Wearing a Hijab at School

My Story

Why did I start wearing it?

It was completely by my own choice. My parents never pushed me to; no one did, in fact. Two people I'm related to and close to wear hijab, and they were my motivation. Along with a friend from another state. Before, I had told myself I'd start wearing it when I was in 11th grade. Which extended to when I start college. Which extended to when I got married...Surprisingly, I started before all of those.

The exact moment that I had chosen to wear it was when my relatives, including a cousin I'm very, very close to (who was visiting from Pakistan) were going to the Mosque for Friday prayer. And, of course, you have to wear hijab at a Mosque. So as I was putting my hijab on, differently this time (I put it on the way my cousin did, which isn't the same as how I wore it), my khala (aunt) came into my room to borrow a hairbrush. She commented, "Oh, Farah, hjiab suits you so well!" and then left. All of a sudden I just accepted it. I stared at myself in my vanity mirror and slowly said, "I'm going to start wearing hijab now." My cousin, incredibly shocked, squealed "What?! Farah are you serious?" I considered it for a few seconds, then with more confidence replied, "Yeah. I will. After all, there are people at my school who wear it...I mean it can't be too bad. And I like it." Then for some reason we both got teary-eyed and hugged each other.

This story is funny to me because a few weeks prior to it happening, I had a dream that me and that same khala were going hijab shopping. I chose a pink hijab and then woke up. So when I told her about this dream, she custom-made me a pink hijab from Pakistan. And that was the hijab I chose to wear the very next day.


Reactions at School

If you start before entering high school...

Chances are you won't be as nervous and you'll have a base. You'll still have friends who have known you with your hijab, and then you'll make more friends. Of course it will get repetitive answering the same questions again with your new friends, but we'll discuss that later.

Starting during high school (like me)...

People will tend to ask you lots of questions, and friends (who you haven't already given a heads-up to) will be surprised. Some people will take a few seconds to realize who you are, and others won't even notice it and treat you the exact same! You might even get a few congrats, and if you're lucky, people will tell you they respect/admire you, which is very humbling!

Many people were confused as to why I had started this year, and others missed my hair, haha. On to the questions I, along with other hijabis, received!

Questions you Will get Asked!

These are all the wonderful questions I've been asked, haha.

  • "How do you put that on?"
  • "Don't you get hot?" (during the summer/warm weather, expect this a lot!)
  • "Where do you buy those?" (I personally wear neck scarves, not the one-piece hijab)
  • "Why do you wear it?"
  • "Do you have to wear it at home?"
  • "Do you have to wear that?"
  • "Can I see your hair?!"
  • "How many do you have?"
  • "What happens if you don't wear it?"
  • "Do you shower with it?" (this question needs to stop being asked pls)
  • "Can you go to the pool?"
  • "How long does it take to put on?"
  • "When did you start wearing it?"
  • "Do you have to wear it with your husband, too?"
  • "Who can see your hair?"

All I can think of right now! If you've got more, comment! :)


Help, I'm Scared?!

DON'T BE.

I can't exactly speak for everyone, but pretty much all schools and students accept it! There's only 5 other hijabis at my school out of 2,000+ students, and no one says anything bad! Honestly, don't worry about it. If it's something you want to do, when you start, have faith in Allah. He will give you courage and if you don't care so much as what people think versus what He thinks, then He will have others not notice it as much or give you looks. He will give you strength. Trust me! No...trust in Allah. :D

I was very, very nervous when I first started. I barely knew how to put it on, since I didn't have much practice. Finding matching hijabs for outfits became a chore at times, and sometimes I even began contemplating about how my life would be without hijab. I truly think I have gained morally and spiritually since wearing hijab. I'm not sure if others also feel this way, but I feel closer to God ever since I've started hijab.

Trust me, there's nothing to it. The first day might be stressful, but it gets better. If you choose to wear hijab, congratulations!! I'm so very proud of you.


Questions & Concerns

I'm here to talk to you! If you ever need to console with anyone, whoever you are, wherever you are, I will always be here as your hand to hold through your wonderful decision of wearing hijab.

Just feel free to comment, and I'll reply back. I read every comment so if you have any questions, please ask below. :)

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Comments 79 comments

Aysha 3 years ago

Awesome advice :)

I already wear a scarf but since high school here (age 11-16) I've been going to a muslim school so it's been alright... now that I'm leaving and might be going to a college where there aren't many Muslims I'm kinda worried since I've been used to being around only muslims since I was 11! :/


ahamed rushan 3 years ago

:D good advice ...

can i share this page from Facebook ?


Nour Shaban 2 years ago

I really want to wear the hijab but the problem is is that I'm really tall and I'm worried that I won't find shirts long enough. Also I went to school since kindergarten with most of the kids in my high school. I'm in 11th grade and I'm thinking of wearing it in the summer. I'm not worried about losing my friends since they support me 100% but I want to be sure before I regret it.. Can u give me advice that help in deciding if I should wear it? Thank u!!


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Hello Nour,

Oh I was worried about clothing, too! But over the years, my whole wardrobe has changed, and it happened very gradually so it wasn't a problem at all. You'd be surprised how hijabi-friendly some stores can be, like H&M, Charlotte Russe, or Forever 21. I typically wear a lot of dresses as shirts and it works! You could try that, too. But I think you should definitely wear it as you have nothing to lose! Go for it, it's for the best. :) Good luck!


MK 2 years ago

Hey Farah I already wear hijab but any ideas on what I could wear for volleyball? Obviously spandex shorts are not an option!


