brother or child - hence the hugs.

Thanks so much for visiting.


AC 6 years ago

At my school we hug on the last day of school teachers hug students, students hug teachers, teachers hug teachers, and students hug students. Hugging isn't really seen as an issue at my school everyone hugs someone almost everyday.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks AC and that's the way it should be. It's the same with me. Learners always come up to hug me on the last day of Academic year and they bring lots of gifts too. It would be heartless not to hug them.

People should realise that when a learner spends nearly a year with a Teacher, there will always be a bond. (obviously not intimate) but, one that acknowledges that a teacher has played an important role in their life and the same goes for Teachers too. Some learners touch you in how they develop - the growth - the challenges they overcame etc.

Thanks so much for stopping. If you have a Blog let me know. I'd love to visit.


wavegirl22 profile image

wavegirl22 6 years ago from New York, NY

Hugging has got to be one of the greatest, bestest things any one can indulge in! Warm and delicious hub just loved it and I am sending you lots and lots of hugs!


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Wavegirl - it is. Everyone needs a hug now and then. Thanks for stopping and thanks for the Hugs. :)

Best Wishes

Elena xx


Melania 6 years ago

I'm in my last year of school, and for most of the last years I've had only male teachers - the one female subject teacher I had in the last 3 years left. Physical contact between teachers and student just seems nonexistent, and I don't remember any of the graduating class hugging teachers either. On the other hand, I hug somebody in class almost everyday, I probably count as a serial hugger. :)

There's such an atmosphere of suspicion nowadays, one of our teachers explained the school's new 'open door' policy to us recently and it's just sad how little trust there is.

This is a great hub, and please give that tiger a hug from me. :)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks Melania

Your comments made me smile. I wouldn't class you as a serial Hugger - just a lady with a big heart.

Ps. errh, can't give the Tiger a Hug, but I will tell it, you sent a hug. lol

Many Thanks.


Puppylove 5 years ago

So sad that we live in a world where hugs draw suspicion. I for one am all for hugs, as many as possible :) While caution may be necessary, I think the drawbacks from withholding hugs outweigh the benefits of it; like others said, some kids can't get hugs at home and have to get them from somewhere. I always appreciate a hug from my teachers regardless of gender because in that way they show me they care and that I'm worthwhile. As long as you don't run into any hug-hating nutjobs, I'd say go for it, make the world a better place and hug away :)


tritrain profile image

tritrain 5 years ago from United States

I think they should be allowed to hug. It's sad that we've become such a sterile and careful society.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

** Puppylove - thanks for sharing that.

** I agree tritrain - it is sad. Thanks for stopping.


CH 5 years ago

I worked in a treatment center for sexual offenders.Hugs were off limits as it was considered SEXUALIZING.I believe it is not much different for a normal,teenage boy,esp. if they have a hot teacher. It should be a song. :)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi CH - that is totally understanding, as it's a center for sexual offenders. Glad you stopped by.


IM AWES0ME!! 5 years ago

Ithink it is pathetic, that a hug from a teacher can be taken negativly! As long as u trust the teacher u r hugging and they trust u then wat the hell?! I hug teachers at my school, everday infact!


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks for sharing that, Awesome.

Its nice to know you are comfortable with your teachers.


Jen 5 years ago

I suffer from depression and my teacher & form tutor give me hugs when I'm struggling. It's comforting for me when I feel low and helps me get through tough days at college... We are both female so I guess that's easier but it shows they care and I wouldn't think twice about having a hug from them. Nothing like a good hug to cheer you up!


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Jen

I'm glad you have a Teacher with a heart. (You know what I mean).

Take Care. :)


AZ 5 years ago

My school is uptight on a lot of things, but they don't seem too uptight about physical contact. I'm 18, female and just left school. A lot of my female teachers have made physical contact with me and it was fine. My music teacher would hug me or pat my back if I was upset and asked me for a hug when I was leaving. And I visited my old form teacher to give her a card before I left and she gave me a hug too. My male art teacher was quite fond of playfully hitting people on the arm for making silly suggestions, which I found odd, but not some kind of criminal act. I think a little bit of contact shows that they care and helps create a better learning environment as long as it's kept appropriate. :)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi AZ

Thanks for sharing that. Your teachers seem just like me. It's only natural that we develop a bond with our learners when we have them in our class for a whole academic year but we need to exercise wisdom with the opposite sex. Indeed it creates a better, relaxed learning environment.

Wishing you success in Life. :)


Harold 5 years ago

I just retired from teaching a couple of weeks ago, teaching mainly 7th/8th grades in the U.S. I am a bit old fashioned and didn't do the "huggy thing" at all until the last day of school to say goodbye to the students and only if they initiated it and then it was a kind of sideways hug and in the hallway or classroom where another adult was present.

I saw too much when I came to teaching and how a teacher's career could be ruined by something as innocent as a hug. So I was super vigilant, especially as an older male teacher - you have to be. With today's world being what it has become. I did use the shoulder touch to console or direct students at times, but that was the limit of my physical contact with students.

If you have adult students that is a different set of circumstances and I am sure that I would be more willing to be hugged. One thing to remember is that teachers are in the position of authority and that initiating the hug is different than the student initiating the hug. I know when I was a student and a teacher hugged me (male or female) I always felt uncomfortable and a couple of times told them I don't like being hugged.

Physical touching is an important part of human development and today's societies have placed significant restrictions on Student/Teacher hugging due to the actions of a few that highlighted in the tabloids or newspapers.

I guess it comes down to the teacher's comfort levels and knowing their students comfort levels before hugging. It has be an individual thing, not something that is good for everyone.

