The Courage To Be - The Simple Truth

My photograph of the urn by my fireplace.
My photograph of the urn by my fireplace. | Source

The Letter

 "Dear Ann.  This is a letter.  Love, Freda"

The letter's significance

What an inspired letter it was, too! She had been trying to explain a simple concept and I had been coming back with pages of words (handwritten, of course!) and ample logic why not. So, in that simple letter, she demonstrated her premise without even trying again to explain it - and it left me muttering to myself.

But in so doing, she awakened my ability to see THROUGH to the concept and to internalize it for myself almost without resistance, and perhaps, eventually to be able to explain it with clarity and in words.

But I was to learn fully that this is true: "They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." I wish I could remember who coined that wise adage.

Freda’s wasn't a trivial concept. In its utter simplicity, it was profound. She had observed that I was immersed in and strangling by a hopeless situation and that I was supporting my idiocy by rationalizing it and intellectualizing everything else.

She'd tried to point out basic facts that I'd chosen to ignore. But still I managed to avoid facing them. no matter what she tried to show me as alternatives. I just didn't get it. . If anything, I seemed more adamant in my efforts to jusify and rationalize my bad choice and its progressively more futile consequences.

Freda always kept her letters simple. She often wrote only a sentence or two on a page in a large free script and her letters were usually no more than six or seven pages of these cursory, poster-like sentences, written on small-size plain paper which seemed to bear the scent of tranquility. So she had been demonstrating from where she was coming all along. I'd been upset by the reminder of the gap between there and where I was and a bit terrified of opening the can of worms on which my precarious position balanced, at the expense of my being integrated. It was frightening.

A Glimmer of Light

 

Finally, though she found a way to bring a pause to my headlong plunge through and into a sticky oblivion and to get her message across to light an awareness I had not stumbled across in my much reading - up till then - or in my own mind despite its mental gymnastics and natural preference for simplicity.

I began to let go of the frantic scramble to think it through and as I began to simply look at the concepts in action in her letter, by which she kindly and mercifully ruled out opportunities to come back with the usual outpouring of rationalizations, it produced a quietude which allowed me to internalize principles rather than to analyze them as ideas. Then, as they always must, they had a chance of becoming my own, appropriately altered to "fit" me. They could use all my feelings and instincts properly.

At first I resisted - but - resisted what? She offered me nothing TO resist. I began to relax and to feel the flow she referred to, an inner peace and quiet where wisdom rules rather than intelligence or vocabulary.

Freda did not try to impose her philosophy on me but she simply allowed it to be seen and responded to as fit so that I could find my own inner guide and learn to trust and assert it appropriately.

She demonstrated how much she cared with her almost zen-like masterful stroke. As if she pointed at a frog and declared - SEE! in response to my questions about what matters. I had little choice but to begin to unravel my own traps and to SEE for myself - with clarity and understanding.

I think it was along about that time that I wrote:

 

                Try to not make

                         Your sense

                                 Out of another's

                                              Inspiration;

                                    And let him

                             Tell you

                      What it is.

 

I always could put into fewer poetic words a thought which I would ramble on about for chapters in prose! 

Freda's concept was to FEEL what one truly feels and experiences and to SEE what is is really happening externally around one IN THE PRESENT.

Meanwhile, I kept on describing what I was trying to see through blinders and what I had read as if it were my authentic feelings. Yes, I know. Sounds confusing. perhaps unnecessarily so. Well - that's because confusing is what it IS so long as we deny our internal feelings and the wisdom of our bodies and so long as we let ourselves be lost in over-thinking, analyzing, anger and trusting external things while replaying the past over and over.

But Freda didn't explain her concepts in so many words. She simply demonstrated them and let me see for myself. Inspired!! Also she didn't give up on me. Courageous!

Denying one's truth is emotional suicide. I shudder to think what might have become of me had it not been for Freda's wise perception and counsel.

So What's In A Name?

Incidentally, about "Ann" in the greeting of her letter: I'd allowed others to choose my name from among the possibilities of my given name since I could remember. I wonder who I thought of myself as being during those years! I finally recognized this as being a part of the separation from myself which had been slowly progressing far too long. I'd allowed it, though, so I realized I had the power - the sole power - to change it.

I was born Nellie Anna, which gradually became Nellie. Then it became Nell, though eventually I did manage to impose on it Nell Ann, in a feeble grope for identity at one point. That was a time when my designing talent had blossomed and I was being recognized for it. I chose as my design name NELAN. It was a brave front. I was whistling in the dark.

Before long I was renamed Ann because someone incidental in my life decided that Nell was too corny and countrified. I merely shrugged and accepted it..

Ann stuck a long while and was it the furthest from the real name I had. At that point, I’d virtually been totally separated from my birth name And it persisted - and I allowed it to - all during the most difficult 20 or so years of my life and beyond, in which many other landmarks of my identity were being diminished without my firm assertion to reclaim my SELF.

Then some kind soul decided to rename me again. He thought he was exalting me when he would introduce me with a grand flourish in which one could almost hear the drum roll:

"And HE-E-ERE izzzz MY-Y-Y-Y ANNIE!!" Ta-da-da-da--da-DA!!

Annie. I'd never have chosen to be called Annie in a million years.. I didn’t like it. My Aunt Annie Laurie was beloved but not a shining example which I would have chosen either to emulate or as a namesake. My Aunts Nellie and Anna. for whom I was named, were both admirable women whose examples and light I was glad to embrace and to take as my own starting point. But it kept getting remade - and I kept allowing it to be!

I was extremely embarrassed by the grand flourish announcing me as someone else, a figment of someone's imagination, a "thing" or a possession. And being a shy, quiet person who was just beginning to break out of her shell to begin to feel entitled to her own personhood, it came as a deterrent at best. But it was well-meant (weren't they all?) and I tolerated it. Again, I failed to assert my basic responsibility and right to claim myself and to get on with growing up. And I was in my 40s! I very much needed to!

Well, I’d only just learned to drive!! I was still a mere neophyte due to my own lack of assertive backbone! And it would be several more years before I gathered my Courage To Be.

After graduating from that 6 year ‘education’, I resumed my original surname, for starters. But It would be another couple of years before I dumped “Ann’ and progressed to another step. Of course, the name issue was just the tip of the iceberg. My bootstraps neglect went much deeper.

Then I combined my original first and middle birth names into a single name in order to keep my original surname as a middle name. I had finally met and married an equal who had no need to possess or to take over. We both intended to respect our own and each other’s individuality and space, although we were physically inseparable. Fact is, I wouldn't have married then if he’d had other intentions, and I feel sure that neither would he, if I’d had other intentions. As it was, it was mutually supportive and encouraging, along with being fun and delightful.

The name thing was merely symbolic, I suppose. But as a major symbol, it played the part of a major step for me, the, first by laying claim to my name with any alterations being only those of my own choosing, rather than passively accepting whatever others deemed appropriate, even in the guise of "terms of endearment". And more, it was in taking full responsibility for all my past, present and further actions and their consequences. Until and unless one does that, the gains possible are extremely limited and the victim-mentality is highly likely to continue to undermine one’s full person-hood.

How much simpler it could have been to have started off free to BE and to be response-able! But in that case, perhaps its value wouldn’t have been so fully appreciated or – hopefully – as judiciously exercised.

More by this Author


116 comments

Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 6 years ago from India

I know how painful an over-analytical nature can be - my husband tends to analyse everything and more often than not, it doesn't bring him much joy. To 'go with the flow' is good advice indeed, but not many are brave enough to do that - it means relinquishing control, and how many are ready to do that?

Nellieanna, I've been wondering what you shorten your name to, too! :) Most of us with names of more than one syllable end up with shortened names, whether we like it or not. I answer to all kinds of versions of my name, just because I don't have the energy or inclination to correct the person yet again!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Yes, FP - it does seem a bit frightening to go with the flow. However, I've become convinced that it's the way it is and that 'control' is an illusion anyway. I think that knowing it and going with it allows one to exercise whatever 'control' one has - which is only over oneself, and once it's understood how illusionary that is, using the illusion when needed is OK. Example: I'm elderly. Fact. BUT I take good care of my health (diet, exercise, practice good posture & moderation, no smoking, push myself sensibly, avoid running to the doctor with every little twinge, avoid meds as much as possible, etc), -- things I can control myself. But now I have shingles anyway. I can't will it away. I took the week of meds (which I surely would have been better off starting as soon as symptoms appeared but I avoided seeing the doctor till I'd figured out what it was, and then I learned that immediate treatment is many times more effective! - backfire!) I'm doing everything I can to promote healing, but there it is. Not my plan. But beyond my control, at least now. I refused the pain meds so I'm managing that with over-the-counter aspirin-containing stuff, but not at the first twinge when it begins to wear off. I may have to tolerate it for an unknown time, so I know I need to learn to. I'm not going to take cocaine or whatever the prescription med would be. (and I did read that is one pain med usually prescribed for shingles!)

