How to Clarify What You Want

We are often so busy with the day to day activities that we forget to nurture the inner child within. We have forgotten the dreams of our childhood and more important, we have forgotten who we are. When we were young we thought everything was possible. We need to go back to that time.

This exercise will allow you to both identify what you want and make it clearer to you. It will cover all aspects of your life, both spiritual and material.

You need a time when you can be by yourself, free from all distractions of the outside world. If that requires that you lock yourself in one of the bathrooms in the house, then do so. The point being this is a time for YOU.

The most important requirement for this exercise is to go back to the time when you were really happy, so before proceeding to do the exercise, please take a moment to remember such a time and put yourself there. Remember the feeling. If you have the luxury of being alone in the home and will be undistracted for a while, then you can put on some music that really makes you happy.

It will be much better if you are out in the fresh air, feeling the earth below you and seeing the heavens above, but it is all up to you. Above all else, no judgment. Do not judge what you write.

When you are ready, you can begin.

You will need several sheets of papers 8.5 x 11 inches.

Fold the sheet lengthwise then draw a line where you have it folded.

On the left hand side write "What Is" as the heading and on the right hand side "What Was"

Your areas of focus are:

Spiritual Development

What would you do to enhance your spiritual development? This is all very personal and you need not elaborate on it for anyone but yourself.


What would you like to have in terms of health?

What is your definition of healthy?


How would you improve your family relationships?

Relationships: friendships, romance

What would your ideal romance and friendly relationships be like?

Personal Achievements

Make a list of all the things you have ever wanted to do


This area is very sensitive. Only you can define it. The most important question is "What would I give in terms of service and or product that will allow me to create the kind of money that would make me comfortable?"

Your Unique Contribution to the World

You are a unique individual but you live in this world. We all do. Part of your being here is to make a contribution to the world at large. it is your dharma, your role in life, your path, in this life.

You can add another category if you like.

Put the categories/labels at the very top of each sheet ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE in bold.

Write everything you want on the left hand side and what you do not want on the right hand side.

It is important that you clarify both not wants and wants so as you write on the left hand side you need to write something on the right hand side.

This exercise when done properly will take a while.

When you are done, use scissors to cut out the right hand side. Shred it or tear it out, or better yet, burn it.

Carry the left hand side with you or put it in a place where you will see it at least once a day.

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Comments 47 comments

I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s profile image

I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s 6 years ago

Awesome Hub! :) I need to get my nose out of the computer more to take some quiet time! Thank you.. I'll be back to listen to more vids..

AlexK2009 profile image

AlexK2009 6 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland

A deceptively simple exercise.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you, Invictus.

Thank you, Alex

creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

Thank you msorensson for a fantastic hub, I enjoyed it. thank for sharing. Godspeed. creativeone59

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you creativeone59. I am glad you enjoyed it.

Much love,


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois

Great advice! Thanks Melinda:) I should try that sometimes.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you tim-tim!!

Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

Hi, what a fantastic idea! I really need to do this, as I have trouble getting myself organised. I know what I want, but always put it to one side. I haven't got the time today to watch the video's but I will definetly be back. thank you. cheers nell

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you, Nell!!

DynamicS profile image

DynamicS 6 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Linda, I have been missing your great hubs. Glad to read another. I have been learning how to do this for the last little while and it is not always easy to clearly state what you want. Thanks for the exercise in finding clarity.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Hey, DynamicS,

In order to really clarify what we want, we also need to know what we don't want.

The law of attraction works both ways, it attracts what we want and what we resist.

Therefore we have to acknowledge that which we resist and then let it go. It will allow us focus on what we want.

This means we have to acknowledge them both, eliminate what we do not want by a physical method, the cutting it out and shredding it or burning it so that we will be left with what to focus on.

We fuel our desires with our feelings of gratitude, of joy, of generosity of spirit.

I just read this in the Bible today. "Whatever things ye ask for, believe that you have received them and they shall be granted to you." But you have to know what to ask for.

Thank you for reading it and I hope it would help .

mwatkins profile image

mwatkins 6 years ago from Portland, Oregon & Vancouver BC

I love, love, love this idea! I and my husband, both, are using our Sunday to do this exercise! Thank you so much for sharing it with everyone here on Hub Pages!

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thanks, mwatkins!!

sree1987 profile image

sree1987 6 years ago from India

You have put it clear.

Thanks for sharing.

Nice hub.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you, Sree1987. I am glad you like it.

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago

Msorensson, Nice hub! Great idea! It is important to be in touch with your inner child. When nurtured it is the part of you that brings happiness to the surface and helps you to become resillient when life throws you a curve. The inner child helps you enjoy life; the adult in you balances it all out and helps you to be responsible....

Thank you again for sharing, In His love, Peace & Blessings!

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

What a great way to put it, DeBorrah. Thanks!!


loveofnight profile image

loveofnight 6 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

again you are educating me, i will be trying this soon........on another note, used the colon cleansing and i feel squeaky clean

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

wonderful!! Thank you loveofnight!!

tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

Thank you Melinda for this wonderful Hub! I shall return! Bookmarked.