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Hello MK,

I think wearing athletic pants like these: http://www.sportsauthority.com/product/index.jsp?p... are fine! Or these: http://www.sportsauthority.com/PUMA-Womens-Poly-Tr... If those kinds of pants would hinder your performance then you could maybe try wearing baggy shorts that would stop around your knees and then have leggings underneath. Hope that helps!


Ayesha 2 years ago

I really want to wear hijab and I'm going into high school next year. The thing is, is that I am the only Muslim hijabi girl going into that high school. My high school is also the very racist type...I'm really really scared please help me!


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Hey Ayesha,

I think you should follow your heart and wear it. I moved to a small town during my last year of high school (that I just finished) and I was also the only Muslim and the only hijabi. The thing is, once you start wearing it, Allah truly gives you strength and confidence to continue. I think you will be fine, inshaAllah. If anything, your peers might even respect you, deep down, because you bravely chose to wore it despite the racist setting of your school. That's very admirable. Go for it. :)


Ayesha 2 years ago

Ok JazakAllah Khair Farah, that really meant a lot to me! Just please keep me in your prayers I'm going through a lot right now...thanks for everything :)


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

No problem :) And of course, please keep me in your prayers as well. Hope you have a blessed Ramadan!


Nour 2 years ago

I wnt to wear the hijab bt i recently moved to the uk n im afraid that the school wont accept me cz of the hijab what do you think? Please help me


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Nour,

The same advice I gave to Ayesha I'll give to you: I think you should follow your heart and wear it. Also, if people are able to wear it in America, then I think you should be fine in the UK. From what I know, they're more accepting of it and the hijabi culture is more prominent. I encourage you to wear it, and ignore what others think, because you want to wear it and there must be a reason Allah put that want in your heart. :) Go for it, iA you'll be alright!!


Nour 2 years ago

Tnx a lot farah for ur advise nschalah im gwin to wear it n i wish u ramadan kareem


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

So glad to hear that, MashaAllah! Ramadan Kareem to you too :)


aashi 2 years ago

hey i want to start wearing hijaab but i have recently shifted to india for studies and the school i study in doesn't hve any muslim students....pple hve all ready seen me without hijaab but now after reading the punishments of nt wearing it ...i m really scared ...so wat should i do .?? i should i face all of them ??? But really i want to wear hijaab and plus it's a co..ed school !! plz help me ?


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Hi Aashi,

If you want to wear it, then you definitely should. It might be hard at first but I promise it'll get better. You'll be fine iA, and I commend you for being brave. Good luck with your studies, and new hijab!


Maryam 2 years ago

Hey Farah!

I'm going to highschool this Fall and I'm going to start wearing hijab. I'm not worried about what people will think or whatever. My main concern is finding hijab-friendly clothes on a budget. Like what are clothing items I definitely need? This sounds kind of stupid, but I still want to be, well, fashionable.

And also, do teachers and students treat you differently when you wear hijab?


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Maryam!

Congratulations on your decision! :) That also doesn't sound stupid at all. A lot of hijabis wonder that. Clothing items that are staples in my closet are cardigans and long dresses (like these: forever21.com/Product/Category.aspx?br=f21&category=dress) and then I'll wear the dresses with slightly skinny jeans or thick leggings, depending on the length of the dress. A lot of the times, these dresses are sleeveless so I'll put a matching cardigan on top and it looks great. There are some really cute cardigans with lace backs or a lace portion on the back that bring an extra "something" to the outfit. I don't know where you live, but where I do, we have places like TJ Maxx and Marshalls where you can get designer or higher brand clothes for around $15, but they're all good quality. I also always match my hijabs with my outfits, which helps to make everything look more put-together, and then people notice that and compliment me on it. Stores like H&M and Charlotte Russe are also hijabi-friendly most of the time. Maxi dresses and skirts are a hijabi's best friend!

As for being treated differently, it depends on the diversity of your school. Of course you might get more looks and stares and even reserved behavior from people if you attend a school that's 95% Christian and Caucasian. But, thankfully, I began wearing hijab at a diverse school where there were several other hijabis, so it wasn't bad at all. I was treated the same, pretty much. I did notice, though, that boys didn't talk to me as much, but that's to be expected with the "veil". And that's a good thing, anyhow. But it wasn't a huge difference, and iA it won't be for you either :)


Sara Ahmed 2 years ago

Salamu Alaykum, Farah! Thanks for the really motivating post! I am starting 8th Grade and I plan to wear a hijab. People already know I'm a Mualimah, but will ask me A lot of questions, I'm kinda nervous and don't know how to respond to them. Please help! Thanks!♡♥


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Wa‘alaykum salam! What kind of questions are they? The answers are usually straightforward, like to "Why do you wear hijab?" You can answer "because it's a part of committing to my religion and showing my devotion to God. I also wear it to preserve my modesty so I don't have guys looking at me inappropriately and they can instead respect me for my mind rather than my body."


Sara Ahmed 2 years ago

Thank you so much! Jazakum- Allah Khair! I think my confidence is restored. I'll tell them about preserving my dignity and enhancing piousity. Thank you, you've been a big help.♡♥


Sorry but rather be annonymus 2 years ago

AA, I'm a 7th grader living in US and my mom, sister ,my bestfriend and her elder sister, and basically all family friends do wear hijab. My sister started wearing hijab in 9th grade.I grew up with an american culture plus saudi culture and indian culture so i know i have to wear scarf.My Parents aren't pushing me to do it but I think I wanna start soon. I really wanna follow my sisters footsteps(she wore a scarf around her neck in 7th grade and in 8th she started to wear it full). I'm a I guess a person who loves makeup and dressing up. :-P So my wardrobe is just t-shirts with pants cuz like that is how i dressed in Elementary school now that I want to wear scarf what do i do with all those t-shirts? I don't want to throw them out cuz i just love them!!! And do u have any cute ways to wear hijabs? Also one thing else, when do u think I should start wearing scarf 8th or 9th. I am also a little afraid of what my friends will say cuz my bestfriend who wears scarf goes to a different school. And my sister won't be with me at all, so i'm just afraid all in all. So far I'm right now homeschooled since we are overseas And i just wear abaya. Sorry for such a loooonnngggg post! Thank You and Ramadan Kareem!