I'm less concerned about the name thing than I was when I first realized what a clear indicator it had become that I'd allowed others to usurp my one and only real possession - my identity and were into infiltrating my being. Few folks now can believe how close I came to that, but it gives a whole new meaning to 'identity theft'.

That's in the past now. But I don't call myself any nickname other than an occasional Nellita but I'm not offended by Nellie or Nell. I understand what a long name it is, especially to type, & we all use various shortcuts when we communicate on the net a lot. But I have to confess that it warms my heart when someone chooses to use my full name. It feels like being truly perceived. I know - who could know that? Some folks may feel better & more perceived if their preferred nickname is used and who would know?. But that's sort of what perception of another person is, isn't it? Being asked what form I prefer is wonderful too. Thank you!!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

Well now, Since I have been calling you Nellianna (mostly) you have now imposed a barrier to that name, so I shall call you AF :D


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

OK. No oblgation was meant and no imposition is desired. ;) You've been omitting one of the e's in my name anyway. :)

So am I to be filled in what AF is?

Coincidentally, it was my Dad's initials of his first and middle names which many people used in lieu of either name the iniitials represented! haha!! He must be smiling. Smooches.


prettydarkhorse profile image

prettydarkhorse 6 years ago from US

oh lovely name hehe, what form do you prefer mam, Mam Ann, Maita


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

haha, Maita - just call me Nellieanna, M'am. You're so cute!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK

Now you see, this is what causes me to be firm with you at times. You do not pay attention, you do not follow the conversation!

I am dyslexic, so I am bound to leave out letters and/or jumble up the words. It is what dyslexics DO!

AF stands for Angel Face and I have told you this before, Tsk, tsk, this girlsih absent mindness just has to stop!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Oh dear. May I play the elderly card? You're so swift and bright that it challenges the semi-absent-mind to keep up with you. I'm relieved to hear AF = Angel Face. I'd imagined all sorts of terrible possibilities! Whew. . . .


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Dear Ann,

You made me laugh out loud.

Love and light,

Michelle, ripplemaker


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Oh, that's sly, Michelle. I see it as a kndly "get over it" (if I'm not) and I appreciate it. Be assured, I am over what you refer to. Now Ann just sounds like someone else to me now. It's definitely not an offense.

Your perceptive depth is outstanding! I appreciate your sharing it with me.

Thenks for coming by and reading my hub and deteccting the humor in it, which accompanies its serious messages. You're a gem!


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

Nellie - this is a wonderful Hub and a very good reminder to stay focused on the present moment. Thanks for sharing this intimate insight.

Love and peace

Tony


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ny pleasure,, Tony - and thank YOU for stopping in and reading it - and your favorable commnents! It's not always so simple to focus on the moment, even though, actually, it's the only moment we have a chance to influence. The past moments are merely reference material and the future ones are as yet non-existent - if anything, they'll be the results of how we live the present one.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Let's be here now! Thanks Nellieanna!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thanks for checking out my hub and your good comment, Micky. Absolutely - I am!


Mark 6 years ago

Regardless of the name - you are who you perceive yourself to be in the context of your true self at any given time. Beyond this, you are eternal - an ever changing entity that remains the same within the Oneness of creativity.

Blessings Nellieanna :)


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Hi Nellieanna, you made me laugh out loud because I also saw myself in you. And your journey to the discovery of being is a delight as I walked in that path too. And I am still learning as I read hubs like yours:) Hugs and blessings!


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

Loved it - laughed all the way through .... but you leave us with something profound to think about! I'm so glad I read your comment on Sabu's hub and came by for a closer look!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Mark - though you leave no tracks I can follow to your site, I can tell you that I appreciate what you've written on mine. You're absolutely right - I know I am who I am by any name and that it's within, as you describe it, the Oneness of creativity. But it was a journey of self-discovery nonetheless. Each of us has our own journey. We just do it in our own ways.

Thank you!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

ripplemaker -Michelle - I appreciate your response to my hub. I love your story too, and relate so much to the sense of fulfillment you get from working with the young children - each having his or her own personality and sometimes struggling with hsi/her own challenges. What a fulfilling, gratifying work! Thanks so much for the visit and the connection. BTW - I had to refresh my brain to fully get your message this time - when you'd jokingly called me Ann on an earlier comment. ;) hehe


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Shalini - I'm so pleased you enjoyed it - both the humor (I'm not so much a humorist but like it when it comes through) and its main message. I guess it is profound to find the courage to be oneself, however a winding path it takes!

I'm glad you read my comment on Sabu's site too! Thanks a million for following up!

(I've become your follower as well, by the way!)


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

I read somewhere that it's called "the curse of intelligence." If it is so, and I believe it can be, then you are cursed indeed. But you seem to have recovered nicely. :D

It's funny, I confess to reading through this and empathizing with you, the narrative voice, so much that, when you got to the naming part, when you first pointed out the Nellie, the Nel, I was like... NELY, of Wuthering Heights... SHE was a powerful woman, totally controlled the destiny of everyone and they never knew! But then, reading on, I was like, "look, even I am doing it to her as I read her hub." Some kind of reflex. Perhaps not ill-intended, but clearly stifling. Never would have thought of it that way. What a fascinating piece of introspection you have spawned with your fascinating piece of introspection.

I'm glad there are still a few of your hubs I haven't read. So I have them to look forward to.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Aw. . . well - I feel that way about your hubs, Shades! I'm always glad there are more of them for me to read.

And your comments on mine are so refreshing. You manage to take me vicariously through the reading (ordeal) of my long-winded pieces as though it were a pleasant stroll! I must admit that I've written much in my lifetime, but mostly quite privately, almost as a record or reminder of who I am and what I thought or think, especially at times when it seemed possibly under attack. I'm all past that but still it's ever so nice to be both perceived and enjoyed! And come to think of it - I think I have recovered nicely! What a great thought! (Though any controlling of any destinies, except possibly mine, is too far-fetched for words!) ;)

Thank you for visiting again and leaving your delightful comments!


Dallas 6 years ago

Less is more. Perhaps the wisdom is understanding the core: What is... Perhaps the state: "Keep it Simple Silly" is appropriate !


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

hahaha - so true, Dallas! So true! Thanks for the visit and wise counsel!


SilverGenes 6 years ago

"Soothing textures created by light from the window" - oh my goodness. Perhaps it's my overly analytical mind or runaway lyrical vision getting in the way but for me, that photo sums up everything you said above it. Perhaps it's fitting in some ways that the name changes according to the shift in light as a way for others to recognize their connection to the texture that is constant, but for the effects of time and tide. Or not. Alexandra (aka far too many, as well).


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

I can't tell you how pleased I am for you to see that photo like that, Alexandra or SilverGenes - YOU are YOU.

When I saw that brief moment when the light from the window with with morning sun having its way with that old urn, creating an illusion of its reflecting the light onto the brick fireplace wall next to it (though that was direct sunlight on it too) - and then slithering on across a bit of the floor and vanishing into the darkness beyond - I couldn't grab my camera too quickly.

I've loved other images the sun and shadows create and occasionally have been quick enough - so I was motivated that time.

I've snapped long streaks of light across a plain ceiling, too, because they were so magnificent!

So when I went looking for a picture to post there, that one grabbed me. I have fewer of my pictures on this laptop than on some of my other computers, so it's interesting to find the 'rght one' on it!

The urn and the brick and terazzo are always there - but that moment was so fleeting! As you say, but for the effects of time and tide - that picture would never have existed. But it did. That time. Perhaps other times it's available too but at times when no one sees.

I ruminate at times on the role perspective plays in the observance of beauty. We look out at a mostly horizonal stretch of our yard or the view from the highway driving along. It's so limited and what we're seeing is not even horizontal at all - but a long arch of a large curved survice which vanishes over a horizon somewhere from our perspective. Just think how many otherwise infinitesimal and otherwise unnoticeable objects we get to bring into the larger scale of our retina's interpretaions than they could ever be from any other perspective & we along may be unique in noticing their minute detail, because of our perspective positions at that moment relative to this planet, its solar system and galaxy and - universe!

It's mind-boggling!