Harold


SLK 5 years ago

Any touching that is NOT mutually agreed upon by both parties is inappropriate. Period.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Hello Harold

Thanks for sharing your experience. I totally understand you. It depends on so many things. Age, male or female, comfort levels etc. One needs to be vigilant.

I hope you have a Happy Retirement.

Best Wishes

Elena


Becki 5 years ago

I want Ms.Wu-Mak's hugs!


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks for dropping by Becki.

Hope you enjoyed the school summer hols. :)


Alladream74 profile image

Alladream74 5 years ago from Oakland, California

Kinetic Tactile Stimulation (Touching,caressing,hugging) is encouraged in science of such nature as it is a reminder of the mother and child bond. But when it comes to our skewed society,I would say, only as and when is absolutely necessary. You could get in trouble for looking at someone these days. Stay safe. Great topic Lady_E


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Alladream, you have come to understand our society. (shaking my head) I totally agree with your comments.

Some kids don't even get hugs at home but as you noted hugging should be only when necessary. Cheers. :)


semipunkgirl 5 years ago

wow. i think a teacher hugging a student and vice versa is okay but they have to have the right intentions whether it's to comfort the student or they're having some emotional issues or something like that. Hugs are in order especially if the student likes the teacher and he/she tells the student that it will not happen between them never because of some reasons. Hugs are a way to give the student piece of mind throughout the situation.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Semipunkgirl

I totally agree with you. A hug sometimes is comforting and reassuring.

Glad you stopped by. Thanks. :)


Beth 5 years ago

As a high school student, I wish that my school and individual teachers would just be frank and clear about their policies and feelings regarding teacher/student contact right off the bat. Maybe that would be an awkward way to start the year but I know that today's teens are for the most part pretty huggy, I mean we're always all over each other :) and I think a lot of us would like to know if it would be ok to give teachers hugs. I am an extremely huggy person and if I could better gauge how my teachers feel about it then there are some whom I would definitely want to give a hug.

The issue is, I don't know the policy and don't want to inadvertently get them in trouble, and I don't know what they're comfortable with and don't want to inadvertently make them feel awkward. So I end up just being sort of stuck. The greatest thing was when my 6th grade homeroom teacher said, "As your homeroom teacher I'm basically here to help you out. If you have homework questions, or want to talk about something...or want a hug...you know, seriously, whatever." Like that is just such a relief because then everyone knows exactly where you stand. Sorry for the absurdly long comment, this is something that really drives me nuts. :) --PAZ--


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Beth - thanks for sharing your thoughts about it. I read in a paper recently that a school had a code where there were no hugs or "hi 5s".

I don't know if you are in UK or US but the Colleges I have worked for here don't have a code for that stuff, except that we should behave in a professional way, but I have to admit Hugging comes naturally....only at this day an age, you have to think twice before you do.

I don't hug male students, but I do give "half hug" to female ones, particularly if I know they are finding things challenging at home and they are stressed. (Hugging with one arm patting their back giving reassurance).

However, at End of Terms nearly all learners come up to me and hug me. Male and female, because they have been with me all year and they are moving to another class. I would feel awful telling them not to Hug me.

So, if you don't know the policy, ask any of your teachers. Hope you enjoy school and most of all, I hope you have teachers who really care for you. It will help you get the most out of your studies and enjoy it too.

Best Wishes.

Sorry for my long comment. :)


Luck123 5 years ago

Hugging is ok, but, I don't know about the kisses.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Luck123

Yes... that's a good point. Cheers.


lcos 4 years ago

As an alumnus, I visited my teacher and asked him for a hug. He said no. Hahaha but he is an enigmatic one, so I guess I understand.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Acos

I'm sure you teacher likes you as his student but he was just playing safe. Once an allegation has been made against a Teacher, even if it's wrong - their profession is tainted.

Take Care. Good luck with studies.


Kat 4 years ago

Ive always been a very huggy person and id always hug my elementary school teachers while in school. But now i feel like i do it more so on the last day if school or after ive had them like the year before or my teachers this year if i give them something for christmas etc. But i think it is sad that hugging is so cintroversial today. Hugging is sonething that is a natural form of showing some one you care. It dosnthave to be sexual in nature. I have had a crush on a teacher but i knew not to hug him because i knew it would be worse in the end for me. But i think as long as your okay with it on both ends and its all in good nature.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Kat

Thanks for sharing your experience. I agree hugging is a natural thing and it's sad it's controversial. I'm glad you stopped by to comment.

Take care. :)


Anonymous teen 4 years ago

I'm a Sophomore in High school, and I know that I would be terribly upset if I never received a hug from any of of my teachers. Some people say that a teacher becoming a mother figure isn't a good idea. I have to disagree. My parents fight a lot at home (and elsewhere also), so I tend to become attached to the people I see almost every day... My teachers. I'm not a student that complains about her teachers. "Mrs. What's Her Face did this," or "Mr. What's His Name did that," or "Man I hate..." I tend to stick up for any teacher I know when I hear them being dissed. I can't stand by and be quiet, even though I am a quiet person by nature.

Anybody who tried to tell me that I couldn't hug any of my teachers would soon discover that a glare can indeed make you want to die. :) But seriously, I would be pretty upset. Sometimes, a person just needs that little bit of encouragement or comfort.

I can't find anything wrong with a teacher hugging a student of any age. I usually only hug the females, but not because I don't trust the males. Simply because women tend to be more caring and loving than men.

It's really sad what this world is becoming. You can hardly breath without some telling you to be careful, or someone else trying to sue you. I almost wish I lived back when the world wasn't so suspicious and sue happy.

Well, this was a lot longer than I expected, but I think I got my point across. :) Thanks for the hub!