Alia 2 years ago

Hi,

I'm from Iran. I wore hijab when I was in iran but you know how iranies are they show most of their hair when they wear hijab. My biggest concern is that i am a swimmer if i start wearing hijab i would have to quit the swim team. That was the only way I exercised . I feel that things could be different if i start wearing it. Most Iranians don't wear hijab in here. I feel like I'll be left out of all the Irani events if I wear hijab. I wouldn't be able to wear short dresses and I would have to get rid of all my short sleeve shirts. I'm so confused about what i should do! By the way, I'm going into the 10 th grade.


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Anon,

If you want to wear it, then go ahead and please do, but don't wear it simply because you want to be like your sister. It should all come from you, and you are your own person. You don't have to copy someone else. :) Anyway, don't worry about what your friends will say because if they're your true friends then they will accept you no matter what's on your head. As for your t-shirts, I don't think you have to get rid of them because you wear an abaya, and an abaya covers your whole body. So you can wear your t-shirts underneath, assuming that your abaya will cover your figure. In that case, you can start hijab as soon as you'd like, which would be 8th grade inshaAllah. :)


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Alia,

I think you should gradually ease into wearing a hijab so as not to overwhelm yourself with all the changes. Start by replacing your short-sleeve shirts and and short dresses with long-sleeve shirts and dresses. If you need help on where to buy some hijab-friendly clothing, read my previous comments. Then once you have the appropriate clothing, you can go ahead and wear hijab. Also, how would you be left out of events? Wearing a hijab doesn't mean you can't go to places. If it's an event whereas a hijabi, you would feel uncomfortable, then it's probably best to not go. And that's okay. Go to your local masjid and ask if they have clubs or activities for teens, because you can always attend those. Some things will change in your transition to wearing a hijab, but inshaAllah it's all for the best. :) As for swimming, there are hijab swimsuits you can buy online (you can google it), but they're a bit pricey. Maybe you could try to make your own with different pieces of clothing (like a tunic and some baggy pants) but I don't know about your neck. A swimcap covers your hair but your neck would still be exposed, so unless you can find some sort of aquadynamic (that's not a word but pretend..like aerodynamic but in water) hijab that also covers your neck, you may have to leave the swim team, sorry. :( But you could try biking or running, they both work out your body similarly to swimming. Good luck!


Fatima 2 years ago

Elsalamu-alaykum for over two summers now I've been saying that I will start wearing hijab but then I don't at the last second. Iam going to 11the grade next year and my problem is I moved to the united 3 years ago from Egypt and Iam the kind of a quiet person and I don't have friends that will kind of back me up so Iam scarred that when I wear hijab I won't have any friends to sit with at lunch or work with if I had a project since anyway now I am not that social or have strong relationship with people and Iam also worried about how will boys look at me now since they always considered me cute. I still strongly want to wear hijab this summer more than any year before. Thank you sorry for being long but you just motivated me to say what I feel.


Fatima 2 years ago

Please Farrah could you reply to me


Anonymus 2 years ago

Thanks soooo much! Sorry I would have replied earlier but we went for umra so yea but thanks sooo much!


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Fatima,

Sorry for the delayed response, I've been really busy! But to answer your concerns, you should go ahead and wear it. Many girls, myself included, find that they gain a new sense of confidence by wearing hijab. It teaches you to make yourself stand out in ways that aren't physical, so people will be able to respect and appreciate you more, and in a meaningful way. Don't fret about what others think, because you'll look back in a few years' time and you'll see how silly it was of you to give so much attention to others' opinions. Who cares? Allah's opinion of you is the only one that matters, and if you can truly believe that, then He will guide you and instill the strength within you. Also, shyness is a blessed trait to have. The Prophet (PBUH) was the shyest of people because he was the greatest in faith, and He said: "Shyness is born of faith". So don't try to change yourself! If that's how you are then you should embrace it, as shyness is its own virtue. Others will likely want to be in your company more because of it. :) iA you'll do just fine and good luck!


Husna 2 years ago

Assalam Alaikum Farah, I'm going to wear hijab next year and I'm scared because I live in the south were there are a lot of racist people... Can you please list some questions people might ask me so I can get ready for rude comments? I've already started wearing hijab outside of the home and have received some nasty glares and I'm really really nervous for high school. There aren't any Muslims at my school so there won't be anyone really there to support me... :'(


Maimouna 2 years ago

Hi ,im thinking about wearing the hijab but i don't know if i should wear it or not because i don't want too take it off ,because im going to see something cute ,like a fitted dress,shorts or something and wanna take it off,So Can You Please Give Me Advice?


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Husna,

Your predicament is quite similar to Ayesha's, so I will give the same advice to you. I think you should follow your heart and wear it. I moved to a small town during my last year of high school (that I just finished) and I was also the only Muslim and the only hijabi. The thing is, once you start wearing it, Allah truly gives you strength and confidence to continue. I think you will be fine, inshaAllah. If anything, your peers might even respect you, deep down, because you bravely chose to wore it despite the racist setting of your school and community. That's very admirable. :) And the wonderful thing about being a Muslim is that you are never truly alone. You may feel isolated and as though there is no one there to support you, but you have Allah. And He is the greatest to have by your side, so remember that. You're not alone.