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 6 years ago from North Carolina

How fun all of this is. Great Hub and I'm glad I've wound myself through the brambles to find you. Looking forward to reading more from you. :) Light and Love.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Amazing! Yes, it's fun and delightful to discover an heretofore unmet friend! Glad you came along!


billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

Nellie Anna I just reread this wonderful piece of praise. I have to confess I am a little partial to your name though - One of my Grandmother's first names was Nellie :) A great name it is too! What awesome and beautiful hub :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Aw - thank you so much, Billt!! I'm most pleased you enjoyed and re-enjoyed it! By chance, my maternal grandfather's name was William and he was called Billy. :-)


dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 6 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

The breathe of fresh air. Now I know and understand the history of "Nellieanna." Seems all of us have life paths that provide opportunities to learn about ourselves. To be, or not to be.. We have chosen to be! I had an epiphany when I understood the importance of "Being true to thine own self." It must be tempered with compromises and having the wisdom to know when and how much in the dynamic process of life... You should sell grandma something.. You could package your wit, humor and positive outlook on life to be a guaranteed success in terms of money... A definite "Up" and awesome.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, Dallas! I appreciate that coming from you! I may get commercial before I'm done. I'm living at least to 100 and in tip-top health, so I have a few years to plot and plan! ;-)

Yes - maintaining a workable balance of self with the rest of the world involves some tempering, but I find that even there it can and must be done with one's own style rather than with any kind of defeatist mentality. In fact, one's style should include that area of interacting, I think and should bring to it a vivid and shining quality!


lemondrop11 6 years ago from West Wareham, Mass.

Great hub!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, lemondrop - and welcome to HubPages! Hope you have a great time here!


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 6 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

Great Hub - for some reason it brought to my mind the line in Neil Diamonds song "Be" he wrote of the soundtrack "Jonathon Livingston Seagull" - "Be as a page that aches for a word that speaks on a theme that is timeless"

Be who you are here and now. Full speed ahead one inch at time.

Thanks for the smiles and message in a great hub.

Love - Light - Laughter

Neil


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Wonderfully uplifting comments, Neil. I confess, I recalled & was inspired to write this by the book by the same title by Paul Tillich, which caught my eye on a friends' bookshelf in about 1966. I asked to borrow it & read it. It wasn't all I hoped for, but the idea of having courage to be oneself - all oneself, even the good or outstanding parts! LOL - sounds funny, I know, but I admit to being afraid to be all I could be, plus I'd allowed a personna that wasn't who I was to be imposed on me to a dangerous extent, too lacking in courage to just say no & assert my own, probably partly for fear of having to measure up to it, once I found out what & how much it was. Growing up the young child in my family of two brilliant parents & 3 older siblings, all powerful, definite folks - well -. So I wasn't accustomed to asserting much but listened mostly, wondering who I was & how I got there.

Sounds convoluted, I know. But I guess we all struggle with some kind of resistance to, fear of, or ignorance of who we really are. Realizing it as a sacred responsibility helped me to begin to come to grips with it.

I'm so fond of Neil Diamond, but unfamiliar with "Be". I must find & hear it. Jonathon Livingston Seagull is another inspiration for me, but I only read the book, didn't see the movie. Now there's another on my wish list!

Thanks for all this & especially for your kind words about my hub.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 6 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

I love Neil Diamond too. The soundtrack for Jonathon Livingston Seagull is in my opinion his best work. (although his least known) You will love the album/cd.

Love - Light - Laughter

Neil


agaglia profile image

agaglia 6 years ago

Another great read! Nellianna. I especially liked the art work along with it.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you, agaglia!! So happy you visited it and liked it!! :-)


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 6 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

Have you checked out Neil Diamonds Jonathon Livingston Seagull album yet?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

How kind of you to check back and see if I've checked it out, Neil!

Yes - I have and I saved it. It's magnificent & totally awe-inspiring, though for deep sensitivity I like "Fly" sung by Celine Dion. Do you know it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhBs_bdhjoA


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 6 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

Yip I do know it...


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 6 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

Nellianna - If you like rock music with a lifting message you will enjoy the Joys singing "Tryin to try"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnaUcb4PTTA&p=4E953...

.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

I wish I could say I liked it but it didn't grab me and the message wasn't uplifting enough to sustain four minutes of the monotonous sound. But thank you for suggesting it anyway.


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 6 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

LOL - a rock lover you are not!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

That's not necessarily so. I don't love all of any genre of music, but actually find many different genre quite nice. If I had to pick one favorite it would probably be classical - but not ALL classical! I like music from the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s (more my 'heyday' - but I don't like everything that was done then either), 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and 21st century.

I respond to music a bit as I do to people - as individuals rather than types or categories. If it "rings true", pleases my ear, touches my emotions, makes me laugh or crave chocolate or seashores, - I'm probably going to like it! LOL If it is tiresome, insincere, contrived, or agonized (or comes across that way to me) - I probably won't prefer it. I guess it's how my personal taste buds work.

I do happen to like a lot of rock music as well as some that was initially classified as rock but when another form of more tedious, frantic rock came along, it seemed to have been reclassified as 'soft rock'. Even so - some hard rock suits me at times too & a classification as "soft rock" is no guarantee it will ring my chimes. There are plenty of tiresome, cloying, vacant soft-rock numbers.

The thing I sense as pleasing MUSIC is something shared in common across the genre where it shows up & what lacks that element - isn't very pleasing.

When I write a poem, the 'thing' I want to find it has is some of that kind of 'music' - - not a sing-song kind or rhyming kind especially, but an intrinsic harmony with the spheres which tends it toward an "ah" kind of response rather than an 'ugh' kind. I dunno - but if it's missing - I won't like it even if I wrote it - and I know I can't contrive it to be there. It either flows or it just jostles along trying. The idea of "Tryin' to Try" is diametrically opposite my idea of a lifting message! I'm not even into trying to do things that must be spontaneous to be real & valuable, much less into trying to try. Hmmm. . .

Oh well - so be it. We both like Neil Diamond - that's a great connection & it is a lovely spontaneous mutual appreciation!

hugs -


Neil Sperling profile image

Neil Sperling 6 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

Hugs right back my friend!


Pleasure Venues profile image

Pleasure Venues 6 years ago from South West US

My traditional Native American name would literally take two paragraphs to state! Well ... I'd hate to go through life telling everyone my name/family history upon every greeting! This name thing is soo paternalistic and robbing in many ways. Our ties with words and names and formulation of the meaning by context is mind boggling! however, I really loved the impact of: "Try to not make/Your sense/Out of another's Inspiration;/And let him/Tell you/ What it is".GREAT! and also: "Denying one's truth is emotional suicide". We're bombarded with all sorts of projections! I once had a hearing to attend and the investigators were very serious and wanted to address me in a "pre canned" manner. Just for fun, I dressed up in 'drag' as a woman! Well, it set everyone off balance and turned their argument out of whack! They couldn't put a name on me that fit! along with their name or brand of ownership of my identity to project their intent for the corporation ... didn't match up. I think we all can have fun with this topic and take it to fit our own meanings. I really love your writings and am grateful that you had the tenacity to endure with elegant grace to shower us with your words of wisdom. Thanks.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS Author

PE - a wonderful response here. I love your perspectives.

How vivid is the picture of being called upon to recite family history as though necessary to explain your name! It really is mind-boggling how automatically most of us humans begin a mental process of associating names with whatever facts we may have to associate with our impressions of an unfamiliar name on first meeting it! We wonder about names which are not very everyday to our experience and try to make "links" in our mental notebooks to familiarize ourselves with them for the immediate purpose and future use. The internet has done a large service in this area, in fact. On my list of contacts are names from all over the world, though some are represented by innocuous nicknames. Getting acquainted further usually produces an introduction to our real names.

Nellieanna is my real name and it's been simpler to just put it out there. I started off with an actual real-ilife nickname - Nellita - which represented another imposed name on me. haha. My elder siblings gave it to me and would vary it to reflect their approval/disapproval. In the first case, it became Nellita the Sweeta & in the other, Nelita the Stiinkita, usually earned if I got into their stuff or neglected a duty or service to them they'd demanded. I was pretty gullible, though, so I was more often the Sweeta. When I signed up for the inernet and chat and was asked for my nickname, I provided the one I knew. Once I tried making one up (LeavNtrax with a profile pix of a shaggy dog) but I wasn't really comfortable with it, though it was not unlike your episode with dressing up in drag and observing the differences in reception in that guise. It was revealing - of them, though it hid me. Of course, unless they checked into it, they just accepted it as another person joining in. But feeling the difference in reception was quite an eye-opener, knowing that I was exactly the same as before other than the name and avatar.

There is little doubt in my mind -and experience - that there are MANY people more than willing to supply one with their own projections and concepts rather than looking into one's own being for clues. It is evidently difficult to lay aside preconcepts and preferences to openly risk finding there are really other people than themselves walking around! I've learned that there are only one valid goasl for me in it. To extend benefit of the doubt to others and to be an authentic person walking around and leave them to their abilities or limitations of perception. It's a full time job to tend to one's own abilities and limitations, anyway . hehe (though at the same time, it can be amusing to ascertain what others' do think or choose to think, as you point out.)