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

Hello anonymous teen

Thanks. It was interesting to read your comment. I also feel some students need a hug for encouragement or support. A lot are going through personal challenges which can affect their learning but a little smile, a little hug goes along way. It shows you care, you believe in them and they know you are there to genuinely support them. Such people wouldn't just drop out of class.

Having said that we need to be wise. I as a female don't hug male learners. If they are going through hard times, I pat them on the back gently and they understand the gesture.

I wish you success in your studies.

Regards, Elena.


Prin 4 years ago

I think it really depends on the people as well. I am a female student, and I have received multiple hugs from multiple teachers, male and female alike. I've given and received hugs with and without other 'witness' around. I have seen the same occur for male teenage students, and female teachers. No one seems to have an issue with it! I can understand what can happen, but as a student, you tend to get a good idea at whose alright with physical contact, and who you should not give as intimate physical contact with. Sometimes the teachers are the ones giving pats on the back/nudges etc. Sometimes they offer handshakes; and then there's some who have asked e for hugs when they were proud of me etc. So I guess it really depends on the school, and the student/teacher interactions and relationships! Hope that made sense!


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

Hello Prin,

yes, that does make sense and I am glad you have that natural and warm experience. A caring and warm atmosphere enhances learning. Thanks for sharing.

Enjoy the weekend.


vipul 4 years ago

hug word is not bad and if u hug ur favourate teacher: do but not with wrong view......


Robyn 4 years ago

I'm a senior in high school and I must say, I would be so devastated if there was ever some policy imposed that didn't allow hugging. There are some teachers at my school, not necessarily my teachers but teachers nonetheless that I'm really close with, and they just give the best hugs. I've dealt with a lot of tough stuff this year and they've supported me 100% with words, advice, and hugs. There was a time last week when I was one of the teachers' office just bawling my eyes out because I was having a really bad day (I'm trying to recover from an eating disorder) and that teacher just held me until I stopped crying, and I really needed that. I know she's always there whenever I'm having a tough day and just need a hug or if I need to talk and it honestly means the world to me.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@vipul ~ Thanks for stopping.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@Robyn

Thanks for sharing your experience and that's how it should be. I always have a bond with my learners. It's hard not to care for learners that are with you for one academic year, sometimes longer.

I am so glad you have a lovely teacher and as you noted earlier, I hope there is no policy that bans hugging.

Wishing you success. :)


Bob 4 years ago

Not Wrong At All!! Normal Human touch is very important to children especially young children in their emotional and mental development. It is abusive in my mind for a teacher to deny a student a hug who needs and or wants one. Since when is the innocent hug from a child in this country considered something sexual?? How sick is that!! Even a group of typical 8th grade boys in all their perverted humor are not as sick as that!! And people as full grown supposedly mature adults actually write policies based on this perverted thinking!! These policies are not protecting kids, only hurting them!! Giving child a hug is not sexual abuse People!! It's a Normal Thing!!! Americans are sick in the head these days!!


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@Bob

Thanks so much for stopping by to share your views. I like your take on it and totally agree.

Best Wishes.


quadajiah Brown 4 years ago

I think that teenages.

She not be pick on

Other teenages

Will they like it.

If the some teenages.

That they beat up

come after them.

I thank that should

Haping.They treat

Them warning.

I thank they should

Suffer.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@quadajiah Brown

Thanks for sharing your comment, quadajiah.


strongoppinions 4 years ago

I agree there is a time and a place. I recently looked into this subject because a yard supervisor at my daughters school(female) was approaching the first-fifth grade students daily and asking them "where's my hug ladies." I didn't have a problem with this at first, but then I thought about how inappropriate it was for a payed authority figure to use her status to seek hugs from these kids. Had she merely been a parent would these girls feel the need to hug her. Another point I wanted to touch on is that the Spanish speaking children and "bad" mannered girls were not being ask for hugs, from said supervisor. I have since asked my daughter to refrain from hugging any yard supervisor unless I'm present and as long as its her(my daughter) that offers the hug. I also find it a wrong double standard that it be acceptable for a woman to hug a child that's not hers and wrong for a man. Men are humans too, are they not.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@strongopinions

Hi - Ofcourse men are human. It's just that for some strange reason, people are more suspicious of men. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Best Wishes.


Clarissa 4 years ago

I believe hugging is totally harmless most of the time. I grew up without a father since i was 8. He died of drug overdose. In hs i became close to my social studies teacher he became like a father figure to me. Whenever i had my awful days he gave me words of encouragement, and hugged my head when i was crying telling me it'll be okay. He was always telling me to follow my dreams and no matter how deeply depressed i got, he never stopped beleiving i could make it. In the end of school, i was the last in his class and he asked for a hug before i left, igladly went over and gave him a hug. Completely innocent and we both knew he was just trying to be a good fatherly influence and to show he cared. I was aware he could never replace my father but him being there in my darkest times were greatly encouraging and because he believed in me i am off to business school to make him proud! :)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

Aaawh Clarissa - that is my kind of teacher. You were so lucky to have that. Not many teachers do that these days and those that want to, are held back by what people may think.

I am so happy he was there for you. It would have had a significant, positive influence on your studies and your emotional wellbeing. Thanks for sharing your experience and I'm grateful to your teacher.

Best Wishes.


Nicole 4 years ago

A few days ago my Physics teacher hugged me. Me and my friend were walking down the corridor and she met us and told us how much she enjoys teaching and loves to teach us, and it was something really sweet coming from her. I got very emotional and my eyes got watery. She was like " Awhh...how sweet" and she put her hand on my shoulder. Then my friend said, " Hug her Miss" and she immediately hugged me, and I hugged back. It was really sweet and I couldn't stop crying after.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Nicole,

That's so sweet. I like your teacher. It's just natural to have a certain bond with learners. You feel like a Mother hen. lol.

