The Fear of Change

Entering the unknown

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

I still remember the time when my husband had asked me to help organize his office as business expanded. I was more than happy to be of assistance, and use my skills to make the improvements. I immediately went to work, redesigned the spaces, moving, removing, adding furniture, and made sure there was going to be better work flow, and everyone would be happier. It was not the case, and i was surprised at what i sensed to be an indifference towards what i had done. It threw me off. I stood my ground, and kept my professional hat on, very tightly that day. It dawned on me, it wasn't really about me, as much as it was about change. The slight adjustment had created so much apprehension, it triggered fears of the 'unknown', of what may happen next. In time, everyone realized we had done what was right, and we managed to build trust in every decision we made.

Change can be a choice or an eventuality that has either occurred, or will yet occur to anyone of us. It defies gender, race, age, social status, and calling. The best, the mightiest and the least amongst us will travel this often unsettling road, with some, more than others. There are no permanent comfort zones in any lifetime. We know it takes only a catastrophic 'earthquake', a tsunami, or a call from a doctor, to change our whole world. We can be happy one day, and the next day, won't know what hit us.

When i was young, i thought of life as a fairytale, and believed i was a princess who would always be protected by her royal dad and handsome prince charming. But, that all went crashing down when the king lost everything and my husband prince messed around with other princesses. My life changed and what i didn't like was that fact that i had no control over anything. It happened. But, looking back now, it was a good thing. I grew up and wised up quickly. Of course there were a lot of struggles, emotionally and psychologically. Thank God for kind and caring souls who saw me through the changes. This is part of the journey, is finding gems of friendships and just goodness along the way.

Why do we fear change? It's facing the unknown, that which is unfamiliar to us. We don't like being removed from what we are used to, even if its a bad relationship. I know of some women who stayed with abusive partners and were more afraid of being alone. Year after year, they lived through their nightmare and just accepted their plight. That is sad. But, there were those who found the courage and the strength in giving up, rather than giving in. There is a point when a decision has to be made, a so called crossroad, when you know, you must make the move. You can stay, or remain status quo, but that decision may eventually 'kill' you, in more ways than one.

Its the same in our business life. We face the realities of a precarious world economy that has affected families in almost every level. But, most of us like to cry foul and complain, asking, demanding for change, from government, our leaders, our spouses, as if they have the power to save us. The truth is, they are just as limited, and probably clueless as to where to find solutions. So, where do we go from there? If they can't bring on this change, who will?

The first place we must go to is within ourselves. We determine if there is a need for change in our life, and if we are willing take the steps to see that happen. Here are a few tips, if you need to make changes.

1.Make the decision, don't look back. Be true to yourself and your conviction.

2.Step out of your comfort zone, which will require from you real determination to move on. If you don't get past this, then you lose.

3.Don't look for a crystal ball, there is none. Do your homework and learn, which is something nobody else will do for you.

4.Evaluate your risks, if there's any. Often what we fear is all in our imagination and are never realities. You can overcome fear, or let it stop you.

5.Think ideas. Brainstorm with trusted friends, or family. You never know what you can come up with.

6.Take the leap. Run. Once you do this, you will actually find just how rewarding it is.

7.Don't stress by looking too far into the future. Make each day count and give it your best shot.

8.Be confident and full of expectations. It never hurts to believe that good things can happen, esp, when you are convinced you are on the right tract.

9.Keep focused. No matter how difficult things may get, stick to your plans and vision.

10.Celebrate your success and breakthrough. It's OK to pat yourself, or blow your own horn, just in case no one else will.


Change can be dreadful. It has a way of putting our lives in a spin, like it did mine. I was married for almost 30 years to a man who had always provided for our family. He was 54 yrs old when was diagnosed with liver cancer, and within 4 months, he was gone. It was drastic and so unexpected, i was not prepared to face life alone. I mourned his death, at the same time, dreaded the uncertainty of my future. In my sorrow and loss, i found a wonderful loving community. Although my faith wavered at times, i found comfort in knowing i was not alone. Despite my doubts, i manage to take some little steps, recover, and redefine who i was.

Change can be threatening and liberating. It's like the seasons, when we make adjustments, but we cannot ignore the beauty and variety it unfolds. It's an inevitable cycle that the heavens purposed, just like every dark night that passes, then brings us, the most glorious morning.

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Comments 25 comments

goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

Well said.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 7 years ago from Hawaii Author

Thanks so much goldentoad.


mermaidajm 7 years ago

Awesome!


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 7 years ago from Hawaii Author

Thanks mermaid! It's something we all need to apply in this current situation we all find ourselves.