Thank you for your very astute - and perceptive -words and evaluations! Hugs.


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 5 years ago

Wonderful hub. You show how we never stop learning about ourselves and others. You are a good thinker and I enjoy reading your take on things, it gets my mind working. Thanks.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

toknowinfo - That's a great comment. I am always thinking about things. It's fun to exchange ideas with others who enjoy it, too. In fact, it's how many new knowledge breakthroughs happen. THANK YOU!


clark farley profile image

clark farley 5 years ago

Good Hub, (to partially answere a question that you asked in a Comment in another place), toknowinfo in the previous Comment has said it best, ..."it gets my mind working".

I have written Comments to friends' blogs describing their blogs as, 'a virtual gym, a place to got to stretch and get exercise...not necessarily to a specific end, but just for the joy of working of a sweat'. (metaphorically speaking, of course)!

appropos of nothing, the strategy I employ to find (other Hub writers) to read/follow, is fairly simple; I follow followers of people I follow. I scan those listed as following a person that I enjoy reading, read a hub or two and then move on.

The blogosphere does tend towards the ephemeral...


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah - Clark, thank you for the compliment AND for the good explanation in answer to my question about why you chose to follow me. It's something I wonder about at times when a new follower appears seemingly spontaneously! I've thought it is surely from the networking character of HubPages, which your explanation confirms, I think, though you tailor it in a special way.

Then one sees someone who just started on HP in the last half-hour who has followed oneself; - and if one happens to look at the person's Hubtivity, finds that there are 123 others being quickly followed in the same first half-hour of hublife, some of whom have already returned the follow, almost robot-like.

I also prefer to read someone's hubs, and certainly the person's profile, and to want to follow the person's progress and feast upon it, before deciding to follow. Usually what clues me to check them are good comments they've posted on a hub I am reading or one I've written. I rarely follow unless I genuinely want to write a fan message, which limits any tendency to follow out of a sense of obligation.

"Good", as applied to a person's comments, could be good humor, challenge, knowledgeability, depth, sincerity, obvious quest for understanding, a gift with words - - or just goodness itself. You probably know what I mean: - having value.

I like your wording to describe a blog as a good workout, so to speak. It's a wonderful experience when one encounters such writing. It just FEELS good to read those. And it truly does feel almost like physical exercise. A great metaphor!

Anyway - from whatever impetus it starts, it's nice to meet interesting people and that is a big bonus of being here. I read your profile enough to conclude that you are interesting people! So thank you for reading my hub here and for the follow!

Hugs.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Nellieanna!

First, I am now gratified that I choose to use your full name. I simply love it and I think I said that in one of our first exchanges. I remember you explaining that you changed it to keep your other name as a middle name.

Second, thanks so much for sharing the link to this hub with me. You astound me! Isn't it amazing how these thoughts of yours reflected in this hub so closely relate to things we have exchanged with one another recently? It is especially fascinating to me because I think I have expressed similar thoughts either to you or to others and yet had not read this until just now.

I particularly like that poem (which you've used in your recent hub as well) because it is such wise advice. Additionally, as your friend did with you, sometimes the only way to get another to even consider a different way of looking at things is to simply lay it out as it is perceived and then wait to see if the other finds the same or other useful meaning out of it. In my case, that may or may not be a good thing because I will sometimes over analyze and over intellectualize even the simplest of truths, depending upon my mood. I suppose the trick would be to learn when to analyze and think about problems and when to simply things and see the futility in over thinking.

For some reason, I am reminded of a line from a song. . . the one in my email signature line actually. . .it says "I can see clearly, I know who I am. That's how I know I've begun living."


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Shan, I'm really happy you chose to visit this hub, and it brought me back to it, as well. Skimming down the comments from as long as 3 years ago, is like a nostalgic trip in a memory capsule. Each of the friends who wrote comments is as real to me now as they were then. though many of them have changed focus from HP and are scarsely seen these days.

It's rather amazing that so much of the comments are about my name! My name was a factor in my development, perhaps more major a one than realized. That and other early ongoing experiences played parts in it, even some that seem rather trivial in themselves in 'becoming' & outgrowing their effects. From the advantage of later vantage-points, it's not too difficult or surprising to see how each step led in the paths it led. I think it helps to know how it all 'followed' and fit together, though it still requires a lot more to understand oneself and both love, manage and take full control of the same. .

Of course, others contribute significantly, but you are so right! Others may point a direction but it must BECOME one's own steps because it's mostly both a doing-it-oneself project and then it's a rewarding-oneself-for the work as it's being mastered along the line, by easing the bumps and bridging the gaps that would otherwise be 'stoppers' in the progress of becoming. It's not a sudden or instantaneous event, though some key moments and peak experiences do seem to turn the lights on and point the direction with greater clarity than when one's muddling along trying to keep from 'going under'!

My mother said that she knew she 'couldn't pad the corners' for her children. That is so true, and it also applies to helping others. The good news is that there is a mutual pool of core truth to be recognized as being mutual when it is 'there' and obvious. What you said about recognizing some of what I wrote as being what you'd also thought is part of that. And I experience recognizing that mutual awareness when I read or hear others say things I've thought.

Sometimes, each of our ideas are formed at various stages but the core-clarity comes across when it's encountered in someone who's at any stage of mastering it. I find that kind of recognition of what I'm thinking when reading or discussing with others and find it's partly or in whole, what I'd thought myself.

About knowing when to intellectualize and when to let the 'wisdom of the body' do the work, yes. . . I sometimes think that we have our five senses, plus a very alert & essential subconscious 'sense' and some measure of intuition and maybe even an intelligence unbound by time & distance.

But then we have this amazing brain, whose function and best talent is to FOCUS on just the THING IT'S WORKING ON and shut out or down other 'distractions'. It does that well by shutting out what is extraneous to that particular focus.

In the process, though, it's often blocking the efficient vital operations of the other functions which round out a human's ability to handle ALL the kinds of challenges and take care of ALL its needs. The brain's consciousness provides it an advantage in taking charge & being high-handed about its own power and position so that it tends to minimize consciously and intellectually the other very astute & essential functions whose vocabulary & ability to debate are un-honed, because they serve no purpose in their handling their proper function in the wellbeing of the human in whose body they dwell.

When one is responding to sudden danger and sensing major needs and opportunities, no debate or discussion in order to get those jobs done is required. In fact those analytical abilities would slow down the quick responses & interfere.

By the time the information would be intellectually transmitted to the brain and processed up there, the danger would have possibly killed or disabled the person.

Yet intellectuality scorns those 'intuitive' abilities as being somehow inferior and gives them short-shrift in the education and training of the person for life!

Having preserved them and possessing them should be honored. They set no limits on the brain's functions when they handle what they're equipped to do. A whole person - should be WHOLE & balanced. But it takes attention to bridle the brain to let the rest of the body's wisdom do its work, because one needs use of all these abilities to be balanced, self-actualized, integrated or whatever one calls being a smoothly-working human being operating optimum-ally in all the vital areas of being & living.

Coordinating all the brain & body's wisdom is an essential skill. When it's mastered, it really is awesome.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

I'm not sure what happened when I first tried to read this. It wasn't there! But now it is.

I'm not sure I would've ever equated intuition with a sixth sense, but I suppose that makes sense and it definitely fits with what I was saying. Along the lines of "trust your heart" or "listen to your gut." There are certain times going with a basic instinct is the best option. Of course, instinct (or intuition) would also be connected to the brain and its many functions of intelligence. Emotions stem from the brain even when they seem to be illogical or counterproductive. Often times, though, the coordination of "brain & body", as you put it, is somewhat illusive, not unlike the head vs. heart debates that can occur within relationships. Though, I suppose that even in those cases, one usually knows that the head, or intuition when used in that sense, is more likely to be correct that the heart. Did I just contradict myself? haha


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Shan, - My point was less about the opposition of brain VS. heart or intellect VS. intuition as about simultaneously employing ALL one's senses or capabilities in functioning as a whole-integrated being and organism. Being 'all of a piece' rather than warring.

The brain, as you say, has both conscious & instinctive areas of initiation of responses. The entire network of nerves throughout the body is its means to work as a unit connected to the brain and interacting with all the other organs, each providing its network of interaction with the brain, which dies without the blood pumped from the heart, just as the heart needs the electrical spark of the brain to trigger its beat. They each contribute vitally to the coordinated functioning of the unit.

I understand the application of the adjective 'illusive', except that I see it describing the futile effort to SEPARATE 'brain & body' as though each could function alone, but would not apply it to describe their coordinated functioning as being illusive!