I hope your path's still cross later in life and she'll be so proud of you. It's so nice to have a caring teacher and such people make it easier to like a subject or enjoy learning. Thanks for sharing and good luck.


eslinsider 4 years ago

Many people are scared, but mostly scared of the wrong things. America is a fear based culture. A few wackos may have messed up, and now the whole suffers.

I think it's too bad. I taught English in Asia for around 6 years and it's different over there. Not everybody is afraid of being sued. Small children will jump on you and hug you.

It's quite normal, but now I am back in the States teaching and it's a whole different ball game. You are told to not to touch the students and to stay away. Again Americans are afraid of the wrong things.

Everything done within reason is o.k.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@eslinslider I am glad you had the experience of Teaching in Asia. It's a pity things are different in the west, but I hope you continue to enjoy Teaching.

Best Wishes. Thanks.


CrisSp profile image

CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

This is interesting! I'd like to go teach English in Asia too...someday. Back to your hub, I don't see anything wrong in hugging or showing some compassion towards your student or to anybody provided it is done in good faith and no malice attach. In my opinion, it's the American culture that makes it complicated, somehow. It's a different world in Asia. It's in the culture too. The Europeans like the French people like to hug and normally do so just because it's their culture. And, more often than not (in America) people are quick to judge and think otherwise, hence, the conflict. Then again, you can't blame them because there's a lot of crazy people out there, paranois' them. This is a good read though. *hub hugs to you*


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

So true Cris and for some its a natural way of showing appreciation. I hope you get the opportunity to teach in Asia. Asians have a warm and respectful personality. (from my experience of teaching). I'm sure you will enjoy it. Lol - yes, I don't blame the Americans. I am laughing at your comment about crazy people - I'm sure there are some lovely teachers out there, but only this week, I read about a female teacher who slept with her teen pupil. Mmmmmh...

Anyway, have fun teaching.

Regards

Elena


dinkan53 profile image

dinkan53 4 years ago from India

A hug overcomes all boundaries. It speaks words within the mind that can’t be spoken and it is a hand shake from the heart too. So I think there is nothing wrong in a hug, but I really don't want a hug like that in the picture :D.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@Dinkan53

Lol. The Hug in the picture is one of a Teacher hugging a little girl. I totally agree with your comment though. Thanks for stopping.


me! 4 years ago

i am i yr 7 and i can firmly say if i am upset, worried, or anything that has upset me i would want a hug. it shows that the teacher does have an emotional side than just being a robot and just there to teach. i thought schools were meant to be a friendly environment. i am sure any parent would agree.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

Hello Mel

Thanks for sharing your comment. I agree Schools should be places where pupils are cared for and a friendly environment but society has changed and I don't blame some Teachers. They are just trying to avoid trouble. However, I hope they follow their heart and reach out to those who are finding it difficult in class, or who have personal challenges and still have to face school. Take Care.


Terra Simpson 4 years ago

Very interesting. I take 3 group exercise classes a week at a local gym that I belong to and they are tough I might add. All of my teachers are women by the way. On occasions there will be subs takeing over every once in awhile. Anyways, awhile back one of my ex teachers who is a woman actually touched me on the hip and rubbed and squeezed my arm. I thought it was a little strange at first. It took me awhile to figure out she was being friendly. Any opinions on that?


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

I have fond memories of teachers who cared for me, and did not mind giving me a hub when they felt I needed a hub. Teachers now a days have to make a choice: do I hug? or do I take a chance I'll be accused of wrong doing.

I voted this Hub UP, and will share.


ignugent17 profile image

ignugent17 4 years ago

This is a timely hub and teachers are not free anymore to give concern to their students. Teachers are afraid to do an act that may cause their bread and butter. Great hub Voted up !


Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

Agree about the issue of hugs between teachers and students. Being a teacher, I always felt that this wasn't a black and white topic and had shades of gray. And with this one I always used my judgement as best as possible. That said very good article and have shared and voted up too.


zsobig profile image

zsobig 4 years ago from United Kingdom

To be frank, I don't think it is a bad thing. Of course, it can be more than a simple hug in some sad and weird cases, but usually, it is just an encouraging hug.

My mom is a teacher for 30 years now, had been elected as the best teacher last year, since all the children love her. This love usually means that children start hugging her and even older students (girls and boys as well) regularly check back to visit her between the classes. I know that it is boring when the 100th kid shows up on her doorstep near the end of the day, but mom always says this is the true sign of appreciation and she would feel bad to turn a kid down to hug them who comes towards her with an endless smile on their face.


Stephanie Henkel profile image

Stephanie Henkel 4 years ago from USA

Sometimes everyone needs a hug. It's a way to show friendship, sympathy, comfort and joy. I think that teachers should be allowed to hug students occasionally, but sometimes even the most innocent action is twisted.

Teachers are in a position where they can offer much comfort to distressed or needy students, but they are also in a position where a hug can be misinterpreted. In fact, some schools have an absolute "no touching" policy to avoid any problems. It's too bad, but for their own protection, teachers need to be very careful about dispensing hugs to students.


mio cid profile image

mio cid 4 years ago from Uruguay

my reflection on the question/title of this hub is that it's a cultural thing, this question would never come up in any culture or country where italian or spanish language is spoken.


donnah75 profile image

donnah75 4 years ago from Upstate New York

Sometimes, it is appropriate to hug a student. I teach teenagers, and I hug them when it is appropriate. As an adult, I can draw the line. Those that don't know when it is inappropriate don't belong in a classroom. Kids need a hug sometimes when they are upset or when they have been successful at something. My drama students hug me all the time after a show when they have had a great performance and want to say thank you. It is a human response. It isn't something to "be careful about" if you are an appropriate adult.