As for the rude questions, I highly doubt anyone will say anything to your face. People may surely give you looks, but you should look straight ahead and ignore them. This dunya is a test and the people who try to put you down for wearing hijab will also be a part of the test, but stay strong and turn to Allah. Answer people's questions respectfully and to the best of your abilities, and if they do end up being ill-mannered, then you can say "I will not dignify that question with a response" and walk away. You are not obligated to answer someone's questions if they are intentionally trying to hurt you. But as I was saying, go for it and wear hijab. :)


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Maimouna,

Please keep in mind that in Islam, regardless of whether you're a hijabi or not, it's Haram for a woman to show her legs and wear fitted clothing (in public. of course you are given more freedom once married, and if you need more guidance on that, then there are some hadiths and verses from the Qu'ran that you could look up). So if you feel tempted to dress like that, know that it is strongly disapproved by Allah and it weakens one's faith to look (and act) similar to the non-believers. If you desire to grow closer to Allah and build a stronger Iman (faith), then you can try in baby steps, and the first step would be to dress more Muslimah-appropriate. Once you are comfortable in modest clothing (there are PLENTY of cute modest clothes in stores, so don't worry. see my above comments if you need help), then you should start wearing hijab, as those temptations will then inshaAllah be removed. Good luck, and I highly encourage you to wear hijab. :)


hazal 2 years ago

hey Farah! thank you for all the Motivation! i´m going to wear hijab after the summer Holidays.you helped me very much! thank you! SORRY FOR MY ENGLISCH I´M LIVING IN GERMANY


omaima 2 years ago

Hey,farah i have just recently started wearing hijab , and I find it to be fun and I love it! I think a lot of young girls would love for you to start a blog .you are full of wisdom and what sounds like expirience ! Im starting one once I get my new laptop iA .if you do want to start one could you let me know :) I hope you do , and thanks for inspiring me :)


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Hazal,

I'm so glad that I could help you in your decision. :)


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Omaima,

Haha wow thank you so much! I don't know what I'd talk about in a blog, though...lol and I don't have much wisdom or experience! I'm still really young. :) But thanks a lot! I'm happy to help.


Ayesha 2 years ago

ASSALAM ALAIKUM!! Girl, I'm so happy that I started wearing hijab! Obviously everyone at the school looks at me weird but I've found plenty of people who are willing to talk to me though I wear a hijab. Within 2 minutes of me walking into school on the first day of school someone asked me why I wore hijab! I was like wow!! The most funniest thing I find funny is to watch the guy's expressions as they see me. Others look at me in total disgust and others are looking at me in shock and then they run into someone in the hallway. Thanks Farah seriously, this is really from deep down I appreciate not only what you did for me here, but for all the girls on here who needed help and advice from someone they know went through first hand experience. May Allah always accept your duas and give you the future you always have dreamed for. Amen


Ayesha 2 years ago

*^ Ameen


jk 2 years ago

Asalam u Alaikum sister

I started wearing a hijab about 6 months ago. But recently I have been going outdoors without a hijab on.. I feel soo stupid and uncomfortable when im not wearing a hijab.. I live in a rasict erea I know that's no excuse.. Am I a bad person.. I don't want to be without my hijab. Sorry if I sound stupid...


Safiyah 2 years ago

I'm 11 years old and I'm about to enter secondary school. I'm not sure whether I want to start wearing my hijab or not. I'm really worried about what my friends would think and how I will be treated. I've never been bullied in my life but I know it's horrible. And if I start would I be able to carry on even if I'm being stared at and insulted? I haven't told my mum yet that I want to start wearing it but I know she would be thrilled. Its going to be especially hard for me because I'm not exactly the best Muslim. Sometimes I will not pray because I'm too tired or would watch TV instead of reading the Q'uran. I sometimes lie or even question my faith and Allah but I'm trying to change although its definitely not going to be easy. Sorry that this was so long but I could do with some advice and encouragement. Thank you so so much if you took the time to read this.


Roka 2 years ago

Hey Farrah I just wanted to know does it matter if I wore hijab now or wait two years later just about the time iam going to start college and I know I am going to be ready mentally and spiritually 100% for it even if I am not I will still do it. Please help


2 years ago

Salam Farah,

Wow all of your comments have really motivated me. In a couple of hours I have to go to a school event to volunteer although where I live school has not started yet.

I started hijab like 2 months ago but it was summer and I really didn't interact with anyone from school.

As the event approaches I'm feeling very overwhelmed because no one except for my muslim friends know that I have started hijab. Plus there is not a single hijabi in my school although there are quite a few muslims.

The main thing I'm worried about is that the people who will be there to help volunteer at the event will be cheerleaders and other people who got into the same class I did.

I don't know any of them really well but they are all popular and all of them are already friends with each other. I know even if I didn't wear hijab it would be hard to talk and make friends with them, but I have this feeling they will ignore me because of my headscarf and look at me strangely.

I know from various comments I have heard last year in classrooms before I was hijabi that the people in my school don't really know anything about islam. Some have muslim friends but if they are girls I don't think they wear hijab so maybe they think the ones that do are extremists?

I'm also worried about the teachers especially the one I will have to see in a couple of hours.