Hermanvanvelzer 7 years ago

One day at a time


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 7 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

Thank you for using my request to share your insightful thoughts on change. I identify very much with number 6..take the leap. You are so right that once you are actually running and on your way, your fears are on the backburner, or maybe even gone altogether, because you are so busy moving forward.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 7 years ago from Hawaii Author

Thanks Sally! It was my pleasure to share a bit of what i understand about the subject of change. It's very timely. Taking the leap is easier said than done for many of us. But, once we've overcome that which stops us from doing it, wow! There;s nothing like being liberated! Thanks for the visit.


aka-dj profile image

aka-dj 7 years ago from Australia

Good hub. BIG topic. So many fear change, yet it's the one constant in life. It helps if we can take some control of the changes that happen to us. Even better if we let the Author of Life, orchestrate the directions of our life journey.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 7 years ago from Hawaii Author

aka-dj, you are right. It's a much broader topic and i'm sure we have more to address about why we resist and fear change. I can write about my God orchestrated personal journey, maybe next time. Thanks for your input.


trish1048 profile image

trish1048 7 years ago

This is beautifully written.  I am one of those who resist change.  It doesn't matter what it is, whether it affects my spending habits, my love life, my family, my professional life or my health.  I tend to get a knee-jerk reaction and my brain scrambles to have to suddenly think of a different way of doing things.  It starts with lots of questions.  Is this the way to go?  Should I talk to someone?  Should I stay with the status-quo?  Eventually, I adjust, and as you mention, realize that sometimes things are beyond our control.

I certainly can identify with loss.  I lost both parents and my hubby.  They were young when they passed.  Both parents were 59 when they died and my hubby died in an accident at age 36.  I have been single ever since.  I've written about that in my hub Suddenly Alone.

This journey called life certainly has its bumps and sometimes even ditches.  How we handle them says a lot about our character.  I know I've made some wrong decisions, but who hasn't?  It's the getting beyond the circumstances and moving forward with just a little more wisdom than we had before.

Great hub, and thanks for sharing :)


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 7 years ago from Hawaii Author

Trish: Thanks for sharing your own dilemma. Such is our one lifetime journey, where some events will just happen, and others we can make choices. I must read your hubs.


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

Change is inevitable as nothing stays the same unfortunately.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 7 years ago from Hawaii Author

Cindyvine: Yes, that's for sure! Thanks for your comment.


frogyfish profile image

frogyfish 7 years ago from Central United States of America

Very well expressed, and very good reminders that I must keep. Thank you!


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 7 years ago from Hawaii Author

Thanks too frogyfish.


Wealthmadehealthy profile image

Wealthmadehealthy 7 years ago from Somewhere in the Lone Star State

Wonderful reading in this day of change...Thank you for writing this...


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 7 years ago from Hawaii Author

Frogyfish: Thanks for your very nice words

Thanks Wmh! Appreciate your visit and comment


skye2day profile image

skye2day 7 years ago from Rocky Mountains

Hi Island Voice, Thank You for sharing. I know fear but am grateful to say faith replaces fear. It takes practice. You gave awesome tips to avoid the fear. Fear is of the enemy. He comes to steal kill destroy. (False expectations appearing real) Christ is the ONLY word that is concrete, he will carry us. Today I know I have the SWORD 'in his name' the liar has to leave. Fear is real and can take your breath away or freeze you or make one get mad at the creator. That is what the enemy wants. I know this hub touched hurting hearts, Bless you for that. I stand on a scripture "no weapon formed against me shall prosper' is one of my favorite and it helps me to get back to why Jesus went to the cross. I am a new fan.

I so love Hawaii it is a 'paradise'I felt like I was in heaven when we were there. I hope to go back some day. Blessings Galore sister.

Read my butterfly transformation hub on change if you get a moment.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 7 years ago from Hawaii Author

Thanks skye2day! fear is not from God, for He has not given us timidity, but power, love and a sound mind. You are a blessing as well! God bless.


GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 7 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines

Great insight about changes, we need to change for our betterment that is the key to survive any elements positive or negative... Thanks for sharing...


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 7 years ago from Hawaii Author

Thanks General! I so agree with you. Thanks for the visit and kind comment.


BeiYin profile image

BeiYin 6 years ago from Ibiza Spain

I really like your writing style, it comes out of your life and makes it so vivid and enjoyable. It is an important subject to know more about the difficulties with changes. I have written a hub about it.

I want to read more of your hubs, but I have to leave now...

I will be a new follower of you, right now! Thanks!


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

I shall be reading your hubs and thanks for following!


htodd profile image

htodd 5 years ago from United States

Thanks IslandVoice ..Nice info


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 5 years ago from Hawaii Author

Thanks too htodd.

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