Mama Kim 8 profile image

Mama Kim 8 4 years ago

I hugged most of my teachers and it was never weird. Teachers play an important part of a students life and a simple hug shouldn't be misconstrued. Great hub, voted up.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@Terra Some friendly teachers are "touchy feely" with students. I'm glad you saw it just as being friendly. Thanks for stopping.

@Mary615 - I am glad you had a good experience with Teachers. It affects students in the way they learn. I appreciate you sharing your experience.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@ignugent17 - So true and it shouldn't have to be that way. Thank for sharing your thoughts.

@Janine - Thanks. It's nice to read the thoughts/opinions of a teacher. I'm glad you stopped by. I hope you continue to enjoy teaching.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@zsobig - That's so beautiful. For your mum it wasn't just a job, it was her passion and I love that. I enjoyed reading your comments and it's so lovely that the kids keep in touch with her. Thanks.

@Stephanie - Such a pity that in this century some schools have the "no touch" policy. People forget that Teachers are like second parents to kids. I appreciate you taking time to share. Cheers.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@Mia cid - So true and that's because I have taught lots of Spanish / Italians and they are not reserved - they are open, nice and friendly.

@Donnah - That was lovely to read and I'm glad you made the point about your drama students hugging you. Sometimes students initiate the hug and it would be so bad, to turn away.... and then there's the last day of term. lol... Everyone hugs you. :-) Thanks for stopping.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@Mama Kim - I totally agree with you. Many remember a day when they were so sad or so happy and the teacher gave them a lovely hug. Your profile photo with your kids is lovely. Thanks for stopping.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Look at all of the comments....having taught for eighteen years, I loved this hub. Sadly, hugging is just not allowed any longer in the United States. Too much of a chance of sexual charges being brought upon the teacher, and that is truly sad. I understand the reasons behind the caution, but as is the norm nowadays, common sense has been pushed aside in order to avoid lawsuits.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

It is sad that due to past incidence hugs are now allowed in schools or other children's programs. It is a precaution for the teacher as well as the child. If I do hug a child, it is in front of the parent and it is a side-hug. So sad we can't because sometimes it is the only human contact some kids have.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

@billybuc - Thanks Bill for sharing your experience. It's must really touch your heart as you taught for nearly 2 decades and obviously, things were different then. Your learners/pupils must have seen you as having a caring, fatherly role. I'm glad you stopped by.

@teaches12345 - It's sad, particularly as you noted, it might be the only form of human contact. Some parents work shifts and don't see much of their kids in the day - as much as they love them. Thanks for stopping.


Terra Simpson 4 years ago

I've had two female teachers touch me and it was not inappropriate. I just had my female sub just touch and rub my back. It was all out of care and concern. I arrived late for class and she noticed that my nervs were a little rattled and that's all. My teachers can just be touchy feely andI don't mind.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 4 years ago from London, UK Author

Thanks for sharing Terra,

That's how the world should be. I'm glad you have caring Teachers.

Good Luck with December exams.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I take three group exercise classes a week and all of my teachers are female. I've had subs that come through every once in awhile. Anyways, I've been touched on my arm or my back by one of my teachers and it's never bothered me.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I've had a group exercise teacher out since last month because of cancer and then a heart attack. From what I heard from a friend she's doing better and will be back the first week of next month. I really want to welcome her back. I know what it's like to be gone for two months. I just don't know how.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Terra, you could give her a card, or flowers or something you would love to from your heart and once she receives it that would touch her heart. I don't know her personality, but if she is someone warm, I'm sure she won't mind a hug.....but just go with the flow so that afterwards, you don't feel awkward.... maybe pat her hand. You obviously want her to have a special welcome back.

Lovely thought. :-) Thanks for stopping.


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

In my opinion, I find teacher hugging and touching inappropriate unless like you mentioned it's on the last academic day before Christmas – after having snacks, drinks, exchange of gifts, cards etc everyone leaves. Male professors need to keep that poker face at all times and remain professional or risk losing your job.


xstatic profile image

xstatic 3 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

I think you are handling it perfectly. It would be scary as a male teacher today, well, female too I suppose. Billybuc is the voice of experince.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

It's kinda funny sweating with old people in a group setting and having a female teacher that calls on you every week. That just happens to be me as a matter of fact. She does wink at me a lot during class though. An opinions on that?


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

@LoveDoctor - Lol at Male Professors keeping a poker face. The poor guys just can risk losing their jobs. Thanks for stopping.

@Xstatic - Totally agree. I appreciate you stopping by.

Thanks


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

@Terra - All Teachers are different and from what I have read, you don't feel awkard. Example, If I feel someone needs extra support. In class, quite a few times, I will give them the thumbs up and smile at them - that gives them a lot of confidence. In your situation, she winks at you lol.

Some Teachers are so stern.... (well, they put on a stern hat) and some are just so laid-back and you feel so much at ease with them.

It's just a wink, maybe to re-assure you.


Terra Simpsom 3 years ago

It's funny being the young person being out of the group though. I've been in her so class for so long. No wonder she calls me out so often. I work in a small Christaian school that I graduated from and I'm always being found by a couple of kids. It's not a big place either.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I used to get a lot of compliments on how good I was looking because of all the hard work with weights from an ex teacher who is a woman.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I'm so thankful for teachers that understand there students. I was just talkng to one of them tonight after class. My teachers are always smiling and reasurring me. Yes two of them have touched me. I never find it akward. That's how they are.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I had a former groupn exercise teacher named Jodi that I had along time ago back when I was learning how to use weights teaching today. It brought back memories. She's subbed more then once and she used to have a class at the gym I go to until it got cancelled because of the size. Anyways, whenever she comes we just have a copuple of minutes to talk witch is really nice, What can I say? She did put her hand on my arm. I think she does mis seeing my smiling face around with my personality. I left her a note before class that she got the biggest kick out of.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Am I talking to much about my teachers touching me? I'm sorry if I am. Please forgive me?