To get into her class everyone had to apply and then give interviews and she selected probably 40 people from that to be in her class (it is an elective). I wonder if she'll wonder why I am wearing the scarf and if I have changed over the summer into some terrorist....

I know that is illogical but my brain is coming up will all kinds of things to worry about. I know I shouldn't care what others think but these jitters won't go away until the event is over I guess and I can gauge her reaction.

Oh well.

But wow Ma Shaa Allah you are so brave for wearing hijab just like that and your comments have motivated me.

I know a lot of people have bigger problems to worry about but I just wanted to let all this out and I honestly feel better Alhamdulillah although this is just online.

I'm just a very shy and conscious person, it's in my nature plus I'm very reserved so if someone asks me a question about my hijab I'm scared I'll be too quiet or shy to answer in a sophisticated manner as you have written in the comments.

Jazak Allah khair for sharing such a great and motivating experience!


Zena 2 years ago

Hi Farrah i'm really nervous and scared at the same time, because i'm gonna wear a scarf when i go back to school. I'm in high school,(13yrs)I just wanted to ask what should i say if my friends and other people say why have you started wearing a scarf? I don't know what to say to them! Thank you so much!


Kubra 2 years ago

Hey Farah. I'm 15 years old and I'm about to enter high school. I'm not sure whether I want to start wearing my hijab or not. But I used to wear it outside of school like elementary and middle. I'm really worried about what my friends would think and how I will be treated because I have been friends with them since 3rd grade. Thank you so much.


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

(Sorry for the delayed response, everyone! I've recently started college and have been really busy with that)

Salaam Ayesha,

Ameen. Aw, thank you so much for your dua. I sincerely wish the same for you! Your comment filled my heart with warmth and put the biggest smile on my face. I'm so glad that I could help you in this way, and may Allah always guide you. :)


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam jk,

I'm not the one who decides if you're a good or bad person because I can't see what's inside your heart, so that's solely up to God. But if you feel uncomfortable without it, that's probably your Nafs telling you that you should be wearing it. Which is a good thing, most likely. Feeling ashamed is a sign that you have Haya.

If you say you don't want to be without your hijab, and you sometimes go without it, then the only issue is...yourself! There's nothing I can do to help, you just need to gain the confidence to wear hijab and keep it on whenever you go in public, and wherever else you need to wear it. It's a simple matter, so don't trouble yourself too much. Just try to keep it on, and whenever you find yourself tempted to take it off, think of how that will affect you and Allah's judgment of you in the Hereafter. Shaytan will do a lot to prevent you from wearing hijab, but inshaAllah your faith will strengthen. You can do it. :)


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Safiyah,

I highly doubt you'll be bullied. Thousands upon thousands of women wear hijab in America and only a very, very small minority of them have been bullied face-to-face. I say face-to-face because of course people have said things over the internet, but rarely does someone have the nerve to actually say something to a hijabi's face. Also, if your friends accept you now, then they should accept you with hijab. You'll still be Safiyah. And if any of your friends really do have an issue with it, then try explaining it to them. If they still don't respect it, then good riddance! You don't need people like that in your life.

You asking me "would I be able to carry on?" is of no use. That's a question for yourself! I'm not you, so I don't know the answer to that. But you know what you're capable of, and try not to underestimate yourself. The human spirit is very resilient, and we have a knack for picking ourselves up after falling down. Because of that, I would have to say that you SHOULD be able to carry on. Because you 100% can. If you believe it, then it can become your reality. Also, it's okay if you have faults. You don't have to be a perfect Muslim. Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “He will not enter Hellfire who has the weight of a seed of faith in his heart and he will not enter Paradise who has the weight of a seed of arrogance in his heart.” So don't question your faith! Even if you have a mustard seed's weight of faith in your heart, you are okay. Praying and reading Qu'ran, while very important part of being a Muslim, do not necessarily make one closer to Allah. It is not the quantity, but the quality. I know of people who don't miss a prayer, yet they are constantly hot-tempered and always speak ill of others. I know of people who miss a few prayers, but they are the kindest Muslims I've met.

Basically, don't overthink it. When the time comes, and inshaAllah it will, then you'll know. If you really feel ill-prepared, then maybe don't wear it right this second. But remember that you can control how you feel. If you feel nervous and doubtful, simply change your perspective. It all comes down to you. You have the power to alter your mindset and accept hijab, and you can totally do it. It's best if you do gain that self-control early on because it'll help in the long. But I believe in you!!


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Roka,

It's best if you let the hijab come to you. Don't force yourself upon it if you don't feel ready - it isn't something to be pressured. And remember that the hijab is more than just a headscarf, it's a lifestyle. While you may be able to wear a physical hijab without feeling spiritually confident, your actions/thoughts may not reflect that, and that contradicts the hijab. So make sure that what you hear/think/see etc. has its own veil. Along with the one that will inshaAllah be on your head. So you can wait two weeks, months, or years. It doesn't matter the amount of time, really. If you wanted to start hijab next month, you can. Because college doesn't actually give you the power to wear hijab, that comes from within. And if you'll presumably have that willpower two years from now - why not have it now as well? It's all inside you. You can totally start hijab sooner than two years. :)


Zena 2 years ago

Please answer my question!!!!!!


Maryam 2 years ago

Hey Farah-

I started my freshmen year of high school 2 weeks ago.I was originally going to wear hijab in the first place, but I chickened out and decided not to. There are a LOT of hijabis at my school, and I met a lot of them. I feel like I should have worn the hijab starting on the first day. I kind of want to wear it now, but I don't know.. Because It's already been 2 weeks and I already know a lot of people now and I feel like it would be strange to start now. If I don't this year, since the year already started, I am 100 percent going to where hijab sophomore year.