Love and peace


msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you, Tony~~

dallas93444 profile image

dallas93444 6 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

Perhaps intent is a key element. Intent is like faith. With any "work" behind faith, nothing is accomplished... Great hub. Your hubs are a delight and informative as well. Keep them coming !

billyaustindillon profile image

billyaustindillon 6 years ago

Melinda this is great hub on many levels. For goal setting, for finding your purpose for balance and awareness, Inner peace and inner forgiveness are crucial for all of this ongoing challenge that is life.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you, Dallas!!

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you, Billy. Often we do not really know what we want. The sentence "keeping up with the Joneses" is true whether the Joneses are your grandparents/parents/colleagues/high school classmates..etc etc..

As long as the goal is not ours, meaning not self-determined, then it will not "satisfy" us for in defining whatever it is that we want..for ourselves..regardless of what anyone else dictates, then we have already won.

In search for something higher/better we can always abandon the goal and still be happy because we put the carrot there ourselves..and we can always change the carrot to apple/pineapple/kiwi.. :-)

katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

msorensson, I want to continue this path of knowing, peace and joyfulness. thank you for your beautiful gifts shared with so many. Abandant blessing be yours. Peace :)

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you, katiem!! Let me know if there is anything specific I can do for you!!

Much love,


suny51 profile image

suny51 6 years ago

Hello msorensson,Thank you for reminding about the most important values of life -"your priorities".

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you suny :-)

suny51 profile image

suny51 6 years ago

Hello msorensson,

read the topic of this hub,thats my question to you.

i must have done some thing terribly wrong that I am not aware of,but I am keen to know that,I insist.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Oh..I am sorry I do not understand. Did you mean to ask me what my priorities in life are?

I cannot tell you one specific one...I live day by day, and when I am centered only moment to moment, as it should be.

katiem2 profile image

katiem2 6 years ago from I'm outta here

Many people have trouble with this and I will def share this as we could all use the principles outlined to better guide our lives. Thanks for the offer to help, your such a wonderful energy. I meditate each day and with the AHHH sound feel what I want. Peace and Blessings :)

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Congratulations on enjoying the meditation, katiem!!

I am glad you enjoyed the hub. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment.


SilverGenes 6 years ago

Thank you for this wonderful hub and I plan to implement it a lot more often!

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you SilverGenes. I am glad you will do the exercise. Thank you for dropping by!! See you on the hubs!!

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

I really like this hub. I think following the plan you outlined would be very helpful and I am going to try it. I think it will provide some insight in needed areas. Thank you.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you, Pamela. I just thought of a better way to do it, if you have time, put the phrases in 5x8 cards and on one day that you can play with them on a table, you would come up with unique combinations. Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment. Much appreciated.

Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

Very interesting idea. Though my wife may argue my "inner child within" makes appearances more often than I'd ever admit. ;)

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Ohhh please stay as childlike as always, Springboard.

Children are very creative,they appreciate beauty, they are indifferent to competition as they are more after the play than winning or losing, and above all else, they see things with a fresh eye, every time, all the time.

Thank you for dropping by.

vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 6 years ago from Nashville Tn.

Excellent hub on the "inner child within". My inner child seems to let me know when I am ignoring her. I will usually get sick which of course keeps me from my work schedule. When this happens, I am reminded to play and laugh - taking the time out to get in touch with her.

I just love your writing and look forward to each new hub . Thank you, you amazng woman!

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Thank you vocalcoach, you are much too kind. This reminds me of the other night. You have to feed your inner child...never ever ignore her..

There are days when even the dogs cannot induce me to eat. My son is now in college...I do have to eat as long as I am

So to feed my inner child, I went and got a bar of Hersheys with almonds and ate it as my dinner...who hoo...

Thank you for coming by..

GPAGE profile image

GPAGE 6 years ago from California

m. i loved this article. thank you. i have found that lately thoughts of my youth have empowered me in my present life. inspired me to move on at a better pace and open my heart to new possibilities...i do need to take more time alone. i am the ultimate multi tasker! And i am always busy doing things for others!!!....will make more time to be with me. Best, G

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

I am glad you like it, GPage. Thank you kindly for dropping by and leaving a comment. Much appreciated.

CMCastro profile image

CMCastro 6 years ago from Baltimore,MD USA

You definitely give a wonderful collection of thoughts to savor in the mind. It would be great as "book on Tape(or CD)" so people on the go, like me, can take it wherever they have time to focus on something new. Thank you.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago Author

Oh.. that is so very kind. Thank you!!

vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

I felt the need to visit your hub again and go through the exercise. It is amazing! You are so very kind to share your knowledge with so many of us. This is an area that is so completely ignored in todays fast pace. A good and healthy thing to do and I must pass this hub on to a few people who would benefit from it. Thank you dear Melinda.

msorensson profile image

msorensson 5 years ago Author

Vocalcoach, thank you for coming back and for sharing it with those whom you think might benefit.

Indeed it is very challenging for most of us to decide what we want..we are pulled by so many thoughts, ideas, wants, all juxtaposed with each other, and almost always of equally opposing forces.

It runs deeper than we think, and at times it is not possible for us to access the reasons why so we can undo them. So we need to remind ourselves from time to time and decide what is important to us.

Thank you. It is a joy to see you always, vocalcoach.

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