The Mind Lives On

Source: flickr.com
Source: flickr.com

The Mind Lives On

By Tony DeLorger © 2011


The pain of my life’s course has been no more than the joys, and I have always taken responsibility for my decisions and my path. As age surely swallows me and my limbs, no longer agile, begin to fold up and ache, I realise how fleeting is this journey. My mind as curious and vital as it has ever been, finds inequity in my physical failings. Having just begun to understand the mysteries I have for so long studied, it seems inappropriate that my physical body fail me approaching what I consider to be my peak in life.

It is an irony I have mused and made light of; being a head on a pillow, the rest of me fallen by the way. I claimed in my jest, as long as I have one finger left to type away my thoughts, I would be content. But know that this inevitability is imminent; I have deep regret in thinking it. As they say, be careful what you wish for. Perhaps not a wish, but a thought proving to be a reality in consequence, now depicts a broken man.

My mind is so filled with understanding I cannot possibly have time enough to impart it. My writing is a vain attempt and the volume of it an example of what I’m talking about. I am an existentialist and that philosophy has taken much of my time in exploration and discipline. Understanding the self is a long and arduous path that demands much strength and tenacity. My conclusions, which I might add are in a constant state of flux, have transformed my life, in understanding what I need rather than what I desire. I am slowly and surely making peace with me and the strength of it a motivation to further work in the area of thought.

Perhaps my body falls to pieces as an indication of my lesser need for earthly life. I of course don’t wish it, but would not be surprised if my journey ended sooner than later. My only regret in this would be missing those I love and not being able to continue writing my thoughts. It sustains me so and without it I cannot see a life. This of course could change as does many of our plans and circumstances. The strange thing is I am completely at peace with whatever happens, good or bad (not my view). In a way I’ve become a fatalist, accepting that we are pawns, but to our own decisions and thinking.

The physical journey can be difficult and often the difficulty is a reflection of the opportunity for understanding and internal peace. At least that is how I have found it. The deepest most traumatic emotional experiences have transformed my perspective and therefore my life in positive ways. I give thanks for this pain that gives me life unencumbered by my understanding. Justice, balance, blame and retribution are ideas misconceived on the whole and the sooner we lay these to rest the better.

I have been blessed with an inquiring mind, some intellect and a heart open enough to learn. Whether my body fails me or not, who I am is neither incumbent of body or mind but soul, my essence the core of my existence. This I believe is not bound by the life we know and therefore the rest is of little consequence apart for expression.

What I will miss also is that expression, the flow of creativity my vital connection to physical life. For now I’ll wait and use my time wisely; for time is limited in this our gnarled shell in life, and we should take advantage.


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Comments 8 comments

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Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Glad you do pedrn44. Take care.


pedrn44 profile image

pedrn44 5 years ago from New Berlin Wisconsin

I now have more understanding of what you are saying. Life certainly does change as one ages and draws closer to departure. The mind is an amazing thing and the search for truth and answers is never ending. Thank you for sharing:)


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Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Glad you enjoyed it nicred, thanks for reading and commenting


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nicred 5 years ago from Cape Town South Africa

Wow this was a great read - you have inspired me to never forget that age is but a number, whilst the body fades the mind still plays :)


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Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

Thanks pedrn44. It may seem ambiguous to you but my acceptance of change is not a letting go of life, it is acknowledging our finite earthly life with understanding. My viewpoint sounds a little ambivalent because I have not clung to anything out of fear. Life is a mysterious, wonderful thing that I fully appreciate, but there is far more than that. All I have ever sought is to understand the big picture and not be caught up in the mundane. Hope that gives you a better picture. Appreciate your comment and for reading my work. Reading more of it would give you a better

perspective about me and my thoughts.

Thanks for your comment.


pedrn44 profile image

pedrn44 5 years ago from New Berlin Wisconsin

I read your profile in hopes of it helping me understand where you are coming from in this writing. In this writing you seem so haunted and helpless to me, so ready to face death or something equally final. Yet you seem so vital, such a talented writer who has influenced people with your books and classes.I found this very interesting and well written but as an aging person..appreciating where I have been and looking forward to where I am going and what I will find along the way...I wonder if you are feeling desolate or if it is your style of writing. The way you draw people in. Can you explain?


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Tony DeLorger 5 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia Author

I do appreciate your support Jami, and I'm glad you connect to my words. It's everything to a writer, that connection. Thanks for you comment. Take care.


jami l. pereira 5 years ago

Voted up ,awesome and beautiful as always ... Funny thing you should write on this subject , for the last several days i had been thinking back as a child , and everytime i saw an older person i thought to myself "i wonder if he/she feels as old as he/she looks? and ..NOW that i am at the age of the said person , perhaps , i can honestly say "no" I dont feel any older than a child or teenager if you will , at times but my body aches and im slower and my function ,is lacking far more than when i was say , twenty . amazing how we feel the same in mind and spirit as our bodies age and wear down , thus this gnarled shell ...on borrowed time . I really enjoyed this , great Hub once again my friend! :)

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