The Largest Penis In The World

I can't just put my finger on it, but Dr. Evil's rocket ship reminds of something. . .
I can't just put my finger on it, but Dr. Evil's rocket ship reminds of something. . .

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” Robin Williams

There's this urban legend that says there's a man with a penis so big that he faints whenever he gets an erection. The rest of his body, according to the urban legend, suddenly experiences a shortage of blood. This is probably a tall tale and I'm sure the guys at Myth Busters would want to bust this myth.

Anyway, men are almost always interested how they compare with others when it comes to “giftedness”. Others will say “it's not how big it is but how you use it” but deep inside, they know that size matters.  

“For patients with psychological concern about the size of the penis - particularly if it is normal size - there is little point in offering them surgery because it makes no difference.” Dr. Nim Christopher, The Perfect Penis

Now I won't be delving into Freudian psychology. I mean if you really want to know who owns the largest penis in the world, I won't keep you waiting. Ready?

And the biggest penis in the world belongs to . . .

I've always suspected that Donald Duck was well-hung. How else can he get such a voice?
I've always suspected that Donald Duck was well-hung. How else can he get such a voice?

. . . the blue whale. According to Wikipedia, the penis of a blue whale measures 2.4 meters (8 feet). Now that might seem really big but remember that the blue is the biggest freakin' animal on earth, (maybe in the universe, who knows). A whale could grow up to 30.5 meters (100 ft). If we talk about proportion, the giant whale will be put to shame by the lowly duck.  

The Argentine Blue-bill Duck has a record penis length of 42.5 cm (17 inches). His is bigger than yours dude. And his body is only 20 cm (8 inches, the size you wish yours is).

I know you're probably thinking that I cheated. I bet you thought I was talking about human penises. Well, I won't disappoint you.

In 2006, Channel 4 in UK finally put an end to the relentless mystery when they aired the documentary titled, guess what, “The World's Biggest Penis”. Jonah Cardeli Falcon from New York owns the biggest penis in the world. It measures 9.5 inches (24.13 cm) flaccid and 13.5 inches (34.29 cm) erect.

Don't worry, the average human penis is only 6 inches (15 cm) in length. Yours probably isn't as teeny weeny as you thought, dude.

And if makes you feel better, Jonah IS NOT always getting laid. In fact he is having a hard time getting laid. He's bisexual, lives with his mom and hadn't had a girlfriend in 12 years.  

Honestly, does size matter?

See results without voting

It's not just about size . . .

Basing on the comments in this hub and the response in the survey above, I can safely say that size does matter. However, how you use your tool is also important.

Penis Size According To Wikipedia

While results vary across studies, the consensus is that the average erect human penis is approximately 12.9–15 cm (5.1–5.9 in) in length with a 95% confidence interval of (10.7 cm, 19.1cm) or (4.23 in, 7.53 in). The typical girth or circumference is approximately 12.3 cm (4.84 in) when fully erect. The average penis size is slightly larger than the median size (i.e. most penises are below average in size).

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Comments 56 comments

Kudlit profile image

Kudlit 7 years ago from Laguna Author

We at Kudlit Publishing want to know your opinion. Does size matter? Explain.

Biggy  7 years ago

#670375 +(11643)- [X]

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z<JonTG> wait, shit

Got that one from, really amusing.

Kudlit profile image

Kudlit 7 years ago from Laguna Author

I had to look at my keyboard to "get it". Hahaha.

Kudlit profile image

Kudlit 7 years ago from Laguna Author

Check this one out:

<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis. <Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough. :(

tendaic profile image

tendaic 7 years ago from Alice

this is one hell of an interesting article. follow it up on this link

Kudlit profile image

Kudlit 7 years ago from Laguna Author

Thanks for the link.

cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Cape Town

mmmmmmm do you think that Seaworld guy got excited touching that....that.....that thing?

Kudlit profile image

Kudlit 7 years ago from Laguna Author

Ah Cindyvine, always the curious one. :)

So tell me, does size matter?

cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Cape Town


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

I'm sorry to barge in.  When I saw the title I assumed you had written about me.

Kudlit profile image

Kudlit 7 years ago from Laguna Author

Hahaha. You wish.

fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina

it's amazing what you learn on Hub Pages


Kudlit profile image

Kudlit 7 years ago from Laguna Author

Yeah right.

raiderfan profile image

raiderfan 7 years ago from Arizona

its the motion in the ocean dude.

KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 7 years ago from Central Texas

My question is.....why IS the man in the pic holding the whale penis? Nevermind who was exciting who.....WHY???

Size does NOT's all about skills, baby.

Kudlit profile image

Kudlit 7 years ago from Laguna Author

The guy in the picture is giving a whole new meaning to the term "penis envy".

Laughing Mom profile image

Laughing Mom 7 years ago

I want to DVR that episode of Myth Busters.

lesterd2009 profile image

lesterd2009 7 years ago from Beaches Of Florida

Haha it was fun to read but I always thought that a horse had the bigest penis in the world, i guess the blue whale is bigger lol

Brad 7 years ago

The largest I've ever seen in person was over 14" long erect. Three guys were on it at the same time and room for another.

Kudlit profile image

Kudlit 7 years ago from Laguna Author

I don't want to know what you're doing looking at a 14" penis IN PERSON Brad. =)

BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 7 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

Oh size does matter and then how you use it - they are both important. Not one without the other. We women don't feel we should have to pick one without the other. But we don't want horse size freaks either.

