The KEY Differences Between Mothers of Small Families And Mothers of Large Families
Mothers are Indeed DIFFERENT
All Mothers Definitely Are NOT ALIKE
There are no two mothers alike. There are different types of mothers as there are people. There are strict mothers while others are more lenient. There are nurturing, encouraging mothers and mothers who are discouraging, even soul destroying. There are hands on mothers and hands off mothers. There are mothers who are joyful and approachable while there are mothers who can be categorized as dour, glacial, and off-putting. Yes, mothers are different, even opposite in some cases.
Mothering style is influenced by many factors such as how she was mothered by her own mother. This takes into consideration of whether she was loved, respected, disrespected, unloved, and even neglected or abused. Educational level is an important component as to how she will mother her children. Mental health also determine the quality of mothering a child. A mentally healthy mother will provide a more healthier and conducive psychological environment regarding her children than a mother is who mentally ill or have other mental issues.
Socioeconomic levels strongly determine the type of the mother a woman will be. If a mother is socioeconomic poor, impoverished, and struggling, she will be preoccupied with daily, constant struggle which will have a negative impact upon her mothering style. She is not going to be a loving, nurturing, and involved mother because she has more pressing issues to worry about. Conversely, a socioeconomically affluent mother with every need and want fulfilled will be a more involved and loving mother because she does not have to worry about pressing socioeconomic issues.
One of the key issues as to mothering styles is family size. Family size influences the type and quality of mothering children will receive. It is a measurement as to how much quantitative and qualitative time a mother will spend with each child. It defines the capability and effectiveness of a mother's management and span of control levels as to her children. In essence, how efficiently she is able to parent her children by herself. It is an influential component as to what type of mother a woman will be, her basic psychological viewpoint and outlook, and her attitude towards her children.
Impact of Family Size Upon Mothering
Family Size As It IMPACTS Mothering
Family size impacts on mothering in more ways than one. It does in more likelihood determines the type of mother a woman will and will not be. It furthermore provides either a good or poor quality of mothering. It determines what type and level of qualitative life that children in the respective family the mother will provide. It can determine what type of opportunities the mother will provide for her children. It can even be simple as to whether the mother will provide individualized care, time, and attention to their children or only give them the most perfunctory, cursory attention, if that.
Family size in general is a strong determinant as to the type of overall mothering children will receive. It has an impact whether positive or negative upon the mother's stress endurance and levels. It is reflective in the mother's attitude towards her children. It dictates if she is a passionate and totally engaged mother or a merely perfunctory mothers who just go through the motions and functions of being a mother. It ascertains as to whether she enjoys being with her children or if she see them as merely tolerable obligations at best and noisome burdens at worst. It shows whether she is proactive or passive regarding life options or life choices.
The SMALL & LARGE of Mothering......
Family Size: The SMALL and LARGE of Mothering
Family size naturally determines the quality of parenting. Small families of 1-2 children per family tend to receive superior quality mothering. Mothers of small families have more time to spend per child. They do not have to stretch themselves to the limit in order to meet the needs of their children. They are also available and accessible to their children whenever the latter need them. They also seem to enjoy their children more because they put much forethought as to how their children will financially, emotionally, and psychologically impact them and their particular families.
On the contrary, large families of 6 and more children per family tend to receive inferior quality of mothering. Mothers of large families have less time to spend per child. They oftentimes have to stretch themselves inordinately in order to meet the needs of their children. They are oftentimes available and inaccessible when their children do need them. They are stressed by their children as there is a large number of children to be raised. They put very little or no planning as to how their children will impact them and their families financially, emotionally, and even psychologically.
There is indeed a marked difference of parental styles and perspectives between mothers of small and mothers of large families. Each party have varying approaches and outlooks as far as mothering goes. How mothers of small and large families interact with their children are different, if not diametrically opposite based upon their familial beliefs, psychology, and values. There are keys which distinguish mothers of small families from mothers of large families in terms of mothering. It is quite obvious that mothers of small and mothers of large families are not the same in parenting styles. They are not even similar in parenting outlook.
Mindful & Responsible Mothering
Mothers of Small Families are Conscious, Responsible, and Mindful
Mothers of small families make rational, intelligent, and mature decisions as regarding having children. They really that the decision they make will have either a positive or negative impact upon themselves, spouses, and children. They want to ascertain that the decision to have children will only positively, not negatively impact the lives of their families. They have the cognizance to realize that children do change the existing family dynamic. They consider their financial, emotional, and psychological preparedness before deciding to have children.
They realize that having children is a very serious business. They staunchly believe in and practice family planning. They know that family planning is imperative to a happy, smoothly functioning, and stress free family. They contend that smart and educated mothers have the amount of children that they can provide for and take care of beyond just merely the rudiments. They know that it is quite foolhardy, if not irresponsible to have more children than they can adequate provide for and take care of.
Irresponsible & Thoughtless Mothering
Mothers of Large Families are Instinctual, Irresponsible, and Thoughtless
Mothers of large families have children instinctively. They put little or no forethought in having children. Some even view having children continuously as their unmitigated right, even privilege. They really believe that whatever children they have, things will work their way out in one way or another. They oftentimes make irrational, even illogical decisions as far as having children go. They are of the belief that they are going to have as many children as they want, regardless of the consequences to themselves, spouses, and their children. They want what they want even to the point of unreasonableness, being unconcerned as to how additional children will seriously impact upon their already existing family structure.