I abhor those 'debates' about which is the superior or more capable, the assumption of VERSUS-ness which inevitably occurs within relationships from marriage to governing bodies, wherever humans interact under the delusion that there is separation, therefore domination and servitude, superiority and inferiority, a delusion which produces impetus for seizing control rather than valuing coordination.

It's exactly the basis for attempting to designate conscious intellect as superior and all the rest as somehow merely there to serve it, which then is attempted to be translated into keeping men ruling (arbitrarily designated as the more intellectual/ruling brains of the genders) in charge and women (relegated to being the epitome of the intuitive/serving bodies of the genders) suppressed. The Yang VS the Yin, when in fact it is that very opposition which triggers the erroneous acceptance that men are by nature the brainy ones and the equally erroneous idea that women are by nature equipped merely to provide for the physical support of the 'brain, i.e. - the man'. What a crock!

The ludicrous propaganda that men are from Mars and women from Venus is illusion. Both are from EARTH and need to stop behaving like aliens to it! :-)

What's sad is that women believe that seizing the role of the brain really grants superiority, so, in attempting to shuck off the 'lesser' 'intuitive' designation assigned to them, have tried to move into the all-brain illusionary position that men have universally failed to show to be either superior or successful, except to become illogical tyrants physically tightening a grip to prevent the other 'side' from being able to escape it. It's like cancer that results when an organism turns against itself and won't let go of itself.

Neither role seems to have grasped that it is the chaotic fragmentation which fails and that the organic coordination of brain and body within individuals and every relationship between them which has capability of furnishing the actual means and ability to function at the optimum human levels.

Efforts to assign and hand over control to one function over the other have proven wanting from time immemorial and have lead to a majority of the ills that occur at every level of human society to bring them down, yet they're clung to out of fear, probably - fear of giving away something that was never a reality to begin with; superiority and control!

Surely as many bad behaviors result from the domination of the heartless head as from the headless heart. Those are the illusions or delusions with which mankind has limped along at every level. But it's fallen in love with the competition and scorned the coordination which would lift it out of its pits. Humankind seems to have lost its way in being integrated, at the individual level to the community level - the 'VERSUS' mentality permeating it throughout, though a hopeless cause and a tragic result. It just goes 'round and round' in its own dysfunction, struggling to stay alive, much less to blossom into its full potential as a fully-functioning unit.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

I tried to comment shortly after you sent your last comment because I received a notification that you'd replied, but I don't see it. So. . . you surprised me with this response because you seem so adamant and I was simply agreeing with you! I was not speaking in the sense of gender roles, but rather in part from my own experience and from those I have observed. More like the internal battles that would probably be much less of a battle if indeed it all worked in sync.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Dear Shan - I'm sorry if one of my replies didn't show on your screen. Maybe you looked while I was editing it? I can't imagine why it would be permanently MIA though. hm

My comments weren't intended to be contentious or contradictory, but simply to express my views about the coexistence & what can be the natural coordination of brain & heart in their dual & cleverly interwoven functions of analysis & intuition when they're working in unison & harmony. I notice this at work in all of nature with its dual ability to express itself in both dramatic & calm tones, & especially among human beings, both when in harmony & when in disharmony as when it's somehow become polarized, becoming a push against pull, rather than a push-together, pull-together organism in inner harmony. Both conditions manifest rather obviously between the genders. They were an example of either harmony or not as it relates to the dominance of one function over the other to the detriment of both. Mentioning it was not intended to be tangential. It is an example to which I've given much attention over the years, though to mention it at all seemed to need explanation of why it illustrated the main point in this context.

Forgive me if it came through as being inordinately adamant. None of these is a wishy-washy opinion, though they are just opinions. My feeling about respecting others' opinions is that they surely wouldn't hold to them themselves if they were not fairly confident in them, and of course, it applies to mine, too. I try to hear theirs as I hope mine are heard. If I express mine at all, I attempt to do so in as clear a way as possible so as to be heard as they are; to be then agreed with or not as the other person can & is willing. I don't express them to contradict others' and certainly not to affront or insult, but, of course, they come from my own conviction or they wouldn't exist.

I don't express mine as my claim that they are more 'so' than what I'm entitled to think, nor to present them as being less 'so' than I'm entitled to think, either. In a lively discussion with someone whose opinions I respect and have grown accustomed to open discussion, they are more likely to be expressed at all than otherwise. When they are, it's with respect for yours & merely as food for thought for you, not intended to be proclamations of universal truth. When a fallacy in them is pointed out, I am grateful for that clarification. Sometimes when one is a thinker & rather isolated, one's opinions take on 'life of their own'. :-] Likewise, where one is a thinker constantly bombarded with thoughtless opposition (or thoughtless agreement), one's appropriate reactions might become accustomed to those conditions. Opinions are products of subjectivity, so we must be aware of that, - giving 'benefit of doubt' to ourselves & to others.

My dear, I noted your gracious tone throughout your reply & appreciated it; also that it addressed & attributing some specific things to what I'd said in giving your response, which I appreciated, too. My elaborating further about slight differences in how it had been interpreted seemed to be at the invitation of further discussion, if I had anything further to offer, which I did. I apologize if it in any way felt combative or something.

First, I appreciated and agreed with your clarification that the emotions stem from the brain, as in the sense in which there are parts of the brain (though not necessarily, the analytical parts) in which emotions get their electrical impetus, where their fuel is activated, by which they make themselves known to oneself and where they're linked with the other lobes of the brain & become connected with the body parts involved.

Your mention of that prompted me to realize that I'd spoken inaccurately of emotions as though they had their own 'control box' located elsewhere in the body, which is not so & would actually contradict my own main point. Certainly they require our being able to be conscious of them, which is the brain's business & why they need to be linked to it! Otherwise, though we might recoil if being attacked by a bear whether or not it was a conscious awareness of and identification of it as in "OH! My terrorr'. Either way, there would be sufficient motivation by a danger to try to escape it, protect oneself from it, or give the bully as good as he dished out! Better to KNOW what's going on, though! Maybe ants merely instinctively scamper if they're sprayed with ant poison, but better to know, if one's a human being! Being aware via the brain illustrates interdependence & importance of harmony between all our systems of "being". Surely it's one reason we're at the top of evolutionary progression,- so far! Let's hope we aren't losing ground! :-)

In my life, I've always been a thinker without even 'thinking about it". For at least half of it, I seldom ever voiced it. I assumed, I suppose, that if it were 'my ideas', they were automatically less valid or important than all those of the wise & authoritative grownups surrounding me. There was an assumed sense of the inferiority of my own ideas, though I knew them as quite logical to me & when applied in practice (not discussion), as quite effective. In fact, in discussion, if I were to attempt it, they came out garbled from 'stage fright' or else 'too simplistic'. (Often that's their very best quality! hehe)

Gradually, though, I began to notice that those others' ideas were not always so logical OR effective, sometimes quite the opposite, if I discounted their swagger!

I began to think to myself, "Self, you & your ideas are surely as important & valid as they & theirs are!" Shocking thought, I thought - but there it was. Then something else began to haunt me: I could often see where mine were actually, in practice, better than 'theirs' sometimes. That scared the bejingles out of me! I was only barely used to being fairly OK & 'good enough' but there was no way I was prepared to exceed or excel, where 'others' were involved!! I'm not kidding. I knew that I could do things I did quite well & I found that my thoughts worked for me, but I had to gradually work through any awareness that "they & theirs" were ever less "right' or flawed in their conclusions & behavior! It was terrifying & sometimes, I just 'shoved' it out of my mind.

But fortunately, I was first to recognize that it was not 'always', for me or 'them, but just sometimes & that sometimes my ideas really weren't as good, (as I'd thought all along), but it was with a new awareness about evaluating them with a new ability to see which was which, so that I could actually discern, rather than assume; then I could proceed more productively to work on them without weighing their value with others', whether better than or worse than. I'd never been competitive, but when I realized who I was in this new light, there was really obviously no need to be! That was a relief. I never like to lose, nor do I like others to lose! What a relief to realize neither needs to! There are more than one valid opinions! Whew! When my stuff was really good or better, - well - all I had to do was recall those other times when it really was not - on its own merit, not as compared to someone else's!