And yes, we women do talk about these things and even laugh a lot. So don't think you can show up with a tater tot and say 'oh yeah, laugh all you want, I know how to use this baby!' - we won't care.

This was fun to read - I love a fun hub! Thanks a lot!

B.Z. Alixandre profile image

B.Z. Alixandre 7 years ago from Boise, ID

For me, size definitely matters, but bigger isn't necessarily better. Too big is not at all fun, and if you've got a ferarri in your trousers, you should definitely be licensed for it. I'd much rather have a smaller guy with skill than a larger guy without. Infact I'd rather have a smaller guy with no skill than a larger guy with no skill, that can be down right dangerous! And I second BK, women definitely talk about it, and share personal details.

kendo 7 years ago

mine is large and long and i know that i use it very well cos those that have a feel of it says that they have always love it and my methold too.

larry 7 years ago

poor penis, it 13 inc J will need a special lady with him, so ,what size of lady he is looking for, 2tons size .hah

butomicur 7 years ago


SoftCornHippo profile image

SoftCornHippo 7 years ago

its not what ya got - its what ya do with it!

Pegual 7 years ago

Hey guy. Don't forgoten refer that Donald Duck is a Latin Lover, is from Córdoba, Argentina (Sensu Nature and Science.Jornals.

baker101 7 years ago

its not the size its how u use it

december 6 years ago

im just laughing cauz this one funny hell of a pennis

romyo 6 years ago

well guys it is all about how to use it not how to measure it

Penile Exercises 6 years ago

I just threw up! That first picture is disgusting.

jake 6 years ago

to me i think having a big penis is very good,because all woman are not equal,some like big once,some don't,but mine is 8.2 inches for real,

Paul 6 years ago

9.7 inches erect here, I have never been with a woman that has been able to accept my penis fully, it is at times frustrating as ouch seems to be a word i have heard often when i forget what i am doing but generally have a great time and the women do too as long as i stay focussed,

Jaiyeola shogo babalola 6 years ago

Haa!haa!!haa!!!its very funny,how many women will ever says size doesn't my G.friend it very much matter with action and skillz.

gurgi 6 years ago

i farted

KAIKAI KORKMA 6 years ago


jay 6 years ago

mine is too big don't know what to do with it as i have to order special boxers to keep it in there otherways it flies out,,,,,,, mine is average size girls love it as i know how to use my tool.........

anna 6 years ago

@jay ~ yeah mayb i'll gi urs a try somday......... lol

James 5 years ago

You gotta love how just about every guy on here has to announce how large his penis is hahahahaha! Classic. Here's a rule guys...if you really do have it, you don't have to brag about it...that usually means you don't got it.

Sup 5 years ago

I'm crazy 4 penises

Gay 5 years ago

Omg get a life all you saying that really

Ethan 5 years ago

i prefer to let girls see it in person and not brag about like ur tryin to hook up on the internet get a life

RobertM 5 years ago

i like this article, it's both, educative and funny :)

yomama 5 years ago

that is groos

JustWondering 5 years ago

That's an orca whale in the picture, not a blue.

Mr Penis 5 years ago

i had a whale of a time reading this

antivirus, utorrent

xmobile profile image

xmobile 5 years ago from Hubpages, GoogleNet

One comedian said that guys with smaller stuff have more sex in their lifetime (they've got something to prove). He said if you did not believe him, take a look at the two world largest population.

a passer by 5 years ago

HIPPO HOLES require HIPPO POLES....SO yes size does indeed matter to loose women.

13 yr old 5 years ago

Im 13 and mine is a lil over 7

bart 4 years ago

Everyone knows that women use the 'size' thing to slam men.Its become the ace card to slander a guy.If they feel the least bit slighted they play the d--k card as some kind of sick powerplay.Shameful and they wonder why a lot of dudes these days can't stand dealing with their hypocritical,doubleminded,reverse sexist a-sholery.

dr know 4 years ago

@bart women know that the size issue can be a trigger for a lot of guys (even if they don't have a problem in that area) so they exploit it and they know it provides them with a great amount of what id call get back/smear capital.So..your exactly correct.

fu 4 years ago

why does size matter to you guys im a girl so i know what we whant.

Almorr 4 years ago

I remember when I was 14 this boy, also 14 kept bragging on that he had the biggest penis and boasted to me that I bet yours is not as big as mine.

Well knowing that he had been told that I do have quite a large one he wanted to prove that he was bigger. So we got together in a private place to compare our dicks. He took out his first, my I thought that is big, he might just be bigger than mine, it did look large. Well he then said to me 'I bet you can't beat that, get yours out' So I managed to get an erection and take my penis out of my trousers, my God he gasped, yours is even bigger that mine, he admitted that my penis was longer and a bit thicker than his. I admit both of us had above average penises, his was I would say about half an inch shorter than mine and just a little thinner in circumference. That kept him quite as he admitted he had not seen a penis as big as mine, I have never boasted to anyone about the size of my penis, but he had up to that point, from then on he kept quite.

John 3 years ago

In reply to FU, it does matter to a guy on how big his penis is, much more than to women regarding their breast size, personally I am quite satisfied with the size of my penis, however, not all guys are, there was a survey regarding penis size among us men, only men with above average penis size were satisfied, mine is a little above the average, if I was average or below, like most men I probably would have wanted mine to have been a bit bigger.

haider 3 years ago


wall of china

Jack 2 years ago

So ME up

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