They do not believe in any time of family planning. They find it quite puzzling that other mothers would use family planning to limit the number of children they have. They maintain that children are preordained, even predestined. They even attest that there is no such thing as having too many children. After all, they strongly opine that children are gifts and the more, the better. They maintain that when more children come, others in the family will simply have to make sacrifices. It does not matter to them if the family has to struggle much more now because of the fact that they refuse to use precautions in order not to overburden their families by having children that they cannot possibly and reasonably provide for nor take care of.
Warm, Involved Mothering
Mothers of Small Families are Warmer, Engaged, and Involved Parents
Mothers of small families are very involved with their children. They believe in giving their children individualized time, attention, and care. In small families, mothers have more time to spend with each child. Because there are less children per household, mothers do not have to stretch themselves thin emotionally, mentally, and psychologically to meet each child's needs. They also maintain the importance of individualized attention in their children's emotional, mental, intellectual, and psychological development. They also realize that giving their individualized attention makes their children feel very important and worthwhile as human beings.
Mothers of small families are able to devote much needed care and time to their children. As there are less children per family, she does not have to limit the time spent with each child. They are also more accessible to their children. They can meet with their children at anytime without much fanfare on both their parts. Because they can meet with their children any time, there is a warmer, closer parent-child relationship. Mothers in small families know the importance of the parent-child relationship. They view such relationships as a very important and integral part of a child's development. They believe that such relationships are important because parents are the first people children encounter and interact with in addition to be the groundwork for other relationships.
Distant, Uninvolved, & Even Indifferent Mothering
Mothers of Large Families are Distant, Little Involved, and Indifferent Parents
Mothers of large families are less involved parents. They are also less interactive with their children. There are more children for them to give their time, attention, and care to. They are oftentimes stretched very thin emotionally, mentally, and psychologically trying to meet each of their children's needs. Such a parental feat is impossible or near it. It is common that in the typical large family, mothers cannot give individualized attention to each child in the family. The children who are deemed to be self-sufficient and can take care of themselves are cast aside, even neglected in favor of those children who are deemed more needy and deserving of motherly attention.
Mothers of large families can only give their children cursory, if not perfunctory attention as there are a large number of children who need her time, care, and attention They give enough time, attention, and care in order for their children to simply exist and/or survive. There are mothers in large families who are so daunted or overwhelmed at the prospect of mothering their children that they abdicate their parenting duties altogether, having their children assume full parenting duties to themselves and/or each other. Laissez faire, uninvolved, and even neglectful mothering are quite de rigueur in large families. Because of mothers of large families are less involved and interactive with their children, such children turn to each other to get the attention and care that they do not receive from their mothers. Many children in large families have very little or no relationship with their mothers. One can describe such parent-child relationships as poor. Children in large families do not recall their parent-child relationships as they can easily recall their sibling relationships.
Seeing & Valuing Individuality
Mothers of Small Families See and Value Their Children as Individuals
Mothers of small families value their children as individuals. They teach their children to express and revel in their individuality. They believe that individuality is an important part of being a full functioning human being. They contend that individuality is an important part of being a family and that a family consists of individuals who should be free to express varying beliefs, opinions, and outlooks. They refuse to view families as one whole monolithic conglomerate where their children must subvert, even deny their individuality into the whole.
Mothers of small families teach their children to express their needs and ask for what they want. They teach their children to respect and have a high regard for themselves. They maintain that it is imperative that mentally healthy and fully functioning people have a high sense of self and self-regard. They see nothing wrong in their children spending time away from the family and having private, me time. They feel that such is healthy and teaches their children independence, creativity, and resourcefulness. They maintain that children should have ample time to explore their individuality and to have alone time to access who they are and develop into the people they want to be.
Devaluing, Even Decrying Individuality in Favor of Utter Conformity
Mothers of Large Families Stress Subversion of Individuality in Favor of Conformity
Mothers of large families believe that the family is more important than the individual. To them, children asserting their individuality is a sign of selfishness or worse. They maintain that the purpose of children in the family is to subvert themselves and conform to the family construct. They see the family as not composed of individuals but a functioning conglomerate where the individual is submerged into the whole. The concept of a person's individuality and uniqueness is an anathema in large families. Children are taught the value of conformity and that the individual is not important at all.
Mothers of large families feel that the family as a whole is the most important thing in children's lives. They teach their children that their only purpose is never themselves but the overall good of the whole family. They go as far to tell their children that their individual personalities and uniqueness means nothing and they only exist as parts of the family. They view the concept of privacy and alone time to be totally preposterous. In their minds, why would children want to be alone when they have family. In their purview, children who want private and alone time are odd or worse. They contend that children really do not need privacy or alone time at all and that such concepts are totally outlandish, even a waste of time.
There are marked differences between mothers of small families and mothers of large families. They have diverse, even opposing mindsets and perspectives in terms of their attitude towards children. They have diametric values regarding the place of children in their particular families. They even vary in their child rearing philosophies.
© 2015 Grace Marguerite Williams
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