The Dream and the Process
Overlooking down the vast valley every morning;
From the mountaintop where I stand;
I see you CMU (Central Mindanao University)
And as I look down towards your direction where
You look like gold nuggets under the bright sun afar in that 1000-hectares of a university campus, my dream was born screaming aloud for only the sky and the wind and the monkeys and the birds and the insects in this mountain forest where I am to hear;
“I will come to you CMU, be one of your best students, one day, someday.”
Several full moons had passed and I am still here on the great mountain forest consistently and diligently continuing to look your direction in a daily basis; my heart is full of longings to be with you;
You sit there like the stars in the sky, so near yet so far, unreachable;
Papa says I have to slowly but surely make small steps on a sure and stable ground towards wherever I want to go; God made us feet instead of wings so we walk in sure steps rather than fly high in the sky for a short cut to our distant destiny
Hubby says go to high school nearby, spend the week there and come home to the forest mountain to be with the baby in the weekend;
Sounds logical and achievable but not to my wishes;
I go straight to you CMU, a university college student, not a high school student in an unknown, unpopular and insignificant school, no, I am better than that, much better!
If birds have wings to fly short cut and soar high up to a lofty distant place then I am better than birds therefore I got something much better than wings I can do shorter cuts to much higher places, to my destiny! There must be a life’s process; my precious life has a special built-in process;
Isn’t that I was created a little lower than angels and is crowned with glory and honor and a being that is the crown of all creation? I am better than birds and all the beasts in their animal kingdoms;
My mind can fly and soar much higher and much quicker than the powerful eagle in its powerful achievement, it can reach the utmost part of the universe and reach the stars in a twinkle of an eye, I am much better than insentient beasts in the jungle; Everything is possible for me, whatever any beast can do I can do better, I can surf the deepest ocean better than a whale or the gigantic squid or the octopus;
Life is a process; it is a sure process unique to an individual in all its inherent and circumstantial components that starts in the laboratory of the mind;
So here I come to you CMU, when all the prerequisites of my dreams are done I will be walking on your ground;
Then another baby came, I got two now, am I drifting farther away from you CMU?
No way, my determination cannot be bargained;
The new baby, a baby girl this time is among the dreams I created in my mind that must happen in my life in perfect order, it should come first so my next achievement is you CMU;
Everything should be processed in perfect timing, harmony and in perfect order according to my dreams;
I have lived 24 years in this life and my burning desire to become a somebody, at least a Bachelor’s Degree holder from a prestigious university like you CMU is consistently poking inside my head; but first things first…how…I have no idea, but the Universe continues to dance and I dance with it in harmony;
Then it came to pass that I had to take a vacation to the city, leaving the mountain forest for a while;
In the city there was a birthday celebration for my hubby’s VIP friend who was a Malacanang palace connection; he was supposed to be an influential person; the celebration was done in a night spot where sex and lasciviousness are the games in life;
Young girls who were ago-go dancers entertaining drinking and drunken customers; for me in such a place feels like I am in hell’s innermost chamber, I wanted to run away as far and fast as I can; My anger to my hubby at the time cannot be contained so I got up, went to the lady’s room, fixed my make up and went to another table, an empty table where I can sit alone and away from that long table where the celebrant and all his cohorts, each had a young girl in bikini sitting beside him, cuddling and kissing like sex hungry beasts; I did not want to be sitting beside my husband in that situation, I felt like I was his prostitute just as the girls who were there;
On the table where I now sit, a man approached me asking permission to sit there which I replied positively yet with a hand-offish attitude; he then started to ask me questions that annoyed me so we started a little argument which drew attention from my hubby’s company in the long table; this triggered the fight which when I realized it was big trouble I instantly went out from the establishment, hailed a taxi once outside and went home;
The following morning, the celebrant went visit us at home or in that temporary place where we were transient for the vacation period; hubby was urging me to apologize for my behavior the night before which I vehemently refused; he negotiated for me to just write my apology in which he handed me a pen and a piece of paper to write on; I wrote some but not an apology, this was what I wrote to the effect, “Eugene this is to let you know that I never apologize to people I consider are spending their time in hell, I respect angels but I disdain demons…” and more explanations; hubby did not read what I wrote, he assumed I followed his command so he handed the note to Eugene(the celebrant VIP);
Reading my letter surprised him (Eugene) which led him to ask my hubby why he kept me to live in that high mountain forest when I should be working in the city because I got brains and education; he based his contention on the letter I wrote him;
Hubby then replied and revealed to Eugene that I was not even a high school graduate;
Coincidentally Eugene’s wife was the principal of a public high school so in this case he suggested strongly for me and his wife to meet;
At the end of my happy meeting with Nene (Eugene’s wife) an agreement was reached that I would be enrolled as a ghost student in her school which means that I can relax at home while officially enrolled for two years in Junior and Senior high school; I just had to make home study diligently the textbooks that she sent to me in several boxes;
I became a high school graduate after two years but I was pregnant with my second baby and right after her birth I received the NCEE result that I took a year earlier after my “graduation”; this was the National College Entrance Examination where every high school graduate at that time had to get at least a score of 35 to qualify him to a college education; I got 94, the highest score they ever had in the locality at the time;
Then I took the scholarship exam of CMU which I passed with flying colors;
The first day I stepped on the ground of CMU as a student I whispered to myself “CMU I am here, you are my dream-come-true…how long has it been since my dream of you was born? Four years ago you were just a distant seemingly unreachable image in my wildest dream, now I am here with you after such a long process that fit my desires for this dream to manifest…”
I was stubborn and from this experience I learned something valuable in life as far as making a dream come true : “keep the dream alive regardless of circumstances in a given time and place…the right people, the right incident and the right opportunity will surround you, all you do is to open your eyes and live your natural personality sincerely…don’t chase a dream in your own “logical” method, don’t rely on your limited knowledge nor be strayed away through listening to other people’s suggestions when it is not what you really want; the universe with its perfect dance, will carry you to your dream, be true to your self.
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