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Zena,

I apologize for not getting back sooner. I had just started college when you asked the question, then went on vacation in Texas and was preoccupied with my classes and completely forgot to check up on my Hub comments. I sincerely apologize. But when people ask "Why do you wear hijab?" You can answer "because it's a part of committing to my religion and showing my devotion to God. I also wear it to preserve my modesty so I don't have guys looking at me inappropriately and they can instead respect me for my mind rather than my body."


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Maryam,

I would advise you to start as soon as you can, as you should Islamically. Plus you already hold a desire to wear it, so the only thing standing in the way is yourself. :) But if you feel weird starting it all of a sudden, maybe try it over Winter Break. That way there's a bit of a gap so it's not like you're a hijabi the very next day. Anyhow, it can keep ya nice and toasty during the winter. That's always a good thing :) Good luck with whenever you start!


materjay 2 years ago

Hi i been thinking of wearing hijab sense my freshman year n now im in the 11th grade n i really wanna wear thr hijab n i was gunna start on the first day of school but the only problem is my mom she doesbt want me to wear n hates the idea of me wearing it. My sister is in collage n engaged n she is also gunna start wearing it soon this month or next month n my mom isbt really concerned about her cos i guess shes old enough. I will be 18 in likke 4 months. My mom keeps sayin no becus she thinks im either to young im doin it to fit in wid my friends who are africab n kenyan im also african to she thinks i wanna be like them n doesn't believe me for why im trying to wear the hijab i feel ready would like to try starting again right after eid but i feel like it wont happened becus of her. I know that i can disobey her but im scared


Samreen Sultana 2 years ago

Assalaam Alaikum Farah,

Thank you for the post. Not sure if you'll still respond to my message as I'm reading your post much later when you posted it.

So I never used to wear the hijab and just starting wearing it this past Ramadan alhamdulillah. Before that I was always into fashion, make-up, doing my hair really nice and also into dancing as I've always love to dance for friend's weddings, etc.

I just went to a Pakistani wedding this past weekend for the first time after putting on my hijab and couple of people who had never seen me before reacted a bit funny when they saw me so that didn't make me feel so good. Then I saw a bunch of girls did their dance routine in front of everyone and they were beautiful with the long hair flowing, etc, etc....

I feel so guilty saying this but I miss dancing on wedding, doing my hair really nice, etc, etc... :( I'm going through such a difficult time right now as hijab is becoming a struggle. I'm still wearing it but I can't believe how I felt at the wedding when I saw girls dancing on my favourite songs and looking so beautiful with their hair out. I started to miss my hair. I'm not sure what to do. I just keep praying to Allah (swt) to give me courage, patience and a good man to get married to because I'm married and happy in my married life, maybe these things will not matter anymore.

What would you advise?

Thank you.

Samreen


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Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Materjay,

I think you should pull out some verses from the Qu'ran as well as some Hadiths about hijab and how it's mandatory, and then sit down with your mom and discuss them. Tell her that you're not doing it for anyone but Allah, and it's an obligation, and for her to prevent you from fulfilling an Islamic obligation is a big sin. She may have her own reasons but ultimately Allah's word carries more weight than hers, so you need to have her understand that. inshaAllah she will open up her mind a bit and encourage you to wear hijab, but until then, I encourage you to wear it. God gives everyone difficulties in different ways to bring us closer to Him, and your mom thinking like that may be one of those obstacles. It'll be beneficial for you in the long run to go ahead and wear hijab, even if it might be hard right now with how your mom is acting. Good luck :)


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 2 years ago Author

Salaam Samreen,

First of all, congratulations on deciding to wear hijab. That in itself is a big decision and a blessed one, MashaAllah. :)

Second, don't worry about how others react. If it's positive then that's great, and if it's not then ignore it. In the end, your hijab is not to please them so it doesn't matter what they think. Also, to address how upset you're feeling about not being able to dance or do your hair...you can still do those! Just in private or around other girls. If you want to do it because you miss it or because it was fun for you, then simply do it for yourself. You can do that. When you're alone, go ahead and play with your hair or do a dance. Or invite some friends over (female, of course) and have a little dance party and let your hair loose. You just can't do that in front of guys, but that doesn't mean you can't do it ever again. Your hair is still on your head, but also remember that it doesn't define you. It's just hair. You're not a different person for wearing hijab, you simply need to be more modest and cover yourself. If others don't want to accept that, then you don't need them in your life. In the eyes of Allah I'm sure you're more beautiful than before for choosing to follow His will, and inshaAllah you'll be rewarded for that.

This life is just a test, so don't take what others think too seriously. Worry about yourself and your deen, and everything else will fall into place. :)


Materjay 23 months ago

Hey farah its materjay again.

Lol allahamdulliah i start wearing hijab to school this week and it wasbt really weird most people like it i started on tuesdays but the problem is my mom doesn't know. In the morning i put my scarf in my bag n go to school then change to put it on irally don't like doing that but if my mom find out i started wearing at school behind her back she'll be mad n idk what she'll do im scared to tell her or when i have to go out somewhere with her out the house she not gunna let me put my scarf one. So idk what to do or how long i can keep goun behind her back soon i will run out of scarves to wear everyday to school n she don't want me buying any more scarces either. I just don't know what to do n im too scared to tell her i startes wearing hijab to school because once you start its a commitment nd im ready to commit i just don't want her to make me stop wearing it after ppl in school already seen me in for the past 3-4 days


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 23 months ago Author

Salaam materjay,

You can't keep hiding it from your mom if you never made an attempt to talk to her. Communication is key. I understand that everyone is different and you might be scared, and you can't predict her reaction, but please heed my advice and try to talk to her. If after talking to her she still insists against hijab, then you can go ahead and wear it behind her back. But you must make an effort to have her understand how important hijab is for a Muslimah and how it can inshaAllah bring you closer to God.

