The Invisible People. A little understood phenomenon in our world today.

The Reminiscence

The invisible people muddle through their lives day to day without much ado and without much thought to what is actually missing in their existence.

The most pronounced evidence of this mundane existence is when we reach the end of each year in silent reminiscent reflection of the past year, as well as the promises that are made to be broken for the coming new year.

Feeling invisible and insignificant in a sea of frenzied human sharks pushing and shoving each other in every public establishment only adds to the fervor of the end days of every year of our lives.

It is filled with a last minute flurry of an expected fulfillment of an annual obligation characterized by that final self abasing gift shopping frenzy.

Coming from a childhood with a father, mother (or both), who were only "physically" present in the lives of their children, this time of the year is a painful reminder of what was, what could have been, what should have been, and what should be in the future.

So many parents of today either repeat the actions and attitudes of their own parents or go overboard to make sure they do not. To try to ensure that their children don't become damaged people as well, spoiling them to excess only creates another emotional and social problem for them instead; that of exaggerated self worth and an unrealistic expectancy from others.

The Invisibility Factor

Children who are 'ignored' and emotionally 'bruised', and/or 'abused', are usually scarred for life.

Trying to buy respect, acknowledgment, and atonement for another year lost to invisibility, by giving gifts that we can ill afford, is far from satisfying or redemptive.

The 'invisibility factor' breeds low self esteem and low self worth, and deeply instills a sense of never being good enough to merit acknowledgment by others.

When children are brought up in this environment they feel like they are invisible to others most of the time.

They tend to grow up and seek a career that constantly espouses them to the needy of the world which only adds to that invisibility, when that need is no longer present, and the needy exits from their life. Adding to that feeling of desertion and abandonment.

Givers and Takers

There are only 2 kinds of people in this world: the givers and the takers.

The takers take what they can, then discard the givers when there is nothing left to take.

The givers, give until there is nothing left to give, then they are discarded by the takers, as no longer useful.

Takers are loudly present in life. Givers are silently invisible.

The cycle is self perpetuating.

The 'invisible' people are subconsciously unwilling participants and are a mere continuation of the way they were treated as children, and can not be considered a causation unto themselves.

We are mostly what we are taught to be by our parents.

If children are pushed aside by their parents, they condition themselves to be pushed aside as adults, and so it becomes their reality.

If we lack the strength to overcome those shortcomings, we are destined to repeat them with our own children, fawn over them relentlessly and smother them, or worse; refuse to have children at all to be brought into a world they see as cold, callous, unforgiving, uncaring, and unaccepting.

The over achievers

The compensating over achievers who grab the brass ring and make themselves loudly 'visible' to the world often find themselves more 'invisible' than they ever thought they could be.

Wealth, fortune and fame, becomes more of an 'attraction' to the takers than the givers have ever experienced in their life times. And when this fact becomes painfully obvious, it only exacerbates the feelings of 'invisibility'.

The invisible people who ultimately find fortune and fame, often find themselves surrounded by those who enhance their feelings of loneliness, and feelings of being taken for granted, and being used and abused all over again.

When it is reinforced as adults, it makes the realities of their childhood even more unbearable and painful.

The inner pain is often heightened and intensified when the 'givers' realize they are more vulnerable, and more susceptible to the 'takers' after their success, than they were before attaining it.

We are mostly judged by what we 'visibly' give to others.

Those that 'take' have greater growing expectations of what they think they are worthy of, the next time they have expectations of receiving unearned, and undeserved, 'gifts' from the 'givers'

To worsen that expectancy, the 'takers' often have a subtle way of making the 'givers' actually feel guilty about not being 'generous enough'.

The 'givers' are the emotionally abused of the world with the unhealed inner bruises who think they do not deserve any thing more than to give, without questioning the motives of the takers, and without any expectations of ever receiving anything in return.

Enabling becomes the normal for 'givers' and they slip deeper into an abyss that is filled with a bottomless pit of despair.

In the end, the givers find themselves alone in the world when they are too old to be of worth to anyone, or to society.

A fitting end?

Where we will all end up one day
Where we will all end up one day | Source

In the end

Nursing homes are filled with those forgotten, insignificant, and invisible people; and ironically enough they are, in the end, NOT 'insignificant' at all.