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

Hello Terra, it's nice to read your comments. I don't log in to Hubpages everyday. I just read and approved 3 of your comments now in a row. Also, what you share will encourage others to have more confidence in their Teachers. Remember the shooting incident in America last month, Teachers lost their lives because they were shielding/protecting the kids, though sadly some kids still died.

There are some lovely Teachers out there.

Have a lovely week, Elena.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I pray a lot of people have confidence in there teachers like I do.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I also agree with that. My teachers are just so warm and welcoming to all of there students. I was singing along to my music and setting up for a class and I turned around and my sub was just standing there watching me. My sub told me that I humor him a lot. Of course, I just laughed.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I guess it's just easy for me to have condidence in my teachers. Because, I've been blessed my whole life from pre-shool all the way to high school even ice skating, horseback riding and piano lessons with some of the most wonderful teachers. Even now getting to work with some wonderful teachers at the school where I graduated from and group exercise teachers that accept and love me for who I am.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Is it normal for a teacher to call on one student every week? Witch just happens to be me. Any opinions on that?


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Terra - Thanks for your comments. I read them and reading b/w the lines, I note you have a lovely heart of gratitude. People who are grateful in life, only attract more goodness, favour. People can't help but like them..... and that is part of why you are experiencing beautiful acceptance and enjoying your school experience.

Keep it up - You will go places.

Regards

Elena x


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I just talked to a friend of mine and she was telling me the sub that I had along time ago who touched me on my back. Nui is her name. Anyways, she remembered me.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

This will make you laugh. Two weeks ago, I was setting up for class and I was just singing along to my music dragging my bar across the floor. Not knowing that my sub was just standing there watching me. That was until I looked over. He almost started laughing along with me. He even told me I humor him.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I made my arobics teacher crack up so bad tonight. I think she loves having me in the class. She's always smiling at me and always sems to be concened about me. She's never touched me. I can just tell though.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Any ideas on a post-workout meal? Especially after a really intense arobics work-out.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

Hello Terra

Nice to know you are enjoying School. Your Teachers will always remember you with a smile. I have no ideas about post-workout meal, sorry - that's because I hardly exercise, but do a quick search on google. G/Luck. :-)


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I made the mistake of complaining and my sub just smiled at me. I think he had a blast just watching me in class. I don't know how he put up with me every week in class. I was listening to my ipod and he had no problem with that. I was really full of myself this week especially today and I think all of my teachers noticed including him. I had my phone next to me and my sub just kept looking at me. I did't mind at all. That's all of the news this week. I was giving my friend a hard time on my way out and my poor sub just laughed.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Any opinions on what I said? This week marks my 2 year of strentght training and causes for a celebration. Any ideas?


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I just found out last night that my sub Curt who's been teaching since the begging of December is going to be teaching for the next three weeks of this month.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Is anyone familiar with a group called The Black Eyed Peas at all? I'm not. I only listen to Praise and worship music. I just can't stand the music that is played in my BP classes. There's only one teacher that knows and understands my opinion. It's hard to get away from it.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

They are a popular music Group, but Praise and Worship is calmer. :-)


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I agree with that. My teacher Kelly told me last week that she was going to let me get away with listening to my ipod only that night.I knew she was kidding. I think my sub Curt just laughs at everything. I was setting up for class and singing along to my music and he just stood there watching me and almost started laughing.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Would anyone consider it weird getting looked and watched all the time by a sub? I don't


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I think my sub Curt enjoyed having me in the class.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I was really full of myself this morning. I left a sheet of paper for my sub saying that I was wired and hyper as I could be along with attack and charge. He read it and just started laughing. Every time he opened his mouth, I was always saying something. He'll have a lot of memories of me while he was subbing. Yes, he did look and watch me a lot every time I walked past him. I was looking at the clock today every once in awhile and I knew he was looking at me. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that he just laughs a lot and that he told me that I humor him.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Any opinions on that?


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I cannot believe how much I tormented my poor sub. He just laughed away. My Wed night BP teacher Kelly and I are always tormenting each other. So, that's nothing new. With all of the subs that I've had. I'm going to put Curt at the top of the list.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

Teachers see you differently and psychology helps them understand why you do the things you do. Nice to know you are enjoying school.

Best Wishes.


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Hi Lady_E, I definitely think it's wrong especially when it involves male teachers and teenage or adolescent girls. First, it's unprofessional and unethical and second these girls can file sexual harassment charges against their professor for touching them inappropriately. Sometimes hugs and touching can be misconstrued for something that is not.


Terra Simpon 3 years ago

I could not resist leaving a sheet of paper for my sub Curt tonight. I decorated it with stick people with weights and I named them. I also left some funny comments that I said every week. Basically it was his last and final laugh until he comes back to sub. I know he's going to laugh.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

@Love Doctor

Hi, thanks for your comment. I'm glad you noted: "Sometimes hugs and touching can be misconstrued for something that is not."

So, it will always be on the mind of Teachers even if they want to reach out because sometimes we feel like "Mother Hens".