Once you have a chat with her, regardless of her response, you should go ahead and wear hijab. But talk to her first. Good luck sister :)


OhsnapitsThia 18 months ago

Salaam Farah. I just read your post. I really liked it. Once upon a time in my life I thought I was ready to wear the hijab. I wore it for a while, but every time I put it on, I felt like I lost my whole personality. I feel boring, drab and dull. When I am usually described as an upbeat, happy and energetic person. I felt like I wasn't "me" anymoreI lost all my self-confidence and self esteem when I have it on. Which is a problem, because I need self-confidence, especially to be me. I’m currently student body president and I’m entering a leadership program next year for high school. So as you can see, I very leadership-y ( I can't find a better word to describe it). But I don’t feel like a leader when I have a hijab on.I lose self-confidence and that's an important trait for a leader to have. I feel like my whole personality vanishes when I put it on. Which is ironic because my best friend is hijabi and she is also a very good leader (she’s VP of our school), and is going to the leadership same program as me. So I just want to know how to have self confidence with a hijab on. Do you have any tips that might help me?


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 17 months ago Author

Salaam Thia,

First off, I sincerely apologize for my belated reply. But as for your concerns, I think the best way to tackle your issue of a lack of confidence is by pretending. Just "fake it 'til you make it". That has actually been proven true by scientists; if you smile enough on the outisde, regardless of how you feel on the inside, it will eventually cause you to feel true happiness. You can apply the same idea with your confidence. If you pretend to be confident in hijab, even if you don't really feel like it, it will eventually become your real feeling.

I also suggest making dua that Allah gives you strength, because it is clearly an internal thing if your friend is able to wear hijab without any issues. If she can do it, so can you. Also, it may be a self-fulfilling prophecy that you feel more dull with hijab on. Don't think of it as some kind of mask that hides who you are, but as a beautiful frame for your face that will help you to shine and stand out in ways that others cannot. For example, people will focus MORE on your personality because they won't be as distracted by your physical features, so you should take advantage of that and be yourself. You can captivate people with your lovely character more easily because of hijab, it honestly is not a hindrance. You just have to change your mentality! :) Good luck sister.


Rema 16 months ago

Salaam

I am very curious about the hole hijab thing and i am thinking about it a lot. Maybe i should start wearing it. I just need a little push. I am afraid i might take it of later, which i don't want to. what should i do?


Maham 16 months ago

Hey Farah :)

I am in year/grade 7 and i am a Muslim and my friends and teachers and all that know it, but i do not wear a hijab. I think i am going to start wearing one in year/grade 9 because i have to do PE/gym until year 9 and i thought it would be easier with all that running you know:) I am just worried that when i start to wear one and go to school people will stare at me and stuff... Don't get me wrong, i love being a Muslim i am not embarrassed not at all. I am just scared because people might stare and it will be a bit embarrassing. It does not help that i am the only Muslim in my whole school! Please help! Thanks :)


Bushra 14 months ago

AssalamoAlakum

I want to start wearing the hijab however none of my older sister have started.

so I feel like will be judged


Madihah 14 months ago

I'm planning on wearing hijab next year as a freshman in high school. I'm a little nervous and confused about what to wear during gym class and just hijabi friendly clothing in general.


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 13 months ago Author

Salaam Rema,

First of all I would like to apologize for taking so long to reply. I believe it was Ramadan when you commented and that would have been the best time to wear hijab, since people's iman tends to be the strongest at that time. If you are considering wearing hijab, then go for it! It is far better to wear it and know what it feels like than to always wonder and not wear it. If you need a push, just remember that hijab is fardh. Only good can come from wearing it and you won't know until you try. And always remember that you are wearing it to please Allah, so that can help you to avoid wanting to take it off. May Allah strengthen your iman, Ameen.


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 13 months ago Author

Salaam Maham,

I think the earlier you start wearing it, the better. I also told myself that I would wear it so and so but if it is already on your mind then go for it. Why not? As for the running, don't worry about it! I did 3 years of gym with hijab, including running and sports and everything. It only made me sweat more around my neck but I was fine, and you will be too inshaAllah. If you want to wait a little, then I suggest trying to wear it next Ramadan as it will be the easiest at that time. In the beginning, people will of course look at you more because they're not used to seeing you like that. But eventually everyone will grow accustomed to it and so will you. I was also the only Muslim in my whole school during my senior year, since I moved then. People looked a lot but looks don't matter, as long as they don't say anything rude, and Alhamdulillah that never happened with me. I wish you the best! Good luck.


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 13 months ago Author

Salaam Bushra,

I don't quite understand, if you were to start wearing hijab before your sisters why would you be judged? If anything, you can be a wonderful example and inspiration to them so they may also begin wearing it, inshaAllah. How could it be taken in a negative way?


