Life Experience - The Day I Became Jennifer
Sometimes, things happen for a reason. Like a few months ago, I had a doctor's appointment at 8:45 in the morning. I was running late so I skipped breakfast. After my appointment I walked to the nearby mall to have some coffee and to my pleasant surprise, there was a new Tim Hortons inside the mall. Tim Hortons is Canadian, as Starbucks is American--only Tim Hortons is much cheaper. And those Canadians who say they like Starbucks better than Tim Hortons, are deemed to be traitors.
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A woman was just leaving the cashier with her order so I thought "Lucky me, just in time." I proceeded directly to the cashier and got my order. I didn't realized until I had sat down and started eating my breakfast that there was a lineup. Oh my Lord, I could have been beaten to an inch of my life by these caffiene-deprived people and any judge in the land would have said "Completely understandable!".... but this is Toronto, nobody said a word. Phew.
Then I heard the cashier said "Next."
And again "Next please."
I looked at the man next in line, he was an older man and looking at the wrong cashier. The guy behind him tapped him on the shoulder and pointed at the open cashier. The older man was kinda surprised and said to the cashier he was looking at that he now got a new girl. He said to the other cashier, "You are my #2 girl. She (pointing to the other cashier) is my #1 girl." Both cashiers just smiled... "Must be a regular," I thought.
The older man got his coffee and walked slowly towards the tables, but no vacant table. I was the only one at my table and so I motioned for him to take a seat and removed my purse from the chair. He thanked me profusely and said I was now his new girl. I said "#3 girl." He was amused that I played along.
He said, "I got 5 girlfriends. I fall in love very fast. And you know what they say about falling in love fast, I get out of there really fast too."
I laughed out loud.
He asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend.
I said I'd think about it.
He asked me if I was married.
I said "No. I'm a widow," and added, "And you?"
He said he was divorced. He's been divorced since 1989.
Then he said "You are thirty years old. See, I don't ask for people's age. I give them their age, and you are thirty." Well, who am I to argue?
And then he asked me "How old do you think I am?"
Oh my Lord, I hate this question. This man looked like he's in his 80's... but what if I was wrong. He was waiting for an answer.
So I said "You're 68."
"Wrong," he said. "I'm 63."
Well, I'll be darn! I almost spit out my coffee, but I tried not to laugh in case he was really 63. That would have been awfully embarrasing, wouldn't it?
So I played along. I said "Ok, you're the same age as me.. 30."
He said "Wrong again. I gave you 30 and I'm giving myself 63. (whispering, don't ask me why) I'm really 83." I was right!
He asked me for my name. I told him. He said his favourite name is Jennifer. So that day, I became Jennifer.
Bert (that was his name) was a very amusing man. It turned out that Bert was in the entertainment business of sort. Here's his business card...
I had such a lovely time chatting with Bert and laughing at his jokes, that I asked if I could take his picture. He said, "Sure. Why not." A passerby stopped to help take our pictures. Bert wanted copies of our pictures but he didn't have an email. So he gave me his real business card and asked if I could send him our pictures in the mail. I assured him I would.
And before I left, I gave Bert a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He said "Ohhh thank you, Jennifer. You're adorable."
As I walked away, I wondered who the real Jennifer was. Was she the love of his life? Was she the girl that got away? Or was Jennifer his cat? I'll never know. But that day, I was Bert's Jennifer. And I was adorable.
"A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed."
- Henrik Ibsen
"Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him."
- Aldous Leonard Huxley, Texts and Pretexts, 1932
More Life Experience by Rosie 2010
- Life Experience - The Day I Became Jennifer
- Life Experience - Walking Can Be Hazardous to Your Health
- Life Experience - The New Love of My Life
Life Experience - A scene from the movie "Life is Beautiful"
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