They may be ignored and abused by their caretakers, but they are still giving of themselves by being devoid of independence and becoming totally dependent on others; which in turn, gives those others employment and their own purpose in life.

When the lifelong 'takers' become useless and can no longer care for themselves, then they too find themselves, being the unwitting 'givers of jobs' when they lose their independence, to the next generation of new 'takers' and 'users' of the world.

When the life long 'givers' depart the earth then they truly do become the 'invisible person' that they always felt themselves to be throughout their life times. No one remembers the "invisible" people thereby fulfilling their life long expectations.

Even in their departure they remain the 'invisible people' of the world.

The Cycle continues

Generational cycles
Generational cycles | Source
The forgotten and yet to be
The forgotten and yet to be

The continuing cycles

The next generation learns nothing from the last generation.

They do not see themselves as either 'givers' or 'takers', but they are products of a human society that uses everything up, then discards it when it is no longer valuable, or useful, to them.

That attitude applies to human beings as well. We are only friends with others as long as there is an ulterior purpose. With out that purpose the friendship is lost.

Children growing up learn quickly that no one befriends the 'invisible person' for fear they will be just as invisible and insignificant.

This destructive divisional cycle simply continues without notice, without interruption, and without any significance to others.

The 'givers' in life do not want to see themselves as the 'invisible', and the 'takers' will always deny they are the 'users and abusers' in a deliberate sense, thereby self negating their roles in the process of making and maintaining that population of "invisible people".

The 'invisible people' remain the 'ghosts of society', and as we know there are very few people that have the capacity to see a ghost, and if so, loathe to speak of it out loud and publicly.

So, the 'invisible people' become a subculture of just what they are: "invisible" to the rest of society.

by: d.william 01/02/2014

The invisibility factor

Have you, or someone you know, every felt like they were invisible to everyone else?

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We are all wondrous beauties of Nature, unique unto ourselves

© 2014 d.william

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8 comments

always exploring profile image

always exploring 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

The picture of the old people sitting in chairs in a nursing home is familiar to me. Like most nurses, i have worked in facilities like that. It is a sad fact. We could learn from other cultures that cherish and take care of their elders. I hope others come to read this and watch the video. I see the homeless and poor families who are invisible to the takers of this world. I shared this. It is an educational hub that will open eyes and hearts....


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 2 years ago from Wales

A great hub ;interesting and so useful!!

Eddy.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

Well my new friend, you have two pretty good people following you in the comment section. You can't be doing everything wrong. :)

First thing I noticed is that you are a good writer. Second thing that hit me is you write like I have on many of my hubs. This society is broken and needs fixing. I don't know why people don't "flock" to your hubs if in fact they don't. You write about the same problems that I have written about for two years and I have been warmly greeted with many comment. Sometimes there is no logical answer I'm afraid. Well done. Keep preaching the message. Awareness is the first step towards change and we need change.


d.william profile image

d.william 2 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

always exploring:

thanks for reading and your kind words. Those of us who have spent our careers caring for the sick, disabled, and otherwise needy people have a greater understanding of the process of old age.

We also seem to have a greater understanding of the plights of those who are discriminated against for any reason.

Our education system in this country is grossly lacking in teaching about all stages of life, and the evils of discrimination for any reason.


d.william profile image

d.william 2 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

Eiddwen:

thanks for reading and commenting. I spent most of my life working in the nursing field and even as a young person i had such love and compassion for those who were neglected and ignored.

I guess being one of those "invisible" people myself gave me more compassion than most.


d.william profile image

d.william 2 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

Billybuc:

thanks for stopping by and leaving such a positive comment.

The most controversial of my hubs have defined me more so than those of compassion, empathy, and the hope for social reform.

Especially since i place much blame on the ills of our global society on the religions that rule the planet for less than altruistic reasons.


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

The Invisible People. A Psychological Profile of the Year's end Review is informative and so true as you have mentioned about such facilities. It is sad to see how the older people are treated in this way.


d.william profile image

d.william 2 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

DDE:

Thanks for reading and leaving your comments. They are well appreciated. This is the way i feel every year around the holidays.

When i was working i always worked the holidays so married co-workers could have the days off with their families. I have no family in this area, and after i retired i find myself one of those 'invisible people'. Although i get several invitations to share holidays with friends, i usually decline as i feel like an intruder in a family where i am not a member.

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