Thanks


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

What does touchy-feely mean? I went to get up out my seat last night after church and went to stretch a little bit and I felt a little twinge in my lower back. That's what happens when you are pushing your three year old nephew around on his bike so he dose'nt fall off.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

Touchy Feely .... people who touch you lightly (tap on the shoulder etc) when they talk. To them it's a natural habit. Not necessarily a negative thing.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Thankyou very much. I was just curious. I don't know how my teachers put up with me. My poor ex- teacher Dora really had to put up with me. She always laughed at every thing that I did and always getting compliments.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I don't think I've ever had a teacher say " I love you guys" to a group of students and actually mean it. This is a teacher who is female. She's not the type of person who would touch anyone of her students. However, she does have a genuine concern and careing nature for her students . Her main conern is every week that everybody is careful and no injuries. I told her about the candy and she just syarted to laugh.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

~There's nothing wrong with a teacher saying "I love you guys." Teachers tend to bond with the kids they teach. She is just showing that she has a heart for you all. Take care.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Don't worry. I was talking to one of my teachers Kelly last night after class. She told me know sugar for me at all. Because I was so wired. When she starts being sarcastic then I just join right in. I think my sub Curt is going to show up again this Sat and next Sat.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

I finally got after a classmate of mine last night in my strength training class. She decided to walk right between the instructor and I.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

That's Interesting to know Terra. Good Luck with any upcoming Exams.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Is it normal for a female group exercise teacher to call a student baby? Is that a term of affection?


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

Some Teachers might use it as a Pet name, Terra.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Thanks for your help. I had my teachers husband asking me two weeks ago why I have'nt been in class.


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

What do you mean pet name?


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Do you mean the term teachers pet?


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Now I get it. Dough!


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

My teacher Kelly is back to winking at haranging me again. Is that normal for a teacher like that to do something like that every week? Do you think that she might have affection for me? She also does something special for her students each month who has a birthday. I mean if she was not fond of her students. Why else would she not be doing that?


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

No idea, Kelly - but I hope you enjoy the Summer Hols. :-)


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Several months ago my group exercise teacher who is a woman told me how good I was looking. Her name is Kelly. Then she asked the Yoga teacher Alicia if she thought the same thing. Do you think she might have a little affection for me in a good way?


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

That's lovely, Terra

Hope you have enjoyed the summer holidays. :-)


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Is there any way I can post pictures on this page? I had so much fun fun!!!!!!!!!!! I managed to get a picture taken with my teacher Kelly. There is this wall just outside the classroom and so just as she was walking up, I said " Kelly look at me." I bent over backwards. I don't think I've ever seen her laugh so hard. She's used to me.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

You can sign up to Hubpages and post as many pictures as you want, Terra. I think you will like it.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 3 years ago from London, UK Author

Terra, this is an article. It's for comments.

You can chat to me or post to me as many times as you want on https://www.facebook.com/Inspiringtalk and I will always give you answers.

I don't visit Hubpages often.

Take care. (◕‿◕)


Terra Simpson 3 years ago

Nice thought. I got rid of my Facebook account a very long time ago. I found it a problem because I was sending messages to my ex teacher Dora to much.


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

I completely understand that you don't do hubpages anymore and I don't do facebook. I really want to say that I ran into my ex- group exercise instructor Dora on Sat after class. I had no clue that she was there till I felt a hand rubbing my arm and my name being called. We did get to talk for a couple of minutes though. Not to mention she still did the normal visual appearance of my phisical appearance and complimented me on it and did not leave till she gave me a side hug.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 2 years ago from London, UK Author

Hi Terra, I do Hubpages, but not as regular as before. Nice to hear from you. Dora is nice and it seems like she cares for you. It's nice to know people who stop and have time to chat and check how you are. Actions speak a lot. Anyway, have a lovely Easter. xx


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

After the first time I ran into her I thought I'm never going to run into her again. So what happens, I run into her again for the second time. I feel like she's become my shadow. It's kinda funny. One of them actually noticed how I walk pigeon toed and my teacher Jackie did not let me get away very quickly. She just told me that it could lead to a knee injury.


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

To tell you the truth I do miss having her as a teacher. She was just so helpful to me. I need to tell her that. It would probably melt her heart wouldn't it?


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 2 years ago from London, UK Author

@Terra That's nice. Maybe you could get her a "Thank you" card or write her a short poem. She would appreciate that.


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

Good idea at least I know that she's never hated me after I left her class.

I'm just going to quit saying that I'm never going to run into her again. Because if I do, I will. Have you ever heard of a teacher and student having the same taste in movies?


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

I ran into Dora again last night. I could not resist throwing my arms around her. She also threw her arms around me and just as I was walking away I heard her say " it was so nice to see you again dear." Thats's the first time that she's ever called me that. If my dad wasn't walking towards the stairs or if he was still on the treadmill, I could've had a picture taken with her. I get complaining every once in awhile about her and I just want to tell them to shut up and tell them of my experience with her as my teacher and the help, how she made me feel special and how she just guided me through every class knowing that I was still kind of a newbie.


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

Seems how my teacher Jackie and I love The Lord Of The Rings movies. I always want to impersonate Gollum who is one of the characters. Have you ever heard of that before?


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 2 years ago from London, UK Author

I have never watched Lord of the Rings. :-)


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 2 years ago from London, UK Author

@Terra

"Well?" your wrote. lol.

Sorry, I've been busy so haven't been online. Dora is a sweet Teacher. She reminds me of myself. Quite a few students I have taught even 5 years ago, are in touch with me, telling me how life is going etc.

So, I wouldn't call it Love with Dora, but obviously she cares for you and is naturally a caring person. Such people will encourage / inspire / advise you and always want the best for you. Their door is always open, so you are lucky in that way.