It opened a newly discovered (or needed) ability to both give credit & benefit of doubt, both to myself and others; to see all of us as valuable, individual in every sense, & each fully entitled to BE (Courage to BE) -& to take full possession of our own being & all the space on earth to which entitled, - with that full awareness that we ALL have our own entitlement to BE & to fill & fulfil our own space; nor do we have to endure being denied those entitlements which simple ARE.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Ah, Nellieanna - I simply adore you! There is no need to apologize, as I was not offended by anything. I do not think you sounded contentious or inordinately adamant. Yes, you sounded adamant about your own opinion, but there is certainly nothing wrong with that. I think it was more the direction in which you went while making your point that surprised me. And, you used the word "abhor", which is right up there with "hate", if not above it. Both are very strong words, and I would go so far as to say that "abhor" has a connotation that might include feelings of disgust. Maybe adamant is the wrong word - perhaps emphatic? Either way, I always enjoy reading your comments and even our other discussions. I certainly hope I've not offended you in any way by giving you my honest reaction. Actually, you make some valid points after thinking about it more, even if it was not quite what I was trying to convey when I mentioned head and heart reactions. I'll have to read what you said more carefully, though, to fully digest it. Just know that I do appreciate your thoughts and opinions. Big hugs!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Please know that I almost NEVER attempt to 'explain myself'. This is a rarity! :-) Not sure if you should be honored or imposed upon! haha!

I really don't experience hate. Dislike, maybe, non-preference, sure. But when that family of emotion exists in me (infrequently anywhere near 'hate'), it's probably passed directly into abhorrence, which to me is not as emotional as is hate, nor as destructive (especially to my own system!)

It is somehow more about principles. As you say, it involves a feeling of disgust, or contempt, though those don't fully describe what I feel when I abhor something, either. I dunno, I'd almost say 'repulsion' or 'righteous indignation' but they're not 'it', either. It IS what it is: abhorrence, which is its own feeling, I guess, as in being the ultimate of that chain of negative responses or emotions, in a similar way as "Love" is the ultimate of pleasant, compatible, attracted-to, positive feelings & responses.

Adamant is a good word. It stems from adamantine, the characteristic of diamonds, which are crystals having both strength & vulnerability in their make-up. Diamond is the result of the arrangement of the atoms of its element, carbon. Diamond is the hardest material on earth. It can't be scarred by anything else, it can cut almost any other materials. But - It can be separated from itself easily if struck along the lines where its square molecules align in connected, smooth fence-like order, right next to another progression of its molecules so aligned. Those are its 'cleavage' lines which jewelers use to "cut" & shape diamonds as desired. (Gold also has square molecules, but it is an element, rather than a byproduct of an element as is diamond, of the element carbon. Gold is more pliable, obviously.)

Emphatic is a good word, too, though one I have so often used to describe my ex's manner, in which he bridged NO opposition or disagreement and was prepared to go to any extreme to establish his positions. I know it's not the actual definition of the word, but I've used it in my mind in trying to explain to myself (and sometimes to others) how it was that I believed he meant to do what he threatened enough to comply all those years. I don't, however, associate him with merely saying something 'for emphasis' which has a different connotation for me, non-aggressive and merely useful. What I was trying to say was neither 'emphatic' like him or merely for emphasis. My intention was simply stating as well as possible for clarification toward understanding.

So either word would fit a bit, &/or would not fit a bit. Just semantics, anyway! Main thing is that we are each accepted in the spirit in which it's said! That's how I feel too!

What you said also gives me more to think about. I also am familiar with the commonplace assumption that those who are 'ruled by' either head or heart ARE actually totally 'head; or 'heart' persons. I tend to think that what it is, is that they've been classified or have classified themselves that way for convenience and because it spares them each the need of applying themselves to the 'other side'. So easy to dismiss someone as just using 'all head' or 'all heart' about whatever might crop up for discussion. No need to try to understand the other's position if it is 'unbalanced' in the opposite direction to one's own, they can think. Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. End of discussion. hahaha. It happens, too, almost to that extreme, - from either Mars or Venus perspective!

I thank you and highly respect your thoughts & opinions too!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Hahahaha. See what happens when two "thinkers" try to have a discussion? I quite enjoy it,though. It makes me smile, even laugh a little. Do you know how rare it is that I can even attempt to have a discussion of this nature without someone either actually getting offended if I offer a different perspective in my response other than the one that was intended? More often that not, I either come across in much the way you thought you might have to me or the other person is so intent on being right that it is rather pointless to even offer my thoughts in the first place.

By the way, semantics, yes, but aren't they great? In writing, I sometimes find that the choosing of a particular describing word can change the entire connotation of a sentence. Sometimes, I consider carefully what word to use for that reason, but that is usually not so much so when in general discussion. Plus, I am generally more articulate in writing than when speaking, I think.

Now, I'll just add that it is nice to just BE with you! I do not expect you to explain yourself or to feel the need to do so. However, I appreciate that you did. If anything, it only furthers clarification and possibly discussion points. You're NEVER (yes, I do say never sometimes-haha) an imposition. :)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

By the way, this is kind of an example of what I had in mind: http://hubpages.com/literature/The-Cheating-of-the...

I think that more often than not, the mind and gut instincts are at war with one another. Same with the mind and emotions. Maybe it would be ideal to operate and function as one entity, but. . .

Though in relation to what you said - I'm not sure one can be entirely all head or all heart. I think you're right that that doesn't make much sense.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

I could not be more pleased than to hear that you value me and our discussions, which I also value - well, you, myself and our discussions! :-)

Oh, yes, Shan; - semantics are like the main course AND the dessert of us-writers'/thinkers' main meals! We 'make love' to the words, at the same time as requiring them to act as our sentinels and ambassadors! We might be able to survive without them; - but would the rest of the world not be deprived of our input if we were?

One who commands the language commands a retinue of worthy staff-members and may even acquire an army of influence, if the command is beneficent - or even if it's malevolent, unfortunately. The temptations of power are every bit as strong when commanding words as in any other venue! Making sure one's motives are as worthy as one's words is vital.

Time was I was almost ONLY articulated in my writing, but I came out of my introverted, bookworm closet & discovered I do have an audible voice as well; - when I finally conquered that much of my stage fright. Here's a little poem I wrote about it when it first began to change:

Cocoon-cracked,

Bookworm becomes

Butterfly.

Yet hovers here

Among the pages

A little longer,

Always

To return for rest

And vital nourishment.

_____© Nellieanna H. Hay

1-12-73

I'm honored to be entitled to your rare use of 'NEVER" in assuring me I'm no imposition! I am also careful about using 'never' & 'always', since I'm pretty sure there are - uh - never any guarantees of either timing! hehe But - mostly because they are so generally used in hurling unflattering insults at someone, such as "You never do anything right" or "You always act so mean" - etc. Those - uh - always need at least to be qualified statements, even if they're sometime so! :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Thank you for that link - I visited it & left a comment.

I can perceive that intellectually you see that heart and head can cooperate but experience has not proven it so. Your summation of the former is a thinking about it and your poem on the link is your feeling about it.

No one said there may not be a war zone before a truce is recognized as 'built-in' to the human system.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Haha. Nice play on words in your "never" and "always" comments. As for the link - yeah, something like that. There are some experiences that have taught me that and others that have taught me just the opposite.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Aha - Yes, experience brings both the yes and the no, the yin and the yang, the dark and the light, at times, from which we must learn what or which applies to what comes our ways - or else figure out how to give what comes a sense of our more preferred direction, - as & how we find we can!

We get to 'do' by doing and to learn by learning; - it is ALL valuable, so long as we are sensitive to it and ready to move along the path.

I am reminded of much reading of Carl Rogers, Abraham Maslow and Alan Watts when they had essential effects on my course of becoming. Yes.

Hugs, my very loved & valued Shan!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

"Do I contradict myself? / Very well then I contradict myself, / (I am large, I contain multitudes.)" - Walt Whitman


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Ah. To what, then, do you attribute - or apply - that? ;-)

Even better. . . why?


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Figuring THAT out was for your musing! It just seemed to fit the thread of our discussion here. LOL


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Well, then, you've answered my questions - . . . . . :-)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Hahahaha! Good! Thanks for the laugh, btw. It was especially needed tonight. :) Maybe when you're through musing, you can share your musings. ;)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

:-) - Oh, but - I am through with the musing! ;-) Didn't you see? That was it!

Glad your spirits were lifted! Good ole Walt; always can count on him for that.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Really wanna know what I see?

Then you're surely gonna beat me.

Because what it is that I see

She who must speak last is Nellie!

Bwahahahah


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Sure, if you want me to see!

Perhaps what you see is so, - but it's not to seize control. It just seems impolite and inconsiderate to not acknowledge what the other person said, and to relate to it. You're the same way, I think, so it keeps our dialogs going far into the night and beyond! Bwahahahah - yourself. tee hee

However, honestly - that wasn't the conclusion of MY musings, but of yours!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Yes, I suppose that I am. Even now, it is hard to resist the urge to let you know you made me literally laugh out loud! What fun you are. ;)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Good night, m'dear.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Nellieanna,

What a pleasure it is to meet you, though I must admit... I trembled violently while typing your name, as I feared the potential of a typo :D

I will tell you that the lovely shanmarie has insisted, almost as violently, that I come by your way and here I am. I have seen you grace the pages of the Hub in the few months I have been here and I regret it took so long for me to come over. Now that that's out of the way; what a wonderful hub! I hope I can walk away from this having learned something, as I struggle with overanalyzing everything, all the time. I used to be proud of my ability to truly understand things on the deepest of levels, but now, I realize it is often a curse. I will never just accept anything as the "simple truth" but must always look for a deeper meaning and reasoning. It's rather heavy and quite annoying. So how does one find a happy-medium? When you are overanalytical by nature, how do you curve that? Are we capable of turning it off or tuning it out?