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 13 months ago Author

Salaam Madinah,

I'm not sure if you have a uniform for gym class like my school did, which was a t-shirt and shorts, but I wore the t-shirt and comfy pants the same color as the shorts that everyone else wore, so it blended in more. If I could go back in time, however, I would have worn a full-sleeve athletic shirt (the ones made of that sweat-proof super breathable material) under the t-shirt, regardless of it being to my elbow. If you need inspiration on what to wear as a hijabi, there are plenty of hijabi fashion instagram accounts that have wonderful ideas for how to dress modestly in hijab and still look cute. Going and looking at some of those pictures can give you ideas! Good luck sister.


mohmoda 13 months ago

hi. I'm going to 9th grade next year and my parents are making me wear it. I'm so scared and nervous because I'mnot used to it. Society these days are so off and people are very judgmental. My friends hhave never seen me with a scarf. NAD I'm scared they'll leave me. Anhinr have advice?


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 13 months ago Author

Salaam Mohmoda,

You still have plenty of time before you have to start wearing it! And we see a lot of people in the media and online who are rude and judgmental but to be honest I have never had a single negative interaction in person because of my hijab, Alhamdulillah. Do your friends know you're a Muslim, though? Because maybe they know how women who are Muslim wear the hijab, and if not, then you could inform them of it and show them pictures and explain why. And then tell them how you're going to start wearing it, too, inshaAllah! I really don't think your friends would stop liking you just because you wear a scarf on your head. You'll still be the same person and a good friend, just one who dresses a little differently than before :)


ZaynyBrainy 13 months ago

Salam Farah!

Thanks so much for the article (though it didn't help much, let me explain). I already knew a lot of these things since I've been... Um... Hijabing? For nearly half a year or more now, but this was a great article and I know it has helped a lot of people.

I find I get asked how I put my hijab on a bit, but recently I started wearing "instant hijabs" with fake underscarves sewed on so I can literally put my underscarf and top hijab on in one go lol! I had a friend who knew me before I started who asked how I put on the hijab and I didn't mind showing my hair to show her how I put it on (I used infinity scarves in the beginning which by the way, quick tip, can be kept in place when you have to wrap them around with bobby pins!)

I just finished my last year of elementary school and I'm off to highschool and I'm a bit scared, not nearly as much about people accepting me being Muslim (before I didn't wear a hijab obviously and no one suspected I was Muslim – not like I hid it – unless me not eating pork surprised them but I don't care if people like me for being a Muslim, if they don't like me for that, I don't need them) just having to live up to expecations.

I feel like hijabs are very pretty, though matching them with outfits is a chore, but they have a level of class. People think you're probably highly knowledgable in Islam and highly classy. You won't expect a hijabi to say "Yo wassup my nigga" because that's just not an expectation. But I'm still a fun person, so I hope people don't try to filter themselves and not tell me jokes, because I HAVE a sense of humor still. I feel like it's the equivalent of not telling fart jokes around the queen of England, because she's expect to be classy, but we're all still people and I don't want that. I want friends who can tell me anything like I'm an atheist or such.

Oh well, school starts in about a week or so, wish me luck!


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 13 months ago Author

Salaam ZaynyBrainy! I usually have girls commenting asking for help so I was conditioned to read your comment looking for a problem but Alhamdulillah, it seems like you're getting along just fine :) Glad that your friends have accepted you and don't worry about people filtering themselves around you, if it's inappropriate then it's probably for the best and you're not missing out! Good luck with starting school next week :)


Unsure 11 months ago

Hello there, im in a bit of a pickle you see I started to wear hijab last year. I wasnt forced to wear it it was my own choice well I wore the hijab for a year and since starting college I felt like crap. Why? Because I could feel my self confidence running away from me. I feel like 2 different people one with hijab one without and I when covered with hijab I feel like I am depressed I literally have 0% confidence I don't know who I am anymore I feel like I ran with my eyes closed into the decision to wear hijab I don't even know why I wore it . But now I'm struggling more then ever I know I'm going to be judged horribly by everyone at school if I do take off my hijab but I'm already being laughed at and picked on because of my low confidence I just want it all to stop


Unsure 10 months ago

You could have atleast replied back


Zaina 9 months ago

Im 13 years old and im in 7 grade. I feel as if i should start wearing hijab butim confused because of the reactions at school from my enemies (which are a lot) and then from my family because only 2 women in our family wear the hijab and they both are married so im not sure. Help please!


Marjana 2 months ago

Hi Farah

I'm going to middle school. I live in a small country. My mom always wears urna. This means scarf in bengal. I'm eleven years old. I was born in the usa. I started to wear clothes like salwar kameez, blouse, skirts, pants & other stuff. My mom covers herself with her urna so well, that she looks like she's wearing a hijab. I'm not starting hijab yet. But I have to start covering my body. I'm shy of wearing urna at school. The students at my school ask so many questions. My mom isn't shy of showing that she is a muslim. But am worried and nervous of what the people around us will think of us. I told my mom this, but she said if I really believed in Allah, I wouldn't even think about this stuff. I don't know what to do. And in middle school there is middle school drama. I'm very nervous and shy. I'm a shy person. Plz reply. Thnx & assalamulaikum. :-)


Reem 7 weeks ago

Assalamu alaykum,

I am going into 7th grade and i've decieded to wear a hijjab to school. I'm really nervous because no one there is muslim and i will be the only one with a hijjab on. I'm worried that people will judge me and and ask questions. I am very sensitive towards these things. Also, I am not sure what i should wear to PE because I can't wear shorts or short sleeve while wearing hijjab.

I hope you reply to this comment,

Lora


Farah™ profile image

Farah™ 6 weeks ago Author

Salaam Unsure, Zaina, Marjana, and Reem,

I have noticed that you all have similar or identical questions and concerns to previous people so I encourage you to read through earlier comments as I'm positive everything can be answered from my prior responses inshaAllah! If you still have questions that haven't been addressed already then let me know as I will gladly help you. :)

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