Hope you are enjoying summer hols. :-)


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

At least we are reconnected. I was always living in a state of fear that she always hated me. Turns out she never did. I was just going through something with a co worker that abandoned me the week after I started strength training and the moment I showed up in Dora's class I just let myself look at her as a friend and not a teacher and that's something I have not told her because I'm afraid it'll destroy what The Lord has done so far.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 2 years ago from London, UK Author

@Terra

Good. Keep it that way. :-)


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

You got that right. I'm definitely going to keep that to myself.


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

It's so funny being called dear, being told how good I'm looking and how skinny I'm getting, being hugged and winked at by my ex teacher Dora and being called a stretching gorgeous by a female classmate and I'm female to. I was just sitting outside the classroom waiting for class to start just stretching and I had this female classmate walk right past stopped took one look at me and said " well, hello stretching gorgeous." That sounds like something that Dora would say.


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

Well,

My reconnection with Dora has turned into a disaster. I sent her to many messages and about 9:00 on Tuesday night I got a message from her asking me to not send her anymore messages. That of course threw me into a fit of rage and sadness. I spent all day on Wed seculding myself from everybody. My poor teacher Kelly even noticed. I hope my teacher Jackie does not ask how I've been doing. I know she might.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 2 years ago from London, UK Author

Sorry, to read about that.

Don't let it cast a shadow over the summer hols. x


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 2 years ago from London, UK Author

I hope the situation turns around.

Ps don't let it upset you. x

Sometimes you just have to give things / people time.


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

My teacher told me how good I was looking. She's lucky that I did not break out into tears. That's something that Dora used to say. There are so many things that I want to tell her about how I feel.


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

Well?


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 2 years ago from London, UK Author

@Terra ~I am glad you have found a teacher who cares for you and understands you. Enjoy the weekend. :-)


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

I've just given up altoghether.


Terra Simpson 2 years ago

I'm sorry that I've been overwhelming. I promise that I'll stop. Please forgive me?


Terra Simpso 2 years ago

I finally told Dora by a message telling her how I feel.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 2 years ago from London, UK Author

That's great Terra, hope you get a positive response.

I'm sure you will.


Terra Simpson 24 months ago

My iPod got stolen on Wed night in the gym classroom. I'm still trying to figure it out to. I remember the fitness manager Doug and I talking and him telling me that he was going to come to my class. So, I left went out and stretched for awhile. Went in and set up and then left again going to find out when he was going to come in. Then later on after class instead of stopping and checking my bag. I went home called found nothing out. So, I called again yesterday and talked to Doug again because he was the last person that saw me with it. He told me that when things like that happen, generally things don't come back. Tonight I found out that you can track a stolen device but I don't think it's possible with iPods. I tell you one thing. Know matter what my classmates say about the fitness manager, I trust him so much. If it wasn't for him, my teacher Jackie and my teacher Heathers husband Mike I don't know what I'd do. None of my classmates talk to him as much as I do. One more comment from my classmates or teacher then I will sick Jackie on them as well as the actual manager Joe.


mio cid profile image

mio cid 23 months ago from Uruguay

loosely related to the subject I just realized a few years ago that here in the United States what I always thought to be a joke or something that wasn 't for real what they call here your "Personal Space"is not only very real to people of anglo saxon,or germanic descent but it is very important they protect this even between family members ,which is really inconceivable in the broad latin culture.


Terra Simpson 23 months ago

Doug practically scared me to death on Monday night. I was just sitting on a bicycle at the gym and I feel this smack with a clipboard and I look over and it was him. He had to go train somebody. That didn't stop him from saying hi to me and we talked for a couple of minutes. Before he left, he did put his hand on my shoulder.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 23 months ago from London, UK Author

Hi Terra, Happy New Year to you. As you know I'm hardly here and have missed some of your messages. Sorry about your stolen IPAD. Have you found it or did your parents buy you a new one? Anyway take care. Good luck with studies this year.

You can always tweet me @LadyELenaUK

I will reply much quicker. :-) xx


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 23 months ago from London, UK Author

@Mio Cid That's very interesting and culture is important.

Thanks for stopping by. :-)


Terra Simpson 23 months ago

I hate to tell you this. I don't do Twitter. Sorry


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 22 months ago from London, UK Author

Terra, I'm sure the Management care about their members. Feel free to speak to them or contact them about anything on your mind. It will help you feel settled within you too.


Terra Simpson 22 months ago

I know I should. My dad already talked with Doug on Monday and he's forgiven me for it. I now have confidence and faith in the Lord that he never hated me.


Terra Simpson 21 months ago

I promise I'll stop complaining,


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 21 months ago from London, UK Author

That's good to know Terra,

Keep your circle positive. :-)


Terra Simpson 19 months ago

I finally figured out why nobody in my Wed night class liked Doug showing up. It's all because he talked to them and that they thought he was a nuience. I thought it was a little odd at first when he came around the first time to see what I was doing. He must've been looking at me and I never knew it.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 19 months ago from London, UK Author

I'm not sure what to write, Terra....but if he makes you feel uncomfortable, let him know. Take care.


Terra Simpson 17 months ago

I saw my ex-teacher Heather on Wed and I smiled at her but all I got was a stern look from her. I did nothing to her at all. The only thing that I did was go to her and ask her if Doug could come visit her class.


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 17 months ago from London, UK Author

It's nice that you smiled at her, it's her loss if she can't be nice to you back.


Terra Simpson 16 months ago

I took the cutest video of my bird last week. The funny thing is her normal routine is the first thing she wants when I take her out of her cage is a head scratch. She loves it when I turn on BP music that I hear every week.


Terra Simpsom 16 months ago

It's so nice to be in a class where respect is a must.

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