I very much enjoyed this... and I must mention that you are a very interesting lady with a lot to say... any one of your comments could be a book in itself!

Up, awesome, beautiful and interesting!

Cat


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Cat, I am never violent! What is it with you and Colin? He's accusing me of stinging like a hornet to keep him in line and you are accusing me of "violently insisting"! It was a polite mention. :-p

Nellieanna, I enjoyed the hub and the discussion the second time around!


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Gee shanmarie, don't you recognize humor when you see it? :D ... I'm just playing DF... and that stands for doll face :D


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

So was I. :-p


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Hello, Cat. Thank you for visiting my hub site and wading through this hub, written early-on n in my HP career, before, - if there were 'stats' for keeping up with how many words, - I was unaware . . . not that I always curb them, even so! Come to think of it, this isn't the lengthiest of the lot; - and there are a LOT.

Oh, oh. Was the deal about the name too much? May I fetch you a sedative for the violent trembling . . . or have you your own? ;-) Not to worry. All in good fun. Typos are always welcome. They keep me encouraged that I'm not the only one!

Seriously, I'm most honored and humbled by Shan's kind recommendation and by your gracious follow-through. I've also seen your comments on other mutual friends' hubs, and have intended to delve further.

I'm especially pleased that you find value in this hub. Someone once told me, "You think too much." Of course, thought I, doesn't everyone? (In truth, - not necessarily!) Different thinking for different folks. I have learned to recognize and value the 'other' functions of this brain, along with its 'mind' or intellect. They're designed to work well together, less well when parts become isolated an take over the whole shebang. No faculty or function need be slighted or 'turned off or tuned out' if we've allowed them all to work in harmony. When they are (in harmony) each rises to and attends to its function rationally and/or feelingly as fits; at least that is my experience.

Nothing heavy or annoying about someone's search for deeper meaning and reasoning. I applaud it.

Thanks again for visiting and leaving a thoughtful, meaningful comment, Cat!!

(. . . meanwhile, feel welcome to talk among yourselves. . . .:-) - and have a great Memorial Day!)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Nellieanna, that's not a good thing to let us loose doing....my twin sister here tends to take over the comment section of others' hubs. ;)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

This one has already endured its share of ample piracy during its 3-year voyage. It will either bear up or a plank will be installed! Advise packing water wings and shark repellant!

(If your warning holds true, perhaps it will turn out to be a boon to mine and/or a service to other comment sections! ;-)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

I'm gonna take that as a compliment - unless you're the shark!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

One of the mysteries of the sea!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Hmmm...maybe that's why cats find you so intimidating. ;) I hope you don't bite hard, as I forgive and usually forget easily, but a missing limb is not something to forget.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Be assured. I'm the captain. . . a placid captain in the conn steering the ship & viewing the radar screen with my purring cat on my lap. No sharks involved unless/until the captain puts out the plank. Sharks are hungry & trained, however. ;-p . . . y'don't want to mess with 'em.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Nellieanna...my internet keeps going down, thus it keeps hanging up on you!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Golly, gee! You train sharks?


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Nellieanna,

First, I must thank you for allowing me to grace your sacred pages, as a certain fellow hubber and new dear friend of mine whose name I shall not mention but note, starts with shan and ends with marie, has done nothing but sing your praises for much of yesterday. I will reluctantly admit, as I revealed to her, that I have seen you around, but found myself intimidated and figured I ought to leave you alone as rejection often hurts :D

Second, I would like to apologize for my delay, but I am so very behind in my emails and what with having something of an ADD-like personality, I find myself taking one step forward and two steps back.

I would like to note that I can appreciate a woman with a lot to say and that places you very highl in my book :D

Well, I certainly hope I didn’t imply that you had been over the top with your deal about the name. As you now know of my previous and potentially current intimidation, I meant for that to be funny… and now you know :D

Yes, typos can be much fun, shanmarie and I refer to them as ‘spinach in your teeth’. We have remarked about how people will read a hub with an error and fail to mention such. Then when finally realizing the faux pas ourselves, we hang our head in shame and embarrassment; much like having something in your teeth and after, wondering how many people engaged in conversation without politely pointing it out.

Boy oh boy, forgive me if I appear dizzy from this point on, but the mention of you intending to delve further warranted for a cartwheel :D

I don’t know if it’s a treat or a curse about thinking so much… I often wonder why other people are so simply and cannot engage in conversation in which I am dying to have. How many times I have had a loved one, specifically a man, gazing intensely out the passenger window, in what appears to be a moment deep in thought. I ask “What’s on your mind”… the reply; “Nothing”. Seriously, is that possible? Is there a way to have literally, nothing on one’s mind? My thoughts are always, maybe nothing worth much value, but surely there is something? Your take on the matter is simply wonderful and I shall return to those thoughts until I am able to apply them personally.

Thank you for allowing me admittance to your page… I shall be back for more, so long as I am welcomed :D You are a bright and engaging lady and a pleasure to know.

You have a great Memorial Day as well!

Cat


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Pardon me dear Nellieanna, but Shanmarie!!! You are a glutton for punishment and you encourage further conversation... and I don't know how to walk away from it :D I still love you, even though you threw me under the bus. I suppose it beats being eaten by sharks :D


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

You don't know how to walk away? You simply say, "goodbye" :-p. Or, you fall asleep with your feet in the air and wake up with an achy tail bone. I told ya that my face in my keyboard is not the most comfortable positions in which to slumber, but at least my tailbone is not sore. Besides, if you're like me - you do walk away and multi-task back and forth from the computer! Love you, too.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

No problem, Shan. The purpose was served, so we'd finished talking.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Oh, no,no! Not personally. . . professional trainer; someone who knows the risks and who is willingly dispensable . . . in case the sharks take over the training, don'tcha know. . . ! (Especially once they're fully primed!)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

OH dear, I just left a rather lengthy comment that seems to have not published. Did you feed it to the sharks? Those fully primed, hungry sharks . . .


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Cat, I'm going to try to resist attempting to reply thoroughly to everything you've mentioned, because I perceive that you're somewhat harried by so much needing to be caught up & attended to, one thing on top of another. I'm acknowledging your splendid thank you. No need for any fretting whatsoever. I've read a few of your hubs and it's clear that you've been away and that the backlog has piled up! In such circumstances, surely everyone has a 'one-step-forward-two-back' attack! Your followers are so enamored with you, besides, so that it must require tight-rope balancing to keep it all intact!

There's both much and little to say about my name-thing. As the hub itself explained, it's a sort of banner for the lift-off & flight to finding my courage to be myself. I simply decided what name I preferred (against what had seemed to be the current). It was simply my real one!

I'm no longer concerned if someone chooses some other name for me; but I'm gratified when folks simply accept my own preference; and more so if they spell it right, including the overabundance of vowels in the middle!! (result of sliding two separate given names together into the one!)

After well-over half of 81 years struggling with name-issues, there's simply no residue of room for any further concern,- except, perhaps occasionally, in fun, as this was, along with several earlier comments! Nothing more, nothing less! :-) NP.

BTW, I've grown to accept what people say in their own behalf, basically 'at face value' (give or take my own private sense of it). So - If I ask what's on someone's mind and the reply is "nothing", I respect & accept it as their preferred reply then - and try to express my acceptance of it. In fact, any reply they give says a lot. It may be saying that he wants to just ponder things. I find that "the truth will out" - IF it should; and I'm willing to be patient meanwhile, which is more likely to encourage it, if it needs & wants to be shared, than a full-frontal attack. ;-) It will NOT be dragged out of someone; at least, not without damage, if only subcutaneously, where it can start to fester!

In any case, the other person's lead about him/herself is to be respected and given full precedence, whatever conjectures I might or might not tend to nourish in my own mind about it. Being perceptive and sensitive, I find that more is often conveyed without words, anyway, along with the advantage of not needing to 'take them back'!

Also, I've found acceptance of the other's lead about her/his own private feelings and thoughts to be the best way to disarm the . . er . . . 'guy'. ;-D OK, so I have my resources. . . Meanwhile, one can decide what to express of one's own thoughts (or not), being assured that IS one's own unmitigated prerogative too!

Just my 'take' on it. . . . for what it may be worth.

I welcome you to my page and enjoy your comments! No fuss, no muss!

PS. Sharks are imaginary, of course. Captain-ship isn't. :-D


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Shan - no. You see, I don't feed the sharks personally. Did it contain any shark-food of which you're aware? They are quite voracious; they smell 'food' in cans!

(You could check it out and try posting it again. . . )


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

I shall have to rewrite it all. ...sigh. . .


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Nellieanna,

Oh please, take no pity on me or my situation, by all means, if you have something to say, say it... I will get there; but I do appreciate the patience. I don't know as if I would say enamored, but I like to be nice to people and some get more excited than others :D

The message in the name scenario; finding the courage to be yourself; that is extremely inspiring, encouraging and empowering!

Who said something about 81 years? It surely couldn't have been you; what would you know about 81 years after only living 30 or so yourself?

I value your opinion on handling those with simple answers; patience will bring more words with it should there be any to express. I will make an honest effort to let thoughts naturally flourish into spoken words if that is the case and accept and appreciate moments that have no words at all. Yes, I have a tendency to speak before I think and I have, more than once had to remove my foot from my mouth... seems easier to just think first, much less effort required.

Just your 'take' on it, is just right!

Thanks for the wisdom and the laughs!

Cat


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

OOPs,Shan. When that happens to me & I've not saved a copy, I tend to chalk it up to guardian angels' stepping in. Who knows?


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

No pity involved, Cat. But. . . I've BTDT. It is challenging. Of course, you'll get there, wherever you prefer to 'get to' and whatever the specific challenges. Go, girl!

Enamored was simply my word for devotion I noticed which seems a palpable paean to your charm.

I did have something to say and said it. :-)

Oh yes; you're absolutely right! - I've lived 30 years! 2.6 times already, in fact, - so far! haha. . .I'm going for at least 3.3 times. I like a nice round significant number, you see!

I have to agree that it's easier to deal with unspoken boo-boos than with spoken ones; - and I've plenty of experience on which to draw!

Well, my take on it is just what it is. If it makes sense to you, of course, I'm pleased. If it doesn't, that's OK, too.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Well, unless Nellieanna's sharks ate the rest of my comment, only the first paragraph appeared. I did ask if she was going to sic the sharks on me. . . maybe I shouldn't have. ;)

I maybe should adopt your habit of writing outside of the HP comment box, Nellieanna.

I was saying that if I seem to invite further conversation, it is only because I, too, enjoy the conversation and the thought process involved. You are free to answer as you wish, when you wish, if you wish. Even to answer as you wish outside the confines of HP. YOU, my dear sweet sister make that call. I really try not to make anyone feel obligated to answer me because I don't want that; it isn't honest communication. I only am here if you wish to share, and so long as you know that, it is good - even if it is just to smart off some joke to me.

As for the rest of it. . .I said something to the effect of knowing what you mean about hungering for that kind of conversation and thinking too much. Well, maybe not the same exact kind you long to have if you mean between a man and that kind of intimacy - but conversations of a deeper, more thoughtful nature. I don't do it on purpose, but whenever someone seems to invite or encourage it from me and that person is someone I deem trustworthy enough, I find myself opening up more, not just on the generalized terms of how philosophies apply to life or people...well, in general. . .but also as how they apply to myself now or in the past. Sometimes, it seems like that encourages others to reveal more thought sto me than intended, and while I find that to be almost of an honor, comforting, and stimulating, 9 times out of 10, it has not a good ending for me. It is almost as if I start to feel like the other person thinks I may be probing, which of course is unintentional if I do, though I usually just speak in terms of myself and the other person can offer in return or choose not to.

I don't take what is said as a means to judge, but rather just absorb the information or reply further if it sparks more thoughts. Blame it on my fascination with personality or in trying to understand the whys of my own self better, but for whatever reason - that seems to be the gist of it. One reason I don't open up more. It's much easier to share thoughts such as this in writing. If I do it in person, it somehow seems to make a relationship of any nature fall apart, almost as if I seem to be probing when that is not my intention. It just makes others uncomfortable, and I have learned that the hard way many times over. I may want a sounding board to bounce my thoughts off of and maybe get an opinion or thought in return, and it may even be comforting in a way - but not always the best of ideas.

There is a kind of comfort in being privy to someone else's intimate or almost intimate thoughts, and in being comfortable enough to be myself and share my own as I think and consider things, but it is also disarming in many ways, which might be one of the reasons people run from me! Haha! But, when it is all said and done, I actually enjoy being challenged like that to think. Just a matter of whether or not someone chooses to converse in the same or like manner.

But, Cat, people are people. And you are you whether you choose to converse or not, whether you are irritable at any given moment or say something out of line. . .people grow and change as they consider things. Like you said, why should one judge you when that same one is likely trying to figure out his or her own self! As you're always telling me - let 'er rip! I, for one, will love ya anyway. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, right? We all make mistakes, say or do things we wish we hadn't.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Well, if that's the case, Nellieanna, I just ignored them.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Nellieanna,

I first felt compelled to say 'You're too funny'; but why? Why do we say that? Is funny dangerous? Okay, speaking from experience... I suppose it can be at times, but I would suspect you can understand that one. You are très amusant though... is it safer that way?

Now that I've had time to soak it in, yes... I think enamored is right ;-)

Here's to 3.3 times! :D and yes... your words have pleased me :-) ha ha.

I see shanmarie's written a novel, I suppose I'll have to skim through to see if there's any pertinent information in there :p


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Probably not. ahaha....just my ramblings. :-p


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

shanmarie,

Actually that was quite lovely and I probably agree with everything you said and could obnoxiously repeat it all here, but you already said it so perfectly. For the record... I don't think you seem to be probing. I see you as the type that says your door is always open and you're welcome to come in, but you don't drag people kicking and screaming. And no, I wasn't referring to men or that kind of intimacy in particular, for one, men seem to usually tend to be of few words anyway; just people in general... I like to understand them so I can appreciate them and how they think more. Like Nellieanna said, it's easier to get the quite person to talk by simply being patient and creating a comforting atmosphere.

I think you're just right shanmarie and we're very similar in a lot of ways :D


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Aw, and you're just right too. How sweet you are!

You don't know me, yet. . . ;) You said yourself, I side-step and circle some comments on here. LOL


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Did I tell you that you think too much, Nellieanna? LOL


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

I'm Ok, You're Ok!!

I mean it sincerely.

Hugs and love.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Isn't that a song or something? Of course you're OK; you're always okay in my book! I don't even know if that was directed at me. LOL...was just thinking I think too much (and probably did so in thinking about that!) but sometimes thinking too much applies to certain situations. :-p That said, in all seriousness - the way you think is one of the things I admire about you. It makes me think, and your poetry often challenges my thinking. I take away more than you know. ...all good, of course. :)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Shan, I think there may have been a song by that title, but I'm not familiar with it, nor was I referring to it.

There was nothing sinister in my comment. It simply summed up my response to all the foregoing comments in a quite positive way.

Actually it referred to a title of a very popular 1960s self-help book by a leading psychologist, which was when (and the most recent time) I've run across it. Even after all the immediate clamor died down, after its publication, the book stayed on the New York best seller list for two or more years. The positive ring to the title's declaration has stuck with me ever since.

It involved Transactional Analysis; but, In brief, the premise is that humans develop their underlying mental states which set up their 'life positions' very young. It sums these up as these self-explanatory potential positions:

1. I'm Not OK, You're OK

2. I'm Not OK, You're Not OK

3. I'm OK, You're Not OK

4. I'm OK, You're OK

It emphasizes how people's 'life positions' affect their communications (i.e.: transactions) and relationships.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

Cat, I suppose that 'too funny' might imply 'over-the-top-funny', which surely is what high-powered comics would give a Malibu estate to be! I've no ambitions or tendencies in that direction, since my humor tends to be of an unpredictable affiliative style; if & when occurring, it's rather spontaneous. I simply don't know how to "try" to be funny & admire/envy people who can write and write pages (or perform hours and hours) of funny stuff. So no Malibu mansions for me!

I'm certainly not put off by the compliment that I'm funny! Wowser! hehe. Thank you for introducing me to très amusant. If there had been a problem, which was not the case, - yes - it would have been safer, since I had to go dig it out. My Mac online dictionary didn't list it, so I had to go to Google. haha. Now it's forever mine! heh heh. How I treasure my few French phrases. :-D


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

I'm not sure that you could ever be sinister, Nellieanna! How could someone that has walked the track while "dancing" to disco be sinister? ;) I was simply saying something I meant to say to you awhile back and had not yet...

Maybe that the book is why I've heard the phrase before. . .knew it sounded familiar.

Hugs and love to you as well.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS Author

That's what I said: nothing sinister in it! :-)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

:-p. . .

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working